Dr. Sanjay Guptasays,“The act of experiencing something new – or even doing something that’s typical for you, but in a different way – can all generate these new brain cells.”

In Gupta’s recent book, Keep Sharp: Build a Better Brain at Any Age, he maintains that your ability to process, understand, and apply knowledge “can actually get sharper, can get better as you get older… It is sort of the use it or lose it phenomenon when it comes to the brain.”

He maintains that new and different activities stimulate your brain – much more than repeating the same things over again. Gupta is a practicing neurosurgeon and associate professor of medicine at Emory University School of Medicine. He’s also CNN’s chief medical correspondent.

I’m following this advice as I write poetry now – a relatively new skill for me. Plus, I love the new emphasis on poetry that National Youth Poet Laureate Amanda Gorman provided. She became an overnight sensation after her performance at President Joe Biden’s inauguration and during her presentation at the Super Bowl.

How I Started Writing Poems

A couple of years ago, I began penning poetry. My life was moving in new directions, and I wanted to express myself differently than with the prose style approach I mainly used before. I enjoyed reading poetry, so I decided to try writing poems, myself.

I enrolled in a local college lifelong-learning course focused on “enjoying and writing poetry.” Taught by a former high-school English teacher, those classes for novice poets helped me to start composing verses.

There I learned about different poetic devices to express my ideas and emotions through sound, rhythm, rhyming, repetition, comparisons, exaggeration, imagery, alliteration, allusion, personification, and consonance.

We practiced several poetic styles including free verse, ballads, sonnets, haiku, acrostics, shape poems, list poems, and rhupunts (a Welsh verse form with rigid rules). This all certainly benefited my cognitive health, as I stretched my brain. Excellent side effect!

I’ve continued with several poetry classes, including free online courses. More recently I joined a virtual live-stream poetry reading gathering. I look forward to when I can attend in-person poetry readings at bookstores and café open mic nights after the pandemic subsides.

Indeed, I authored several poems with change as a theme over this past year. That helped me manage shifts in my Covid-19 lifestyle, focusing on what matters most.

A Sample Poem

Below are two poems I wrote in a simple haiku style, each with just three lines. Although there are different ways to write a haiku, generally the first line has five syllables. Second line adds seven syllables. The final line has five. There’s no special rhyming scheme involved. It’s a fun, quick way to create a poem. I encourage you to try writing a poem, using this easy haiku style.

Tips for Writing a Poem

• What encourages you to draft a poem? Maybe something about a family member? Or a pet? Could be a focus on your hobby. Might be a memory from the past. Could be a poem about a grandchild or other relative. Might be an event evoking strong emotions, such as the death of a friend.
• After writing your poem, read it out loud. That’s different than saying it in your head. This may provide insight about the language you like.
• Revise your poem. Once you write your first draft, let it cool off for a while. When you return to it later, you may change a word or a phrase.
• Pair a picture with your poem if this adds to the meaning of your verse.
• Write regularly. Early in the morning is best for me, but your preferred time may be later in the day. I set an intention of completing two or more poems monthly.
• Start an idea file for future poems you might write.
• Craft a birthday poem or holiday card for a relative or friend. They’ll feel special that you wrote a poem just for them rather than purchasing a store-bought card.
• Print and frame one of your poems. Put this on a special wall as a piece of art, which it is.
• Read other poets. Here’s a free online service from the Poetry Foundation’s Poem of the Day.
• Think of your poems as part of your legacy. Here’s a brief video highlighting some of my legacy poems and stories.

How have you challenged your brain lately? Have you tried writing poems? Do you think you can make poetry part of your legacy? Please share your thoughts – and poems! – below.

Finding love after 60 is a major topic of discussion and curiosity for women in the Sixty and Me community – and with good reason. Many women over 60 are embarking on a new stage of life with different relationship statuses than were common in our parents’ era. Some women are recently divorced. Others became widows or simply chose to never marry in the first place.

This leaves many women wondering whether it is worth re-entering the dating world and looking for the best way to go about finding love after 60.

When I asked women in our Sixty and Me community: Can we be loved again? Is finding love after 60 possible? The feedback was always enlightening.

Here are a few of the main points on the minds of women who are grappling with the challenges and opportunities of finding love after 60:

Finding Love after 60 Starts with Loving Yourself

Many women in their 60s have been hurt, divorced, or widowed. Going through the dissolution of a marriage or a disappointing romantic relationship can often feel intensely painful. Many women over 60 are learning how to re-engage with their sense of self-worth and self-love.

Some women said that they could not imagine being loved again. Others shared that they had tried dating, but none of their relationships had worked out. So they have started focusing on their own interests, activities, and families, regardless of whether they can find “the right man.”

Trust Is an Essential Ingredient of Love – Now More than Ever

Many women our age are having a hard time trusting men – whether due to a painful divorce or a series of disappointing dating experiences. Many women over 60 find that their sense of confidence is broken and feel disillusioned by men and marriage.

A few women mentioned that many men our age are emotionally damaged, and others find that they no longer trust men’s motives. Others said that the longer you are single, the harder it becomes to fall in love. You get set in your ways and are no longer willing to make yourself vulnerable in the ways that dating requires, or be open to a new serious romantic relationship.

Women Over 60 Value their Independence

Many women our age might have had marriages where the man was “in charge” and where we might have felt we were making our own interests and needs subservient to his. Some women commented that they aren’t even looking, because they don’t want to have to take care of a man and would rather just take care of themselves.

Other women said that even though they realize that they do not “need” a man to make them happy, they would like to find someone to share their lives with.

Love Has New Meaning for Women Over 60

One challenge of dating over 60 is that the whole concept of romantic relationships has a different meaning at this stage of life. When the traditional roles have gone away, women over 60 are looking for different things in a man than we might have wanted when we were in our 20s, 30s, or 40s.

Most women our age are interested in finding a man who shares mutual interests, common dreams, and a common worldview. We want to be appreciated and have someone with whom to share adventures and laughter.

We are no longer looking for a relationship with the goal of having children and building a “home” together. Dating over 60 is often more about having fun and finding a partnership of equals. This can be positive or negative depending on what you want from a relationship.

Some women enjoy the fun of meeting new people and going on casual dates, while others might find casual dating to be lonely or disappointing.

Some women might distrust the motives of men who have been divorced multiple times, or who seem needy or inattentive. There are definitely many good men out there, and hopefully, women over 60 can get what they need out of their dating relationships. The foundation is trust, healthy relationship boundaries and habits, and mutual respect.

Love Can be “Found” – or it Finds You

According to our Sixty and Me community, there are many places for women to find love after 60. Many women have had success with online dating if they approach it with a positive attitude.

Other women have met good men at church or in community organizations, or just while out walking in the park. Another option is to simply go to the places you love and do the things you love to do. Any man who shares your interests is likely to be frequenting the same places.

Another idea that is gaining in popularity is to hire a dating coach. According to this article in the New York Times, some matchmakers and dating coaches are now specializing in coaching for people over 60.

If you are willing to invest some time and money in personal sessions with a dating coach, you might find better matches faster. At the same time, you can learn a lot about yourself, your preferences, and your life goals along the way.

Practice a Virtual Flirt with Men from Your Past

Social media has opened wonderful doors for connection, so don’t be afraid to look up a single high school friend and even consider attending your next reunion or class event. Use LinkedIn to casually say hi to interesting men you’ve met at events. You will find out soon enough if they are married or committed, so for now, just be friendly and see what happens.

Let single girlfriends know that you are actively looking for a relationship – maybe they know someone who is perfect for you!

Attend a Meetup and Share Your Passions

Many cities have an organization called Meetup. You can join groups for everything you can possibly imagine including hiking, art, photography, travel, or dining out. They also have events for men and women our age and can be a great opportunity to meet new people, whether you are looking for love or not.

Men Struggle to Find Love after 60 Too

Often the conversation about dating over 60 focuses on the idea that women are at an inherent disadvantage with too many eligible women our age chasing too few good men. While this is true, men our age are often struggling with the same types of worries, doubts, and negative feelings that women might have.

Before your first date, try to understand the psychology of an older man – he is also probably feeling a bit nervous, hesitant, and afraid of rejection. So start a conversation, flirt a little, laugh a lot, and be feminine and fun.

Don’t feel like you have to control the whole date, drive conversation, or make all the plans – try to help him feel competent and comfortable. Dating should not be a power struggle! Be spontaneous and go with the flow.

When I interviewed David Wygant, he pointed out that men want to feel appreciated too. They want to feel desirable and honored. They want to feel you recognize they have something valuable to offer, whether it’s conversation, companionship, or shared interests.

Enjoy each other’s company and try to find something to admire about every man you meet. Even if it’s not a “love connection,” take the attitude that there are plenty of fish in the sea. Here’s my interview with David.

What Do Men Over 60 Really Want?

It’s time to set the record straight. Here’s the deal. Most men do want to be in a relationship with women closer to their age. This is because they share a common history with each other. Most men do try out younger women because they feel appreciated by them, something they don’t always feel from women their own age.

You see, men want to be your hero. It’s literally in their DNA coding to keep you safe, protected, and provided for. They want to make you happy and will do anything within their power to make that happen for you.

Why It’s Important to Make a Man Your Hero

Making a man your hero is the secret to getting his cooperation easily. These two phrases will bring out the hero response in a man. They work very well when you need him to do something for you.

Phrase #1 is “I need your help…” then ask for what you need.

Phrase #2 is “Could you do me a favor…” then ask for what you need.

When I’ve used these phrases, I’ve had men tell me they love helping a woman who needs their help. Try it. It will make a huge difference with the men in your life.

Despite the Challenges, Women Over 60 Haven’t Given up on Love

Perhaps the most encouraging sign from our Sixty and Me community is that the vast majority of women over 60 seem to be optimistic about the prospect for love in their lives. This can take the form of a marriage, a committed relationship, or just walking down the street holding hands with someone special.

Love can be part of your life at any age. Hopefully, we all can be brave, confident, and open to possibilities, and willing to take a chance on letting love into our hearts once more.

What are your feelings on finding love after 60? Is it possible? Is it too hard? Are there any aspects of dating over 60 that you’ve found to be surprisingly fun and enjoyable? Please leave a comment below.

Kristin Cavallari’s White Twisted Cropped Sweater on Instagram

Kristin Cavallari 2021 Instagram Fashion

 While the rest maybe still Unwritten, there is one thing that is written. Spoiler alert- it’s this post about Kristin Cavallari’s white twisted cropped sweater. It’s been a hot minute since we’ve gotten to see KCav on our screens (well TV screens anyway… ) so this little teaser photo from the upcoming season of The Hills has me pretty pumped. Almost as pumped as I will be after releasing my inhibitions and purchasing a Style Stealer of this very cute sweater.

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

Click Here To Shop Her Jacquemus Le Gilet Noué White Twisted Sweater

Click Here To Shop It in Brown

Photo: @enews

Originally posted at: Kristin Cavallari’s White Twisted Cropped Sweater

As Baby Boomers grow older and start moving to smaller dwellings, their children are faced with a dilemma – parents’ possessions.

Furniture, keepsakes and heirlooms that parents want to pass on are often not wanted by the younger generation. What do you do with all the ‘stuff,’ and how do you approach the subject?

Here are some things to do.

Dive Right In

The key to all things in the aging space is to have discussions earlier. When looking at possessions, consider that people hold on to things for three reasons – sentimental value, utility, aesthetics. Understanding that helps.

My mother-in-law passed on January 5, but we knew she had limited time. A year ago, my wife started spending more time with her and gently and kindly going through and asking about her things.

Over the course of the year, it was pretty much worked out where things would go. In fact, in the course of four days after Christmas, we emptied her apartment, furnished her assisted living and distributed other items as planned and discussed.

While you can document where you would like things to go in a will, it makes much more sense to work it out earlier with the help of your closest people.

This, through repeated and gentle conversations, helps parents realistically understand that their kids often do not want those old possessions. They probably went through the same thing with their parents.

Get Siblings on Board

For me, when mom passed in 2016, my sister had already passed and we downsized mom several times so there was little issue.

My wife has three other siblings; frankly, one more in need than the others. What they wanted most was some kind of keepsake to remember their mom. My wife wanted the Lenox Christmas plates, mainly because most were given to her mom by us.

It does not go that smooth for all families, however. So, the sooner siblings talk, the better, and that can inform the conversations you have with mom and dad.

I had a friend whose sister called him one day and told him she was at their mom’s place. She informed him she was cleaning the place out and taking what was rightfully hers!

Get on board. Your executor will thank you. Also, know the pitfalls that are coming.

No Children, No Problem

It’s important to designate where you want things to go. Maybe there are no children but there are nieces and nephews.

If not, you may need help and want to consider using the services of a senior move manager. They help you organize and downsize your possessions for either staying in your home or preparing to move to, say, an assisted living facility.

The beauty in this is that any one of us can start this process on their own. There is a book called The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. It advocates an all-at-once, ‘aim for perfection’ kind of decluttering.

Start one room at a time. Why, for example, do I have four six-quart pots in my kitchen? My wife and I go room to room through our house once a year. We know we have too much stuff and that our kids don’t want it and don’t want to deal with it.

Sudden change – even for good – is like surgery. You can cut quickly, but recovery can be very painful. So, again, start early, and work at it over time.

Seven Ways to Let Go

• Start the decluttering process earlier in life and make it a habit.
• Work with your children to see what they truly want and what would be donated.
• Determine what you would need if you were to move into a smaller place.
• Putting things in self-storage only postpones the inevitable.
• Sell things online, in a garage sale, etc.
• Donate to charity. But be aware that even they are becoming overwhelmed with furniture they can’t use or sell.
• Deal with sentimental items that absolutely can’t be kept or given away. Take a picture of them and write a short description of what they are and the story behind them. Store it in cloud services like Digital Life Cloud and others.

How about you? How are you dealing with mom and dad’s ‘stuff’ – and yours? Are you on top of your downsizing project, or is it overwhelming you?

Stephanie Hollman’s Beige Turtleneck Sweater on Instagram

Real Housewives of Dallas 2021 Instagram Fashion

Stephanie Hollman’s beige turtleneck sweater is probably coming in handy for this Winter Storm that has hit TX and half of America. I thought I moved to Texas for the non-winter winters, but I was clearly mistaken. Literally, last week I was shopping for summer clothes and now I’m back to wanting all things winter. For example, this turtleneck because it’s super cute on it’s own or layered (with many many layers). But Steph’s post also reminded me that no matter what the weather always bring your own sunshine. So here I am warming myself up with many turtlenecks and glasses of wine my own .

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

Click Here To Shop Her Michelle Mason Beige Turtleneck

Photo: @stephhollman

Originally posted at: Stephanie Hollman’s Beige Turtleneck Sweater