Lately, I have become acutely sensitive to the amount of time we spend talking about money in our everyday life.

“I love your sweater.”

“Oh thank you. I got it on sale for $19, can you believe it? It cost $149.00 originally.”

“Well, this skirt I’m wearing was $5 at the Labor Day sale.”

And they’re off!

How many times a day do you say, “I can’t afford it.”

How often have you asked someone, or wondered, “Are you taking social security at 65 or 70?”

Or said to a friend, “I wonder how they can afford to take so many cruises…”

Money Talk Slips in Everywhere; It Is Insidious

Look at how many articles on Sixty and Me focus on retirement finances, money issues, fear of running out of money, how to earn money when you’re over 60, how to live more cheaply.

My millionaire series of articles, which began with How to Feel Like A Millionaire, is about adopting the attitude of abundance and generosity, of finding pleasures in your life that are not related to monetary expenditures or outcomes. Living a quality lifestyle doesn’t require a fortune. Good taste, attitude and joy are priceless.

So, I tried something last month. I modeled the behavior of a very wealthy friend of mine who has beautiful values. I decided to banish the topic of money from my daily conversation.

It was a revelation. I felt so relaxed, so free. I felt great peace because I wasn’t constantly measuring myself or my finances. Actually, I “just” lived, enjoyed, shared, created, thought, participated. I felt rich in all ways. It was a priceless feeling.

So here are my thoughts about not talking about money.

Talking About Money Only Makes You Feel Better or Worse

Talking about money doesn’t make you any richer or poorer, rather, it makes you feel better or worse. So why even go there?

We’ve been talking about money all our lives. Comparing how much you’re earning and saving to someone else. Taxes, healthcare, college education, retirement savings. Now that we’re retired we’re talking about how long our money will last, how much is our social security check, where to get the cheapest airfare, what states have the lowest tax rate.

My attitude is: It is what it is. You have what you have and it will have to do. Or, you will have to figure out a way to get more. But either way, why have it become the prime topic in our daily conversations?

There Will Always Be People Who Have More Money Than I

There will always be people who have more money than I and people who have less money than I do. We always want to see “how we’re doing,” where we fall on the continuum.

Talking about money brings nothing to the conversation. It elevates no one in any way. You either feel richer or smarter, or stupider or poorer and nothing has changed as a result of the conversation.

There Are More Interesting Things to Talk About Than Money

Like… the soul, art, culture, music, a book, current events, family problems. Money is finite but your soul is limitless, your heart is expandable, your mind can travel galaxies. Feel rich and talk about politics, ecology, global warming, human trafficking, sexual assault, education, theatre, film, poetry. Or feel rich with culture. Feel rich with involvement. Feel rich with pleasure.

There Is a Time to Talk About Money

And that’s when you sit down with your banker or financial advisor, spouse, partner or close friend. That’s money talk time. A dedicated financial, business conversation.

Even Millionaires Worry about Money

Yes, even they feel they don’t have enough, worry about becoming a bag lady. They like bargains and saving money just like everyone else. You are never immune from worrying about money.

Not Talking About Money Makes You Feel Peaceful

Try it and see!

You Have Survived This Long, So Far

You’ve made it through the hardest years of your life. Isn’t it time to stop the struggle? You have what you have and, guess what, it will be enough! So far, you have made it with what you’ve had. You are a survivor.

I’m anticipating some backlash about this article, because people who don’t have as much as they’d like, or need, are obsessed with how they’re going to make it. Please do share your experiences about NOT talking about money. What are your favorite “replacement” topics of conversation? Give them a try!

Kristin Cavallari’s Houndstooth Blazer on Instagram

Kristin Cavallari Instagram Fashion

Kristin Cavallari’s houndstooth blazer is a bit of a contrast from her sexy crop top worn while dancing with the Southern Charm boys, like everything else, it works for her. And while it might not be available in her exact color, there’s another similar version that’s also perfect for making your ex jealous the holidays.

The Realest Housewife,

Big Blonde Hair

Click Here to See her L’Agence Kenzie Blazer

Click Here to Shop it in Brown

Originally posted at: Kristin Cavallari’s Houndstooth Blazer

For some reason, bangs are always a bit controversial. Curtain bangs are no different. Some love them and some aren’t feeling them and others think people are calling long layers bangs when they’re really just a layer. Bur regardless, Ashley Benson does have new curtain bangs are they look great on her. The actress shared a video of her on set wearing a wavy bob wig and apparently, it inspired her to make a real change.

Not only did Benson get curtain bangs, but she also went shorter allover and much lighter. “The focal point of this look is the cut and color combo,” her hairstylist Joseph Maine said in a statement. “I love how the platinum color really compliments her skin and the dark root gives her a lot of depth, making her light blonde pop. The depth in her root also goes with her eyebrows and makes her eyes stand out. For the style, I wanted it to look effortless and just slightly tousled.”

Instagram.com/ashleybenson.

“I love working with Ashley because we get to try so many different looks,” the Trademark Beauty co-founder said. “She’s always up for new things. This is our first time really playing with her hair since Paris Fashion Week in March where we did eight different looks. It was fun to try something new today! While this is a wig that she’s currently rocking, we were so inspired by it that we ended up chopping her real hair super short too. It’s pretty drastic!”

Source: Instagram

Benson’s new bangs will take a little styling work to get used to but they’re very versatile. She can wear them straight forward, blown-out in a cool ’70s way or even just tuck them into the rest of her hair when she’s not feeling then. They’ll also grow out easily right into her chic bob. We love them and hope she keeps them around for a while—until she switches it up again.

With Covid-19, we are drowning in statistics. Every day, I see the number of new cases, the number of hospitalisations, the number of deaths. For my country and the rest of the world.

They are overwhelming, and it is hard to take them all in.

At the same time, there are plenty of human stories. The deaths of husbands and wives within days of each other. The deaths of one without being able to see the other. The very tired and over-worked health care workers and others.

All of these are powerful and moving stories.

But there is one kind of story that I simply have not seen told at all. Perhaps it is there, and I have missed it. It is also very painful ­– perhaps too painful to write about.

This concerns the people who are left behind feeling enormously guilty because they may have contributed to the death of their loved one.

The Human Psyche

I am not a psychologist of any kind, but I look around me, and I know that human beings are very prone to a sense of guilt.

Your husband is unhappy – is it your fault? Your child is confused and distressed – did you contribute to this situation in any way? Your mother feels neglected – is this down to you?

Especially women. We do guilt very easily. I don’t know why.

Now, we know we tend to feel mildly guilty if we accidentally gave a friend a cold, because we talked to them longer than was necessary when we met by chance.

And we feel very guilty if our actions contributed to another person’s problems ­– allowing them to drink and drive, for instance, when we should have urged them not to have that third or fourth glass of wine.

But surely, we must feel very guilty indeed if we accidentally passed on Covid-19, because we thought we were disease free when we weren’t. That is the Big one.

Covid-19 Is Guilt Waiting to Happen

There are so many ways that anyone with an ounce of sensitivity could begin to feel guilty these days. Covid-19 is passed from one person to another so easily, we must often be part of a possible chain.

Sometimes there are things we did – imagining somehow that it was safe – that look downright thoughtless in retrospect.

Did we need to make that Thanksgiving journey? Should we have gone to that large engagement party?

Of course, in each case, we meant well – to see an aging father, living on his own, to congratulate the bride and groom. But that meant getting into crowds, and we know that that’s where the virus lurks.

But the worst of it is that the people we affect are very frequently the people we love the most. We hugged a grandchild and that led to illness in the family. We visited a sister-in-law, which passed it on to all of her family.

Why oh why, we think afterward, did we not stop and think?

My Personal Concerns

I personally have not, to date, contracted the virus nor has anyone in my family. But my concern about the potential guilt of those left behind has certainly coloured my decisions.

It is the small children I worry most about. What if either grandson were to visit us when unknowingly carrying the virus, i.e., with no symptoms, and accidentally infected me or my husband?

And what would they feel if we died? Of course, they would be devastated by that fact in any case, but to live the rest of their lives feeling that they had killed Granny or Granddad cannot bear thinking about.

This has certainly affected my views about a potential visit. I just can’t do that to them.

There was a campaign in the UK called ‘Don’t Kill Your Gran,” which some people thought was funny, but it is very serious indeed. Not only for Gran but for the person who did so.

It cannot be much better for people of any age. Yet it must have happened many times over.

Of course, I am concerned for the health care workers feeling over-strained. Of course, I feel for all the people who died over the past nine months or so. But stop a second and think of all those left behind, wishing they had taken a different course on one particular day.

Have you seen grandchildren and other family during the various lockdowns this year? How has fear of potential guilt affected your decisions to see grandchildren or others? Do you have members of your family who feel guilty? What do you say to them? Please share your thoughts below.

Get Holiday Glam with Celeb Fave Charlotte Tilbury at Nordstrom

This post is a sponsored partnership between BigBlondeHair.com and Nordstrom, although all thoughts and picks are my own! We may receive a percentage of sales for items purchased from Nordstrom through affiliate links in this post. The celebrity names mentioned are in no way affiliated with this post or endorsing any products mentioned.

If you’ve read Big Blonde Hair for awhile, you’ve heard the name of celeb-loved makeup brand Charlotte Tilbury on repeat. I started using the brand when I teamed up with Nordstrom and Charlotte Tilbury back in 2017, soon after the Real Housewives of New York sung the praises for CT’s “Magic Cream” and then I consistently saw our favorite Reality TV stars wearing it all the time!

If I had to pick personally, my favorite products are her loose powder (I learned from Kristin Cavallari to dab it on dark under eye circles after concealer) and all of the pillow talk lip products, which make a great gift because the color really looks amazing on everyone.

This year I treated myself to a new product to get glam for those holiday zooms, the CT Bejewelled Eyes to Hypnotize Palette, via curbside pickup at my local Nordstrom in Austin. It makes creating 4 types of holiday eye looks—Happy Glow, Love Glow, Dream Glow, and Seduce Glow—easy. I often find that paying a bit more for an eyeshadow that goes on easily and smoothly is 100% worth it. I used it to create a look for a holiday zoom party tonight, which I featured on our stories!

Check out our fave seen on celeb Charlotte moments, the products I wear everyday and more below!

The Realest Housewife,

Big Blonde Hair

!function(d,s,id)
var e, p = /^http:/.test(d.location) ? ‘http’ : ‘https’;
if(!d.getElementById(id))
e = d.createElement(s);
e.id = id;
e.src = p + ‘://widgets.rewardstyle.com/js/widget.js’;
d.body.appendChild(e);

if(typeof(window.__moneyspot) === ‘object’)
if(document.readyState === ‘complete’)
window.__moneyspot.init();

(document, ‘script’, ‘moneyspot-script’);

JavaScript is currently disabled in this browser. Reactivate it to view this content.

Kristin Cavallari using CT Genius Magic Powder // Melissa Gorga Using CT Magic Cream // Bethenny Frankel Loves CT Magic Eye Rescue // Kristin Cavallari Wearing Charlotte Tilbury PillowTalk Liner // Tracy Tutor Wearing CT K.I.S.S.I.N.G Lipistick in Nude Kate and Pillow Talk Liner // Kyle Richards Wearing Eyes to Mesmerise Cream Eyeshadow // Dorit Kemsley Wearing CT Filmstar Bronze + Glow Contour Duo // Ariana Madix Wearing CT Flawless Filter Primer + Highlighter  // Hannah Brown Wearing CT Pillow Talk Lipstick

Photo Credits: @MelissaGorga @BethennyFrankel @HaleyMHoff @MsPricillaNYC @GinaModicaMakeup E! 

MUA Credits: Tracy Tutor: @MakeupbyHaleyHoff // Kyle Richards and Ariana Madix: @MsPriscillaNYC // Hannah Brown: @GinaModicaMakeup // Dorit Kemsley: @CGonzalezBeauty

Bethenny Frankel Info: BravoTV.com

!function(d,s,id)
var e, p = /^http:/.test(d.location) ? ‘http’ : ‘https’;
if(!d.getElementById(id))
e = d.createElement(s);
e.id = id;
e.src = p + ‘://widgets.rewardstyle.com/js/widget.js’;
d.body.appendChild(e);

if(typeof(window.__moneyspot) === ‘object’)
if(document.readyState === ‘complete’)
window.__moneyspot.init();

(document, ‘script’, ‘moneyspot-script’);

JavaScript is currently disabled in this browser. Reactivate it to view this content.

Rock n’ Kohl Eyeliner // *Bejewelled Eyes to Hypnotize Palette // Pillow Talk Lipstick // *Pillow Talk Lip Liner // Pillow Talk Lustre Lipgloss // *Charlotte Tilbury Magic Powder 

* I use every time I put makeup up 

Originally posted at: Get Holiday Glam with Celeb Fave Charlotte Tilbury at Nordstrom