Month: April 2026

Since I turned 60, I have been constantly surprised at the amount of innovation, bravery, and inspiration I have seen in older women.

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised… we are the generation that has changed the world, probably more than any other. No longer just the home makers, many of us have worked full time, at the same time as raising a family and running a home. We may have studied, climbed the career ladder, renovated property, as well as being a loving partner, family member, and friend.

Closing Chapters

So as a chapter is closing for me, I am looking for new stories to weave into my tapestry. What to do?

In my quest to find an answer, I thought it would be fun to explore a few possibilities for us wise, talented, and extremely able ladies. 🙂

Downsizing

Downsizing is often the most considered but can sometimes be the scariest. If you have lived in a home for a long time, perhaps raised your family there, saying goodbye can be tough.

But your memories are with you always, they are not left behind in four walls. You could make a ‘Moving Book’ where you put photos of your old house, write memories and anecdotes of special times and events there. I once knew a lady who took her door architrave as it was where she had marked her children growing!

And think of the benefits of living in a smaller place! Less cleaning, easier to maintain, more practical, less clutter, more economical to run. Perhaps there will be financial gains, or the opportunity to live closer to family and loved ones. 

Take your time… every journey begins with the first step.

Moving Abroad

While moving abroad after 60 may sound terrifying for some, every year thousands do it and absolutely love the newfound excitement, change and freedom they gain. A total change of lifestyle!

Obviously, this is something that needs a considerable amount of thought, mountains of research, and a great deal of planning. Get an ‘Adventure Book’ and begin by listing possible destinations, including pros and cons. For example, cost of living, property, healthcare, temperature/seasons, transportation, ease of access, shops, language, proximity to places you would enjoy, etc.

Try to be honest with yourself, living in a place permanently is not the same as holidaying in it. How will things be when you are older? Can you manage the heat/cold? How will it feel being far from family/friends?

But the appeal and benefits are definitely worth considering. Warmer climate, blue skies, laid-back lifestyle, cost of living, better healthcare, new opportunities, adventure are just some of the reasons people decide to up sticks and move abroad.

A New Business

Starting a new business after 60 has many advantages. You have decades of life experience and all the skills it teaches you… financial, organisational, practical, decision making – along with a huge range of life skills. You are also likely to know what you enjoy doing and, most importantly, what you don’t. Research shows that doing something you love is more likely to be successful than something you don’t.

There is also the added bonus that you are less likely to be financially responsible for others, allowing you more freedom with your decisions. The opportunities for business startups are huge: consultant, therapist, tutor, beautician, Youtuber, dog groomer – the list really is endless. Of course, always do your research first. 

Finding Love

Many solo over 60s enjoy life on their own, but others would prefer to have someone to share it with. If you are thinking of relationships, take a few steps so that you are proactive. You may bump into Mr. Right anywhere, but there is no harm in increasing your chances. 🙂

There are hundreds of ways to meet others, especially nowadays. You may prefer to join an online dating agency, become a member of local clubs where you can meet people with similar interests, or let your friends know you are thinking of starting a new relationship.

I know it can be a little scary putting yourself out there, but as long as you are careful, don’t take risks, and let someone know if you are going on a date with someone for the first time, there is no reason you can’t have just as much fun as when you were younger. 🙂

Dream Big!

The wonderful thing is that anything is possible. Truly it is! You can go to university, learn to fly a plane, become an extra in films, learn a language, travel the world, learn to dance, start a business, become a writer, start a blog, explore opportunities that could never have been possible when you were younger.

The only thing holding you back is your imagination… so dream big! There is no reason that someone else deserves it more than you. Picasso, Shakespeare, Pavarotti, Marco Polo, Neil Armstrong, Leonardo Da Vinci, Albert Einstein all had dreams. Their dreams were no more valid than yours.

So explore that wonderful, experienced and very clever brain of yours and ask it, What shall we do next? 🙂

Let’s Chat:

Have you changed the way you live? If you could change one thing, what would it be?

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Originally posted at: Rachel Zoe’s Black Purse

Most grandmothers I know carry a quiet question: What is my actual role here?

You don’t want to overstep. You don’t want to second-guess your adult children. But you also don’t want to sit on the sidelines of the lives of the people you love most.

There’s an answer to that question, and it comes from an unlikely place: decades of research on what helps children survive hard things.

When scientists study children who have faced hardship – abuse, neglect, instability, loss – one factor separates those who struggle for decades from those who go on to live well more consistently than any other.

It isn’t income. It isn’t the school. It isn’t therapy, though that helps.

It’s the presence of at least one stable, caring adult who consistently showed up for them.

Often that adult is a parent. But often it isn’t. It’s a grandmother. A coach. A neighbor. An aunt. Someone who, by being reliably present and reliably safe, helped that child’s developing nervous system learn that the world could hold them.

Harvard University’s Center on the Developing Child has been tracking this for decades. Their research summary is stark: “The single most common factor for children who develop resilience is at least one stable and committed relationship with a supportive parent, caregiver, or other adult.”

And it doesn’t have to be the parent. Which is where grandmothers come in.

Why This Matters More Than Ever

Here is the statistic that changed how I think about child safety: according to the American Society for the Positive Care of Children, about 90 percent of child sexual abuse is perpetrated by someone known and trusted by the child or their family.

The danger, in most cases, is not a stranger. It is someone already inside the circle of trust. Which means that the protective power of a grandparent is not about standing guard at the gate. It is about being a second trusted adult – someone outside the daily household, someone a child knows they can go to if something feels wrong.

A brand-new study out of the University of Toronto confirms something remarkable. Looking at more than 2,100 American Indian and Alaska Native adults, researchers found that those who recalled having a trusted, protective adult during childhood had substantially lower odds of depression, heart disease, and other chronic conditions later in life – even when they had experienced serious abuse. Safe relationships help children regulate stress, the researchers explain, leaving what one coauthor called “a lasting health imprint.”

In other words: a grandmother who makes a child feel safe may be shaping that child’s blood pressure, immune function, and mental health at age 50.

This is not sentimentality. This is medicine.

What “Being the Trusted Adult” Actually Means

It doesn’t mean being the fun one or spoiling them. It doesn’t mean inserting yourself into your adult child’s parenting. It means four things, consistently, over time:

Being Available

Not in a dramatic way. In a “you can call me” way. In a “I notice when something’s off” way. Availability is the foundation – because abuse and neglect thrive where no one is paying attention.

Believing Them

When a child tells you something hard, the first response should be belief, then calm curiosity. Not “Are you sure?” Not “That doesn’t sound like him.” Children learn very quickly who will believe them and who won’t. Be the one who does.

Being Non-Judgmental

A trusted adult is someone a child can tell the full truth to without being shamed for it.

Being Consistent

Showing up once a year at Thanksgiving is wonderful, but it is not what the research is measuring. Consistency over time – the same voice on the phone, the same face at the door – is what builds the neurological sense of safety that protects a child.

Here is what it can look like in a single moment. A nine-year-old comes over after school. Something is off – she is quieter than usual, won’t quite meet your eyes. The old impulse is to ask a lot of questions or to cheer her up. The trusted-adult move is smaller: you make her a snack, sit near her without talking, and say “I’m really glad you’re here. If anything is ever on your mind, I’m a good person to tell.” Then you let her stay quiet if she wants to. Two months later, when something comes up that she needs to tell someone, she will remember who said that.

One Important Caveat

None of this is about replacing parents or becoming suspicious of them. Most parents are doing their best. Most children are not being abused, and most hardships they face will be ordinary – a bully, a hard year, a grief.

But children with a trusted grandparent in the wings do better through ordinary hardships too. And on the rare occasions when something more serious happens, that grandparent may be the first adult the child tells.

The Closing Thought

One of the quiet gifts of this stage of life is that we finally have what young parents almost never have: time, patience, perspective, and the wisdom to know what really matters.

That is exactly what a child needs from an adult who isn’t their parent.

You don’t need to be perfect. You don’t need to live nearby. You just need to be reliably, consistently, safely there – and to mean it when you say a child can tell you anything.

Research says that’s enough to change a life. The children in your family already know it.

Another helpful article is How to Teach Grandchildren About Safe and Unsafe Secrets.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

How often do you communicate with your grandchildren? Do they know you are a safe person they can trust? Have you ever detected anything going on with a grandchild?