Author: Admin01

This month, social media brims with everything from pre-lit garland and holiday gift wrap to cheerful DIYs and seasonal excursions as part of Vlogmas. It’s become a festive tradition for many, providing a personal glimpse into others’ lives during “the most wonderful time of the year.”

I first heard about Vlogmas a few years ago but only recently decided to give it a try – my way. While some creators have fancy equipment and a polished approach that’d rival a holiday special, you, too, can make Vlogmas your own. For instance, I’ll be sharing snippets of my December days off camera – where I’m more comfortable – instead of in front of it.

What Exactly Is Vlogmas?

YouTuber Ingrid Nilsen coined the term “Vlogmas” – a combination of “video blog” and “Christmas” – in 2011 as well as the challenge of making a video every day in December leading up to the 25th, sort of like a visual advent calendar.

Over time, Vlogmas has expanded, with people now posting their videos on Facebook – where I’ll be sharing mine – Instagram, TikTok, and even with friends and family privately. Essentially, it’s a digital journal that provides a fun way to be creative and savor the small joys you can share with others. You can capture whatever you want, such as:

• Holiday decorating
• Festive outings
• Cozy rituals
• Baking and cooking
• Gift wrapping
• Party outfits and PJs
• Season-ready pets
• Merry manicures
• Your own reflections
• And more!

Why Participate?

You can start any day in December and do it as often or infrequently as you wish. Purists may prefer to record something daily, counting down to Christmas. Some people plan for the 12 days before Christmas. But the whole point of Vlogmas should be to have fun documenting how you spend the month. (We don’t have to follow rules on how we enjoy the holidays, right?) Need more inspiration?

1. It Celebrates the Small, Meaningful Moments

As we get older, the little things can become the most meaningful, like morning coffee in a favorite mug, the glow of a candle, and the ornaments we’ve trotted out and adored for decades. Vlogmas can help us intentionally notice and capture these special moments.

2. It’s a Fun, Creative Outlet with Zero Pressure

You can make it your own by doing it your way. Film with your phone and keep each video under a minute or go much longer – some vloggers aim for a duration of 20 to 25 minutes. Skip days if you choose. You can experiment and try different things. It doesn’t have to be perfect, and there’s no single “right” way to do it.

3. You Can Be on Camera or Behind the Scenes

While many Vlogmas creators enjoy being in front of their cameras, some never film themselves fully. (Think hands wrapping a present, flipping through a book, brewing tea, focusing on décor, etc.) What you do is completely your choice.

4. It’s a Way to Share Traditions and Memories

Many women use Vlogmas to tell stories. Maybe you’d like to revisit a favorite childhood memory. Or perhaps you’d prefer to share a cherished recipe passed down through generations. Then again, you might wish to let people in on a simple ritual that brings you peace and comfort. These moments become a kind of gift to those who follow you on social media.

5. It Helps You Stay Connected

Providing even a tiny window into your day helps others feel closer to you – children, grandchildren, friends, and even strangers crave warmth in their feed. It can be especially meaningful to those who don’t live close to you and may not be with you for the holidays.

How to Do Vlogmas Without Being on Camera

As I mentioned, I don’t wish to be featured in my videos. While that could change during the process, I’m planning to share things from my point of view (POV) and literally film what I see – an advent “calendar” I’ll open daily, decorations, outings, etc. I know there will likely be some hands-only shots involved, too. If you’d like to do something similar, here are some easy, no-pressure ideas that can work beautifully:

Your POV

Film what you see – your decorated mantle, holiday lights, your neighborhood decked out for the holidays, and anything else that feels merry and bright. Add text or music, and you’re done.

Hands-Only Shots

Some things people love seeing vloggers do include:

• Making tea, coffee, or hot cocoa in festive mugs
• Wrapping gifts
• Placing ornaments on their trees

Cozy Home Clips

Pan across:

• A wreath
• Your nativity set
• Holiday pillows
• Soft blankets
• A snowy window scene – faux or real

Story and Photos

Record your voice telling a short story (30–60 seconds) over:

• A single still image
• Twinkle lights
• A candle
• Your Christmas tree

Most smartphones today have simple editing tools built in, and free apps like Canva or CapCut make it easy to trim clips, add music, or include text if you want to.

Give Yourself Permission to Make Vlogmas Yours

You don’t need a perfect house or flawless lighting, and you don’t have to perform for the camera. You just need a moment each day – or whenever you want – to capture something that sparks joy, even something tiny.

In a season that can feel overwhelming, lonely, emotional, or rushed, Vlogmas can be a gentle reminder to pause and pay attention. And who knows? You might discover a new December tradition you truly love; one that celebrates your voice, your memories, and the magic in your everyday life.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you ever participated in Vlogmas or another creativity challenge? What holiday moments bring you the most joy these days? Would you prefer to share your experiences on camera or behind it? Share your thoughts and experiences with our community.

Do you view painful emotions like fear, regret, anger, or sadness as unwelcome intruders – feelings to be avoided, suppressed, and hidden from others?

This self-censorship often takes root in childhood, when we’re taught to downplay our feelings – especially intense ones or those labeled “inappropriate.” I don’t know about you, but in my childhood home, expressions of sadness or tears were discouraged, and displays of anger often resulted in disciplinary action.

And now, as the holiday season unfolds around us, those old patterns can resurface with surprising force.

For many women our age, this time of year becomes an emotional pressure cooker. There’s the grief of empty chairs at the table, the exhaustion of hosting expectations, the complicated dance of family dynamics, the cultural mandate to be merry when we might be feeling anything but.

We’re supposed to radiate gratitude and joy while simultaneously managing disappointment, loneliness, resentment, or the particular sadness that comes with change. No wonder we’re worn out before the decorations even come down.

But what if this season could be different? What if we had a framework for navigating these emotional crosscurrents with more grace and less guilt?

What if we accepted our challenging emotions and those of others? What if we used them as information rather than trying to change them?

What if we viewed them as guides to help us live in alignment with our values and to connect more deeply with others?

The Spirit of Sawubona

This kind of radical acceptance reminds me of a South African greeting that captures something profound about truly seeing each other – and in doing so, helping each other flourish.

The word is Sawubona, which psychologist Susan David, PhD, often references in her groundbreaking work on emotions. It means: “I see you, and by seeing you, I bring you into being.”

But to truly see others, we must first learn to see ourselves fully. In her book Emotional Agility, Dr. David encourages us to embrace all aspects of our inner world, including the parts we might find challenging.

Dr. David introduces us to a liberating perspective: moving beyond labeling our emotions as simply ‘good’ or ‘bad’. Instead, she encourages us to welcome all our thoughts and feelings as valuable parts of our human experience.

“When we reconnect with ourselves – when we compassionately acknowledge our pain – we begin to see ourselves more clearly. We start living from our hearts, not just our heads.” —Susan David, PhD

One of the most potent aspects of emotional agility is its emphasis on self-acceptance. By acknowledging and working with all of our emotions—not just the pleasant ones—we can tap into a rich source of self-understanding and growth.

Four Key Steps

Dr. David outlines four fundamental steps in developing emotional agility:

Showing Up

Face your thoughts and feelings with curiosity and acceptance – yes, even that flash of rage at your sister-in-law’s comment, even that whisper of loneliness on Christmas morning. All of it deserves your gentle attention.

Stepping Out

Create distance between yourself and your emotions. This doesn’t mean detachment but rather the ability to observe your feelings objectively, recognizing that they are temporary states, not permanent traits. That wave of resentment about hosting again? It’s a feeling passing through you, not who you are.

Walking Your Why

Connect with your core values. Use these as a compass to guide your actions and decisions, especially in challenging times. Perhaps you value authenticity over performance, or rest over productivity. Let those truths guide you through December.

Moving On

Make small, deliberate adjustments to align your mindset, motivation, and habits with your values. This involves taking concrete steps towards personal growth and positive change – maybe saying no to one obligation, or being honest when someone asks how you’re really doing.

Finding Your Way

By embracing our whole selves – including our fears, doubts, and struggles – we open the door to greater authenticity, resilience, and a more fulfilling life.

As wise woman Maya Angelou said, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better, do better.”

Emotional agility offers a path to knowing and doing better. It’s not about achieving perpetual happiness but rather about developing a more balanced, flexible approach to our emotional lives.

In a world that often emphasizes positivity at all costs, emotional agility reminds us that true wellbeing comes not from avoiding difficult emotions but from learning to dance with them.

So this holiday season, instead of forcing yourself into festive cheer or hiding the parts that don’t fit the greeting card image, try something radical: show up fully, with all your contradictory feelings. The freedom you find there might be the best gift you give yourself all year.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What emotion have you been trying to hide or manage this holiday season? Which of the four steps of emotional agility speaks to you most right now, and why? If you gave yourself permission to feel everything, what would that free you to do differently?

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On my return from New Orleans, friends asked, “Did you stay in the French Quarter and party on Bourbon Street?” These days, Netflix thrillers fill my nights, with a bowl of popcorn and a glass of Merlot. On a pre-Katrina trip, I heard jazz at Preservation Hall, shopped in Jackson Square, and took a cemetery and voodoo tour. This time around, I feasted my way across Crescent City, but not all in the French Quarter, spending most of my time in the Warehouse District, Central City, Downtown, and the Garden District.

Warehouse District

Bordered by the French Quarter, the Warehouse or Arts District features galleries in repurposed warehouses, excellent museums, and restaurants of James Beard Award-winning chefs. I spent three nights at the Old No. 77 Chandlery Hotel, conveniently located adjacent to Compère Lapin.

Compère Lapin

Named after a mischievous rabbit from traditional Caribbean and Creole folktales, restaurant Compère Lapin is owned by Chef Nina Compton. Chef Compton blends traditional New Orleans fare, adding influences from her Caribbean home in St. Lucia. She trained at the Culinary Institute of America and was runner-up in Top Chef Season 11. Compton also took home the James Beard Award in 2018 for “Best Chef: South.” I started with the frozen Hurricane Buster, packing a sweet, alcohol-forward passionfruit punch, with a maximum of two per customer.

Chef Compton’s excellent credentials became clear in the small bites, most notably the snapper collar with jerk peanut sauce, tasting sweet and savory. For my main course, I ordered the curried goat with cashews, sweet potato, and gnocchi. The meat was tender with just enough spice, and the curry powder lent depth and warmth. The gnocchi melted in my mouth.

Just a few doors down the street, the Peacock Room hosted singer Robin Barnes.

Peacock Room

The Peacock Room feels like a living room, with royal blue comfy couches and walls adorned with parrots and peacocks. Robin Barnes, named “The Songbird of New Orleans,” belts out “Billie Jean is not my lover” from her repertoire of funk, bounce, and Zydeco music. She walks the room, sharing the microphone with audience members, encouraging them to sing with her. I had my first Sazerac of the trip, considered the original cocktail with Peychaud’s bitters and rye whiskey.

Mother’s Restaurant

A long lineup of eager eaters stared me down at Mother’s Restaurant as I skipped the line (one of the perks of being a travel writer). The restaurant is known for its baked ham. I had a crawfish etouffee omelette with cheese grits. I’d never eaten crawfish before. They are smaller than shrimp and less chewy. The enormous biscuit came with house-made raspberry preserves. I had to pace myself, as more delicious food was coming.

Next up, Deelightful Roux School of Cooking.

Central City

Deelightful Roux School of Cooking

New Orleans Chef Dee Lavigne founded Deelightful Roux School of Cooking, the first Black woman to do so in New Orleans in over 80 years. In 1949, more than a decade before Julia Child’s debut, Chef Lena Richard hosted a cooking show, breaking gender and racial barriers in the kitchen. Chef Lavigne follows in Chef Richard’s footsteps with her recipes. For example, she updates Richard’s original shrimp bisque recipe, using modern tools, keeping the Creole flavors intact. Through her cooking school, Chef Lavigne preserves Black culinary history.

My class prepared Creole jambalaya, smothered okra, and bananas foster. I learned how to smash garlic with a scraper, to toast Cajun spices in the pot before adding liquids, and to flambé bananas for the bananas foster.

My favorite dish was the bananas foster over vanilla ice cream. The caramelized bananas were sweet and buttery, with a hint of spice. It was delish! The school is located inside the Southern Food & Beverage Museum, showcasing the fascinating history of cuisine in the southern states.

The legendary Dew Drop Inn also takes visitors back in time.

Dew Drop Inn

Part of the ‘Chitlin Circuit’, clubs and theatres that welcomed Black Musicians in the 1930s through the 1960s, the Dew Drop Inn also made the Green Book, a guide for Black travellers during segregation. During that time, the club booked performers such as Ray Charles, Tina Turner, Little Richard, and Sam Cooke. Beside a restored red leather barber chair, a full wall shows photos of the nightclub and performers. Also on display is civil rights history.

Each of the 17 bright, beautifully decorated rooms is named for a different musician. At the buffet brunch, I discovered my new favorite dessert, bread pudding (I had 4 pieces!). A band performed rock and roll through the different decades.

Following the Dew Drop Inn, I visited The Jazz Playhouse, where I sampled gator bites (they taste like chicken) and shrimp etouffee fries.

French Quarter

Brennan’s

Founded in 1946, Brennan’s elegant decor mimics that of a French Orangerie (an indoor orange grove) with soft green trellises framing pastel murals of 19th-century aristocrats. A black-and-white checkerboard-patterned floor, white pillars, and deep red leather chairs complete the look. I tried the turtle soup, which was thick with small pieces of meat, and the bananas foster, created at Brennan’s in New Orleans in 1951.

New Orleans shines as a culinary and cocktail destination. Treat your taste buds to all that it has to offer.

If you go:

• Visit Mardi Gras World for an insider’s view of Mardi Gras floats and the best King Cake.
• At Vue Orleans, you’ll learn the history and cultures of New Orleans.
• Check out the Sazerac House for a tour and tasting.

A new Amtrak service takes passengers twice daily between New Orleans and Mobile, Alabama.

Author’s Note: This trip was sponsored by New Orleans and Company, but all experiences shared in this article are personal.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you been to New Orleans or any of the southern states and tried some local bites? Which destination has your favorite foods? Do you favor sweet or savory foods?

I’m sure you’ve heard about the body positivity movement that’s been all the rage for the past few years. There are many women, especially social media influencers, who feel that it’s appropriate and acceptable to promote wearing whatever you want as long as you feel confident and love what you’re wearing regardless of body size.

Many women who support body positivity are heavier and may traditionally be viewed as unhealthy. However, they tend to debate the possibility that they are unhealthy because of body size.

Thus, there are many women, usually on the thinner side, who think it’s encouraging the world to accept fat as healthy.

And of course I have thoughts…

An Alternative to Body Positivity

Rather than debate the issue, I’ve chosen to delineate the two trains of thought. As a result, these are some of my thoughts:

You Choose What Works for You

I trust that individuals who believe in body positivity are able to practice the associated beliefs and it’s not my business. It is my opinion that people have a right to believe what they want to believe, wear what they want to wear, and I’m not going to judge.

I Choose What Works for Me

As someone who has been overweight most of my life, I personally know of the health risks, but I’m not going to judge your health. Instead, I’m going to focus on the body neutrality mindset and my health. That allows me to think about all the wonderful ways my body works for me while I also try to get healthier.

These two trains of thought let you be you, and me be me. And it’s without the need to argue, fight, or put others down.

We can all accept and have respect for our bodies in different ways.

Now Let’s Learn about Body Neutrality

Body neutrality focuses on respecting the body’s functions and capabilities rather than its appearance, viewing the body as a vessel for living life.

Key aspects include:

• shifting focus away from self-worth that’s based on appearance.
• practicing self-compassion and grace without the need to be a (traditional) beauty queen.
• promoting healthy living habits for your overall well-being.
• providing an alternative to body positivity by being more accessible for those who struggle with unconditional self-love, or for women dealing with chronic illness or body shame.

Key Principles of Body Neutrality for Aging Women

Body neutrality is perfect for aging women since we experience frequent changes in our bodies. Sometimes these changes are hard to accept. Learning to love yourself during menopausal years and beyond can be challenging – think about those saggy breasts and floppy batwings, not to mention weight gain and dry skin.

So, let’s look at the core principles of body neutrality for aging women and see how we can apply them during our grown-up years:

Focus on Function Over Form

Appreciate what your body can do, such as walking, breathing, or digesting, instead of how it looks.

Detach Self-Worth

Recognize that your value is not tied to your physical appearance. This mindset shift will allow you to have a neutral stance on your body image.

Realistic Self-Appreciation

It’s okay not to love every part of your body; the goal is to be respectful and not self-critical.

Acceptance of Change

Acknowledge that bodies naturally change over time and that this is normal, rather than viewing it as a negative.

How Body Neutrality is Going to Help You in Your Grown-up Years

How do you like that I keep calling these our “grown-up years?” I’ll share more about this in a separate article, but my daddy used to tell me I finally sounded like I was “growing up” … when I got into my 50s and 60s! He was a funny man! He found it hard to think of my sister and me as adults even as he approached 90!

Anyway, back to the topic at hand.

If you adopt a mindset of body neutrality, you’ll be able to worry less and celebrate more as you begin to develop improved body confidence. These are 10 examples of changes you’ll notice in your attitude toward your body:

1. You’ll be able to celebrate what your body can do for you rather than what you can no longer do because of your body.
2. You’ll learn to exercise because it feels good and provides you with energy, not because you feel pressured to achieve a certain look.
3. You’ll be able to practice mindful movement such as yoga, tai chi, and stretching to calm your mind and body rather than to keep up with trends.
4. You’ll learn to be more patient and compassionate with yourself because you genuinely trust that it’s normal for your body to change, especially as you age.
5. You’ll begin to prioritize your well-being by focusing on being healthy and nourishing your body with a balanced diet instead of focusing only on appearance.
6. You’ll be able to challenge negative thoughts about your body because you know your body is doing amazing things for you.
7. You’ll be able to choose clothes that fit well and make you feel comfortable without worrying about a size label.
8. You’ll be able to practice mindful consumption by curating your social media feed to reduce exposure to unrealistic beauty standards.
9. You’ll be able to connect with positive people who love and accept you for who you are, not for how you look.
10. You’ll send a quiet, positive message to those around you that physical appearance is not connected to a person’s worth and it’s only a small part of who they are!

Psychologist Susan Albers with the Cleveland Clinic encourages women to make peace with their bodies.

“Body neutrality is a middle-of-the-road approach between body positivity and body negativity,” says Dr. Albers. “As the term suggests, it is neither loving nor hating your body. It’s based on the notions of acceptance and having respect for one’s body rather than love.”

I think this is an excellent summary of the body neutrality mindset. If you want to talk more about it, reach me at susan@sassysisterstuff.com.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

How have you felt about your body in the past? As you have aged, have your feelings changed? Would you say your current mindset about your body draws on the principles of body neutrality or something else? What are your thoughts about body positivity vs body neutrality? Have you participated in any conversations about this topic? Please leave your thoughts in the comments. I’d love to hear from you!