The other day, I innocently asked my grandson what he would like for his upcoming ninth birthday. He thought for a moment, then gazed intently into my eyes and answered explicitly, “No books, Nana. And nothing you knitted.”

If I had been confronted by his blatant honesty last week, I don’t think I would have had the same lighthearted reaction.

Have you ever been in a deep funk where suddenly everything looked dark, foreboding and hopeless? I call this sudden turn of darkness “going down the rabbit hole.” And I went there seven days ago.

Sure, there were real frustrations:

• The scale was heading north again; my beloved white jeans felt tighter and tighter.
• I was spending more money than my income could bear.
• I had career-related deadlines, setbacks, obstacles and challenges that were beginning to seem insurmountable.
• And I was tired. So very tired.

Down the rabbit hole I tumbled. Isolating myself from family and friends. Viewing every situation and scenario in the most negative light possible.

Things Could Always Be Worse

Yes, I know things can always be worse. My favorite waitress’s mom is dying of a brain tumor at age fifty-two. A high school crony is on dialysis three times a week and has just had four fingers on his right hand amputated due to his diabetic condition. My mother’s long-time friend has just lost her 25-year-old grandson to a drug overdose.

But I’m allowed to wallow in my own “petty” misery, right? I’m allowed a few bad days in a funk? Even if my misery is less than their misery?

Here are three ways to climb out of the rabbit hole.

Perfect the Art of Gratitude

The lack of gratitude causes an over-inflated sense of entitlement, a de-sensitizing to small material pleasures and an inability to be sated. Practicing the art of gratitude is the gateway to seeing our world differently – we reawaken to the pleasures in our lives that are already in place.

I marvel at my orchid’s new bud. I savor my first sip of morning coffee. I drink in my husband’s handsome chiseled profile while he sleeps beside me.

On my climb out of the rabbit hole, I stop focusing on the deficits. I free myself from eagle-eyeing and stock-piling every aggravation, annoyance and slight directed my way; from over personalizing; and from utter self-absorption.

“Gratitude,” says Timothy Miller in How to Want What You Have, “is the intention to count your blessings while avoiding the belief that you need or deserve different circumstances.”

Seek Out the Humorous

Continually looking for the humor in the daily routine of our lives helps us weather instability and change. Finding the lighthearted edge reduces stress and aids us in concentrating less on our disappointments, frustrations and woes.

A sense of humor helps us deal with obstacles, road blocks and bumps in the road. It facilitates our evolving and finding a comfortable place for ourselves. Also, it keeps us out of the rabbit hole.

Try these jokes:

A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money, so I woke up and searched with him.

Kids today don’t know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk nine feet through shag carpeting to change the TV channel.

A recent study found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.

Feel better?

Keep Things in Perspective

When storm clouds appear on your horizon, how do you cope? I cope by keeping things in perspective. I recently wrote a column on the difficulty of seeing a child off to college. Or pre-school. Or Kindergarten.

My column could easily apply to watching an adult child move far away to a new city. It could apply to watching an adult child or a grandchild embrace a way of life that seems disjointed and foreign. My column could apply when we experience a lack of open and honest communication with our offspring.

It is normal that feelings of loss, anxiety and disappointment can pull us down, but keeping things in perspective will ultimately be the grease that makes climbing out of the rabbit hole easier, quicker and less arduous. It’s all about perspective.

What do you do to get out of a funk? Pretend you are sitting with your best friend at her kitchen table, chatting away about how to stay out of a funk or get out of one, and how to keep things in proper perspective. Please dig deep in your toolbox and share your wisdom below.

Leah McSweeney’s Black Lace Bodysuit on RHONY

Season 12 Real Housewives of New York Fashion

Based on what we’ve seen so far from the upcoming season it appears as though Real Housewives of New York newbie Leah McSweeney picks up where Carole Radziwill left off with a serious penchant for lace bodysuits. And although her black one here is sold out, no worries because we’ve included some Style Stealers down below that are still perfect for your next girls night out in on FaceTime.

Fashionably,

Faryn

Click Here to See Her Sold Out Bardot Bodysuit

Photo: BravoTV.com

Originally posted at: Leah McSweeney’s Black Lace Bodysuit

Dorit Kemsley’s Black Sweatshirt on Tik Tok

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Instagram Fashion

This weekend Dorit Kemsley and co jumped on the Tik Tok bandwagon, and I’m super thankful because it’s a great way for us here at BBH see what our favorite fashionistas are wearing at home. In fact, Dorit’s new account mayyyyy have just been the highlight of my weekend in the most literal sense. And in this case it also provided me the opportunity to see PK dance, which really almost stole the show from DK’s oversized hoodie. Almost.

The Realest Housewife,

Big Blonde Hair

Click Here to See Her Off-White Sweatshirt

Click Here to See their Tik Tok

Originally posted at: Dorit Kemsley’s Black Sweatshirt

There’s nothing quite as embarrassing as falling ungracefully to the ground. It’s one of the signs of aging that we’d like to ignore and deny but there is hope. Please join us in conversation with Dr. Leslie Kernisan, a geriatrician who shares tips on maintaining balance as we age. Enjoy the show!

Balance and the potential of falling are two great concerns for women over the age of 60. And once you have fallen, you are twice as likely to fall again.

Are You at Risk for a Fall?

If you have never fallen and never feel unsteady on your feet, then exercises like Yoga and Thai Chi that will strengthen your legs and improve your balance are wonderful preventative measures to take.

However, if you have experienced a fall, there are a few steps you should take.

First, you should speak to your doctor about the medications you are taking. Second, you should work on building up your leg strength. And third, you should have your vision checked.

Ask for a Review of Your Medications

It is not uncommon for medications to make patients slightly off-balance, even if they seem to feel fine. Sedatives and sleeping aids may feel like they have worn off by morning, but they can still affect your balance the next day.

Anti-depressants and anti-cholinergics can also have this effect.

Sometimes medication can be changed, dropped, or adjusted to a better dosage to improve balance and decrease your risk of falls. It’s important to ask your doctor to review your list of medications to see if there’s a chance this is the reason for the fall you’ve experienced.

Doctors are usually incredibly busy and may not always be aware of the side effects of some medications so it’s important to be pro-active and do your homework before you make your appointment. Dr. Kernisan has a list of medications that may contribute to falls along with other great resources and checklists on her website. Print these off and bring them with you to your appointment to review with your doctor.

Focus on Exercise

The next best thing you can do for yourself is to focus on exercise. Building strength, endurance, flexibility, and balance is an excellent way to prevent falls. Building lower leg strength and balance are particularly important.

A program called Otaga was created by a physical therapist and it focuses on assessing a patient’s ability to balance well and then creating exercises that will improve their balance over time. It is important to participate in exercises that are specifically designed to help you improve your balance while building strength in your lower legs to prevent falls.

Understanding Your Risk of a Fall

Dr. Kernisan knows a great deal of information on preventing falls in aging adults. She also suggests having your bone density tested, practicing balance exercises, checking your blood pressure and medications, and staying hydrated.

Knowing your bone density can be extremely helpful, not in preventing falls but in preventing the damage caused by a fall. If your bone density is low there are things you can do to increase it so that if you should fall, you possibly can do so without breaking a bone, decreasing the time and pain level of your recovery.

Have you ever fallen? Did you tell your doctor or a family member? Have you ever had your balance or bone density tested? Do you do any exercises to increase balance and lower leg strength? Join in the conversation!