Author: Admin01
The Fabrication of Female: Fighting Back, Being Real
“I’m sorry for being here.”
It is the ultimate statement of disempowerment; to apologize for not meeting society’s or someone’s expectations.
Trouble is, society’s expectations are whack-a-doodle.
Specifically, everywhere I turn, older women feel they are not beautiful, capable, and valued. What happened to the recognition and respect of a traditional matriarchal role in the family, communities, and society at large? When did we become useless and outdated?
How can we influence positive change in our self-perception and in the perceptions of those around us when our insane culture says the opposite?
Stupid Celebrities: I’m 60, Look 20, and You Should Too
Demi Moore, age 61, showed up at a Hollywood event looking about 30 years younger and the media went into orbit. Reporters, in a frenzy of besotted and unhinged devotion, said something like this: “OMG, how did she do that! She looks amazing! Who is her plastic surgeon, what did she drink (The Substance, maybe?) that’s incredible she must now be the example of beauty in every movie and play a woman half her age!”
And every woman watching stuck her head in the toilet. Yet again, we are not enough.
How can any woman compete with what amounts to either an unavailable substance that you probably have to sell your soul to get a hold of, or a plastic surgeon witch doctor who does injectable by-pass procedures that no one without a trillion dollars can achieve?
Then there is Pamela Anderson, who, in a blaze of brilliance, went without makeup to a Hollywood event and those same reporters held their head in their hands and doubled over screaming in an act of devastated worship. “Look how gorgeous she is with no makeup! OMG I’m in love with her strength and courage to stand up to Hollywood norms!”
If I went to an event with no makeup on, I’d be systematically catapulted out the back door.
Are We Bi-Polar?
We want perfection (even if it’s fabricated) to somehow reach the unreachable standards of the ever-shifting beauty ideal, but we want to be liberated, independent, and taken seriously without a lot of effort. Having said that, how many personal trainers, dieticians, nail technicians, hairdressers, makeup artists, and certified Botox injectors are standing at the ready for every supposed flaw to be eradicated at a moment’s notice for poor Demi?
What level of fabrication and insanity are we talking about here and why the constant attack on aging? Why can’t we age, why do we have to be fake to be accepted?
Men Are Women, Men Can Have Babies, Women Are Men and Don’t Argue with Me
My oldest daughter’s best friend is transitioning into a man, and his boyfriend is transitioning into a woman. I honor and respect the dysmorphia of not feeling at home in your body and how much having changed your appearance and gender helps you feel yourself. I cannot imagine what that must be like and how consequential it is that current technologies can help those who have experienced this.
Having said that with compassion and respect, all of this brings up an important question.
If we are to support other ideas of what is a ‘woman’, but in our support we then minimize the traditional form of it, is that reasonable? What happened to valuing the archetypical woman who cares for her family, cooks real meals, attends parent-teacher meetings, and dyes her hair purple when she retires?
What happened to the enormously valuable role that a traditional female plays in society, and why are we subjecting that to subgroups, even when that subgroup plays a valuable role in empowering specific people?
What happened to altruism for ourselves and our granddaughters who might choose a more traditional life? Why, if men can be women and men can have babies, does that somehow minimise or even nullify biological women?
Perhaps I could again highlight Hollywood. The quantity of films where the female lead kicks-ass, wields a weapon, and leads the men has exponentially expanded. Movies where a traditional woman is represented are not only unavailable, but seen as dowdy and oppressive. There are exceptions, but they are rare. Everywhere I turn, the conventional family is subliminally degraded and along with that a time-honored display of feminine contribution.
So, let me get this straight. A man can be a woman, have babies, and a woman can use a machine gun without a second thought (or emotion), but a woman cannot be a stay-at-home mother in a classic marriage and devote herself to her children.
Again, my head is in the toilet.
I Don’t Matter, You Do
One of my heroes is my grandmother, Mildred (we called her Mickey). She cooked over a wood stove, grew her own fruits and vegetables, cut the head off the chicken for dinner, and raised 3 boys with little to no help from my grandfather. She was tough, loving, and knew how to give you a piece of her mind. And, boy, did she make a mean apple pie. I can still smell it.
Without Mickey, my dad wouldn’t have become the amazing, kind, and committed man that he is. She was adored and valued, even if grandpa never really saw her. I’m not saying those days were better, on the contrary, I am saying we are throwing the baby out with the bathwater. As a single mom with two grown daughters, my goal was that they become self-sufficient, strong, and clear minded women who can make good choices.
Now that I am on the other side of that momentous task, who am I? Am I valued as an older woman with a wealth of life experience ready to share what I know to those around me? Or, for example, would a company rather hire someone with less life-experience that will do the job for not only less money (because they are younger), but with less pushback.
Because I will push back, I have learned my value.
Which begs the question, why as a society are we compulsively devaluing the bedrock of our children’s support system, and systematically telling them not to follow in our footsteps? We are telling them they have options, but not the option to be regular. They can fabricate (or define) their sex, their gender, and their appearance with the applause of others, but these options also can communicate the “you are not enough as you are” message.
A qualifying statement: this isn’t about sexual orientation. It’s about the minimization of a classical female archetype. Love whom you love, create the life you were born to live. I applaud authenticity at every level, what I do not applaud is the obvious discredit of the traditional family.
Love the Mirror
What can we do?
For starters, pull your head out of the toilet, and eat a cheeseburger (or something like that). Then go to the mirror, look into your eyes and repeat: I love you (your name), about 20 times. While you do this, put both hands on your throat, because the throat is not only where your voice is located, it is the center of change in the body. Find your voice, find your love. While self-love is not a catch-all solution, it is a starting point in developing personal value.
The world is trying to tell you that you are not valuable, and it is a lie. The only way out of this debacle is for each one of us to give voice to values like equality, justice, and of course, love. No one can tell you who you are, but that doesn’t stop them from trying.
Let’s Reflect Together:
Why do you think we are so willing to backtrack on our own personal values because we are not meeting supposed expectations? Because we are not ‘fabricated’ enough? If you found your voice in this moment, what would you communicate to those around you? Can you love all and in turn be loved and accepted by those same people? What does equality for females look like now?
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Spirituality: A Pathway to Inner Peace
In our fast-paced, stressful world of heavy traffic, long commutes, crowds of people, intense work demands, and constant bombardment with news of political upheaval and war, there is another way of looking at the world – a way that brings peace. This worldview is the haven that can be called spirituality. It unlocks a dimension of life beyond what we experience on the sensory and physical levels.
It is found inside us. It invites us to explore our inner depths and to find harmony – with ourselves, with others, and with the sublime forces that guide the universe. Spirituality can be a profound journey of self-discovery and enlightenment. It is a pathway to inner peace and fulfilment.
What Is Spirituality?
Spirituality begins with a feeling, a sense, or belief, that there is something greater than ourselves pervading the universe and us. We acknowledge that reality is more than what we perceive with our five puny senses. That greater energy, or force, is close to us, and if we reach out to it, it will contact us. Some of us find this easier than others do.
We are fortunate if we have a strong sense of the energy around us, but if we don’t, it is enough to believe that it is possible and reach out in faith. This reaching out to begin a relationship with the ultimate is the beginning of spirituality. In The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself, Michael A. Singer describes this process in an easily understood exposition.
What Spirituality Is Not
Spirituality is not synonymous with adherence to any specific religious worldview. Religions are organized systems of ideas and rituals whose purpose is to engage with the divine in a form understood by their adherents. They are usually practised in groups. These systems can be a uniting force in a community, and they encourage individuals to find the numinous in a form they can understand and accept.
person can be religious without being spiritual – a zealous adherent to a religious system who has no personal relationship with the ultimate. As Eckhart Tolle states in The Power of Now, “Being spiritual has nothing to do with what you believe and everything to do with your state of consciousness.” Neither does it require renunciation of the material world. Rather, it encourages a balanced perspective that integrates spiritual insights into daily life.
How to Be Spiritual
Becoming spiritual involves a journey inward; it’s a process of self-exploration and reflection. We take this journey accompanied by our higher self – that is, the calm and compassionate version of ourselves that is above the fray of everyday life. I like to think of mine as my awesome best friend.
Practices such as meditation, mindfulness, yoga, contemplation, prayer, or spending time in nature facilitate this inner journey by connecting us with our inner selves and the universal energy in the natural world. Examining ourselves and our belief systems and being honest with ourselves are also important. They lead to deeper understanding of ourselves and to inner transformation and positive growth. This path, then, is a way to become a mature human being.
Spirituality is all about living life in personal companionship with the universal force that flows through everything. This makes us strong, because nature is strong. Often nature seems it is being cruel to be kind. The herd of deer remains young, healthy and strong because the predators keep it that way. The forest is renewed when lightning strikes, setting it ablaze.
Spirituality helps us learn to accept the big picture and act as does nature when necessary. For instance, all creatures act in self-defence, and so may we. All creatures are first concerned with their own safety and well-being, and so should we be. We can’t support others unless we are strong ourselves.
Spirituality’s inner journey has been a source of comfort and inspiration to millions of people. In my experience, those who take this narrow path discover that it works. Spiritual people find that we are loved unconditionally by the universe that produced us, and we are called to develop the better side of our nature to create a world of peace for ourselves and those around us.
The Benefits of Spirituality
Embracing spirituality can yield profound benefits for individuals and communities alike. On a personal level, it fosters inner peace and resilience in the face of adversity. It gives a deeper sense of purpose as we train ourselves to live a life full of love on all levels. It promotes mental and emotional well-being by reducing stress, anxiety, and depression.
Spirituality also enhances interpersonal relationships by fostering empathy, compassion, and understanding. We accept the people around us with the unconditional love we experience from the universe. This spills over into our relationships with our community and the society around us.
Studies suggest that spiritual practices can positively impact physical health, immune function and overall longevity. Researchers at Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health say, “Spirituality should be incorporated into care for both serious illness and overall health.” The Oxford Textbook of Spirituality in Healthcare makes it clear that spirituality is being taken very seriously by the medical profession.
In his book The Road Less Travelled, M. Scott Peck observes, “The whole course of human history may depend on a change of heart in one solitary and even humble individual—for it is in the solitary mind and soul of the individual that the battle between good and evil is waged and ultimately won or lost.” This is the choice we are here to make. The Awakened Brain: The New Science of Spirituality and the Quest for an Inspired Life by Lisa J. Miller, a New York Times bestselling author, makes that same point, backing it up with scientific evidence.
Questions to Reflect on:
What is the relationship you have with the ultimate? Have you found a spiritual community? Are you a happy person?
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Soft Adventures for Women Over 50 – Hiking, Kayaking, and More!
Adventure doesn’t have to mean scaling mountains or diving into the deepest oceans. For women over 50, soft adventures offer the perfect way to stay active, explore new destinations, and connect with nature without pushing physical limits too far.
Whether you’re a seasoned traveler or just beginning to expand your horizons, these activities can provide the right balance of challenge and relaxation.
Let’s explore some popular soft adventure options that are perfect for women over 50.
Hiking – Explore Scenic Trails at Your Own Pace
Hiking is an excellent way to discover the great outdoors while maintaining control over your activity level. From leisurely walks through sprawling meadows to moderate hikes in national parks, there are trails to suit every fitness level.
Why It’s Perfect: Hiking offers flexibility. Depending on your comfort level, you can choose short, flat paths or more challenging terrain. Plus, the health benefits are endless – improved cardiovascular health, better balance, and even stress reduction.
Read 4 Hiking Outfits for Women Over 50.
Top Spots to Try Hiking:
Sedona, Arizona, USA: Famous for its red rock formations and mild weather, Sedona offers trails ranging from easy to moderate.
Banff National Park, Alberta, Canada: Experience spectacular alpine landscapes and calm lakes on well-maintained trails.
https://parks.canada.ca/pn-np/ab/banff/activ/randonnee-hiking
Acadia National Park, Maine, USA: Coastal views and forested trails provide a diverse hiking experience.
https://www.alltrails.com/parks/us/maine/acadia-national-park
Read How I Learned to Hike Solo while Staying Safe on the Trails.
Also, read Exploring the Great Outdoors: 10 Best Hiking Apps.
Kayaking – Glide Through Tranquil Waters
Kayaking is a low-impact activity that combines physical exercise with the chance to enjoy beautiful aquatic environments. Whether you’re paddling through calm lakes or exploring gentle coastal waters, kayaking lets you soak up nature at a leisurely pace.
Why It’s Perfect: This activity strengthens your upper body and core while offering a peaceful way to explore waterways. It’s easy to learn and doesn’t require advanced fitness levels.
Top Spots to Try Kayaking:
Maine’s Coastline, USA: Paddle along rocky shores and explore hidden coves.
Lake Tahoe, California/Nevada, USA: Crystal-clear waters surrounded by mountains create an unforgettable experience.
Read You Are a Born Mover, so Move!
Biking – Pedal Through Beautiful Landscapes
Cycling is another fantastic option for soft adventure. You can enjoy flat bike paths through lovely countryside or find guided tours in cultural destinations.
Why It’s Perfect: Cycling offers a mix of cardio and low-impact exercise while allowing you to cover more ground than hiking. Electric bikes are also an option for those who prefer an extra boost.
Read 6 Best Women’s E-bikes for Over 70s Under $1000.
Top Spots to Try Cycling:
Danube Bike Trail, Europe: This iconic route offers gentle rides along the river through Austria, Germany, and beyond.
https://www.eurobike.at/en/cycle-paths/danube-cycle-path
Cape Cod Rail Trail, Massachusetts, USA: Enjoy coastal scenery and charming towns along this well-maintained path.
https://www.capecodchamber.org/things-to-do/outdoor-and-water-activities/biking/bike-paths
Tuscany, Italy: Explore rolling hills, vineyards, and medieval towns on two wheels.
https://www.visittuscany.com/en/interests/cycling
Read 5 Myths About Group Bike Rides That May Be Holding You Back
Snorkeling – Discover Underwater Wonders
Snorkeling is a gentle yet awe-inspiring activity for those who love the ocean but prefer staying near the surface. Explore coral reefs, swim among colorful fish, and enjoy warm, clear waters.
Why It’s Perfect: Snorkeling requires minimal equipment and training, making it accessible for everyone. It’s also a great way to enjoy marine life without needing scuba certification.
Top Spots to Try Snorkeling:
Great Barrier Reef, Australia: Witness one of the world’s most iconic natural wonders.
Hanauma Bay, Hawaii, USA: Known for its calm waters and vibrant marine life.
Belize Barrier Reef: Explore the world’s second-largest reef system in a laid-back setting.
https://www.islandexpeditions.com/belize-vacations-blog/guide-snorkeling-belize-barrier-reef
Read How Swimming Can Be a Great Activity for Women Over 60.
Yoga Retreats – Relax and Rejuvenate in Nature
If you’re looking for an adventure with a focus on mindfulness and relaxation, consider a yoga retreat. Many retreats combine yoga sessions with light activities such as nature walks or paddleboarding.
Why It’s Perfect: Yoga retreats allow you to prioritize self-care while exploring beautiful destinations. You’ll leave feeling refreshed both mentally and physically.
Top Spots to Try a Yoga Retreat:
Bali, Indonesia: A haven for yoga enthusiasts with its lush landscapes and peaceful vibes.
https://www.bookyogaretreats.com/all/d/asia-and-oceania/indonesia/bali
Read Bali for Over 60s – A Journey of Serenity and Adventure.
Sedona, Arizona, USA: Known for its spiritual energy and breathtaking scenery.
Tulum, Mexico: Beachfront retreats that combine yoga with wellness programs.
https://www.bookyogaretreats.com/all/d/the-americas-and-caribbean/mexico/tulum
Read 9 Yoga Retreats for Women Over 50.
Paddle Boarding – Find Balance on the Water
Stand-up paddle boarding (SUP) offers a unique way to enjoy calm lakes, rivers, or coastal areas while working on your balance and core strength. This activity is versatile and can be adapted for beginners or more experienced adventurers.
Why It’s Perfect: Paddle boarding is gentle on the joints and offers a full-body workout. It’s also meditative, as the rhythmic paddling helps you connect with nature.
Top Spots to Try Paddle Boarding:
Lake Powell, Arizona/Utah, USA: Explore the dramatic canyons and calm waters of this stunning reservoir.
https://lakepowellpaddleboards.com
Florida Keys, Florida, USA: Calm, clear waters make it ideal for paddle boarding beginners.
https://paddlethefloridakeys.com/
Whitsunday Islands, Australia: Paddle around beautiful beaches and coral reefs in this tropical paradise.
https://www.whitsundaystanduppaddle.com.au/
Soft Adventures – Tips for Getting Started
- Start Small: If you’re new to outdoor activities, begin with short excursions and gradually increase the intensity.
- Join a Group: Many organizations offer soft adventure tours tailored to women over 50, providing camaraderie and support.
Read 7 Best Senior Travel Groups.
- Pack Smart: Invest in comfortable gear such as proper footwear, moisture-wicking clothing, and sunscreen.
Read 15 Must-Have Accessories for Adventure Travelers Over 50.
- Listen to Your Body: Always prioritize your health and well-being. Don’t hesitate to take breaks or modify activities as needed.
Soft adventures provide the ideal opportunity to stay active, meet like-minded travelers, and discover the beauty of nature. With so many options to choose from, you’re sure to find activities that match your interests and comfort level. So why not step outside and try something new?
Read Fitness After 50 Isn’t About the Number on a Scale.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
What type of soft adventures do you like to practice? Where are your favorite spots? Want to share your ideas with our Sixty & Me readers? Tell us all about it in the comments section below.
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