Life is surely full of relationships. We are born the child in relationship to our parents, and we may simultaneously become someone’s brother or sister. In our extended family, we will likely have grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins.

At a young age, I don’t believe I thought a great deal about those relationships. They were simply assigned to us and we accepted them. They came with this whole package of life we inherited at birth.

If and when we marry, we take on new roles as wives, as daughters-in-law and sisters-in-law. Someone may become our mother-in-law or father-in-law. We feel our way through the complexities of our spouse’s family relationships carefully. After all, they were formed long before our arrival.

I Am a Mother-in-Law!

My most recent relationship role is that of mother-in-law. Currently in my 70s, I now have one more new welcome role. Perhaps because at this stage in my life I am given more to thoughtfulness, the role feels both exciting and daunting.

During a casual dinner in the week following my son’s wedding, my daughter-in-law and I discussed these new roles.

How do they feel? Are we settling into them? Are there traditions, cultural or regional differences that we will need to learn further about one another? How different is it that while our son is still our son, now his extended family is a greater part of him?

All these considerations don’t seem, on the surface, to be all that dramatic a change. Even though there are many physical miles between us, it has been satisfying to see our son change from a single guy with an airtight schedule to a man who welcomed his fiancée and her family into his life while he became a part of theirs.

They will do well.

My Tips to Self

Back to exploring my mother-in-law role. I have no advice to give as I am just settling into this new dynamic myself. Having watched many friends experience this relationship, some successfully and some not so peacefully, I have set out some guidelines for myself that I will do my best to follow.

New Relationship

Understand that my relationship is no longer to my son alone, but to this wonderful couple and the family they are developing. I will be as supportive to them as I have been to my son. I will be available but will leave it to them to let me know when my knowledge, advice, and opinions are needed.

Differences

Expect there will be many cultural differences, some with a big “C” and some with a small “c”, to respect and understand. Every family has its quirks, habits, and traditions. Some of those are within the family, some are tied to their larger community and society.

My job will be to understand that this new family that was recently created will be letting go of some of our family’s traditions and molding their own.

My New Daughter

Enjoy the pleasure of deepening our acquaintance with our daughter-in-law. While we have had many years to develop a relationship with our son as he grew from childhood to manhood, I expect to enjoy just as much getting to know our daughter-in-law in depth.

On the reverse of that, our son likely knows his parents better than we know him. My job will be to be as open to my daughter-in-law so that sense of family goes both ways.

An Adventure to Enjoy

Consider this as a life adventure. Trust that we as in-laws will be a positive addition to our new daughter’s larger family as she will be to ours. I’m looking forward to this new phase of life unfolding.

Stay Genuine

Be myself. I expect my daughter-in-law to do the same. Avoid any attempts to be what I am not. We expect to be in these roles for a long time, so being comfortable with who we are will make the years ahead so much more pleasant.

When did you become a mother-in-law? Do you have further advice or thoughts on this or other new relationships that come our way in our 60s and later? And finally, why aren’t there any father-in-law jokes? Let’s have a chat!

Erika Jayne Girardi’s Black Mesh Confessional Look

Season 10 Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Fashion

Erika Jayne Girardi’s black mesh confessional look is a lewkkkk. We all know that it’s Xxpen$ive to be Erika, but surprisingly getting this look doesn’t have to be. That’s what I love about stealing their styles because there is always a look that’s similar or even a look for, you know, le$$.

I can’t wait to hear what she’s dishing on in this upcoming confessional. I’m just glad for now her stylist dished the deets on her amazing mesh outfit.

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

Click Here To Shop Her AFRM Black Mesh Turtleneck

Click Here To Shop Her Dion Lee Corset Top

Photo, Styling + ID Credit: @danixmichelle

Originally posted at: Erika Jayne Girardi’s Black Mesh Confessional Look

The rainbow has been a symbol of hope and of creative energy in many cultures for centuries. Rainbow symbolism is deep and powerful. The emotions that the deep colors bring up for us are primal. Throughout history, rainbows have brought us lightness of different types.

What Is the Meaning of Rainbows?

For some cultures, the rainbow is a message from the spirits. The Norse believed it to be the bridge to Valhalla, the paradise reserved for those who had fallen in battle.

Other belief systems think of the rainbow as a sign of immortality. In Jewish lore, it is the promise of the Creator for new beginnings and for mercy in times to come.

The Irish tale of the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow shows the same feeling. Rainbows give hope during times of darkness. When the rainbow breaks through the clouds, it shows the power of hope. The colors vibrate in your heart, and life feels new again.

My Personal View

I always look for rainbows, and they occur in surprising ways, lifting my spirits whenever I see them. The bright colors dance across the wall or appear as a magnificent arch in the sky. Whenever I see a rainbow, I feel a joyful sense of being visited by a being from another place.

I have arranged prisms on my windowsill so that at certain times multiple rainbows appear on the walls and across the room. It’s always a special treat to have the “rainbow hour,” and I use it as a way to be sure I am noticing how much beauty there is in life. Rainbows dancing on the walls are a wakeup call to beauty.

What Is a Rainbow?

In technical terms, the rainbow is a spectrum of light that appears when the sun’s rays or other white-hued light is refracted by a prism or through water vapor. The colors range from the lower hue of red, then progress through the pure tones of orange, yellow, green, and blue to finish at the high range of purple.

What We See and What We Don’t

There are many vibrations of light that go beyond this visible spectrum. We have the rainbow to show us both the power of choices, as the colors parade through in glory, and the limits of our perception.

The rainbow stands as a reminder that things can be more than they seem to be. It’s the only range of light that we see. However, the universal patterns of light go far beyond our ability to see with our eyes alone.

Now that humans have scientific means of measuring light, ones that can detect these wavelengths in mathematical terms, we see our own limitations in a new way.

We also see the potential for using what we are able to see. The rainbow shows that a simple thing such as a beam of light contains many possible variations. It invites us to dream of newness, showing us pure colors that delight the eye.

The rainbow is a sure sign of the ability of the mind to create new possible ways of seeing things. It’s not just black and white, it’s full color realization.

A Message in the Rainbow

Next time you see a rainbow, take an extra moment to savor the colors and the hidden message that has come.

For me, the rainbow serves as a reminder that the unseen is with us. It’s a tap on the shoulder from lightness, a message that things are more than they seem to be.

When I see refracted light, I take a moment to pause in my routine, to acknowledge mystery, and hope.

Our world is changing in ways we have yet to comprehend. At this moment of change, rainbows can lift the spirit. Color can change the way we feel. The pure tones of the rainbow have the power to bring newness to our hearts.

When was the last time you saw a rainbow? What does your tradition believe about rainbows? What feeling does a rainbow bring into your life? Please share with our community.

Do you consider yourself well-dressed? Are you a fashionista?

Some women over 60 were fashion icons in their earlier years and remain as such today. They know what looks best and wear what they are both comfortable in and what makes them look fabulous. Others follow the latest trends, chasing an image that may be more fantasy than reality.

Some people seem to come to fashion naturally. You know them, they always look good in a just-pulled-together sort of way. Nothing looks too studied or too perfect, but they always look great.

Perhaps they have studied, spending hours with Vogue and videos, personal shoppers and stylists, but the look remains effortless.

Then there are those of us who haven’t quite figured out the chic dressing code.

My Own Perception

I will be the first to admit that I am no fashionista. I often struggle with clothes, both in finding the right things and with putting outfits together. I have been one of those people with a closet full of clothes and nothing to wear.

If you have been in this situation, you know it is stressful. Not knowing what to wear can suck up your self-esteem and contribute to negative body image. It can make you late for appointments and events. Even worse – it can leave you feeling less than. Less than others. Less than beautiful. Less than your best self.

The Third Piece Rule

In an attempt to up my fashion game, I have been trying new things. I read somewhere that to be fashionable you need a third piece. In addition to pants or a skirt and top, this might be a jacket, a sweater or a kimono. It might also be an accessory such as a statement necklace, a wrap or a scarf.

I’ve found some success with the third piece rule. I like to wear a jacket or sweater, or in very warm weather, one of the new light and floaty kimonos. This has been my attempt to look more pulled together, but it doesn’t always work.

I tend to love basic, neutral, classic clothes. I have a closet full of black, gray and navy blue. For some brightness, I usually wear a white or light-colored top. The good news is that I often buy quality pieces. The bad news is that although everything goes together, it is all very boring.

The Power of the Scarf

Then I saw a woman wearing very basic, neutral clothing and a beautiful silk scarf. She looked stunning. I realized that I already owned similar pants, cardigan and blouse. It wasn’t the clothing that made the look, it was the scarf.

Perhaps this is very obvious to you and you have long ago discovered the power of a beautiful scarf, but it was a revelation to me.

I owned a couple of scarves, purchased or given to me years ago, but I never wore them. There had never been any intention; I had no idea about how I might wear them or how to use them to complete an outfit.

I decided to go shopping for a scarf similar to the one my new fashion icon had worn. I noted the colors and style and dragged a friend along with me to help. Fashion accessories are not my area of specialty, and I have never considered myself someone who accessorizes particularly well.

But I found a similar scarf and bought it. I wore it hesitantly a couple of times and it felt good. It brightened up my complexion and brought color to my otherwise neutral wardrobe. Several people complemented me. It was a fashion win.

Since then I have realized the power of a scarf to change my look and be the accessory that has upped my fashion game. I now own many scarves and wear them often.

A good scarf offers many opportunities for style. Let’s explore them together.

Scarves Add Color

If you own a closet full of neutrals, scarves will brighten things up. I love my neutrals, but my coloring has faded with age and I find that I look better with a little color near my face. Color also adds interest and personality to your outfit. If you love color, scarves can be your playground!

Scarves Offer the Opportunity to Go Wild with Print

If you can wear print head to toe, good for you. I love prints, especially florals, but don’t usually feel comfortable wearing them.

I’ve never felt I could pull off a flowered jacket, but a scarf gives me just enough print to please my sense of pattern. I even have a favorite leopard print scarf that adds pattern without overwhelming me.

Scarves Add Warmth

When temperatures dip, a scarf feels cozy against your neck. An added bonus is that it covers up parts of your neck that are starting to sag and wrinkle.

There are very light weight scarves that will work in warmer temperatures or in a chilly air- conditioned room. I just bought a summer weight scarf in a poppy print that I can’t wait to try.

Scarves Stretch Your Wardrobe Basics

How many times can you wear that black sweater? For me, the answer is, endlessly. It can look new and different when I pair it with different scarves. This is a way to maximize your investment in good basic pieces while keeping your look interesting.

Scarves Let You Show Your Creative Flair

Like many women, I have a creative side, though my wardrobe has not always reflected my creativity. I have tried wildly printed shirts or shoes in bright colors, but I could never made it work.

Adding scarves has been a game changer for me. I can tie them in different ways and add a necklace or bag to make the outfit better match my personality. The right scarf allows me to be myself in a way that feels comfortable.

What is your favorite accessory? Are you a scarf wearer? Where do you get your scarves? Have you always known the magic of scarves or is it something you have yet to explore? I’d love to know how you make scarves work for you.