Author: Admin01

When women tell me they’re “not good with money,” they don’t say it lightly.

They say it with the weight of decades behind it, stories of financial ups and downs, cultural messages about what women “should” be like, and shame that has quietly taken root over time.

But here’s the truth: being “good with money” isn’t real. It’s a myth that has held so many women back from building the financial confidence they deserve.

Jan’s Story

Jan, 69, spent her entire adult life believing she wasn’t “good with money.” Her husband had always handled the bills, the savings, the investments. She managed the household, raised the kids, and worked part-time, but when it came to anything with a dollar sign attached, she stayed on the sidelines.

When her husband passed away, she inherited not just their accounts, but a lifetime of doubt. She was intelligent, capable, and resourceful, but that old story played on a loop in her head: “You’re not good with money.”

She told me, “I feel like I’m already behind, like I should have known this decades ago.”

Sound familiar?

Where the Myth Comes From

The idea of being “good with money” is rarely about actual skill. It’s usually about:

Early Messages

Many women grew up hearing that men handle finances and women handle the home.

Cultural Narratives

For years, ads, banks, and workplaces sent the same message: “This isn’t your domain.”

Perfectionism

If you make a mistake, it “proves” you’re not good at it. But if you do well, it’s “just luck.” Add to this the idea that in order to be safe, we have to be perfect… it all adds up.

Lack of Safe Practice

If you were never invited into financial decision-making, how would you build practice and confidence?

This myth isn’t just wrong, it’s dangerous. It convinces capable, smart women to sit on the sidelines of their own financial lives.

Why the Myth Hits Hard After 60

For many women, their 60s bring massive financial transitions: retirement, widowhood, caregiving, downsizing, supporting adult children.

In these moments, old stories can feel louder than ever. Instead of seeing what they can learn and build now, many women freeze, because the myth whispers: “It’s too late for you.”

That voice is a lie.

You’re not “bad” with money. You’re simply new to parts of it you weren’t encouraged, or allowed, to touch.

How the “Good with Money” Myth Shows Up

You might not say the words out loud, but here’s how it often sounds in everyday life:

• “I’m just not a numbers person.”
• “I don’t want to mess it up.”
• “I wish I’d been better with money when I was younger.”
• “I can’t learn this stuff now.”

These aren’t signs of incompetence. They’re signs of internalized narratives.

The Real Skill That Matters: Trusting Yourself

The goal isn’t to become some flawless financial expert overnight. The real power lies in learning to trust yourself with money decisions.

That means:

• Giving yourself permission to ask “beginner” questions.
• Knowing you can learn new skills at any age.
• Believing your financial future isn’t defined by your past.
• Making choices that reflect your values, not someone else’s expectations.

A Simple Tool: Rewriting the Script

Next time you hear yourself say “I’m not good with money,” try this short, powerful exercise:

1. Catch the script: Notice the moment the thought shows up.
2. Name the myth: Say (aloud or in your head), “That’s the old story talking.”
3. Replace it with a truth: For example:
   • “I’m learning to trust myself with money.”
   • “I can learn new skills at any age.”
   • “I’ve done hard things before, I can do this, too.”

This isn’t about toxic positivity. It’s about interrupting a narrative that isn’t serving you anymore.

Small Actions That Build Confidence

Confidence isn’t something you wait for, it’s something you build.

A few small steps that can help:

• Open and read one statement or bill you’ve been avoiding.
• Ask one question about something you don’t fully understand.
• Make one money decision, no matter how small.
• Talk openly with someone safe about your financial hopes or fears.

Each small act builds evidence that you can trust yourself.

Letting Go of “Good” or “Bad”

You don’t have to be “good with money.”

You just need to be in relationship with your money. To know where it is, what it’s doing, and how it aligns with your needs (or doesn’t).

The myth of “good or bad” keeps people frozen. Real power comes from curiosity, care, and courage.

Closing Thoughts

If you’ve carried the “I’m not good with money” story for years, or decades, you’re not broken, behind, or too late.

You’re just ready to write a new chapter.

Want to learn more about rewriting money stories and healing financial shame? Read more here.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What money myth have you been influenced by? Does it still resurface now and then? How do you counter it?

Is this actually the end?

Relocating after 60 is about much more than changing your address. It’s a journey of self-discovery, renewal, and embracing life with fresh eyes. Maybe you’ve chosen a quiet town in Latin America, a seaside village in Europe, or a bustling cultural hub in Asia. Each of these choices comes with beauty, challenges, and a simple but powerful question:

Are you comfortable in your own skin – and in your new surroundings?

Finding that sense of ease abroad doesn’t happen the moment your plane lands. It takes time. It’s about rediscovering who you are at this stage of life while opening your heart to new people, rhythms, and experiences.

Step One: Be Kind to Yourself

After decades of building a career, raising a family, and navigating life’s twists and turns, starting fresh can feel daunting. But remind yourself: you bring wisdom, resilience, and strength with you. You don’t need to reinvent yourself. You only need to embrace who you already are, fully and without apology.

There will be moments that test your patience. Perhaps you struggle with the local language, or you find yourself alone in a café while families laugh together nearby. These are not signs of failure. They are reminders that you are brave enough to step outside your comfort zone. Speak gently to yourself and allow space for mistakes. Growth often hides in the most humbling moments.

While many guides focus on reducing stress during a move, real comfort abroad comes not only from calmness, but from feeling at ease in who you are – no matter the setting.

Step Two: Learn the Local Rhythm

True belonging comes when you begin to feel the heartbeat of your new home. Go beyond the expat groups and practice living as the locals do. Notice the small details. Do people greet each other warmly on the street? Do they take long, lingering lunches, or move quickly through their days? How do they celebrate holidays, honor traditions, and welcome strangers?

Engage with curiosity. Shop at open-air markets. Join in at a local festival, even if you feel a bit out of place at first. Learn simple greetings in the local language – a smile and a few kind words can bridge gaps faster than you imagine. With each step, you’ll discover that respect and openness invite friendship.

Planning gets you there. But once the suitcases are unpacked, the deeper journey begins: settling into your own skin in a place that is both new and unfamiliar.

Step Three: Find Your People

At the same time, it’s important to find a few trusted souls who see the world as you do. These friends may be locals who share your values or fellow expats who understand the challenges of building a new life later in life. Don’t worry about the size of your circle. Sometimes two or three meaningful connections are more nourishing than a dozen casual ones.

Even if you move with a spouse, partner, or friend, there will be times when you are navigating new ground on your own. Feeling at home abroad begins with feeling at home in yourself.

These are the people who will lift your spirits when you feel homesick and celebrate your victories when you take bold steps. Together, you’ll weave threads of belonging that make your new life feel less foreign – and more like home.

Step Four: Balance Teaching and Learning

By the time you’ve reached this stage of life, you have gathered a lifetime of knowledge. But living abroad is also an invitation to be a student again. Offer your wisdom freely but balance it with humility and curiosity.

Perhaps you share your favorite recipe with a neighbor and, in return, learn to cook their traditional dish. Maybe you explain an expression in English while they teach you a local saying that carries layers of meaning. These exchanges create bonds that are richer than any sightseeing tour.

Step Five: Take Your Time

Adjusting to a new country takes longer than most people expect. It is not a race. Some days will feel easy and joyful, while others may bring tears or frustration. Allow yourself to move at your own pace. Celebrate small wins: a successful conversation at the market, the first time you navigate the bus system alone, or simply recognizing a familiar face on your morning walk.

Beyond visas, housing, and healthcare, there are softer truths we often overlook – the quiet moments of uncertainty, the need for belonging, and the courage to keep showing up until a place begins to feel like home.

The Heart of It All

Ultimately, feeling at home abroad starts from within. When you embrace who you are, treat yourself kindly, and open your heart to new cultures and connections, something shifts. You stop feeling like a guest and begin becoming part of the story.

Moving abroad after 60 is not only about geography. It’s about rediscovering yourself in a new light – confident, curious, and very much alive. And when you find comfort in your own skin, you’ll discover that home is not just a place. It’s a feeling that travels with you.

If you’re ready to explore the practical side of settling in abroad – with checklists, reflection prompts, and community tips – visit our guide for silver nomads and retirees.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Is relocation on your radar? Are you looking at moving abroad or somewhere closer? What’s most important to you when building a new life someplace new?

Life has a way of stirring up an array of uncomfortable thoughts and questions, especially as we get older. Just when we thought we had things neatly organized and our past tucked away where it belongs, we’re hit with the dreaded, “What if?”

Women in particular often find themselves reflecting on the choices they made – or didn’t make – earlier in life.

Thoughts about careers, children, lifestyle choices, missed adventures, or dreams set aside for practical reasons can settle in like unwelcome guests.

What if,

• I’d gotten that degree?
• Pursued that career?
• I’d spent more time with family?

But as disconcerting as these thoughts and questions can be, they can also be great teachers and serve a larger purpose.

Mid-to-later life doesn’t need to be about staring backwards at all the closed doors. Instead, it can be the first time that the pathway to those doors is obvious, and the doors unlocked.

Sounds a little too Pollyanna?

Let’s explore.

Why Regrets and What-Ifs Are Loudest During Second Half of Life

Before we consider where we place and how we use those nagging thoughts, let’s talk about why they’re so loud right now.

In our 20s and 30s, life feels big and somewhat overwhelming. We’re dealing with the now and the urgent and believe there’s time to handle tomorrow’s problems tomorrow.

That’s not wrong, by the way. During those years it’s all about moving forward, getting established, and maintaining stability, sanity, and balance.

The choices you make, for better or worse, are the right ones for you and your family in those moments.

However, once we reach our 50s and 60s, our perception of time changes.

It’s like looking at the instant replay in a football game. From this vantage point, you can see things in a new light and think, “Oh, why didn’t I run that play differently?!”

This is when regrets can be triggered.

For women in particular, midlife years can amplify these feelings because of the truly pronounced transitions they experience.

• Children leave home.
• Marriage or relationships change.
• Menopause comes and goes.
• Retirement settles.
• Health concerns emerge.

And society doesn’t help, as it so often places a premium on youth vs. experience.

So, women can find themselves feeling displaced, lacking relevance, and with more time than is healthy to reflect on the roads not taken.

BUT – it doesn’t need to be like that. In fact, it absolutely should not be like that.

Reframing Regret as a Teacher

The first step in processing regret and “what ifs” is to shift your perspective.

Let’s look at some examples.

If You Regret Not Traveling More

It highlights the value you place on exploration and your curiosity about the world.

If You Regret Not Pursuing a Particular Career

Look at the aspects of that career choice that were most alluring to you. This shows the areas of work that are most meaningful to you and you can figure out ways to explore them now.

If You Regret Not Spending Enough Time with Family or Friends

The emotional elasticity of most people is pretty impressive, especially when it comes to family. So, this regret can serve as a direct call to action for prioritizing those relationships and reversing the impact of prior choices.

My point?

Once you see the value beneath the regret, you can actively find ways to honor that value now.

As a practical exercise for understanding these things more clearly, try the following:

• Write down the regret that’s weighing on you.
• Ask yourself, “What is this regret revealing about what’s important to me?”
• Brainstorm how you can focus on that value NOW, even if the original opportunity has passed.

Keep in mind that just because a specific opportunity or age of ability has passed, it doesn’t mean the value can’t be honored or that experience can’t be had. It just may be a bit different.

For instance, backpacking through Europe at 22 may now be touring Europe more comfortably at 60. Still fun and adventurous.

Turning “What Ifs” Into “What’s Next?”

Allowing yourself to embrace the excitement of “What’s next?” means first letting go of the emotional grip regrets can have on you.

So, to move forward effectively and with the least emotional weight possible, try employing these strategies.

Practice Self-Forgiveness and Compassion

As I mentioned earlier, when you were younger, you made the decisions you needed to make at that time. While hindsight may seem like 20/20, it’s not always fair.

Give yourself some grace and don’t let your current perspective color your past choices.

Share Your Story

Regrets thrive in silence. Telling your story to a friend, family member, or therapist can remove their power.

Create a Release Ritual

It may sound silly, but symbolically releasing your regrets can help you feel less burdened by them. It can also help you mark a turning point for moving forward.

Consider writing them down on slips of paper and then burning them or releasing them into water.

Focus on the “Yet”

Instead of saying, “I never tried that,” or “I never did that,” modify by adding “yet.”

“I haven’t done that – YET,” and “I haven’t tried that – YET” are much more powerful and optimistic.

Now that you’ve worked to let the “what ifs” go, your next step is to focus on what’s next by creating new experiences and planning for your future.

The following can help you get started.

Make a List of All the Things You’d Like to Try and Set a Calendar

If big things seem overwhelming, start small. Take a class, make some phone calls, do some research, or write a letter. Your approach will depend on your goal.

Set one goal for each month, and perhaps a larger goal (like travel) for each year.

Recruit Friends or Family to Join You (Or at Least Support You)

New adventures can be more exciting (and more likely to occur) when you have a partner and/or support from people you care about.

Surround Yourself with “Possibility” Thinkers

There’s a lot to be said for the influence the company you keep can have. Energy is contagious – both high and low energy.

Dealing with the regrets and “what ifs” that can occur during the second half of life isn’t about rewriting history. It’s about accepting the past, recognizing the value in the lessons, and determining the best way to move forward.

Regrets don’t have to cancel out potential, and they should be looked at as kindling for the fire that keeps your sense of self and excitement for the future alive.

Let’s Reflect:

Have you been dealing with life regrets? Have you found a way to process them and move forward? Please share your story and join the conversation.

There’s a lot more to it than you think.