Despite my long career in business, I suffered a major case of entrepreneurial amnesia. All the good advice I gave clients during my 35-year business career flew out the window when I started my own business.

If you’re thinking about starting a business in your 60s, let me prevent you from making the same mistakes I did. Because if I had to do it over – I’d do it differently.

Ignore a Written Plan at Your Own Peril

My first mistake was assuming that the decades I’d spent in business and teaching entrepreneurship to college students (and even graduate students) meant I didn’t need a written plan. It was all in my head already.

Wrong. I would have quickly corrected any student who told me they didn’t “need” a plan, but I failed to correct myself. The bullet points that served as my guide were inadequate, and to make matters worse, I consulted it far too infrequently.

As with any trip, to avoid dead ends and wrong ways, it’s far better to have a road map that lays out the route before you begin.

The act of writing a plan forces you to think through most aspects of your business. After the fact, it was clear that I hadn’t fully considered my objectives and how I’d reach them. I needed more than bullet points. I needed a plan.

It’s also much easier to spot red flags in black and white. My lack of plan cost me in both time and money.

Don’t Accelerate Hard

When I saw the elaborate online components of someone in a similar space to mine – online workshops, Facebook groups, workbooks, coaching – my knee-jerk reaction was, “I’ve got to do that, too!”

(Sound of brakes screeching.)

Wrong, again. I’d come out of retirement to start A Healing Spirit, and my life is not the same as it was at 45 or even 55. I don’t want it to be, either. I want some time to breathe and enjoy life. Yet I found myself grinding away at my business 12 or more hours a day.

I learned the importance of scaling my efforts to my age and my lifestyle. I was lucky. At 66, I do not need my business to pay the bills. Instead, it’s a labor of love that I hope will one day be profitable.

But even if you’re not similarly situated, any business after 60 must take into consideration the factors that apply to your life now.

Don’t Undercapitalize

As I told my entrepreneurship grad students repeatedly, most businesses fail because they are undercapitalized. We always underestimate the amount of investment it’s going to take to get a business off the ground. Few consider the need for contingency funds.

Although I offer hypnosis and regression services, which require little overhead at present, I also offer printed products. I wanted them to be beautiful and high-quality pieces, which meant a heavy investment in design and production. It paid off. They are beautiful and high-quality pieces.

Also, because I wanted my products to be affordable, my prices are on the lower end of the scale for products of that high a quality. On some products, I offer free or discounted shipping. So, profit margins are on the low side.

Truth is, the cost of making my products affordable and accessible was far more than I anticipated.

Fortunately, we have been able to fund the business fully at this point. But there were points in my life when that would have not been possible. The risk of undercapitalization can be minimized with a plan that accounts for all possibilities.

Don’t Release Products Prematurely

Even as I produced and printed my products, I began to develop more product ideas before my initial products were established.

Fortunately, I realized soon thereafter that I needed to pull back and let the market catch up with me. Why make the investment in expensive new products immediately?

Never Underestimate the Timeline for ROI

I’m embarrassed to admit this, since I am a seasoned business person, but I started out with an “If you build it, they will come” mentality. I knew the products were helpful and lovely, so why wouldn’t droves of buyers appear immediately?

Every business has a horizon for return on investment, and when you’re young, it looks unlimited. At this age, unlimited is unrealistic.

A wise business friend told me: “You need to relax about your return on investment. Your horizon is longer than you think it is, and that’s ok. It’ll happen.”

Her comment was liberating. When I was honest with myself, I realized that I felt self-imposed pressure to provide a return because I wasn’t single. My husband was also involved, and I didn’t want him to think our investment wouldn’t pay off.

He never pressured me though; I pressured myself. We talked, and like my friend, he told me that he knew it would take time to get ROI and to relax about it.

So, there you have it. I’ve made my share of mistakes with my own business, A Healing Spirit. But I’m a quick learner and swiftly reoriented myself after these mistakes.

Have you started a business in your 60s? What were the main challenges that you faced in starting your own business? If you’re starting a business at this age, (or if you already have) I’d love to hear your thoughts.

I’m late to the online dating party. I joined a grief group after my husband died and over the years it evolved into a bunch of friends with one sad thing in common but a lot of other fun and interesting things to discuss.

They pushed me to try online dating two years ago, after they had all jumped in with varying degrees of success. They thought I needed to “get out there,” too. Reluctantly, I agreed.

Here’s what I learned.

The Mirror Has Two Faces

The more I scrolled and swiped my way through my “matches,” the more I was struck by how old everyone looked. I double-checked the parameters I had set in my profile thinking I must have accidentally checked off the wrong age preferences.

Nope. I was 61 and had selected a reasonable range between 59 and 74 for my potential suitors. That didn’t seem that old, so how could all these kindly-yet-grandfatherly types be on my list?

I checked the mirror. Hmmm. Ok, sure, a few wrinkles here, a few gray hairs there, but come on, I’ve still got it! Right?

Then I read an article in Scientific American that basically said we all think we look better than we actually do. Maybe it’s some kindness the universe bestows on all of us as we age, a harmless bit of cosmic trickery designed to ease the inevitable decline.

Shaken and chastened, I adjusted my bifocals and pressed on.

Don’t Discount the Third Dimension

The best thing about online dating is also the worst thing. It certainly seems like a genius idea: you just “Build-a-Bear” your way to love by picking and choosing from a smorgasbord of desired characteristics: height, body type, preferences for everything from political affiliation to animal companion. What could go wrong?

Turns out, a lot. Online dating sites quite literally put one’s looks front and center. By filtering potential suitors down to my so-called perfect physical match, I almost certainly missed out on some great guys who were kind, funny, and smart. Their only crime was falling below my 5’11” height requirement.

Had I been introduced to one of these men by a friend, or he’d struck up a witty conversation over the tomato bin at Whole Foods, I would never have noticed his height “flaw.” Yet I had swiped left with careless abandon after only so much as a glance in this two-dimensional dating world.

While no one is arguing physical attractiveness is important, flat images on an iPhone screen can’t convey what some call “chemistry.” This mysterious amalgam of personal energy plus intellectual and physical compatibility is only possible to detect fully in person, and very often has little to do with looks.

A sharp wit, a kind soul, and a bright mind can do more to ignite a romance (and sustain it) than a mere handsome face.

Truth be told, if I saw a picture of my late husband on a dating site when he was 61, I might have skipped right past it. And if I had, I would have missed out on one of the great loves of my life. Long live the third dimension.

To Write, or Not to Write

I wasn’t prepared for the awkwardness of the first phone call after spending days, sometimes weeks communicating only by text. If you think about it, when we all started dating, virtually all interactions with a potential partner began in person: at a party, the DMV, that well-meaning set-up by your sister-in-law.

But online dating always starts with the written word. Obviously, writing can be very romantic (where would all the great love stories be without love letters?), and it’s not that we don’t all do some editing in our heads before we speak (at least, we should).

But when we can polish every phrase to perfection before hitting “send” it creates unexpected pressure to be just as witty and erudite on the spot at the first meeting, which can be tough to do when bashfulness or nerves may rule the moment.

I learned to move quickly from texting to a phone call if there was an initial spark, and from there to a casual coffee date without too much time in between. Accelerating the process doesn’t prevent a potential match from fizzling, but if it is a non-starter it’s better to know early so you both can move on to more promising possibilities.

It’s Just Coffee

It’s not a marriage proposal. We all know this, but something about a meet-up at this age feels like the stakes might be just a wee bit higher. And the more pressure we put on ourselves, the more likely we may be to sabotage a first date.

It helps to remember that even though our dating pool might be smaller now (versus when we were in our 20s and everyone was single), it doesn’t mean there isn’t someone great out there. Kissing a lot of frogs has always been a necessary part of the process, and it’s no different in our 60s.

The big difference is our red flag detectors are vastly improved at this stage; we don’t waste a lot of time forcing something to happen that shouldn’t.

All that said, I’m still learning the ropes of online dating. It’s been an interesting journey so far; I’ve met a number of lovely men, and I’ve even had a few butterflies along the way. No love matches yet, but I’m hopeful. See you out there.

Have you tried online dating? How is it going for you? Any online dating hits or misses to share? Please join the conversation!

Ramona Singer’s Zebra Print Sequin Dress at Black Shabbat

Real Housewives of New York Season 13 Episode 14 Fashion

Although Ramona Singer appears to make Eboni’s “Black Shabbat” dinner on tonight’s episode of RHONY all about herself, what it should be about of course is G-d her amazing zebra print sequin dress. Which may be sold out, however you can definitely rest easy knowing there’s some very cute Style Stealers still in stock. 

Fashionably,

Faryn

Click Here to See Her MICHAEL Michael Kors Dress (She removed the belt)

Originally posted at: Ramona Singer’s Zebra Print Sequin Dress

Eboni K. Williams’ FF Logo Dress in Flashbacks

Real Housewives of New York Season 13 Episode 14 Fashion

Eboni K. Williams is definitely providing us with the perfect all ashion inspiration in this flashback scene on tonight’s episode of RHONY with her FF logo dress. I mean, just pair something like this with some black leather boots and you’re guaranteed to look *cking abulous. 

Fashionably,

Faryn

Click Here to Shop Her Fendi Dress

Originally posted at: Eboni K. Williams’ FF Logo Dress

I’m learning each day to look forward to what is coming as I stand where I am today. Being present in my life right here and now has created an appreciation for all that I have and an eagerness for what is yet to come. Every change I make takes me to that new and exciting place.

Take Small Steps

I have been toying with the idea of retirement for several years now, while taking small but significant steps toward that end.

I kept waiting for that grand event when I would know that it was time to finally take the leap. What I realized after turning 60 a couple of years ago, is that it was more of gradual tip-toe than an actual jump.

Fear is a compelling thing, but letting go of all the security and control of what I thought I needed to be happy was very difficult. Most days, it still creeps into my brain, and I feel slightly overwhelmed by the fact that I have chosen to not continue to work full-time.

I remind myself that I do have passive income and have not yet tapped into my retirement savings but something about not reporting to a job at a required time feels like stepping into a great void.

I’ve never been concerned about what I will do with my time when I retire. I have many passions that give me great joy and satisfaction, but I do still worry that I’m being unrealistic about how much money I will need.

Retirement Is Not an All or Nothing Affair

What I must remember is that this is not an all or nothing situation.

If, at any point, I feel like I am financially insolvent or even approaching it, I can simply get a job. I’ve never had a problem finding work, and I don’t believe I ever will. That is the big safety net I have, and if I can keep that in mind, then maybe I will be able to let go of some of my concern.

It is essential that the only work I do now is what makes my heart happy. I believe that should be the minimum criteria for anything I do for the rest of my life.

I know this is not something that is generally accepted. The expectation is that you will work hard for all your life, struggle and sacrifice to get ahead and then fade into the sunset. Anything else is perceived as selfish or irresponsible.

This philosophy doesn’t make sense to me at this stage of my life. I’m very young at heart and I know that I have so much life yet to live, so I am ready to find out what is next for me.

I want to take the time to explore new people, places and things. There will be some things that feel right for me and others that I will just experience and let go.

You Can Make Changes Along the Way

I know it will be fun to experiment and see what fits.

Trusting myself is key – I need to stay aware of how I am feeling so I can make changes whenever necessary. Right now I tend to stay a little too long when I’m not happy and then I start feeling trapped and need to break away.

I know that I have so many options and that this is what the journey is all about. I don’t ever need to go back, I just need to stay focused on the present and let the future unfold.

It is time for me to really break the mold and let myself be outrageous in my exploration of what lies ahead. I’ve always had an adventuresome spirit, and now is the time to really let it shine. I am going to create the life that I want and don’t need to retire from.

What revelations have you discovered after turning 60? Are you looking forward to retirement or is it a concern for you? Please share your stories and join the conversation.