Author: Admin01

10 Holiday Gifts Inspired by Bravolebs

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1. Embellished Passport Books Gifted by Bronwyn Newport 2. XL Volupspa Crushed Candy Cane Candle Gifted to Kyle Richards from Kathy Hilton 3. Shark LED Light Therapy Mask Used by Amanda Batula, Kyle Richards + BBH Editor Lauren 4. Alo Sweatsuit Seen on Kiki Barth + BBH Editor Lauren 5. Zara Argyle Sweater Seen on Tracy Tutor 6. La Jolie Muse Candle Owned by Kyle Richards 7. La Petite Plume Leopard Graphic Pajamas Seen on Heather Gay 8. Amazon Travel Makeup Bag Used by Madison LeCroy 9. Peter Thomas Roth Retinol Eye Patches Used by Kathy Hilton + Erika Girardi 10. Melinda Maria Spiked Pavé Earrings Seen on Kyle Richards in Gold

Originally posted at: 10 Holiday Gifts Inspired by Bravolebs

Do you love the holidays like I do? Or do you feel more like Scrooge (like my husband pretends to be)? If you’re not in the “Bah humbug” mood, what is it that brings you joy about this season? Lights, music, food, festivities, gifts, baking, gatherings, decorations, smells, traveling, the weather, church or school activities, wrapping, shopping, Christmas cards, more family and/or friend time?

Regardless of our beliefs, family situations, or preferences, holidays tend to bring family to the forefront of our mind. Maybe it’s time we finally decide to leave our family in comfort, not confusion.

Comfort or Confusion?

What do I mean by that? No matter what our age, there’s a way to take care of our family even after we are gone. Holidays and life in general tend to blur together, faster and faster. Suddenly we, and those around us, are aging, and we begin losing loved ones. The next thing you know, I am meeting regularly with widower and widow clients as they move forward after losing a spouse.

Unpleasant Thoughts

When I started helping families with their financial lives over 20 years ago, a common lament by clients (related to IRA distributions) was “how did I get to be 70 ½ already!?!” Aging is part of life, a part that we don’t usually like to think about since it means there will also be an end. And maybe even some incapacity along the way to the end of life. More unpleasant thoughts.

2026 Will Be the Year

But ignoring and doing nothing to prepare for those times, will not make the reality of aging go away. Maybe during this season of giving and spending time with family, we proactively decide to get financially organized in the new year as our best, last gift to our family… whenever that may be. Tell yourself that 2026 is going to be the year you take the bull by the horns and do it.

Your Financial House in Order

So what does it mean to get your financial house in order, to benefit you now and your family later? At a minimum, you need to answer three important questions:

1. What do I have (assets)?
2. Have I told those assets where to go?
3. Are my wishes in writing?

Let’s tackle each one briefly.

What Do I Have?

The document that answers the first question is technically called a Net Worth statement. I designed a fill in the blank summary that is user friendly (a fillable pdf in understandable categories) that shows you immediately what you have and where it is along with the important details that most personal financial statements like this leave out (i.e., the account title and beneficiary).

It will become the Master List of what there is to help you if you are incapacitated AND what there is to be distributed by your executor or Successor Trustee after you are gone.

Where to Go?

I wrote a separate blog on “telling your assets where to go.” In a nutshell, it’s all about titling your accounts correctly and also adding appropriate beneficiary designations. Did you know you can name a beneficiary on your non-IRA accounts at the bank, your home, and your non-IRA investment accounts?

Wishes in Writing

Lastly, what wishes in writing am I talking about? Who do you want to talk to your doctor to make medical decisions (health care power of attorney)? Who do you authorize to act for you at the bank or on your financial matters (Durable power of attorney aka financial POA)? How do you want your remains handled, cremation or burial (final disposition document)? Who gets your accounts and other titled assets (will, trust, beneficiary designations and account titles)? Who gets your stuff aka non-titled personal items (personal property disposition list, you can handwrite, sign and date this without an attorney)?

Newsletter Tools

The tools that I share in my monthly newsletter can help tremendously with financial organization. Let the holidays remind you how much you value family and friends. Enough to commit to taking action in the new year. Let’s end this year with the mindset that 2026 will be the year of loving our families even after we are gone by preparing in advance to leave them in comfort, not confusion!

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you experienced comfort or confusion regarding someone’s wishes after they passed? What would have helped you in those situations? What have you done to prevent confusion if you are incapacitated or after you are gone? Let’s share our stories to help each other!

Women over 50 know something younger generations don’t: You can survive almost anything except the exhaustion you never name.

For many of us, that exhaustion doesn’t arrive all at once. It sneaks in slowly. It shows up as irritability we can’t explain, heaviness we can’t shake, guilt we can’t rationalize, or a vague sense that we’ve somehow gotten life “wrong.” Most women don’t realize they’ve crossed the line between ordinary tiredness and something deeper – emotional depletion.

You just feel off.

Too tender.

Too reactive.

Too regretful.

Too overwhelmed.

And because society trained us to absorb everyone else’s needs, moods, and crises, the story we automatically tell ourselves is:

“I must have done everything wrong.”

But that story is both cruel and false.

This Exhaustion Has a Name

What you’re feeling isn’t failure.

It’s compassion fatigue – the exhaustion that comes from caring deeply for too long, without rest, without refill, and often without acknowledgment.

After decades of caregiving – raising children, managing a household, supporting partners, navigating aging parents, absorbing conflict, soothing fears, tending to emotional fires big and small – your nervous system becomes worn down. You have been the family’s emotional thermostat for years. You constantly adjusted yourself to keep everyone else comfortable.

That Role Comes with a Quiet Price

Many women in their 50s, 60s, and beyond report:

• A sense of emotional heaviness they can’t explain.
• Difficulty separating their children’s choices from their own worth.
• Shame over mistakes made in survival seasons.
• Grief they’ve never named.
• Loneliness, even when surrounded by people.

This is not failure.

This is the predictable consequence of a lifetime spent prioritizing everyone else’s well-being over your own.

You were never designed to carry that level of responsibility without refilling. You are not fragile – you are depleted. And if you feel drained, it means you’re human, not defective.

Here’s the good news:

Midlife is not just a reckoning. It’s also the perfect time to finally heal.

You Have Permission to Pay Attention to Yourself

This season offers a natural turning point – a shift from being the center of your children’s world to becoming the center of your own. And while it can feel unfamiliar, even disorienting, it can also be profoundly liberating.

You finally have permission to listen inward. To take yourself seriously. To honor your limits instead of ignoring them. To ask questions like:

• What do I want now?
• Who am I when I’m not needed?
• What parts of me did I bury to keep everything running?

This chapter invites you to reclaim pieces of yourself you haven’t touched in decades. And it all begins with four quiet, powerful shifts:

1. Rest without Guilt

Not performative rest. Not “I’ll lie down after I finish everything else” rest.

Real rest. Body-deep rest. Soul-level rest.

You’ve earned it a hundred times over.

2. Release the Old Mother Role of Savior/Fixer

Your grown children don’t need a rescuer – they need a steady, peaceful you.

Let their problems be their problems. Let their growth be their teacher.

3. Reclaim Time, Energy, and Dreams Buried Under Caregiving

Your passions didn’t disappear; they simply waited their turn. Now is that turn.

4. Rewrite Your Identity Around Who You Are, Not Who You Serve

There is a woman inside you who existed before the world told her to be everything for everyone. She’s still there. And she is ready to come home.

None of this is collapse. None of this is failure. This is rebirth.

Your exhaustion is not a sign of weakness but of longevity, devotion, endurance. You have cared deeply for decades. Now life is inviting you – gently, kindly – back to yourself.

You are not a failure. You are a woman who finally has permission to exhale.

Your next chapter begins the moment you stop blaming yourself for being tired. You’ve carried everyone else long enough. Now it’s your turn.

Join us at www.realmomlife.com to re-engage with your life and rebuild one filled with purpose, passion, and pizzazz!

Let’s Discuss:

Are you suffering from compassion fatigue? Can you make the connection between your exhaustion and years of neglecting your own needs?

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Originally posted at: Kyle Richards’ Aviator Glasses

Emotional abuse rarely announces itself. Most of the time, it begins with a barely noticeable shift in behavior. Maybe it’s the cold tone that starts to creep in more regularly, or small dismissals of your feelings.

For many women in their 60s (and earlier), especially those who’ve spent decades as the emotional backbone of their families, the erosion of self-worth caused by emotional abuse can happen so slowly it’s almost invisible.

With all of your responsibilities – kids, work, home, family – you just adapt. And you rationalize. You tell yourself things like, “He’s tired,” “I’m probably being too sensitive,” or “This is just the way marriage goes.”

It’s not how marriage or relationships are supposed to go though.

Long-term emotional abuse changes you. It warps how you see yourself, how you understand love, and what you believe you deserve.

If you’ve lived for years with a partner that belittles you, dismisses your needs, or controls you through silence or guilt, you’re not weak – you’re conditioned. And conditioning can be undone.

So, for those of you who have emotional bruises that no one can see, know that you can reclaim yourself and find the person you once were.

Subtle Actions Lead to Deep Wounds

Emotional abuse in long-term relationships doesn’t usually start out looking like abuse at all.

More often than not, it just seems like personality quirks or gets explained away as “just the way he is.” In the beginning, nearly all women who’ve dealt with emotional abuse think the behavior is no big deal.

It might start with,

• Criticism wrapped in “helpful advice.”
• The silent treatment when you express a need or opinion.
• Belittling your accomplishments, interests, or friendships.
• Keeping you off balance through moodiness or unpredictability.
• Using guilt, fear, or obligation to control decisions.
• Rewriting arguments to make everything your fault.
• Acting like your feelings are overreactions or drama.

Over time, these behaviors can erode your self-confidence, causing you to lose trust in yourself and your instincts.

You may start apologizing for things that aren’t your fault or trying to avoid doing anything that triggers any of his many negative responses.

By the time you reach your late 50s or 60s, the relationship you’ve poured your life into can feel like a cage that’s been subtly but methodically built year by year.

And you may just now be realizing that what you’ve dealt with and assumed is normal is actually abusive and that it’s completely reshaped your identity.

Many women at this stage describe the effects of long-term emotional abuse as

• Feeling like you’ve lost your voice and don’t know how to get it back.
• Constant guilt for wanting peace, rest, or space.
• Becoming accustomed to hiding your needs and opinions.
• Not daring to imagine a future that includes what you want and not just what he tells you it will be.
• Feeling convinced that your suffering is all in your head and that everyone else deals with the same thing.

They don’t.

If this sounds like you, let’s be very clear – it’s not your fault, and it’s not failure. It’s trauma.

Why You Stayed So Long – It’s Not Because You’re Weak

Many women who’ve endured decades of emotional abuse suffer with guilt and self-recrimination as they beat themselves up by asking, “Why did I stay so long?” or “Why didn’t I make it stop?”

The answer is more complicated than you may recognize.

A long-term marriage has many layers. It’s never as cut and dry as “I’ll stay,” or “I’ll go.” Even if those are choices you actively make, the psychological hurdles you must jump through to get to an acknowledged choice are extensive and difficult.

Many women stay because they,

Believed in the Commitment of Marriage

If you were raised to understand that marriage was supposed to be hard work, you may not see clearly the difference between the work of marriage and the tolerance of abuse. So, instead of complaining or quitting, you honor your commitment and do the work.

Prioritized Family

Most women will tell you that creating a household that’s stable for their children is their number one priority. This means a two-parent household and financial security. And if achieving these things means you have to deal with some emotional pain along the way, well, so be it.

Say He Wasn’t Always Like This

Most emotionally abusive husbands are not abusive 100% of the time. They can be attentive, charming, or remorseful just enough to keep you hoping things will improve, so you just continue chasing the hope you keep telling yourself – “He’ll change.”

Doubt Themselves and Their Abilities to Stand on Their Own

Emotional abuse thrives on confusion and self-blame. When someone repeatedly tells you you’re too sensitive, too emotional, or too demanding, you begin to question yourself. Pretty soon, you can’t even imagine where you’d begin if you had to do things on your own – so you stay.

Believed There Were No Options

Financial dependence, retirement concerns, health issues, and fear of loneliness all keep women in painful marriages far longer than anyone on the outside understands.

None of this makes you weak. It makes you human.

But at this stage in your life, you have a right to peace. You have a right to joy. And you have a right to reclaim control over the remaining decades of your life.

You’re Starting Your Third Act – Is It Too Late to Change Things?

No, it’s not.

But whether you choose to stay, start implementing firm boundaries, or leave, the first step is the same. You need to heal yourself and reconnect with who you were, are, and want to be.

How?

Use these tips as your jumping-off point.

Strengthen Your Faith in Yourself

Emotional abuse teaches you to distrust your own perceptions. Rebuilding that trust takes time. Start with some small habits.

Consider:

• Writing down your feelings without censoring them. Be blunt and brutal.
• Notice when you apologize for existing or for things over which you have no control or responsibility. Then stop.
• Remind yourself that your feelings are valid – even if he dismisses them.

Expand Your Support System

You don’t need to tell everyone your story, just connecting with some supportive people – friends, family, coworkers (current or former) – will help you regain perspective.

Start small. A text or phone call, lunch, a movie, whatever makes sense. The respectful and kind interactions you have with others will grow your confidence and self-esteem.

Identify the Patterns

Try writing down specific examples of emotional abuse. Not to convince anyone else – just to remind yourself that what you’re experiencing is real.

Seeing it clearly on paper can be a turning point.

Set Small, Realistic, and Enforceable Boundaries

You don’t have to start with confrontation. Start with self-protection.

For example:

• If he starts to criticize, say something like, “I’m not having this conversation right now,” and walk away.
• Stop explaining or defending your feelings.
• Stop trying to manage his moods.
• Give yourself permission to say, no – even to small things.

Boundary-setting is like using a muscle, and it strengthens with use.

Consider Your Options

Leaving an emotionally abusive marriage later in life isn’t simple. But it’s also not impossible.

You don’t have to decide today.

You just need to allow yourself to imagine what a life where you feel emotionally safe looks like. Then you can consider how you get there.

Ideally, it would be together because he’s willing to change, and underneath it all truly cares about you. Keep in mind that if you’re dealing with decades of ingrained behavior, reaching this point will likely require the assistance of a professional counselor.

If counseling together isn’t in the cards, counseling for yourself can still be extremely beneficial and may help you figure out what the best next steps forward for you will look like.

A Special Note for Women Whose Emotionally Abusive Husbands Have Passed Away

For some women, abusive marriage doesn’t end through change or choice, but through loss.

If you’ve been widowed and your relationship was abusive, you might feel,

• Relief mixed with guilt.
• Anger because you never got an apology.
• Loneliness that feels humiliating.
• Freedom that feels frightening.
• A strange sense of emptiness after decades of walking on eggshells.

These are all normal and don’t mean you didn’t love him or that you’re a bad person because you’re ready to move on – even if it’s scary.

Remember, you lived something that many people can’t (or won’t) understand. The years you have left are yours. You are not too old to grow, change, rediscover joy, or build a life that finally feels like it belongs to you.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Is your partner emotionally abusive? Are you a widow whose husband was emotionally abusive? If you have experienced emotional abuse and have made changes or need support, share your story and join the conversation. You may be scared to write it down, but telling others is a necessary first step to getting change.