Month: May 2024

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Photo: @camwimberly1

Originally posted at: Cameran Eubanks’ Green Printed Shirt Dress

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Photo + ID: @scheana

Originally posted at: Scheana Shay’s Blue Floral Slip Dress

Photo + ID: @tamrajudge

Originally posted at: Tamra Judge’s Denim Overalls

I love traveling, especially to major cities. When contemplating a trip to an urban area with its requisite museums, sculpture parks, cafes, and rococo/classical/art deco architecture styles, I’m as excited as a dog gets when its owner jingles the car keys. 

And Speaking of Dogs…

I recently bought one. A bougee dog that cost in the four digits (and the first number isn’t 1). We had a hole in our hearts from the departure of our beloved Jozy (hard to use the word death in conjunction with our Jozy). So, we did the only rational thing possible. We bought another labradoodle.

While Jozy was considered large, Rosie is considered mini, meaning her max weight is 35 lb. While Jozy was black, Rosie is apricot. Both females, and yes, I know their names sound like they rhyme but the spellings, as you can see, are different. So, see, very few similarities. 

Owning a Pet Is a Lot Like Owning Children, Full of Paradoxes

And yet… I’m in love again, though different than my love for Jozy which filled my heart for 13 years. This love is five months old and very fulfilling. Owning a pet is a lot like raising children, full of paradoxes. As author/journalist Jennifer Senior wrote in her book, All Joy, and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood, “children are economically worthless and emotionally priceless.”

The same can be said for pets. Friends who have had pet losses hesitate to repopulate their empty nests with new furry friends. “You won’t be able to travel without the hassle of finding a pet sitter and pet sitters are pricey!” They will tear up your furniture and make your 70-plus-year-old skin bleed from their needle-sharp teeth; they will keep you up all night; they’re expensive! The vet bill and bougee dog food alone will cut into your retirement budget.

Yes, yes, and yes. All true.

But, I would argue – worth it.

Values, Priorities, and Goals Shift as You Age into Your 70s

I don’t think I realized how much one’s values, priorities, and goals shift as you age into your 70s. Although I still value travel and varied experiences, I’m realizing I want to stay in a destination longer and delve deeper into the fresh environs.

I want to explore and form deeper relationships within a new neighborhood. I want to use my temporary home base as a launching point for travel to adjacent destinations. Both of my adult children and their families live in Illinois, so it is highly likely our temporary digs will be in either the northern or southern part of the state. 

My Travel Dollars Are Limited

I’ve had a craving to visit Arches, Redwood, Yosemite, Joshua Tree, and Yellowstone national parks. It is easier to explore the west and its requisite national parks from Illinois than Orlando. Plus, I’ll have free dog sitters in the form of kids and grandkids.

Speaking of family, I want to spend more time with people I love instead of those I would only superficially get to know on a 10-day cruise. Now, don’t get me wrong. The thought of a 10-day cruise is intoxicating, and I can feel my blood pressure start to drop just thinking of such a relaxing venture.

Realistically, however, my travel dollars are limited. And my husband’s recent scary cancer diagnosis has made us re-think international travel. We need to stay closer to a home base and consistent medical care. 

But Back to the Dog…

The other cool thing about getting a longer-term rental in the Chicago/Southern Illinois areas (with access to children and grandchildren) is that I can bring my dog! I can have the fun, comfort (and responsibility) of being with our furry family member in a new locale.

I look forward to exploring more of the Midwest about which I know little and spending extended periods cultivating relationships I really care about. Novel experiences are invaluable for brain health and a good quality of life, and travel fits that bill perfectly. Travel, however, comes in all sizes, shapes, and locations.

Here are photos of people I really want to spend my travel dollars on.

So, I guess I’m saying, at this point in my life, I want to use my hard-earned travel dollars differently than I used to. 

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What are your priorities in your 70s? Are they different from those you had set in your 60s? What is your take on the issue of using travel $$ differently? How have you adjusted your travel based on your priorities, values and goals?

Did you ever have a love that got away; someone about whom you think, What might have happened if…? Someone who is perhaps still tucked away in a tiny corner of your heart. 

Sometimes we fall in love for fleeting moments and move on. Other times, that person has the most incredible effect on our lives and things will never be the same. I would like to share my one-who-got-away, as he completely changed my life, and who I might have become.

My Life Was About to Be Transformed

It is hard to remember that, just a few decades ago, class was what it was. I was from a poor (but very happy) family. He was not. 

When I was 18, I took a temporary job working on a switchboard at a company in London. His father was a company director, and he was manager of a department, at just 21. Every time I answered his calls, he would always say something lovely or make me laugh, and before long, I found myself falling head over heels.

When he asked me out on a date, I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t care about his status or his wealth, he was just the kindest, loveliest man I had ever spoken to… and he wanted to take me out! This young girl from a rather run down council estate, who barely knew which fork to use, was about to have her entire life transformed. 

At weekends, he would pick me up on his motorbike and whisk me off to Knightsbridge, where we would go to Harrods and hang out in their fabulous boutique ‘Way In’. It was another world to me.

Afterwards, we might walk down to a beautiful little alley called Beauchamp Place, where he would buy handmade silk shirts (and often matching socks!). Then we would climb on the bike and speed across London to Hyde Park, and maybe have lunch in the little cafe overlooking The Serpentine or take a boat out on the lake.

A Big World Out There!

He took me to my first West End show, concerts, festivals, book fairs, flower shows, art galleries. We ate in fabulous restaurants (The Ivy!). Never once did he make me feel inadequate. If I didn’t know something, he always showed me what to do, in the most unassuming way.

He shared books with me that I would never have dreamt of reading – Tolstoy, Dostoevsky, Hesse – we listened to classical music. He taught me the value of study, as I had left school with zero qualifications. I learned about the environment, politics, history, economics; a world so big I couldn’t even imagine.

In the evenings, we would lie end to end on the sofa, reading books and listening to The Eagles or Genesis. Every so often, I would look up and see him just gazing at me, and my heart would skip a beat. Life was pretty perfect.

Not Quite Good Enough?

His father, who I met daily at work, seemed to have no problem with us and was always lovely to me. His mother, however, was not so happy. His elder sister had become pregnant and, in her eyes, had brought shame on the family. So much so that they had sold their house and moved to a new area. I guess she didn’t want to risk a repeat of that shame with her son.

Anyway, I don’t want to blame anyone at all, but after two wonderful years we split up. I was heartbroken. All I had left was his incredibly beautiful love letters, written in perfect scribed handwriting, and my memories.

Although we were no longer together, our time had altered the whole course of my life. I had experienced so much, learned more than I could have imagined, and felt ready to change what I thought was my destiny.

A Whole New World

I started studying. First a Degree in Psychology, next a Diploma in Counselling and a Diploma in Mediation, followed by a qualification which would enable me to be a lecturer. Later, I studied so much more. It was a thrill to learn new things and, even now, I am still learning.

I worked hard and saved hard. Soon, I bought my first property, a little Victorian house in London, which I spent four years renovating to make it absolutely beautiful. I was the first person in my whole family to buy a house!

I started to travel, going to amazing places like Kenya, South Africa, America. I opened a practice in Sussex, and another in London. I bought and sold more properties, both in the UK and abroad.

After about 20 years, I started to write educational courses. Imagine me, a writer! I had left school without a single qualification. What would my old teachers say?

Counting My Blessings

Now in my 60s, I have spent the last two years travelling the world on my own, always looking forward to my next adventure, whatever that might be. I count my blessings every single day.

I am sure none of this would have happened if he and I had never met, and I am grateful every day that I took a little temporary job answering phones in an office. A real sliding-doors moment for me. 

P.S. I met him once more, many years later. I was married and he was engaged, but there was still this wonderful connection between us. In the background, a song came on the radio, This Guy’s In Love With You, our favourite song. I hope that maybe I am in a little corner of his heart, too.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Did you have a love that ‘got away’? Do you still think of them and what your life may have been if you’d stayed together? Have you ever met up again?