It wasn’t until after my husband died that I realized how much I relied on him for home maintenance tasks. Whether it was unclogging the toilet or patching holes in the drywall, he did it all.

Now that he’s gone, it’s fallen to me to get all these tasks done. Some have been easy to take over while others are still far beyond my skills. I don’t think I’ll ever get to the point of being comfortable changing a light fixture or installing a new faucet.

The question is: How do you find someone to help when you have no idea the going rate or whether someone’s work is really any good? You don’t have to be a widow like me to have this question either.

In the years since my husband died, I’ve found the following are the best ways to ensure I don’t get ripped off when I’m hiring someone to help around the house.

Start with Handy Family Members and Friends

For small jobs, a family member or friend may be willing to come over and help for free. However, if the person makes their living as a carpenter, plumber, electrician or other tradesman, offer to pay for their services.

Also, if you have a major project that needs to be done, make sure your helpful friend or relative has the skills to get the job done right.

Ask for Referrals from Others

Even if your family or friends can’t help do the work, they may be able to provide referrals to professionals they’ve used in the past. Getting a personal referral is one of the best ways to find a handyman or contractor whose work is tried and true.

Avoid Craigslist and Door-to-Door Salesmen

I’m not saying there aren’t good people advertising on Craigslist, but I have heard many a horror story about people misrepresenting their skills or outright scamming others on the site. So much so that I don’t recommend hiring a contractor or handyman from Craigslist.

The same can be said for people who go door-to-door peddling new windows or other home repair items. In my experience, their services – even if legitimate – are often overpriced.

Look on Review Sites for Home Maintenance Services

Instead of looking in the classifieds, head to websites like Angie’s List or Yelp. There, you can search for the type of professional you need and read reviews from other customers. Access to reviews is free, but paying members of Angie’s List can also take advantage of the company’s fair price guarantee and conflict resolution service.

Check Licensing and BBB Listings

Don’t take a person’s word that they’re licensed to do work in your state. Confirm it. Most states will let you check the status of a person’s license online, and the online listing may also report any complaints received about the individual’s work or business practices.

Search for your state’s licensing department to see if they offer this feature. Another option is to look on the Better Business Bureau website for a company’s rating and complaint history.

Start with a Small Job

If possible, ask a handyman to do a small job for you before hiring him for a larger or ongoing project. That way, you can witness firsthand the person’s punctuality, demeanor and quality of work.

That’s not an option for contractors performing larger renovations, but you should still meet with these individuals in person to get an estimate. That discussion may give you some clues as to their professionalism.

Get a Written Estimate for Major Repairs

Small jobs – like unclogging a sink or minor appliance repairs – are usually completed on the spot for a service charge in addition to the professional’s hourly rate. While you should ask about rates prior to scheduling an appointment, don’t expect an estimate in advance. However, for any major repairs or renovations, you should get the total cost, timeline for work and payment terms in writing.

Compare Costs to Industry Averages

Once you get a written estimate, it’s a good idea to see how it stacks up against industry standards. Home Advisor is one place on the web where you can go to compare your estimate against average prices for the same service.

A good quality local contractor may charge a little more, but if the estimate is significantly more than the average cost, you may want to ask why or at least get an estimate from a second professional for comparison.

Walk Away if Upfront Payment is Demanded

It’s a red flag if someone insists on being paid upfront or says they need money to cover the cost of materials. For a service call, the standard is to pay at the time of the repair but only after the work has been done.

For larger jobs, contractors may require periodic payments as the work progresses, but only after certain milestones have been hit. A reputable firm will also have enough capital to cover their materials and tools. They shouldn’t need your money to buy supplies at the start of the project.

Pay with Your Credit Card

Many workers don’t take credit cards or, if they do, charge an extra fee to cover the cost of processing the payment. However, if it’s an option, you may want to consider it. Most credit cards come with fraud protection that could be useful if you later find a contractor has mispresented his work.

What strategies do you use to find reliable home maintenance services? Are there review sites other than Yelp or Angie’s List that you have found helpful?  What kinds of jobs do you feel comfortable taking on yourself? Please join the conversation.

How can you tell what’s important and what is not? All day and night you have choices to make about the signals that stream in, creating feelings and thoughts. They demand that you either accept or reject the ideas that they represent.

Family situations, relationships with your neighbors, something at work that needs to be handled or your own feelings and thoughts… or all of the above. It’s usually a combination of things you care about and things you don’t care about, but have to deal with anyway.

Stop for a Moment and Look at the Flow of Signals

What responses are being requested? Are they in alignment with your true priorities in life? Are you being asked to step out of your comfort one? Who is served by your going there?

Is what is being asked of you out of alignment with your true values? Or, are you being asked for your own best wisdom? Who will benefit from the actions you take or do not take?

It’s a challenge to make the distinctions, since there are so many types of responsibility. Each day requires changing your point of view at least a few times to accommodate the needs of the moment.

Ask yourself what purpose is being served by each of the signals. This way, they will become easier to decipher and prioritize. What is your role in the train of events? If you are being asked to play a role that is out of touch with your values, in order to make things work for someone else, how much value does that add to your life and that of those you care about?

When is the Right Time to React?

There are times when it’s best to just let sleeping dogs lie. At other times, a sharp distinction needs to be drawn and you need to decide whether you point it out to others or not. When you are clear in your own mind about your feelings, you can adapt your responses to create the result you desire, without getting caught up in other people’s processes.

Have a look at who is doing the asking. What will happen to them – and to you – because of how you placed your priorities?

You are the one who will make the priorities that shape your life and relationships. When you are clear within yourself about your values, you can see that the urgency that is often projected about small things is an energy drain.

Be Aware of the Risks of “False Urgency”

False urgency drains away mental and emotional energy and keeps true solutions from being generated. Think about what true inspiration is like. It’s not urgent.

True inspiration is gentle and has plenty of time to unfold. It has room for everyone. It just appears, without asking you to do anything except notice it.

As we gain spiritual awareness later in life, we can let go of the need to engage with some of the urgency that others project. We can cultivate a calm perspective. Life does contain truly urgent situations, but they are relatively few.

Don’t Forget to Look at the Big Picture

Taking a larger view of things serves you and those around you. It makes the world a better place. You can be an island of calm where true solutions are generated and save your energy for things that are more meaningful and long-lasting. It’s more efficient to look for the long view of things and let the moment unfold.

What is your purpose in doing what you are doing today? Do you have opportunities to make small changes that expand your wisdom? What choices can you make to improve your live and expand your role in your community?

Make that First Little Change and See What Opens Up for You

Your first change can be as simple as not telling people what you think until you are sure they are ready to hear you. It could be that you have a chance to let the moment ripen until the other person is ready to hear what you have to say.

You can be the example who doesn’t say a word, but, instead makes things work. You can let others become curious about what you are doing. Eventually, people will ask you questions, ready to listen to what you have to say. You will have silently demonstrated your priorities without explaining anything.

It’s Time to Make Room in Your Life for Your True Self

When you make room for yourself and nourish your own values, at the time when you are required to be flexible and change your ideas or responses in some way, it’s not a big deal. You already understand that you are bigger than the thing in front of you. You are more important than the matter at hand.

The moment opens up and gets both bigger and smaller. You have what it takes to light up the time. It’s another moment that contains the seed of better understanding and you can step into it with confidence.

The gift of time allows you to see the opening in the moment and, rather than rushing through it, you see the opportunities it presents and are calm and flexible enough to act on them.

Then you can select the action that is best for you and make the most of everything that the moment represents.

Do you agree that life after 60 should be a time for aligning all of your actions with your values? What would you do with your life if you knew that you could not fail? Let’s start a conversation.

Do you ever find yourself in a fluster searching frantically for your phone, your wallet, or a set of keys that appears to have magically disappeared into thin air? If you do, you are certainly not alone. Every day, men and women of all ages experience some type of short-term forgetfulness or memory loss.

For many of us, it can be a totally normal part of everyday life. However, in certain people, memory loss can develop into a severe degenerative health issue that seriously impedes their quality of life.

What Does Short Term Memory Loss Signal?

Our brain mirrors the effects of our lifestyle and age. It ages just like the rest of our body. With the greying of hair, so too, our ability to learn and recall might slowly fade. The process may be pushed along by excessive drinking and smoking or health issues such as severe depression or stroke.

What can be most difficult though, is acknowledging the signs that determine whether memory loss is a serious health issue or a consequence of lifestyle such as lack of sleep, medications, or stress.

We all have our moments of forgetting where the keys are or what our password is, and that’s totally fine. Usually, those days are the result of sudden and reversable changes in our lifestyle, meaning that a good night’s sleep, relaxation, or a new medication will also see a potentially positive change in your memory.

Signs of Memory Health Issues

However, what signs might indicate a more serious memory health issue? Not all types of forgetfulness and memory loss are equal, but if you do notice these signs, then it’s definitely worth consulting your health care professional:

Asking Again and Again

One sign is when you notice yourself or a loved one ask the same questions or tell the same story over and over again.

Help, I’m Lost

If you or a loved one experiences confusion, can’t find their way, or gets lost frequently, that’s another sign.

Changes in Mood

Frustration, anger, and unanticipated mood changes can also signal a problem with memory.

Genes, Self-Care, and Memory

Serious memory diseases are sometimes related to our DNA and genetics. For example, it is believed that if one or both of our parents suffered severe memory loss, we are more likely to experience it.

In most cases, though, we do have the capacity to change the habits that either help or hinder our memory. No one knows you better than you. Listen to your body.

One of the simplest, most proactive action you can take every day to help keep memory loss at bay is to eat a balanced diet. One that is high in fresh foods that will nourish the brain with the nutrients, vitamins, and minerals it needs to stay in peak condition and functional effectively.

A diet high in Vitamin B12 is believed to increase blood circulation in the brain and lessen “fuzzy” memory days. Foods high in Vitamin B12 include meat, poultry, fish, and dairy products.

If you have a day where you forget a name or can’t recall the last book you read, it might just be because you have had a momentary lapse of reason – a “bad day”. But if you do find yourself getting lost or forgetting names one too many times, then take the time to talk to your health care professional.

What do you forget most often? Do you find yourself forgetting one too many times? Or is it just a momentary lapse? Please share your forgetful moments with the community!