Kyle Richards’ Black Crystal Embellished Sandals on Instastories

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Instagram Fashion 2020

Although we may be extremely jealous of Kyle Richards’ pretty quarantine pedicure in this pic from her Instastories over the weekend (um, how did she do that?!) thankfully there is no need to be jealous of her super cute black crystal embellished sandals. Because lucky enough they’re still in stock and totally ready for us to dip our much less attractive toes into this summer. 

Fashionably,

Faryn

Click Here to Shop Her Mystique X Stephanie Gottlieb Sandals

Click Here to Shop Them in Leopard

Photo & Info: @KyleRichards18

Originally posted at: Kyle Richards’ Black Crystal Embellished Sandals

A couple of weeks ago we did a drive by for my grandson’s seventh birthday. It was the second grandchild birthday that I’ve had to miss due to the Covid pandemic. It was also the first time since quarantining that I’d actually seen any of my grandchildren in person.

We did the drive by and stopped and chatted for a bit with my son and daughter-in-law – all of this from inside of our car while they stood on their driveway. We said hi to the kids and watched them play. And then, I couldn’t take it anymore.

I said to my husband, “We’ve got to go.” I held it together, smiled, and waved goodbye to them all. But as soon as we pulled away, I began to sob. Ugly crying. The whole way home.

I told myself that I needed to calm down and stop the rivers because others have it much worse. People are sick and dying. Others can’t be with their loved ones who are sick. People are out of work. And I’m crying simply because I miss my grandchildren. How selfish of me.

Feelings Are Vital

The “I’m being selfish because I’m upset about ______ when others have it so much worse” mentality is a common one, particularly among women. What this mentality does is that it completely invalidates our feelings.

Our own emotions and feelings are always important and valid. And it’s healthy to let them out and be aware of them.

What is not healthy is to repress them because we feel that they’re not important enough to share – either internally or with our loved ones.

This Is Always the Case, But Especially Now

We are all living in a time when there is so much uncertainty. Most of us have never experienced anything like this. Anxiety levels are high even on a seemingly good day. So, when we find ourselves in an emotional situation, our breaking point is much more easily reached.

Here are 5 strategies to get you through those pity party times:

Don’t Keep Your Feelings Inside

Allow yourself to feel the feelings that are eating you on the inside and have a good cry.

Start a Journal

If you don’t do this already, start a journal – writing down your feelings is very cathartic.  Missing these kiddos so intensely has inspired me to start a “grandma journal” to help me feel more connected to them until we can be together again.

Take a Walk

Whether you choose the nearby park or the woods in your backyard, take a long brisk walk in the fresh air to clear your head and simply breathe in.

You’re Not Alone

Reach out to a friend who “gets it.” You’re really not alone in this situation and mutually sharing your feelings can be beneficial for both parties.

Take a Different Perspective

While feeling guilty because someone else may have a worse situation than you is not a healthy place to be, being able to have perspective can help. Being aware that others are suffering, even as you are suffering, is not selfish.

In fact, it demonstrates a level of empathy, compassion, and selflessness. Having this perspective, as long as you are not denying yourself your real feelings in the process, can help you begin to practice gratitude. And being grateful and sad at the same time is real and possible.

We have to allow ourselves to feel our feelings and to validate them. We have to, these days more than ever, be kind to ourselves.

Have you had any pity parties for yourself during the pandemic? Did you feel guilty about them because others have it worse? What strategies are you using to keep yourself in a positive frame of mind? Please share with our community and let’s have a conversation!

These last couple of months sitting at home on the couch have eroded more than my waist line. My get-up-and-go is gone, too. How about you?

I admit there’s nothing wrong with a break from our overscheduled and distracted lives. I’m not suggesting we return to that. I’m proposing we restore some healthy momentum in the wake of binging on Netflix and potato chips. Momentum is our proof of life!

Oddly enough, momentum doesn’t build by filling up our calendars and frantically rushing out to make up for lost time. Don’t mistake a busy life for positive momentum. Healthy momentum emerges by slowing down, but in a totally different way than how we’ve been living recently.

Seriously? How can slowing down build momentum!?

We build momentum when we slow down to focus on the moments of our life.

If this seems a strange correlation, think of this: momentum is the 14^th century Latin root of the word moment. This speaks to me about their practical kinship. Unlike an instant, they are both ongoing, and a transition between our past and our future. Our moments are the secret agents of momentum.

Here are four momentum-makers to restore the life we deserve:

Your Ordinary Moments Can Be Extraordinary

It’s easy to remember the big, life-changing moments in our lives. But it’s equally important to see how the everyday ones are special too. The true meaning of our moments is more about how we orient our hearts and souls toward them. We can always find meaning in every moment if we choose.

Our seemingly unremarkable and barely noticeable moments can provide us with inside information about the meaning of life. Begin by raising your awareness of the feel-good moments of your day. Then create the habit of looking for them the next day.

Every night, take inventory of:

• What made you laugh and feel good?
• What stirred up feelings of love and life?
• Where were the moments of unexpected beauty?

Sure, make a plan. Set a goal. Work toward it. But in spite of your plans, look around and drink in the momentum-building moments of your life.

Create a “Life-List”

As an extrovert living in this slower world, I’ve been re-examining the concept of the bucket list. My problem with bucket list mentality is that it feels driven by the fear that time is running out. Yes, time is precious. But healthy momentum doesn’t thrive under pressure.

There were times in my life when I didn’t know if I’d live or die. I planned my recovery with promises to write another book, travel to Israel, and maybe raise llamas!

Last time I was in this life threatening position, something changed. I stopped thinking about what I hadn’t done and began to feel God nudge me to do what I was already doing, but differently. Rather than live like I was dying, I began to live like I was living. So:

• Stop pressuring yourself to make up for lost time.
• Don’t ask what you haven’t done. Ask what you can do better.
• Start using the phrase life list instead of bucket list!

Live as If You Have All the Time in the World

Momentum doesn’t mean living faster. It means living better. This concept may be hard to accept considering many of us give in to the warning: “There aren’t enough hours in the day.” We love shortcuts, express lanes, and rapid rewards. The problem is, an abbreviated life is less of a life.

If you live like you have all the time in the world, your life will feel more valuable. You will create the kind of momentum that carries you up and on, instead of exhausting and costing you dearly. For example:

• Instead of taking the fastest way home, take the scenic route home to rebuild your energy.
• Instead of eating in the car after driving through the shortest line, pull into a spot under a tree to feed your body and your soul.
• Instead of texting the abbreviated BFF, spend three more seconds to spell out the words, Best Friends Forever. Seeing these actual words will stir up a greater positive emotional experience.

Embrace What’s Familiar in an Unfamiliar Way

Familiarity feels good. When our brains recognize something familiar, they release a small hit of dopamine – the chemical source of feel good emotions. We know what we love and so we love what we know. We get hooked on this predictable, but dangerous, feedback loop.

New experiences can feel like lifting a refrigerator – risky and frustrating. But the way our brains work is pretty cool. When they sense something new, they stretch, which is a little uncomfortable. Our brain chemistry goes a bit crazy when it expands – as do we. So, we avoid uncomfortable new experiences.

Why do we need new experiences? Because they make us feel alive. They move us toward the purpose we’ve been created for. But here’s what’s important:

• You don’t have to chase completely new activities or meet new people and places.
• Simply change HOW you experience what’s already in your life, by paying attention to the quality of your life – not the quantity of your experiences.
• Finally, get going!

You need and deserve life-affirming and meaningful momentum starting this very moment.

Has this pandemic set your momentum down? Are you moving backward instead of forward? What do you think you need to start living in the moment and get your healthy momentum back? Please share your thoughts with our community!

I consider myself a world class
thrifter. I’m very proud of that credential. If I’m traveling and I have a
little time, I head right to the local thrift store (there’s an app for that).
I’ve learned that the best thrifting is found in affluent communities where
thrifting is not cool. More good stuff for me.

When I found myself in Fairfield, CT,
one of the wealthiest counties in the country, I hit the mother lode. I’ll even
text friends and say, “I have a shirt here you would love… the tags are still
on it… do you want it?”

For years I’ve been pondering why
thrifting speaks to my soul as well as my budget. I’ve discovered that the art
of thrifting has many layers.

It’s a cultural experience, a
spiritual experience, a chance to exercise my creativity, and a good, old
fashioned treasure hunt. And it’s good for the environment. Many people don’t
realize how “disposable fashion” creates tons of waste.

Actually, I’m a Minimalist

My visits to my local Salvation Army
have been especially fun and productive. It’s a store I’ve gone to for many
years. The clerks recognize me. I bring my own cloth bags.

My affection for the Salvo is not as
simple as my love of bargains – like buying dresses with the tags still on (and
maybe, if I’m really lucky, the tag is the 50% off color of the day).

Ironically, I’ve been thinking a lot
about materialism and embracing the reality that I have more than enough. For
goodness sake, I’m just about to launch my online course “Too Much Stuff,”
which addresses clutter and helps people navigate their feelings about needing
to keep things they don’t use.

But thrifting falls into a different
category for me. It’s just as much about the process. I thrift mindfully. I’m
no longer buying things just because they are bargains. Thrifting has become an
art form with many facets.

World Market

In Syracuse, New York, we have an
active immigrant resettlement program, and many new citizens shop at the Salvo.
I hear languages from all over the world. I see faces that are clearly not
native to Upstate NY.

I soak in the international vibe, and
I feel connected to the world community. I have deep awe for those who have
traveled very far to come here. Sometimes I think about what they’ve left behind,
and what it was like to relocate so far from home.

I know some people have never seen
snow before. I am also aware that not everyone is welcoming to immigrants, so I
try to send welcoming vibes, even if it’s just a smile.

I can’t imagine how challenging it
must be. Appreciation is an enriching experience, as is the gratitude I feel
for not having to flee from my own country.

I’m with Marie on This

When I pick up an article of clothing,
it has a history. Marie Kondo speaks eloquently about clothes and their spirit.
These items are imbued with a story. Although I wash the clothes before I wear
them, wearing them also helps me feel connected to others.

There’s a spiritual strand that
connects us through wearing the same clothes. It reminds me of when I went away
to school and I shared
clothes with my dorm buddies. It felt familiar and friendly. It’s a kind of
shared experience.

Connecting with Creativity and My Mom

My strolls through the aisles in the
Salvo also allow me to relax my mind – to be open to surprise. Buddhists call
this “beginner’s mind.” I try to consider styles that aren’t part of my usual
psychotherapist uniform.

What about this color? How could I
wear this? I channel my mother who was a professional artist. She gave me an
eye for color and quality. It’s a skill I’m very grateful for. Sometimes I take
a chance on something I wouldn’t usually wear – especially if the tag is the
color of the day.

Dogs and Purses

Rescue and rehabilitation are another
part of the thrifting experience. Some of the items need a little love. I
bought a very well worn, high quality purse that had seen better days. I took
it home and washed it with leather soap. Years of dirt came off and it had a
new luster and lease on life.

It occurred to me that thrifting can
call on our compassion. I believe in second chances. That probably explains why
I have three rescue dogs.

I also love to shop at the big box
store nurseries, where they have a rack for unloved plants. One of my fellow
shoppers called it the “death row.” Either way, some of my best perennials are
thriving after a little love and water.

It’s Not for Everyone

I know that thrifting is not for
everyone. One of my friends says there’s a “shkeev factor.” My son says it
smells bad in the Salvo. I get irritated when the local college kids come in
for their party costumes and can be quite oblivious and even arrogant.

But it resonates with me on many
levels. Finding the activities that fit your identity at the deepest levels is
important. I joke with my husband that my tombstone will say, “She was a great
thrifter.” That would be fine with me.

What
do you think of thrift shopping? Is it an experience you’ve tried or would like
to try? What are your best thrift store finds? Do you see a connection between
thrifting and mindfulness? Please share your thoughts with our community!