Stassi Schroeder’s Pink Puffy Top, White Pants and Pink Satin Shoes at Brittany’s Wedding Shower

Vanderpump Rules Season 8 Episode 7 Fashion

We first reported on Stassi Schroeder’s pink puffy top, white pants and pink satin shoes back in April when she wore them to host an event at Bloomingdales, and I’ve got good news and bad news regarding it. The good news is that she got more use of of this totally amazing outfit by also wearing it to Brittany Cartwright’s wedding shower on tonight’s Vanderpump Rules. The bad news is that while it was in stock when we first posted on it the pieces are now sold out. And the other bad news is that if you are married already you probably missed out on the idea of having princesses at your wedding shower.

The Realest Housewife,

Big Blonde Hair

Click Here to See her Wayf Pants

Click Here to See her SJP Heels

Click Here to See her Sold Out Acler Top

Information: @StassiSchroeder

Originally posted at: Stassi Schroeder’s Pink Puffy Top

Victoria Fuller’s Green Silk Dress at the Rose Ceremony

The Bachelor Season 24 Episode 8 Fashion

Victoria Fuller’s green silk dress at the rose ceremony that she somehow made it to on last night’s episode of The Bachelor was super chic, which is why we’re very sorry to report that it’s out of stock. And although we really hate being the bearer of bad news, we’re just glad that we have the ability to hide our faces while doing so like Merissa.

Fashionably,

Faryn

Click Here to See Her Sold Out Reformation Dress

Click Here to Shop Her Schutz Sandals

Originally posted at: Victoria Fuller’s Green Silk Dress

“Don’t take things personally,” a good friend said years ago, back when I started internet dating. “He doesn’t know you.”

I was younger then, and more stubborn.

“How can I not take it personally? We went out and he didn’t call. It’s personal.” My voice was operatic. “He’s rejecting me. Me.”

In those days, I didn’t have a clue.

My friends, who are new to online dating, don’t get it either. It’s as if they have expectations of polite, drawing room behavior, and this isn’t a salon world. They are frustrated and want to cancel their dating site memberships.

I remind them it’s not so easy when you’re older, meeting a man in real life. “IRL,” I say. “See? It’s got its own acronym, so it must be a phenomenon.” This attempt at humor doesn’t make any of my friends laugh.

“Online dating should be a supplement to meeting IRL,” I say, hoping to appease.

Online dating takes time. You’ve got to keep track of who’s out there, who emails you back, and who doesn’t. You don’t want to waste time contacting someone who’s ignored you. You have a little spiral notebook, or you employ a lot of sticky notes. Whatever works.

When you’re standing in line at the supermarket, you’ll take a peek at your phone. You’ve got the dating site app on there anyway, so you might as well check, in case someone’s emailed.

In other words, it’s work. And getting back to the not taking it personally part, that’s why my friends are so frustrated.

Getting Rejected by Someone You’re Not Interested in Dating

My friend Margaret went bicycle riding with a forensic lawyer who had an excellent opinion of himself. Margaret describes him as so overweight, “He looked like a pimple atop his bicycle. We roared with laughter for two hours,” she says.

At the end of their date, he asked if she wanted the good news or the bad news first. “The bad news,” she said, taken aback by the question.

“The bad news is, your temperament doesn’t suit mine,” he said. “The good news is, I really want to go to bed with you.”

Margaret took this rejection personally, even though she wasn’t interested in seeing him again. “I wasn’t good enough for him to get to know me. It was denigrating. Daters need to know how to be nice when they’re rejecting you,” she says.

Several of my friends agree, and they are baffled by the inertia many of the candidates display on dating sites. “Why would people in our age group mess around?” says Margaret. “We’re there to meet.”

Mr. Nice Emails Daily

My friend Nancy says she’d like to meet a man, and she regularly goes on her favorite online dating site. Sometimes with a glass of wine for a little added courage.

Her opinion? This online dating thing is getting to be a second job. She’s writing four or five guys, sometimes more. But there’s one guy who pops up often.

We’ll call him Mr. Nice.

He’s nice because he pops up just when you need him. After all, scrolling page after page of photos, reading profiles, and thinking up clever ice breakers is exhausting.

That’s why Nancy thanks the online dating gods for sending Mr. Nice. Most men fade in and out, sort of a hit and run approach.

But with Mr. Nice, every day brings a new and chatty story, how his daughter aced her law boards and his grandson made the basketball team. She tells him about her grandkids.

It’s as if they know each other.

And it’s been three, four, five, six days. Nancy is sure he’ll ask for her phone number. Soon.

She’s thinking she’ll concentrate her efforts on this one man. Rate of return is an important concept.

Then, one evening he doesn’t email. Nothing the next day, or the next. Is he sick? She writes, asking if he has the virus that’s going around.

His lack of response reverberates, and even her dog feels it. The sound of silence, email-wise. She never hears from him again.

He’s ghosted.

Here’s where Don’t take it personally comes in. You didn’t know each other. He’s not your friend.

She moves on because… what choice does she have? And guess what? She gets an email from a guy with curly grayish-brown hair, his curly-gray poodle in his lap. She emails back, and he asks for her phone number, just like that.

He calls.

They talk for 45 minutes. She tells him about her grandkids and her pickle ball group. He tells her about his penchant for old black and white movies. She likes his warmth, his laugh.

“Yes,” she breathes into the phone. She’s already calling him Mr. Nicer in her head. He doesn’t suggest meeting, but he texts the following evening, a long and chatty text.

He sends her a couple of photos as he goes about his errands, a grill at Home Depot, a new iPhone at Walmart. I’m researching these items, he texts. He even sends a picture of his salad; he’s stopped for lunch at Panera, not far from where she lives.

Rejection Is a Part of the Online Dating Experience

He texts several times a day, every day. He doesn’t call, but there are plenty of texts. It’s been three, four, five, six days. They’re getting to know one another. Through text, something Nancy never imagined.

Then one day he doesn’t text. Nothing the next day, or the next. Nancy knows that virus isn’t going around much anymore, and anyway he doesn’t have a virus.

This time Nancy is angry and frustrated.

This is the nature of the online dating beast. Crappy behavior has landed in Nancy’s lap.

Even so, the online dating gods are sending Nancy a message. The message? Don’t take it personally.

Taking online dating personally hobbles your energy and enthusiasm, and you need all your umpf because, even if you have a helmet, online dating is tough.

Getting your feelings hurt over a stranger’s behavior keeps you from moving forward. I have friends who’ve given up. It’s fine to stop, of course, everyone needs a break. Make it your choice, though.

Still frustrated and confused? Well, there is something you can do.

You can’t prevent ghosting or back burnering (he’s not asking to meet) or plain crummy behavior, but you can minimize the damage to your too-tender psyche.

• Instead of getting stuck in Email Land, (or the texting Black Hole), politely request to meet after two or three emails. You’ll either click, or you won’t. Move on if you don’t.
• Avoid analyzing the whys of rejection and bad behavior. You don’t know his back story and you never will. Move on.
• If he’s full of excuses for not meeting you, click on another profile. You’re on a dating site to go on a date, not to develop an email-pal relationship.
• Expectations are excess baggage you don’t need to drag to a first online meet. Approach the online dating process with the spirit of having fun, rather than an agenda.
• Go get that helmet I mentioned earlier. I’m not kidding.

Online dating rules are different from the dating etiquette most of us grew up with and practiced. Accept this as fact.

Armed with your new (metaphorical) helmet, go online, date, and give yourself credit for it. You’ll have stories, and your friends will want to hear all about your adventures.

How do you handle online rejection knowing it’s a part of online dating? How do you handle someone who wants to email forever, never mentioning meeting? “Online dating is tough, get a helmet,” do you agree? Please share your ideas and experiences right here.

Kelsey Weier’s Ribbed Shimmer Sweater During Hometowns

The Bachelor Season 24 Episode 8 Fashion

Considering we know she has a habit of making a mess, Kelsey Weier’s ribbed shimmer sweater during her hometown date on last night’s episode of The Bachelor probably wasn’t the right choice to be making/drinking red wine in. Which is why we highly recommend that the next time she wear it it’s paired with some sparkling champagne and that the bottle pop is videotaped for our pleasure. 

Fashionably,

Faryn

Click Here to Shop Her Vince Sweater in Cream or Navy

Click Here to Shop Additional Stock on Sale

Originally posted at: Kelsey Weier’s Ribbed Shimmer Sweater

I recently read that Meghan Markle – now the Duchess of Sussex – usually wears her shoes a size too big. According to one fashion expert, celebs sometimes go up a size or two when they wear heels for a long period of time to avoid swollen feet.

Reportedly, one “trick-of-the-trade is to stuff the toe with padding like tissue or cotton wool, and this can be taken out once they feel they need a bit more room in their shoes.”

But swelling in the feet, ankles and legs – also known as edema or water retention – is also a common problem among us boomers. While many of us may already avoid high heels, we still have to be concerned about swollen feet and ankles.

When we consider that the normal water content in our bodies is between 45 and 55 percent, it’s not at all surprising that this water sometimes pools where it shouldn’t.

As with other aspects of getting older, gravity is not our friend here either since it makes the swelling more noticeable in our lower extremities than it would be, for instance, in our hands.

The Many Causes of Swelling

While there are many things that can make our feet and ankles swell, all of them can be put in to one of three categories.

Everyday Things

The first are things that we do every day – many of which we do without much awareness:

• Sitting or standing too long with or without changing positions.
• Long airplane, or car rides, especially, if we can’t or don’t stretch every now and then.
• Lack of exercise – getting up to walk to the fridge while watching television doesn’t count.
• Hot, humid weather.
• Footwear, including socks, that are too tight.
• Eating too much salty food or adding too much salt to our food.
• Not getting enough nutrients because of poor eating habits.

Medications

Second, there are more than 1,000 different medications that can cause swelling or worsen any swelling we may already have. Some of the more common ones are:

• Calcium channel blockers, such as verapamil and felodipine, used to treat high blood pressure.
• Non-steroidal anti-inflammatory agents (NSAIDs), such as ibuprofen.
• Some diabetes medications such as thiazolidines (for example, Avandia or Actos).
• Antidepressants, including MAO inhibitors and tricyclics.
• Steroids used to treat a variety of inflammatory conditions.
• Hormones such as those in Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT).
• Narcotics such as those in pain medications.
• Chemotherapy medications.

Physical Conditions

Third, various physical conditions and diseases can also cause or make swelling worse. At last count, there were over 100, including:

• Heart, liver or kidney problems
• Obesity
• Infections
• Poor circulation in your lower extremities
• Surgery
• Burns (even sun burn if it is severe enough)
• Extracellular water
• Gout
• Insect bites

What We Can Do When We Have Swelling

Independent of what is causing our swelling, there are things we can to reduce it and make ourselves more comfortable. These include:

• Exercising our legs by taking a walk, doing some stretches or knee bends.
• Putting our legs up on a pillow or ottoman.
• Getting a few pairs of support stockings – and wearing them!
• Checking to see how much salt we are eating (read the sodium content of foods) and try to stay below 1,500 mg of sodium a day.
• Getting up and moving around on a plane, or at least doing some isometric exercises, which are usually described in the inflight magazine.
• Losing weight if we need to.
• Trying not to wear tight, constricting socks, pants or shoes.
• Talking with our doctor or pharmacist about any medications we are taking that may cause swelling.
• Drinking plenty of water – though it sounds counterintuitive, staying hydrated actually reduces water retention and swelling.

Be Proactive

While knowing how to treat our swelling is important, it’s even more important to try to get to its root cause so that we can take steps to prevent it rather than just treating its symptoms.

A good first step is talking with our doctor about having our mineral and other nutrient levels checked since any imbalance could trigger or exacerbate water retention and swelling.

Visit Our Doctor

We should also make an appointment to see our doctor as soon as possible if:

• Our swelling is getting worse or is not going away after trying home remedies.
• We are running a temperature, or the swollen areas are red and warm when we touch them.
• We have heart, kidney or liver disease and we start to have swelling.

Go to the ER

And if we have any of the following symptoms, we should get immediate medical attention at the nearest emergency room:

• Swelling in only one leg
• Dizziness, confusion or feeling faint or lightheaded
• Trouble breathing or shortness of breath
• Pain, pressure or tightness in our chest area

While swelling is something most of us need to contend with as boomers, there is a lot we can do to minimize its impact on the quality of our lives. But just remember that while most swelling may be a minor annoyance, it also can signal other health issues. So be sure to get medical help when indicated.

What is your experience with swollen ankles? How often do you have them? What home remedies have worked for you and which haven’t? Have you ever spoken with your health care provider about it? What did they say? Tell us about it. Please join the conversation.