Month: April 2026

How do you measure: are you losing or winning?
Is life full of triumph or slightly head-spinning?
Here’s a small exercise, simple yet wise:
Take stock of your “big deals” – your lows and your highs.

Your marriages, missteps, your loves and your losses,
Your brilliant “I nailed it” or “Oh Well . . . that was crosses.”
Your children, your choices, your flops and your flair.
Make a list of them all. Yes, everything’s fair.

Now travel back softly to ten-year-old you:
What mattered back then? What felt thrilling and true?
A badge on your sash? Your first fish on a line?
A pocketknife treasure you thought was divine?

Those moments reveal what mattered to you then,
And how you’ve been changing again and again.
For growth isn’t just getting older each year –
It’s seeing why things felt important or dear.

Remember the drill team in eighth grade delight?
You made it – hooray! You belonged! What a sight!
It wasn’t just rhythm or boots in a row –
It was proof you weren’t clumsy, you could steal the show.

And missing the flag team? That wasn’t a curse –
Perhaps those big banners would only feel worse!
Too heavy, too tall – just not meant for your hand.
So pom-poms you chose, and you cheered in command.

Do you see the small wisdom tucked into your track?
Each “no” gently nudged you when you should move back.
You never were failing, not truly – not you.
You simply made choices with less-perfect view.

And what of that marriage that fizzled in three?
Was it “just a mistake”? Or a lesson to see?
Perhaps it revealed what you never would choose,
Or taught you of strength when you felt you might lose.

You must own each moment, each stumble, each scar –
For wisdom is built from actions which are . . .
You cannot step forward, you cannot feel free,
Till you claim: “This whole journey was crafted by me.”

For all those “bad choices,” those cringe-worthy days,
Are bricks in the path of your present-day ways.
Without them, dear friend, you would not be this you –
A different whole person, with different whole view.

So, look with clear eyes – be both steady and kind,
Examine your past with a calm, level mind.
You might find you had choices you didn’t quite see.
Or too many options that tangled your “be.”

And if you are fearful to walk your known track,
Admit it – no shame in a courage you lack.
For timing is clever, and growth has its pace –
You’re gathering strength for your next daring place.

So trust in your journey, each twist and each turn –
For wisdom is something you live and you earn.
You’re not lost or failing – no need to pretend.
You’re learning your way right on through to the end.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Which of your choices have worked out well – and which haven’t? What have you learned from both in the course of time? Do you trust the choices you make?

Kyle Richards’ Season 15 Reunion Look

Photo + Info: Bravo TV

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Rachel Zoe’s Season 15 Reunion Look

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Dorit Kemsley’s Season 15 Reunion Look

Photo + Info: Bravo TV

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Jennifer Tilly’s Season 15 Reunion Look

Photo + Info: Bravo TV

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Erika Girardi’s Season 15 Reunion Look

Styling: Morgan Pinney Harwood

Photo + Info: Bravo TV

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Bozoma Saint John’s Season 15 Reunion Look

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Sutton Stracke’s Season 15 Reunion Look

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Amanda Frances’ Season 15 Reunion Look

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Kathy Hilton’s Season 15 Reunion Look

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Best of Real Housewives Beverly Hills Season 15 is In!

Top Posts

Jennifer Tilly’s $40,000 Crystal Bear Bag

Rachel Zoe Used These Beauty and Makeup Products on Season 15 of RHOBH

Amanda Batula’s Plaid Bikini

Kyle Richards’ Tan Leather Lace Dress

Kyle Richards’ Navy Tie Neck Shirt and Tan Woven Bag

Dorit Kemsley’s Brown Wrap Dress

Dorit Kemsley’s Turquoise Necklace and Gold Hoop Earrings

Dorit Kemsley’s Navy Satin Shirt and Belted Pants

Dorit Kemsley’s Season 15 Reunion Look

Rachel Zoe’s Season 15 Reunion Look

Rachel Zoe’s Rainbow Metallic Pleated Maxi Dress

Rachel Zoe’s Black Sequin Please Do Not Disturb Bag

Dorit Kemsley’s White Floral Embroidered Corset

Kyle Richards’ Season 15 Reunion Look

Rachel Zoe’s Black Paisley Print One Shoulder Dress

Amanda Batula’s Cartier Watch from Kyle

Originally posted at: Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 15 Reunion Looks

We have this obsession with needing to know what we want at all stages of our lives.

And it doesn’t fade with age. In fact, sometimes it gets louder.

There’s a subtle expectation that by now, by this stage of life, we should feel certain. Settled. Complete. As though we’ve arrived at a final version of ourselves.

The Pressure to Know What You Want

But what if that expectation has been following us since childhood?

“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Damn, I’m part of the problem; I’m sure I’ve said this to my niece.

It sounds innocent enough. Encouraging, even, but it plants something early, the idea that we are supposed to know. That there is a right answer. That once we find it, we’re supposed to stick with it.

And that belief doesn’t stop in childhood. We choose subjects, careers, roles. Over time, those choices harden into identity. We stop saying, “This is what I’m doing,” and start saying, “This is who I am.”

But Things Don’t Always Remain the Same

Until something shifts. You can’t quite explain it. It just feels different.

The work that once energised you feels heavy. The role you’ve played so well doesn’t quite fit anymore. Even the things that used to light you up don’t quite land in the same way.

And instead of seeing that as growth, we see it as a flaw.

Surely by now, we tell ourselves, I should have this figured out?

Sometimes we reach midlife, or later, and what once felt steady suddenly fills us with dread. You find yourself back at a crossroads and start thinking there must be something wrong with you because you’re older now and still don’t know what you want.

Going Back Full Circle

You’re embarrassed. You hate to admit it, but you feel like you’re back where you were as a teenager or in your early 20s, still wondering what you want to do.

How can I feel this at this age?

And sometimes it’s not even about going back to who you were at a certain age.

Sometimes it’s about realising the roles you’ve carried for years as mother, wife, carer, organiser, the one who holds everything together, are shifting.

And when that happens, there’s this strange space.

You’re not unhappy. You’re not ungrateful. But you’re no longer defined in the same way.

And the question becomes quieter but heavier:If I’m not just this role… then who am I now?

You don’t really want to bring it up because you can almost hear it already:

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“How can you not know what you want by now?”

Looking for Yourself

So you go on a quiet quest to find yourself. You try different things. Go to different places. Adopt different identities. Jeez, you might be vegetarian one month, exploring Buddhism the next, and taking up fencing after that.

This quest for knowing, for certainty, can be exhausting. Gut-wrenching even. But what if knowing exactly what you’re meant to do for the whole of your life is, quite frankly, a load of poppycock?

Humour me for a minute.

What if this need to label ourselves and stick to it is part of what keeps us stuck?

We’re taught that we have to know what we want, what we want to be. We’re conditioned to think there’s one correct path. Yet life throws unexpected turns and through all of it, we’re somehow meant to stay exactly the same?

Who decided that?

What If We All Have Seasons?

What if we’re meant to do different things in different chapters? Maybe we don’t have one single soul purpose. Perhaps we have a few. Or many. Or perhaps we simply evolve into truer versions of ourselves over time.

Did you know that a hermit crab outgrows its shell? The shell once protected it. It suited the crab perfectly. But as it grows, that same shell becomes restrictive. It doesn’t mean the shell was wrong. It simply means growth happened. So the crab finds a new shell.

Maybe We Need to Change the Narrative

It shouldn’t be embarrassing not to know. Uncertainty doesn’t equal failure! It can equal opportunity. Think of life less as something you must figure out once and for all, and more as something you get to explore. The world becomes a playground. You get to try things on and see what fits.

Doesn’t That Sound Exciting?

Growth doesn’t stop because we’ve reached a certain age. We all have the option to grow. To try new things. To test what works.

The only time it truly doesn’t work is when we stop allowing ourselves to try.

If any of this feels familiar, if you’re in a season of questioning and not quite sure what fits anymore, sometimes it helps to talk it through.

I offer free one-to-one discovery calls for women who want space to explore what this next chapter could look like.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you have everything in life figured out? What has escaped you to date? What identities have you tried so far? Which ones fit better than the others?

There’s a line in a song I wrote recently that stayed with me longer than the music:

“I know it’s my own doing… bein’ where I be… but that don’t make it easier… livin’ inside of me.”

We All Live in Our Own Thoughts

I didn’t write that line as advice. It wasn’t meant to fix anything. It just showed up one day, the way honest things tend to do. And the more I sat with it, the more I realized how much of life can feel like that – being aware of where we are, how we got there, and still not finding any relief in that understanding.

There’s a quiet weight that comes from living inside your own thoughts too long. Not always loud or dramatic. Sometimes it’s just a steady presence – going over the same ground, revisiting the same moments, asking questions that don’t seem to lead anywhere new.

And every now and then, it raises a simple possibility.

What would it feel like to step outside of that, even briefly?

Not in a dramatic, life-changing way. Not by fixing anything. Just… stepping away for a while.

A Different Kind of Day

Maybe it’s getting in the car and driving somewhere with no particular destination. Maybe it’s sitting in a place you don’t usually go. Maybe it’s doing something small and unfamiliar, something that doesn’t carry the usual weight of expectation.

I’ve felt it in small moments like that. Even something as simple as going to a movie in the middle of the day. There’s something about it that feels a little off at first – like you’re stepping outside the normal rhythm of things.

And then the movie ends, and you walk back out into the daylight… and for a second, it doesn’t quite line up. The world is still moving along like it always does, but you’ve been somewhere else for a while.

It’s a strange feeling. Not bad. Just different.

Like you stepped outside of yourself… and then quietly stepped back in.

Stepping Out of Yourself Provides Perspective

There’s something quietly powerful in that. Not because it changes who you are, but because it reminds you that you’re not limited to one way of being in the world. Even if it’s only for a short time.

And maybe the most surprising part isn’t the change itself – it’s the moment afterward. That small recognition that you did something different. That you gave yourself a break from the familiar rhythm of your own thinking.

There’s a kind of dignity in that. Not pride in the usual sense, but a quieter acknowledgment:

I stepped outside of it for a while.

No judgment. No fixing. Just a shift.

Those Moments Make Us Pause

And then something else occurred to me – something I’ve noticed over the years, especially when I’m writing.

Sometimes a line will come to me that feels like it didn’t come from effort at all. It just arrives. And every now and then, I’ll stop and read it back and think, Where did that come from?

That line I shared above – “I know it’s my own doing… bein’ where I be… but that don’t make it easier… livin’ inside of me” – was one of those moments.

It made me pause.

Not to fix anything. Not to judge anything. Just to take a quiet inventory.

Because it didn’t feel like I was saying something about myself. It felt more like something in me was speaking to me.

And what it was saying wasn’t harsh. It wasn’t critical.

It was almost the opposite.

It was a kind of quiet reminder.

Be a little easier on yourself.

Recognizing Where We Currently Are

Writing has a way of doing that. So does any honest form of expression. It has a way of showing us not just what we’ve done, but how we’ve been treating ourselves along the way.

And sometimes, what it reveals isn’t that we’ve made mistake – —that part we usually already know.

It’s how hard we’ve been on ourselves for making them.

There’s a difference between recognizing where we are… and punishing ourselves for it.

And maybe, every now and then, what we really need isn’t correction.

Maybe it’s just a small shift.

A softer voice.

A moment where we step outside of that constant inner conversation… and give ourselves a little room to breathe.

Not forever.

Just for a while.

Because the truth is, we all carry things. We all have places inside ourselves that feel heavier than we’d like. Knowing that doesn’t make it disappear. It doesn’t make it easier.

But it does make it human.

And maybe, every now and then, it’s enough to take a day off from living inside all of it… and just be somewhere else, even for a little while.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What thoughts constantly occupy your mind? Have you tried stepping out of yourself for a little bit? What does that feel like? Does it bring clarity or something else?

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Top Posts

Jennifer Tilly’s $40,000 Crystal Bear Bag

Rachel Zoe Used These Beauty and Makeup Products on Season 15 of RHOBH

Amanda Batula’s Plaid Bikini

Kyle Richards’ Tan Leather Lace Dress

Kyle Richards’ Navy Tie Neck Shirt and Tan Woven Bag

Dorit Kemsley’s Brown Wrap Dress

Dorit Kemsley’s Turquoise Necklace and Gold Hoop Earrings

Dorit Kemsley’s Navy Satin Shirt and Belted Pants

Dorit Kemsley’s Season 15 Reunion Look

Rachel Zoe’s Season 15 Reunion Look

Rachel Zoe’s Rainbow Metallic Pleated Maxi Dress

Rachel Zoe’s Black Sequin Please Do Not Disturb Bag

Dorit Kemsley’s White Floral Embroidered Corset

Kyle Richards’ Season 15 Reunion Look

Rachel Zoe’s Black Paisley Print One Shoulder Dress

Amanda Batula’s Cartier Watch from Kyle

Originally posted at: Dara Levitan’s Blue Ombre Bikini and Cover Up