I read an article by a fellow Silver Sister recently which troubled me a bit, and I want to respond in what I hope to be a genuinely caring and responsible way.

The article spoke to a truth for this person, and clearly a few others, that as we age, we slow down. We deteriorate. We get tired more easily, as we’ve lost our resilience.

Kindly, while I don’t argue that Covid has not been a friend to many if not most of us, and we didn’t exactly sign up happily to sit out most of the last year hiding out in quarantine right when a good many of us (my hand is up here) had trips planned, I do argue the tenor of the article. For while it may well be very true that you and I feel weary at times, there is a great deal we can and could do about it.

The author’s comments are her opinion. They are not facts. For the research speaks volumes otherwise. I honor the author’s opinion, but I prefer to lean on the facts. In this case, the facts speak to great hope and possibility for a vivid life despite our age.

I write a lot about fitness after 50, as do many of my fellow Sixty and Me contributors. To a person, I guarantee you that they would likely categorically disagree that age=deterioration, and that there isn’t much we can do about it.

In fact, age, loss, growth, and the many demands of a long life are precisely what give us resilience. Many of us have made it through wars, bad marriages (which are often one and the same), kids, loss of parents, some lost their kids, many of us lost our health and regained it (same as pounds, but that’s another story) and are now in our later years, stronger than ever.

In fact, many of us might argue pretty strenuously that one of the greatest gifts of age is in fact resilience, the kind that ONLY age and experience can grant us. In this regard, youth is incredibly brittle. By our 60s, we have a far better idea about what really matters in life.

About Being Tired. Let’s Talk.

What you and I might experience as being tired quite often has to do with two things, both of which you and I have a great of influence over, should we decide to do the work:

#1 Our attitudes and beliefs about aging, which can do us far more damage than age itself, and

#2 Self-care, which includes the right kind of exercise FOR US, the right kinds of food FOR US and even more importantly, people around us who lift us up, cheer us up, and do not let us stay down.

In this widely-quoted and very powerful study by Professor Becca Levy, Division of Social and Behavioral Sciences, School of Public Health, Yale University, the points that might interest us most are these:

Exposure to negative and positive age stereotypes over time plays a crucial role in whether people develop signs of dementia in their later years.

and

The central message of the theory, and the research supporting it, is that the aging process is, in part, a social construct.

My sports chiro likes to say that age is a mental virus. In this regard he is absolutely right. For as he has aged into his middle years, his athletic performance has actually improved. He runs faster, jumps higher, and can lift much more weight now than he did 30 years ago.

The reasons are simple: he works hard at it, eats carefully, and immerses himself not only in the best of positive thinking but also surrounds himself with people of like mind.

So do I. And so do those who are my closest friends, men and women in their 60s and well beyond. We are none of us Olympic athletes. However, we are positive, energetic, and happy, and our energy stores are endless.

Part of what that takes is being very mindful of food choices, which change as our bodies do. We simply adapt. If we can no longer run, we hike or walk. If we can’t do that, we bike. We adapt, but we keep moving. A lot. That is part of what resilience looks like.

Resilience is as much mental as anything else. When we keep telling ourselves how tired we are, we talk ourselves into being exhausted. The mind is a malleable, plastic thing, immensely powerful. So what we tell it, it likes to reinforce so that we can be right.

If we believe we deteriorate as we age, we do. Just as when we believe that we are strong, energetic, and enthusiastic, we align ourselves to those beliefs. And, happily, prove ourselves right. What do you want to be right about?

The Spring, the Sun, and Shining on

So while I most certainly understand that the last year has left its marks, including perhaps a few unwelcomed additional stretch marks, you and I are alive. Spring is almost here. The sun continues to rise, the moon does too.

What you and I do with the time we have left to us is up to us. For my part, I would prefer to fill it with possibilities, not the terrible weight of losses. For while we have all suffered losses, we are all still full of light, possibility, and gifts to give the world.

The question I have for each of us, including myself, is whether or not we will choose to make ours shine, by taking care of it, or let it gutter out, by giving up?

What are you doing to live your fullest life right now? Or have you decided that you can no longer be resilient? What methods are you using to stay energetic, positive, and engaged? What do you do on the inevitable down days we all have? Let’s talk!

It’s hard to believe that we’re already into the 3^rd month of 2021. I hope your new year is starting out on a foundation of hope and gratitude. If you’re like most people, you probably made some new year’s resolutions – changes you wanted to see in your life.

Research shows it takes around 90 days to forge lasting change, so perhaps by now you’re well on your way to making the habitual lifestyle changes necessary to achieve your goals.

Or – like many people – you may have run into a roadblock or two on your path to change.

Inspiration Whiplash

Sometimes a specific barrier is thrown in your path. Sometimes inspiration gradually fizzles out or just abruptly ends. Have you ever been excited and engaged with a goal and then suddenly awaken one morning with a complete sense of blah, why bother?

No reason really – no obvious explanation for why you went from energized to whatever while you were sleeping. But there you are, complacently doing absolutely nothing or doing something completely counter to your stated goals!

I call that inspiration whiplash! We all have those days (or weeks), so it’s really helpful to be prepared with a few proven strategies to help push you through the tall weeds!

Revisiting Goals

It can be helpful to re-visit your goals. Research shows writing down a goal is an important step in achieving change, so I hope you did! If so, re-read them!

Consider why you wanted the change and how it will impact your life when you achieve it. If you skipped that crucial step, then do it now! Write down what you want to change and why. Then make one small “deposit” that helps you move closer to that goal.

Pages of Inspiration

One of my most often-used strategies is to read a few pages from a tried-and-true inspirational resource. I’ll bet you have a few books on a shelf that leave you feeling inspired and hopeful. Here are a couple of mine:

Simple Abundance – A Daybook of Comfort & Joy by Sarah Ban Breathnach

Given to me in 1995 by a dear friend, this book has daily readings ranging from a few paragraphs to a couple of pages corresponding to each day of the year. It’s perfect for a quick attitude adjustment at the beginning of the day. I have this particular passage highlighted for frequent reading:

The habit of being – the exultation in the present moment – is an exquisite concept. We’re all habitual creatures, but usually we practice the habits of doing: getting up making breakfast, getting children off to school and getting ourselves off to work. Then there are the habits of brooding: projecting into the future, dwelling on the past… second-guessing inspiration, ruminating on problems, anticipating the worst. The habit of brooding is rooted in the past or the future, and can rob the present moment of all harmony, beauty and joy.

It goes on to encourage cultivating the habit of being, which Breathnach defines as a heightened awareness of life’s abundance, and the habit of gratitude for the good surrounding us no matter our circumstances today.

This book continually reminds me not to wait until I’ve achieved specific goals to be happy and grateful – joy is available now!

Everything I Ever Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten by Robert Fulghum

This collection of thoughts and short stories can alternately warm my heart, make me cry, and give me a boost of gratitude for the gifts in ordinary days. Fulghum has numerous books filled with inspiration!

The Slight Edge by Jeff Olsen

This seems more like an “achieve financial success” type of book, but I return to often when I’m feeling unmotivated and having trouble taking those small steps to keep moving forward.

I love Olsen’s concept of life always being in motion – that your choices are either taking you towards or away from your goals – whether you intend it or not. There is no staying the same, even when it seems that way.

It perfectly matches my belief that small daily choices, compounded over time have a profound impact your well-being in all dimensions.

Commit to a Small Change

Finally, when you’re having trouble achieving a goal, commit to one positive action each day. If possible, attach this behavior change to something that is already a habit. For example, I realized that it had become a habit to sit watching the news every night – and it never made me feel uplifted (go figure).

I decided to leverage the convenience of streaming services and found an enjoyable series to watch instead. Then I made watching contingent on being on the elliptical! I now look forward to that transition from work to home and get some physical activity in the bargain.

You Can Do This!

Dust off your goals and pick one small change you can make today, tomorrow, and the next day. Try to attach change to something you already do habitually. Identify a handful of inspirational writings and have them readily available for periodic inspiration re-boots.

If your goals include improving health, my free Vitality Portfolio® Starter Tool-Kit can help support your journey to wellness!

What goals have you achieved so far in 2021? Are there goals that have fizzled out? What’s one thing that could help re-boot goals that matter to you?