About 250 people live in our continuing care retirement community, in six apartment buildings and two nursing facilities. Now, in pandemic mode, you don’t see many residents in the walkways and corridors, and the restaurants are closed.

Our patio overlooks the pocket park on campus featuring a parcourse that no one is using. The occasional walker passes by the patio, sometimes masked, sometimes not.

Nobody stops to comment about the dog sitting at my feet, as they used to. A far cry from the conviviality we’d enjoyed since moving here last July.

The Ritual Dinner

Back then, Tom and I had lived in our new apartment for just a few days when the couple three doors down invited us for dinner.

“Dinner” meant meeting at the host table in the main dining room to be seated together, each ordering separately from the menu and using their own food points to pay. Jim and Carol proved to be pleasant and welcoming.

Ten more get-to-know-you dinners followed in close succession. I initiated a few myself, like with the couple I kept bumping into during my early morning dog walks.

Other dinners were initiated by people curious about the woman who used to run museums and now writes novels. A few times the dining room hostess seated us with residents she thought we should meet.

The get-to-know-you dinners were hard work: everyone gave a biographical sketch, and because we’re all old, those sketches were loooong.

When we would have a second dinner with a couple, the conversation would become more natural, if not yet candid. After a few months of sharing meals, we had learned with whom to sit to have a good time.

We Up the Ante

Six months in, when we were finally able to retrieve furniture from storage and set up our apartment to our liking, we decided to celebrate by holding an open house for everyone we’d enjoyed eating with.

I left invitations at 50 doorways, expecting 25 people to come, based on my experience with events the past few years.

I was wrong.

Nearly everyone RSVP’d “yes” and two replied, “Can I bring my daughter?” How was I going to fit all those people into our living room? I asked friends for advice.

One weary guy said, “Don’t serve shrimp because they’ll disappear immediately.” A more sympathetic woman said, “Can you ask some people to come later?” I followed her advice and asked half the invitees to come at 3:30 instead of 2:00.

It Worked

The weather that afternoon couldn’t have been better. Our guests came when requested, ate and drank modestly, wiped up their own spills, overflowed seamlessly into bedrooms and patio, and enjoyed each other’s company.

Three guests brought flowers, three brought wine, two brought daughters, one of whom brought citrus from her backyard. My only task was to keep food platters full and bottles uncorked; the assembled company made their own fun.

Afterwards, I asked some of my favorite neighbors why everybody had showed up. Out of a sense of obligation? Or curiosity about our apartment? Or to fill the time?

They said none of the above; they simply liked Tom and me. “At our age,” they said, “no one cares about social obligations. We just like to get along.”

And in Corona Time?

Getting along is the secret sauce of CCRC living. I am watching my husband wither now that he can’t go to his exercise classes (especially important for Parkinson’s sufferers, like Tom) and have lunch afterward with his pals.

Some people in this community seem to place such a high value on contact that they meet in the gazebo for cocktails and chatter, sitting much closer than six feet apart. Of course, connecting on social media is not an option for most 80-year-old widows.

When this is all over, I’m going to offer to teach everyone here how to Skype or Facetime or Zoom. You shouldn’t have to risk your life in exchange for a good laugh.

How are you connecting and coping in this difficult life situation? What do you miss the most from live before the pandemic? Let’s have a conversation.

Ladies, step away from the chocolates. Step away from the cookies. The quarantine will end, and we will all emerge from it a little, well, juicier than we were before.

Now, I have to admit that it has been a great relief to wear my most comfortable casual and leisure wear. But all good – and bad – things must come to an end.

So, to guide you on the path back to what might be a little more fashionable life in the future, here are some ideas that can help you make that transition.

Start at the Bottom

Ah, how we have enjoyed the great comfort of our sneakers. Well, they are still in fashion. But when you want to dress up a bit, consider shoes that have a lower cut vamp than a higher cut one. Shoes with higher cut vamps make your feet look shorter and pudgier.

The same goes for Mary Janes. Any shoe that has one strap across the ankle, especially one wider strap, will shorten and widen the look of your feet. Some great options right now are simple ballet-type flats, sling-backs in flats and lower heels, flip-flop type sandals, and multiple thinner strapped sandals.

Now, heels elongate the look of your legs and make every outfit look a little, well, sexier. But frankly, I just don’t have any desire to wear them anymore.

Stockings and Leggings

If you’re dressing for something more formal, match your stocking color with the color of your shoes. This will both make your legs look longer and your feet smaller.

If you are wearing leggings with something like a tunic-type top or a skirt, match the color of the leggings to your shoes. You can also wear them in the same color family as the top but of a lighter or darker shade.

And that brings up an important point. Any time you break a line with a new color you are going to attract the eye to that point. So if, for example, your calves are particularly wide, avoid capri leggings that end at the widest point of your calves.

Perfect Pant/Skirt

It’s fairly easy to have the waistband on a skirt altered. It’s next to impossible to do that on a nice pair of pants. So, if you need to purchase a new pair, look for one of the straight-leg or wide-leg styles that are very much in style this year.

Those work better when you’re carrying a few extra pounds compared to skinny, cropped, or capri length pants and jeans.

Now, pull-on stretchy pants are a practical option. But quality is crucial. A lot of these types of pants are made from knit ponte fabric that tends to stretch out pretty quickly and look baggy. The last thing you want when you’ve added a few pounds is to look baggy and saggy.

You’d think that synthetics would hold their shape better, but in fact, the opposite is often the case. So, look for a high percentage of cotton or rayon as part of the blend for this type of pant.

As for skirts and dresses, your favorite LBD might still work, since darker colors are less reflective of light. That means new bulges won’t show up as much.

Darker colors, in general, tend to be more slimming. But be sure to look at yourself from all angles, including from the back. This is important if you tend to carry your weight on your backside, hips, or thighs.

Fuller skirts can hide wider hips. Pleated ones will tend to emphasize bulk at your hips and bottom. The currently very popular midi and maxi skirts and dresses are another great option.

And then there is the pocket conundrum. In-seam and angled pockets will “pooch” out when you walk or sit down. Patch, welt, or flap pockets are better for pants, jeans, dresses, and jackets when you’ve added a few pounds.

Add a Top

The shape of a neckline can make a big difference in how slim or pudgy you look. There are some that are just more slimming than others.

Any V-neck top will lengthen the look of your torso. That also goes for surplice tops. They are both slimming and elongating. They also add a little allure because they emphasize your bust line.

But if you wear a simple V-neck top, make sure it ends at least a little further down than the top of your breastbone. Too short a V-neck can make your bust and the upper half of your body look larger than it is.

Shorter sleeves also draw attention to the size of your bust, your upper body, and any arm flab you might feel awkward about showing. Three-quarter sleeves are universally flattering. Just make sure they hit a few inches below your elbow where your arm starts to narrow a bit.

Outerwear

The oversized, bulky menswear type jackets are still very popular right now (frankly, I can’t figure out why). But if you’re carrying a little extra weight, they can make you look heavier than you are.

It takes a lot of boldness in your personal style to carry them off without looking as though you just made a mistake or borrowed ъоур husband’s jacket.

A more traditional blazer, especially one that is slightly longer than your hip line, can elongate your figure. If you tend to gain weight in your middle, look for one that indents at the waist.

If you like the look of a double breasted version, just wear it unbuttoned. Otherwise you can tend to look boxy and heavier.

There are some really cool shorter trench-like coats available this spring. They hit at about mid-thigh and work great with pants and jeans. As an alternative, a duster jacket is a terrific solution for creating a longer and leaner-looking line.

The longer knit sweaters can work too, but only if your body shape, regardless of your weight, is more rectangular than curvy. When you have curves, those sweaters tend to hang up on your bum and hips as you move and walk.

Timeless Tips for Looking Slimmer

There are a few secrets to looking better in your clothes regardless of your weight. For one thing, stand up straight. A lot of us have gotten a little lazy in that department because we’ve either been slumping over our iPads or computers or watching way too much TV or movies.

So, take note if you find that your shoulders are curling forward. If they are, just gently bring your shoulder blades slightly closer together and lift your sternum and chin – also slightly.

And try sitting on a hard surface so you can find those “sit bones” at the base of your bum. It might require wiggling a little bit and moving your pelvis away from your tailbone. That automatically sets your spine in motion to sit taller.

You’ll be amazed what a difference those two little things will make in how you look… and how you feel!

Have you gained a few pounds while locked at home, or have you been exercising regularly? How do you intend to dress differently when you emerge from quarantine? Do you have any pieces of clothing in your wardrobe that will help you look slimmer? Please share the strategy you think will suit you best.

As with most skincare treatments that go beyond your standard cleansing routine or at-home product, tanning is one of those things that is best left to a professional and far away from harmful tanning beds. However, I won’t knock anyone for wanting to keep up their glow while distancing or spending way less time outdoors. DIY tanning is a viable solution, but not without a few expert tips to keep you from going overboard.

Prep the Skin

First, always shower, remove makeup, and lightly exfoliate your face before applying a self-tanner to the face and/or body. (Keep in mind that certain products may not allow body cleansing up to as much as 8 hours beforehand.) According to Sophie Evans, St. Tropez’s Skin Finishing Expert, the last product in your routine should preferably a toner or a gentle face polisher.

“Always avoid heavy oils. Any oils left on the skin will prevent your self-tan from developing,” she says. “After cleansing, gently blot your face dry and apply any eye creams or serums you would typically use in your skincare routine.”

Bliss.

Buy: Bliss Bright Idea Vitamin C + Tri-Peptide Eye Cream $21.99

Just be sure to give those products time to fully absorb into the skin since facial self-tanner should be applied all over, including over the upper eyelid and under the eye.

Exfoliating minutes before self-tanning is fine, but if you want to achieve a deeper tan, Evans also says “you will find that exfoliating the day before or 8 hours before will allow your skin to be at a more neutral/natural ph which is perfect for self-tan development.”

Pick Your Product

The type of self-tanning product you choose should come depend on your skin type and lifestyle. According to Evans, foams and mousse are lightweight and dry fast, but if your skin is on the drier side, “gels and face serums will be your first choice.”

St. Tropez.

Sprays are easy to apply and great for everyone, but again, a serum delivers just a bit more hydration. “With St. Tropez’s Self Tan Purity Vitamins Bronzing Water Face Serum ($30) the formula is compacted down to supercharge your skin with its vitamin complex and hyaluronic acid tanning system,” she adds.

“The unique Sunshine Complex mimics the positive feel-good effects that you would normally get from sunlight exposure, and the tropical fragrance instantly lifts your mood.” (Major plus: it feels powder soft and illuminates your skin with just one application.)

St. Tropez.

Buy: St. Tropez Self-Tan Express Bronzing Gel $44

There are also express self-tanners, including the ones in St. Tropez’s famous Purity collection, that doesn’t require showering beforehand if you need to glow on the go.

Whether you go with a spray, foam or mousse, you’ll definitely want to apply it with a tanning mitt to avoid staining your palms or creating visible streaks and uneven color. From there, you simply swipe, wait (if required), and rinse (if it isn’t an express treatment). Should you want to chisel those cheekbones for the illusion of a contoured makeup look, you can literally apply it to your face with self-tanning serum.

“Mix the St. Tropez Purity Vitamins Bronzing Water Serum with your favorite non-oil based moisturizer and apply all over the base of your face, blending down the neck and onto the décolletage. Drier skin tends to need slightly more product than oilier skin,” says Evans.

“The key is to have enough product so that the serum can glide effortlessly over the skin. Using a foundation brush or beautyblender, contour the face by creating a number three down each side profile. All you have to do is wait about 4 hours for a light and a natural contour that will last about 2-3 days.”

Keep Up Your Glow

The longevity of your DIY tan job will depend on the type of product you use. In most cases, Evans says a foam or mousse will give you 10-14 days of color before it starts fading. In the interim, daily moisture will keep it looking fresh.

St. Tropez.

“Moisturize daily with non-oil based products and then every 2-3 days, use a gradual tan like St Tropez’s Gradual Tan Watermelon Infusion Body Lotion to boost color and hydrate your skin in between self-tanning. Also, exercise and lifestyle choices can affect the longevity of your glow.”

Finally, don’t let a pimple or breakout keep you from using a self-tanner at home. While acne products certainly don’t help the longevity of a self-tan, applying a self-tanner over acne and pimples takes the redness out and actually helps conceal.”

“Just make sure you are lightly exfoliating the area before and a few days afterward especially if you are using a self-tan with a tinted guide color,” says Evans.

Our mission at STYLECASTER is to bring style to the people, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale and the retailer may receive certain auditable data for accounting purposes.

One thing that has become so clear to us over the last few weeks is that our home environments can have a huge impact on our health and happiness. Even small changes, like adding plants to our homes, or using essential oils to freshen the air, can make a huge difference.

So, today, I want to share some tips for using essential oils to clean and freshen the air in your home. I hope that you will also share some of your favorite essential oils with us.

Let’s age beautifully, inside and out! Check out our own “Aging Beautifully” affirmation cards. They will inspire you to live your life to the fullest and enable you to find joy and passion in the decades ahead.

Do you use essential oils? Which ones do you use and for what purpose? Let’s have a chat!

Leah McSweeney’s Pink Slip Dress in The Hamptons

Real Housewives of New York Season 12 Episode 4 Fashion

As The Morning Toast girls like to say, on last night’s episode of RHONY in The Hamptons Leah McSweeney was everything of the sort; I mean, she initiated some naked-wasted skinny dipping, maniacally threw Ramona’s tiki torches Game of Thrones-style, and of course gave us some great fash-un. So needless to say, we really don’t foresee Bravo giving this newbie a pink slip to match her dress here anytime soon. 

Fashionably,

Faryn

Click Here to Shop Her Wilfred Dress in Many Colours

Originally posted at: Leah McSweeney’s Pink Slip Dress