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Originally posted at: Paige DeSorbo’s Cream Zip Up Vest and Mini Shorts

When it comes to creating your dream lifestyle after 60, what’s the first thing you do?

If you’re like many people from our generation, you may immediately jump into physical action. This often involves working hard, staying busy, and a lot of multitasking.

From the outside, it may look like you are making progress and accomplishing a lot.

But what if you’re confusing activity with accomplishment?

Most of us were raised and educated through a long-held societal belief that working hard, doing more, and sacrificing our fun until the job is done is how we accomplish our goals and fulfill our dreams.

For a time, that approach may have yielded results. But now, it will do more harm to our well-being and keep us further away from actualizing our dream lifestyle.

Without establishing a clear mental blueprint up front, our well-intentioned physical activity to achieve our desires will likely lead to frustration, burnout, and scattered results. None of which we can afford to experience at this stage of life.

What exactly is a mental blueprint?

And how do you reprogram your subconscious mind, eliminate self-doubt, and align your physical actions with an intentional vision to fulfill your desires for a new lifestyle?

We will answer these questions in our tenth article and video in a new, 12-part exclusive series for Sixty and Me readers titled “Visualize a Vibrant New Lifestyle After 60.”

An Architect’s Plan & Your Dream Lifestyle

To appreciate the value and importance of your mental blueprint, think of it like an architect’s plan. Before a house is built, the structure is carefully designed, visualized, and mapped out.

The same applies to planning your dream lifestyle.

If you are truly committed to having greater fulfillment, purpose, and abundance in your life after 60, creating a mental blueprint is vitally important. It not only helps reprogram your subconscious mind and eliminates self-doubt, but it also aligns your actions with an intentional vision.

Slow Down to Accelerate Progress

Creating a mental blueprint starts with visualizing your desires, but it doesn’t end there.

Physical activity is essential to manifesting your mental blueprint into your daily reality. But the physical effort we take through a mental blueprint is different than how most of us were taught to achieve our desired outcomes.

An effective mental blueprint is aligning your thoughts, emotions, and actions with your highest potential at this stage of life. This is where you take time to visualize your dreams internally and then you actualize them into a new external reality.

The key is to not get caught up in a flurry of physical activity right away, but to get clear on what you desire. This is about slowing downing in order to accelerate your progress.

5 Steps to Create Your Mental Blueprint

Vision Board

Create a vision board by collecting images, words, and symbols that represent your dreams and goals. Use magazines, printouts, or online resources to find visuals that resonate with you. You can arrange and glue them onto a board or you can choose to create a digital vision board using websites, PowerPoint slides, or online apps.

Guided Visualization

To get started, I recommend you go to YouTube, Spotify, or your favorite place for music and search for guided meditations. Type into the search box the guided meditation you want. If you want to attract more love or more abundance you can type in “guided meditations for love” or “guided meditations for abundance”.

• Once you have a guided meditation, find a space that is quiet and comfortable.
• Start your guided meditation and be sure to close your eyes.
• Imagine yourself living your dream lifestyle.
• Visualize the details, emotions, and sensations of living your desires.
• Pay attention to how it feels, looks, and sounds.
• Afterward, journal your experience.

Mind Mapping

A mind map begins with a central dream, which would be your primary desire for your dream lifestyle. Once you have that, create a mind map by branching out related ideas and subgoals.

Gratitude Journaling

Begin by expressing gratitude for the blessings in your life. Journal what you are grateful for, what you’ve already accomplished, and what steps you can take to move closer to your dream lifestyle. From there, reflect on what kind of lifestyle fits you and offer gratitude for that life being fulfilled, even if there is no visible evidence you’re living it right now.

Future Self Journaling

This realigns your present self with the person you are evolving into and is one of my favorite journal techniques. It involves writing a letter from your future self, addressing your current self.

• To do this, envision yourself as if you have already achieved your dream lifestyle.
• Provide guidance, encouragement, and advice to your present self.
• Reflect on the path you took and the lessons learned along the way.

Next Steps

Our next article and video, focuses on “8 Ways Self-Love Creates Your Dream Lifestyle.”

I invite you to join me in the video, where I will share “5 Immediate Benefits” to creating a mental blueprint. I will also guide you through three journal prompts to help you integrate what you are learning.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What steps are you excited to take in creating your mental blueprint to live your dream lifestyle?

It occurred to me, as I was watching a television program, that I was fussing about the behavior of the characters. I thought to myself, Why am I still watching this show when the characters get on my nerve? Why do I keep watching it? How is it that I haven’t turned it off?

And that’s how this particular reflection came to be.

We Indulge in Toxic Behaviors – And Relationships!

Why do we put ourselves through turmoil when we know it isn’t good for us? Someone said to me, “This happens all the time. People are constantly complaining about stuff on the internet that is bothering them or complaining about something in politics. Why continue to complain and indulge? Just stop indulging in it. Just move forward.”

This is the same concept that we can apply to indulging in toxic relationships. We make all types of excuses to justify why we can’t disengage. Let’s examine this in detail from a Christian perspective.

Disengaging from harmful behavior is a mix of emotional, spiritual, and relational factors. Here are a few reasons:

People Pleasing

Like many people, the fear of conflict keeps many of us from disengaging – fearing the reaction of a difficult person.

Guilt and Responsibility

Individuals may feel responsible for the other person’s happiness or spiritual state.

Hoping for Change

This one is huge. Many people don’t abandon toxic relationships because they actively hope the other person(s) will change, or the situation will change.

Making Excuses

Making an excuse that the other person is in pain and dealing with their own stuff is common.

Why You Should Disengage from Harmful Behavior

Continued engagement in harmful behavior is detrimental to your physical, mental, and spiritual health. Many people confuse helping with enabling. However, they are not the same. Helping supports growth and responsibility. Enabling, on the other hand, protects harmful behavior.

For example, giving money to someone is not always kind, especially if you know it might support addiction or dishonesty. Therefore, biblical wisdom is essential. Scripture teaches love with truth and boundaries. It calls believers to correct with patience, not to ignore sin. When asking what the Bible says about enabling, we see clear guidance. God values accountability. He also values compassion that leads to healing. As a result, believers must seek balance. Healthy love encourages repentance and growth.

What to Do Next to Disengage from Harmful Behavior

Letting go and moving forward is a deliberate process which includes stopping excuses, accepting your role in the situation, forgiving yourself, and removing emotional or physical triggers. Key strategies involve setting boundaries, engaging in new activities, and focusing on positive goals.

Steps to Move Forward to Leave Behind Harmful Behavior

#1: Identify the Problem

Recognize what is pulling you to the toxic behavior or relationship and actively decide to leave it behind. This includes letting go of the need to have the last word or wishing for a different past or outcome.

#2: Forgive and Accept

Stop ruminating on the past and forgive yourself (and others) for past actions. Acknowledge your role, accept it, and stop making excuses. Also keep in mind that forgiving does not mean putting yourself into the toxic relationship again.

#3: Create Physical/Mental Distance

Remove physical items that trigger memories of the harmful behavior or relationship. Change your routine and create new experiences to replace old ones.

#4: Focus on the Future

Rebuild your identity by engaging in new, positive activities and hobbies. Shift your focus to joy, hope, and personal growth.

#5: Plan

Clear boundaries, set a timeline for moving on. Jesus walked away from people on occasion, and he allowed them to walk away from him. Follow his example.

#6: Confronting Sin

The Bible tells us to confront sin. Stand up to bad behavior to protect your peace and joy in love.

#7: Leaving Room for God

Enabling stops someone from reaping what they sow, whereas detachment allows them to face consequences and potentially grow.

#8: Prioritizing Peace

When a situation remains toxic, it is often a sign to move on and trust God.

Jesus taught his disciples, “If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet” (Matthew 10:14). Therefore, like our Lord Jesus, we must learn to walk away so that we won’t be sidetracked from our mission. If a person is getting in the way of who God wants me to be and what he wants me to do, that person is toxic to me and I have permission to walk away.

Last, But Most Important

How do we stay engaged without trying to rescue or fix our loved ones? First, we begin with prayerful self-examination. We start by looking at our own stuff. We can begin by seeking God and asking him to reveal any areas of sin, lack of faith, or selfishness in our lives.

Staying engaged means working on and asking ourselves the hard questions. “What is the Lord teaching me right now? How is He transforming me? Am I learning to let go and trust Him? What sins do I need to confess to receive forgiveness and healing?”

James encourages us to confess our sins to each other. Are you controlling? Are you enabling? Are you manipulating? These are all good things to confess to the Lord and to someone you trust who can offer you godly wisdom and counsel.

Let go of any pride or concern about what people might think of you. We all stumble. We all fall. We all make poor choices.

As you pray, remember that your prayers are powerful and effective. They accomplish big things. By praying you can stay fully engaged in the life of your wayward loved one while disengaging from their drama and your constant need to react. You can let go of what you think is best for them. You can release your need to save and rescue them. You can stop obsessing and start rejoicing as you trust the Lord with their lives.

Finally, Seek Peace

When you come to the Lord in prayer and thanksgiving, he will grant you perfect peace, a peace that will guard your heart and protect your mind. A peace that only comes when we learn to let go and let God fight our battles for us.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What harmful behaviors do you indulge in? Do you watch the news too often or spend too much time on the social media? Have you ever enabled the bad behaviors of others? What toxic relationships have you found yourself in – and how did you explain them to yourself?

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With the summer months fast approaching, we should think of ways to use the weather – and outdoor pools – to our advantage. Sometimes it’s nice to lounge around in the water when the heat of summer is too much, but it’s also a fun way to get your heart pumping.

Water workouts are great for your body, so take some time this summer to get moving in your favorite pool. They just may be the key to better fitness after 50!

Get Prepared for Your Water Workouts

To get the best workout possible from your pool time, you’ll need more than your favorite swimsuit and some trusted goggles. Some workout tools may cost you some cash, but they’re a necessity if you’re looking to use the pool for a more long-term routine.

Water shoes, water gloves, weights and kickboards can all come in handy. Water shoes provide traction on the pool floor to keep you where you need to be, and water gloves can help you zoom through water. Styrofoam weights or kickboards increase the resistance of your routine.

Design Your Workout

Designing your workout is easier said than done, right? What are your options for working out in the water? As with most exercising, you’ll want to start with a warm-up. Just because your mind is ready to go doesn’t mean your muscles are. Before you get near the pool, take at least five minutes to take a quick walk or do some jumping jacks. The jumping jacks can also be done in the pool, but they must be done in chest-deep water.

Strengthen Those Muscles

If one of your workout goals is to make your muscles stronger, try doing some K-treads in the pool. It’s a fairly simple move – imagine moving your body into a K shape: your arms go out with your hands cupped, while one leg stays down and the other goes straight out. This move targets the back, chest, arms, butt, abs and hamstrings.

Tread water with your arms, switching to extend each leg every five seconds for a total of 30 seconds.

Get That Heart Pumping

Water gloves are a good tool for this next workout. Deep-water walking will get some cardio into your routine while focusing on strengthening your abs. The key to this exercise is to walk into chest-deep water, tighten your abdominal muscles and keep your back straight.

Once in position, walk while swinging your arms. If you need to, place a water noodle between your legs to help you stay above water if you walk into the deep end.

Tone Your Legs with this Water Workout

Because water workouts give excellent resistance, the pool is the perfect place to work on your legs. Once you’re standing in waist-deep water, swing your left leg forward quickly. Pull it back in, then swing it out to the side. Repeat this with both of your legs between 10 and 15 times. You’ll be feeling the burn in no time! Glass of water, anyone?

Remember to Rest

When working out in the pool, it can be easy to forget how far is too far. The buoyancy in water relieves aches and pains in the body, which makes it a great option for a workout, but it also means you have to be careful about knowing your limits.

People of all ages are advised to take to the pool to exercise for a variety of reasons. Exercising can be especially difficult for people with joint pains, but water exercise can help that.

In fact, there is a 19% decrease in pain after using an underwater treadmill instead of a traditional one. Even if you walk in the water without a treadmill, like the exercise mentioned above, you’ll notice an improvement in your ability to move and stretch without pain.

Once you’ve taken a moment to enjoy the benefits of the first half of your workout and get a sip of water, it’s time to get back in the pool!

Make Those Knees Work

Swim out to the part of the pool that’s about waist-deep. Bring your right knee up to a 90-degree angle, then put your foot back down on the floor. Repeat with your left knee. Continue at a faster pace for about two minutes. When performing vertical exercises in the pool, you’ll experience 75% more resistance because of the increased drag on your limbs.

Strengthen Your Arms

Don’t leave the pool without focusing on your arms. Stand in chest-deep water and have your arms flat at your sides with your thumbs facing forward. Lift both arms to the surface, turning the palms to be flat while you move to increase resistance.

Return arms to your sides and repeat at a swift pace for two minutes. There are plenty of other arm workouts to try if this seems too easy, but it’s better to start out with something you know you can do and work your way up from there.

Splash Around to Burn Calories

Next, try doing some butterfly kicks. Put your back against the pool wall and lay your arms along the edge. Lift your legs out and kick at the surface for 10 seconds with a 10-second rest. Doing this move in the water will speed up your heart rate and burn more calories than butterfly kicks on land.

Exercise Your Biceps

If you have Styrofoam weights, this one’s for you. Hold one weight in each hand underwater and curl them up to chest height, bringing them back down to be level with your waist. By adjusting the size of your pool weight, you’ll increase your resistance and isolate specific muscle groups.

Bounce in Place

Try jumping as high as you can out of the water and sinking back down into a squat ten times in a row, and you’ll feel your quads and butt start to work. This Frog Jump exercise doesn’t require you to ribbit, but it will make you sweat.

Finish with Some Knee Tucks

Finally, place your arms over your pool noodle and lift your knees to your chest. After putting your feet back down on the pool floor, repeat this movement for 30 seconds to work your core. Give it three to five rounds, and you’ve gotten a complete workout in!

Once you’ve hit these 10, go towel off and take a shower. You’ve earned it some relaxing pool time and a few rays.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you enjoy doing water workouts – swimming, water aerobics or something else? What workout goals do you have for the summer months? What changes are you making to control your weight and promote healthy aging? Please join the conversation in the comments section.