Sunday a week ago, I took the labels off a new backpack, highlighted a campus map and laid out a sweatshirt and jeans. I second-guessed my sneakers because my sister’s grandson told us the “S” in the name brand stands for “senior citizen.” Still, they are my most comfortable shoes.
It was bedtime, but I was too nervous to sleep. I picked up my phone and posted in Fabulous Women Over 60: “I did a thing … going back to college … First day tomorrow. Fulltime student at 68. Scared sh**less.” (Crazy laughing emoji.)
A couple good friends questioned my motives. “Wouldn’t it be easier to get some counseling?” “Why in the world would you want to go through that again?” Honestly, that night before bed, I wondered myself. For many years after college, I had bad dreams about not being able to find a classroom or studying the wrong material. I hope I’m not inviting those nightmares back.
First Day Jitters
By morning, dozens of comments followed my post. Holy dopamine! Last check, there were more than six hundred good wishes and two hundred encouraging comments. It felt like starting school with the whole marching band behind me.
I knew my “why” when I walked on campus. I’d been lonely in retirement and unsure of my purpose. Looking around, so much had not changed in 50 years. The clothes are the same – flare jeans and sweats. I’m convinced skinny jeans are passé. It’s time to shop for wider legs. And different shoes, of course.
At the bookstore – full of tempting tech and study supplies – I picked up my pre-ordered texts and a State College of Florida t-shirt. Then, it was off to Student Services where I chatted with a fellow senior citizen in charge of student IDs and parking passes. He pointed me toward the Student Union where I ordered an egg sandwich and coffee from another senior at cafeteria checkout.
Campus Culture
The Student Union is a center hub just like it was at Illinois State half a century ago. Pool balls breaking, cards shuffling, lots of laugher. A smattering of older-than-50 folks dotted the lounge, mostly teachers, I guessed. It’s safe to say I’m not the only big kid who enjoys a learning environment. And I promise you, I’m not the only one wearing the S brand.
When I earned my degree in the 70s, I lugged around a black Royal typewriter. I shouldn’t be surprised now – everyone’s face is in their phone, plus about half of the crowd on campus wears headphones. It’s tricky making eye contact, much less coaxing a smile.
Everything a student needs is in that deck-of-cards-sized computer. I’ll admit, it’s more convenient than the antique Royal. My student dashboard shows all my classes, assignments and grades. It’s impossible not to check it all the time – a disappointment because I want to chill the relationship with my phone.
Facing Fears
My goal is to earn a digital publishing certificate, an update to my earlier B.S. in communications. Yes, they found my moldy transcripts after all this time. In-person classes are going well. My struggle is with online-only classes. I’m that kid staring at the ceiling because I just don’t get it.
I let my fingers do some walking in the campus directory (stored conveniently on my phone). Bingo – there is a walk-in tutoring center open on campus six days a week to help challenged learners like me. My campus counselor is looking into switching me to an in-person class if one is available. The resources are phenomenal.
I’m not the only one who is scared. In Computer Lab, I sit next to a gal from Ukraine who speaks no English. She hopes to become a Disney animator. I only hope to learn my way around the graphics software.
In Creative Writing, we shared our fears. What if I’m not good enough? Is there a way to make money with writing? Do people even read anymore? These are all very legitimate questions for 20-somethings. I wish there was a gentle way to tell them the questions don’t get easier.
Flexing the Learning Muscle
Nearly 20 years ago, as I approached big birthday 5-0, I got the nudge to study for my real estate license. I figured it would be good backup if something happened to my husband. Something happened all right, and my real estate education sustained me through an unexpected divorce in my 60s – certainly easier than waitressing in my 20s to survive divorce number one.
I’m facing 70 in two blinks of an eye. Now that I’ve reached comfortable retirement, I play with a community band that rehearses and performs at the local college where the new digital publishing curriculum beckoned from a bulletin board poster. Retirement seems so open-ended. Maybe there’s more. Maybe there’s not. But I want to be ready if something happens.
You can bet something will.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
Have you entertained the thought of going back to college? What would you study? Why haven’t you done something about it?
