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Originally posted at: Heather Dubrow’s Black Sunglasses

No one likes rejection. I certainly don’t. That pesky thing called ego makes it really hard to swallow the humble pill when you hear the word “No.”

No, you weren’t successful on this occasion. No, you weren’t picked. No, I just don’t love you anymore.

No can also be sliced, baked and sugar coated to not seem as harsh, but it still means the same thing, and you are left dealing with the sting of rejection whilst putting on a brave face… or not. For some people, that sting can linger, stirring up emotions or memories that run deeper than the moment itself. Perhaps you find it hard to control your emotions and suddenly you are full pelt ugly crying, the type of cry where you let everything out and you just can’t stop it, snot and the lot!

Or maybe you get a bit angry or defensive and then look for all the reasons to shift the blame on the other person, situation or event. If only they… If only it was like this… You replay all the alternative versions in your head and convince yourself that it could have been different.

After the initial sadness, hurt, frustration or anger dissipates, what’s left, and how you react, is key to your own mental well-being.

A Great Example – or Not

I remember going for a job interview. It was something I had lots of experience in, and the job title was a grade or two below what I would normally go for (although job titles vary these days). I had years of experience doing the exact thing they wanted me to do: writing copy, editing, sending email campaigns, and managing social media. I knew I was more than capable of doing the role.

On the interview day, I walked into a very welcoming environment and was greeted by two younger women. We chatted away while they asked various questions. The rapport was great, and I felt it generally went well. After the interview, I was led to a small room to complete a 30-minute short task. I had to take information from an article and create an email newsletter event and then proofread a document.

Before I knew it, the coordinator walked back in and advised that time was up, and I didn’t even get to the proofreading section! She gave me five minutes extra, and I whizzed through the document in a couple of minutes in a panic.

Despite this, I was convinced that through the interview and the hope that I managed to spot as many errors as possible, it would have sufficed.

I came out feeling really good about the interview, not so good about the task, but still quietly confident.

Needless to say, it didn’t suffice, and I got the news from the agency the next day, who let me down in the gentlest way. Apparently, my answers were too vague, and they would have expected me to score higher in the task as this was a fundamental part of the role.

What Comes After Rejection

Well, that was a knock in the teeth, and suddenly the old limiting beliefs of “I’m not good enough,” “I’m not clever enough,” “I’m crap at my job” resurfaced, stemming from rejections in relationships, work and life in general, spanning a lifetime of my existence.

It’s funny how quickly those old stories can creep back in, even when you think you’ve moved past them.

Over the years, we will all face rejection at some point, but how we deal with it can make the difference between reopening old wounds that haven’t healed or using it as data to improve ourselves and empower us in the long run.

It’s never nice to receive a knockback, but I truly believe that everything happens for a reason. It didn’t work out because it wasn’t meant to, and you were meant to go down a different path or learn something valuable from it.

So, after the initial shock and pain, how can you use rejection to your advantage?

1. Feel It

Take time to process your feelings. How are you feeling? Angry, upset, embarrassed? Be aware of what is showing up and journal on this to dig deeper. Ask yourself: What am I feeling now? Why? Have I felt this way before? If so, when? Does it go back further?

2. Learn from It

Once your initial feelings wear down, it’s time to look at your learnings. Even when the outcome isn’t what you hoped or imagined, what can you take from it? If you can’t see anything, dig deeper. Did it give you more experience? Did it make you work out what you want? Did it make you realise what you don’t want?

Keep journalling until you can find something positive you can take away from the situation. We can all learn something. For example, I learnt from the interview that I need to manage my time better and let go of trying to perfect something that was really about progress, not polish.

3. Reframe It

Now reframe your setback, because this doesn’t define who you are. Rejection can be difficult to cope with, but it does not form the rest of your story. There are so many more bright chapters to come.

Here’s an example of a reframe:

“Every ‘no’ clears space for the right ‘yes’. I wasn’t rejected; I was being re-routed toward where I’m meant to grow.”

4. Refocus It

Now you are aware of your feelings, learnings and have reframed the rejection, it’s time to refocus your energy. Ask yourself: What’s one small step I can take next?

Here are a few examples:

• If work or volunteering didn’t go as planned, explore opportunities that truly value your experience and voice.
• If love or friendship has changed, turn that space into time for yourself and reconnect with what lights you up. Join a group, travel solo or do something that makes you feel vibrant again.
• If life feels different to how you imagined, use this moment to rediscover purpose, joy or a new adventure.

Rejection is never easy, but instead of letting it haunt you or define your future, let it be a great lesson that helps you shape the life you want.

And as author, speaker, athlete and veteran Steve Maraboli reminds us, rejection is often a stepping stone in the right direction:

“Every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being redirected to something better.”

If You Need Further Help

If you’re ready to turn your setback into a fresh start, I offer a free 30-minute Discovery Call where we’ll talk about what’s been holding you back, the changes you’re craving, and how to move forward with more confidence and clarity. It’s a relaxed, no-pressure chat and just a chance to focus on you and what’s next.

Let’s have a conversation.

Have you ever faced a rejection that turned out to be redirection? What did it teach you about yourself? Share your thoughts below, sometimes a simple conversation is all it takes to start seeing a “no” in a whole new light.

Ladies, I need to tell you about Sister René Parman, and I need you to sit down first because this woman is about to make every single one of your excuses evaporate like your husband’s ability to find things in the refrigerator.

Sister René just turned 105. Know how she celebrated? Not with a nice quiet cake. Not with a sensible nap. This absolute legend went golfing. GOLFING. And before you say “well, good for her,” let me hit you with the real kicker: she’s legally blind.

Yes, you read that right. This woman cannot see the ball, cannot see the hole, cannot see much of anything really, and she’s out there every single week playing golf like it’s no big deal. Meanwhile, some of us won’t drive after dark because the headlights are “too confusing.”

Passion and Friendship

Now, you might be thinking Sister René was some kind of golf prodigy who’s been playing since childhood. WRONG. This woman didn’t even pick up a club until she was in her 40s. Her golf instruction? And I quote: “Hit the ball.” That’s it. That was the entire lesson plan from her fellow sisters at the Humility of Mary convent. No seven-part video series. No $200-an-hour pro. Just “hit the ball.” She’s been doing exactly that for 65 years, which means she has literally been golfing longer than some of us have been alive. No pressure.

But here’s where it gets really good. Sister René doesn’t just casually golf despite being legally blind – she has a SYSTEM. She rolls up to Knoll Run Golf Course in Lowellville, Ohio, with her fellowship of slightly younger nuns (probably spring chickens in their 80s), and they act as her seeing-eye golf buddies. They tell her where the ball landed, how far to the hole, and she picks her club accordingly. As she puts it, “Without them, I could not golf.”

Honestly? This is friendship goals. Forget brunch – real friends tell you exactly how far your golf ball is from the hole when you can’t see it yourself.

How She Got to 105

When asked about her secret to living past 105, Sister René doesn’t credit some fancy Mediterranean diet or expensive supplements. Nope. It’s golf. “I love to do it, and I think it’s wonderful exercise. It’s the one thing that kept me going as well as I have.” So apparently the fountain of youth isn’t yoga, or Pilates, or whatever wellness influencers are selling this week. It’s having a passion for something and pursuing it with all you’ve got.

She also describes the golf course as “a wonderful place to be – very meditative.” While we’re all paying $30 a month for meditation apps that we forget to use, Sister René found enlightenment at the driving range for the price of a round of golf. This woman is out here living in 3025 while we’re stuck in 2025.

What Is Our Excuse?

Let’s be real for a second. If a 105-year-old woman who literally cannot see is getting out there weekly to do something she loves, what exactly is our excuse? “My knees hurt”? Sister René has knees that remember the Great Depression. “I don’t have time”? This woman has been a nun for 87 years – you think her schedule is empty? “I’m too old to learn something new”? SISTER RENÉ STARTED AT 40.

The beautiful thing about Sister René’s story isn’t just that she golfs despite being 105 and legally blind. It’s that she clearly gives zero consideration to what she “should” be doing at her age. Society says 105-year-olds should be sitting quietly somewhere, maybe doing a gentle crossword puzzle or waiting for life to end. Sister René says “hold my rosary beads” and heads to the golf course.

She’s not pretending the limitations aren’t there. She needs help, and she accepts it without shame. She can’t see, so her friends become her eyes. She’s adapted, found workarounds, and refused to let a little thing like being unable to see stop her from doing what brings her joy.

So here’s my challenge to every woman reading this: What’s your golf? What’s the thing you’ve been putting off because you’re “too old” or it’s “too late” or you “can’t” for whatever reason? Because I guarantee Sister René has a more legitimate excuse than you do, and she’s out there swinging anyway.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go sign up for that pottery class I’ve been saying I’ll take “someday.” Sister René has shamed me into it, and honestly, I’m not even mad about it.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What activity do you enjoy so much that you strive to do it as often as you can? In what ways does it enrich your life? Or do you instead find yourself making excuses to start anything new? What’s really stopping you from exploring a passion?

Do they get along?

Photo: @rhoc_emilysimpson

Style Stealers

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Originally posted at: Emily Simpson’s Green Corduroy Belted Mini Dress