Kyle Richards’ Black Bow Dress on Instagram

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Instagram Fashion 2020

Between the oversized shoulder bow and sleek one-shoulder style, Kyle Richards’ black bow dress by a Real Housewives of Beverly Hills-beloved designer (nope, not Alexandre Vauthier) that she wore to a gala over the weekend was super chic. Now if only Bravo could present us with the gift of the RHOBH Season 10 trailer wrapped up in a pretty bow right now as well, that would be really great.

Faryn

Click Here to Shop Her Alex Perry Dress

Photo & Info: @KyleRichards18

Originally posted at: Kyle Richards’ Black Bow Dress

In today’s media obsessed culture, we are constantly bombarded by images of women who have more than us. We are told, either directly or subliminally, that these other people are more beautiful, intelligent, interesting or happier than us.

Of course, this is an illusion. We only see the side of celebrities that someone else wants us to see. And, usually, this “someone else” is trying to sell us something.

As Social Animals, We Want to Compare Ourselves to Others

This is natural. But, as we have discussed before, just because something comes naturally does not mean that it will make us happy. If we want to be more positive, we must learn to turn our gaze inward and compare ourselves to the only person that counts – ourselves.

Have you ever felt discouraged that you cannot live up to the expectations of others? Perhaps you long ago learned to stop comparing yourself to celebrities. But, how about your friends, family and acquaintances? How do you define success in your life?

Comparing Ourselves to Others is Not Only Unproductive, it is Unfair

Why? Because the people that we compare ourselves to are just an illusion. On the surface, they look calm, but, underneath they have the same concerns, worries and insecurities as the rest of us. In the case of celebrities, the gap between perception and reality is even wider.

In fact, celebrities often struggle with the contradiction between how they are supposed to look and act and how they really feel. Because they are always in the spotlight, they often have moments of despair that the rest of us cannot even imagine.

Comparing Yourself to Others is a Waste of Time

Isn’t it time to start measuring our lives against our own goals, passions and timelines? Have you ever thought that someone you knew had a “perfect life” only to find out that they were hiding their problems from the world? Who do you compare yourself to today?

Like so many aspects of happiness, learning to stop comparing ourselves to others is a conscious process. It does not come naturally. The good news is that, with a little practice, every single one of us can learn to be the measure of our own lives. Let’s explore a few ways to make this happen.

Focus on What You Can Control

Letting go of external comparisons is easier when we focus own internal goals, passions and plans. Becoming the measure of your own life is a long process, but, it starts with some very simple questions. What are you passionate about? This is a difficult question for many people. But, it is an essential question from the perspective of happiness.

Some of us have lived in the shadow of other people’s expectations for so long that we have forgotten what we really care about. What are you good at? Since we are abandoning external comparisons, it might be easier to think about this question in terms of what you love to do.

What do you want to accomplish? This question is important because if gives direction and form to our passions. Happiness comes naturally when we accomplish something that is important to us.

As you develop our own internal passions and goals, learn to recognize when you start to slip back into external comparisons. If you believe what you see on TV, there are probably only 30 women in the world over 60 years old who can be described as “beautiful”, “sexy” and “vibrant” older women.

Be an active media consumer. Most of the time, external comparisons are sales pitches in disguise. So, ask yourself, “What is this person trying to sell me?” Sometimes it won’t be a product, per say. Politicians, friends and family are also sources of external comparisons.

Let’s take a look at one comparison that most women encounter – “anti-aging”. Every year, women over 60 spend billions of dollars on anti-aging creams and treatments. Anti-aging products are based on external comparisons. They say that if we look younger, we will feel better.

In reality, the opposite is true. We feel better, when we reject external comparisons and focus on our passions. Of course, there is nothing wrong with wanting to feel beautiful. But, we should do so on our own terms.

What are you passionate about? What are you good at? What do you want to accomplish? At the end of the day, these are the only questions that really count when it comes to happiness.

None of these questions requires us to compare ourselves to others. On the contrary, they ask us to look inside ourselves and discover our own values and dreams. When we are ready to be the measure of our own lives, we are ready to be happy.

Take Action to Find Happiness and Positivity in Life After 60

Write down one thing that you are passionate about and one thing that you want to learn this year. Now write down one action that you will take today to accomplish each.

What unfair comparison do you think hurts women our age the most? What is the thing that you love most about yourself? Please join the conversation.

There is
so much to life and health at any age. It’s not just about our weight or diet
or exercise routine. We are much more complex and deeper than that. Staying
healthy is broad and deep. Since I am intentionally making my ThirdThird (ages 60–90) the BEST Third of my life, I think about how to stay healthy.

Emotionally Healthy

I see in
google that, “People who are emotionally
healthy are in control of their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
They are able to cope with life’s challenges. They can keep problems in
perspective and bounce back from setbacks.”

I think that is not a bad description. In my late 60s, I find
that I am able to put problems in perspective since I lived through a lot of
challenges. Setbacks are not devastating as I’ve made it through plenty of
them. I’ve had lots of practice controlling myself, so that, too, is not a huge
challenge.

But it still needs to be a conscious decision to stay
emotionally healthy. Sharing my burden is healthy… with a trusted and empathetic
friend. Journaling to get my real feelings on paper is cathartic. Going on long
walks alone gives me balance and time to process. Emotional health takes work. It
is worth the effort.

Physically Healthy

No way
around it. To stay fit physically, you have to move. Daily. It takes commitment
and resolve. But it is worth it if staying mobile and independent is a goal.

Finding
the activity that will get done regularly is the biggest hurdle. My husband
runs and I thought that sounded fun… until I tried it. Not for me. Walking is
my preferred pace.

I like
classes like yoga. Lately, I’ve had a partner to work out with. She is younger
and more fit than me. We have fun conversations and keep up on each other’s
lives by meeting three times a week to work on balance and core strength. If
one of us is unable, there is complete grace to miss. The commitment keeps us
regular, even if we miss a day or two.

Mentally/Intellectually Healthy

I have a client
who says her mother is “of an age that she is not good with technology.” Hmmm. The
woman is several years my junior. Her mother retired and now does very little
outside of her own home. From my perspective, she is missing out on so much!

If staying
mentally and intellectually healthy is a goal, it doesn’t have to take much in
terms of time or money. Sure, you can take a class or enroll back in school
(good ideas for many), but it can also be as simple as keeping a crossword
puzzle book in the bathroom or finding a podcast to listen to that will spark
your curiosity.

Jigsaw
puzzles, magazines, blogs, etc. all
can give you something to talk about when you have lunch with your friends. Stay
curious by checking Google.com if you don’t know what something means or how to
find something.

Spiritually Healthy

There is deep,
spiritual, soulful part in each of us. Nourishing that spirit part is the key
to staying healthy in all other realms. I have my own persuasion of spiritual
belief that is solid and gives me peace.

And I have
grown into an understanding that spirituality is personal and has many shades
of color… definitely not as black and white as I was taught for many years. To
continue searching and learning spiritually keeps me emotionally and mentally
healthy as well.

Spiritual
health takes some time. Quiet time. Reading time. Thoughtful time. Alone time. Time
that will have to be intentionally set aside to stay healthy.

Socially Healthy

In virtually every list I have read
or heard on staying fit and active in the ThirdThird
(ages 60-90), having good relationships is right up there in the top three
most important. Lunch connections or coffee dates don’t happen without a bit of
planning since my schedule is less “set” than it once was, so I have to think
about this.

Volunteering is a great way to be
socially healthy, I find. I have met a number of really interesting people over
the past two years as a result of running a Food as Medicine program at a local
community health center. One or two of those people are now friends I seek out
at other times.

Hosting a breeding Mom for Leader Dogs for the Blind is broadening me socially. All of a
sudden, I can talk “dog” and have a new conversation topic.

To be intentional social, I am
planning a few “conversation events.” A few friends, a general topic,
interesting conversation. No big event for entertainment, but hospitality with
a purpose.

Staying healthy is not going to
happen by chance. It will take a decision to make it a priority and then will
take determination to keep it going. It is many-faceted and worth working on.

What are you doing to stay healthy
in all aspects of your person? How do you stay fit and active into your 60s and
beyond? Please share any tips that you have found helpful in your aging well
journey.

Kelsey Weier’s Dress on the Women Tell All

The Bachelor Season 24 Episode 10 Fashion

Considering her occupation is a “professional clothier” (which may just be a fancy word for stylist, we’re still not sure), it’s no surprise that Kelsey Weier has been bringing us some serious housewives-level designer lewks all season long. And she’s definitely not stopping at the Women Tell All by showing up to the stage in this red ruched dress, which we of course tracked down because we take our jobs as professional clothier clothing finders very seriously.* 

Fashionably,

Faryn

* If you want to reward us with a giant bottle of champagne we wouldn’t say no.

Click Here to Shop Her Alice + Olivia Dress

Click Here to Shop Additional Stock

Click Here to Shop it in Black

The Bachelor: The Women Tell All Airs MONDAY, MARCH 2 (8:00-10:00 p.m. EST), on ABC. (ABC/Kelsey McNeal)

Originally posted at: Kelsey Weier’s Dress on the Women Tell All