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Why You Should Commit to the Carry-On and Tips for Making it Easy

Why You Should Commit to the Carry-On and Tips for Making it Easy

The world is divided into two different kinds of people: overpackers and underpackers. If you fall into the first category, don’t turn away yet! Give me a few minutes to try and convince you that there is a better way to travel.

As you might already suspect, I am an underpacker. My measure of a packing fail: Coming home with even one thing in my suitcase that I did not need, use or wear during my trip. I do fail sometimes, but not often anymore.

Here’s how to pack lighter – all lessons I learned the hard way.

Start with an Attitude Change

It helps that I don’t really care how I look. I don’t mean I would travel in ripped or dirty clothes. But I don’t need to be the glammed up center of attention. In fact, when you’re traveling, the more you can blend in, the better. You’re less likely to be targeted by pickpockets and local scammers.

Spend a little time researching what the locals wear and try to pack like that. This is the lesson I learned when I wore my electric blue winter coat to Romania, a former Soviet block country where there were two colors of winter coat: grey and black.

So if you simply must be a fashion plate, try to pare down the clothes to a capsule wardrobe of items you can mix and match and pieces that will do double duty.

Use a Packing List

These printable packing lists will give you a feel for the things you’ll need. If the list includes something you don’t think you’ll need, don’t pack it. If there is something missing, make a note on the printed sheet so you don’t forget it.

Check the Weather Forecast

I make this recommendation because I live in Chicago. We like to say, “If you don’t like the weather, wait 10 minutes.” Here, the calendar might say May, but the thermometer might say March. Or July.

So check the forecast for your destination. It will tell you whether to pack a raincoat, sunhat, shorts, or sweaters.

Start Packing Early

If you have a spare bed, room, couch or some other spot to hold the things you want to pack, start a week early and put everything on the bed that you think you might want on your trip.

Then walk away.

Come back the next day and look it over. Is there anything missing? Is there anything you think you might not need on the trip? Make adjustments accordingly.

Then walk away.

Come back the next day with the intention of making choices. If you have two pairs of pants on the bed, take away one pair. If you have four shirts, take away two. And so on, until you have cut in half the things on the bed.

Then walk away.

The next day, it’s time to pack. Start with the pieces of clothing you absolutely MUST have with you.

If you run out of suitcase before you run out of clothes to pack, you get to make a choice: Leave something else behind or pay $40 or more to check a bag.

Buy Packing Cubes

I resisted buying this travel essential for years. Now I can’t believe I ever traveled without them.

Packing cubes are flexible pouches with a brilliant zipper system. You pack them with the clothes you want to take, and zip them shut. Then – this is the brilliant part – you zip a second zipper to compress the insides flat. (Think of it like your expandable suitcase, when you open that second zipper, it gives you an extra inch or two of suitcase space. When you zip it shut, everything inside is compressed.)

As a bonus, the clothes you lay inside the packing cube are much more likely to stay wrinkle free. I don’t know why. But it’s true.

Stick with One Basic Color

When I head to a Caribbean resort, that color will be white. But most of the time, it’s black – black pants, a black skirt, a black dress. Then I add color in the tops I will wear with the pants and skirt. Finally, I pack a few scarves and funky costume jewelry to dress everything up or down and add more color.

Wear the Heavy Stuff on the Plane

There are plenty of TikTokers and travel hacker influencers who will tell you to wear layers and layers on the plane to save suitcase space. Or to pack a pillowcase with your stuff and pretend it’s a pillow, not a suitcase, so it doesn’t count as a carryon.

While that might be useful info for travelers on uber-budget airlines that charge for anything that doesn’t fit under your seat, you really don’t have to go that crazy. Just use a little common sense.

If, for example, you’re flying from Florida to Colorado, you know you’ll need your winter coat, hat, gloves, hiking boots and heavy jeans. Wear the jeans and hiking boots on the plane, stuff the hat and gloves in the coat pockets and carry the coat on the plane rather than packing it in a suitcase.

I do this anyway because I’m always chilly on a plane. I’m always surprised when I see someone boarding a flight in shorts and flip flops. I would be blue by the time I landed!

Think Layers, Not Bulk

Thin layers are always the right answer, no matter where you are. Even a Caribbean vacation requires preparing for chilly evenings or overly air-conditioned restaurants. Layers are the answer to staying warm and packing light.

Make the Best Use of Your Under-Seat Bag

Finally, remember that you get not one, but two things to carry onto the plane – a bag that goes into the overhead and a smaller bag that fits under the seat in front of you.

Don’t waste the space in that second bag!

My go-to is a roomy backpack because I travel with a lot of electronics – laptop, Kindle, phone, ear buds and all of the cords and accessories they require. But those only take up two zippered compartments. That leaves two more compartments for other things – makeup bag, an extra pair of shoes, etc.

The other thing that works for me is a big striped bag that is super flexible. I can cram a lot into it and still stuff it under the seat. The downside of that is it is heavy to carry, unlike my backpack which easily distributes the weight across my shoulders.

Practice, Practice, Practice

I know. This isn’t easy. Especially if you’ve always been an overpacker. But practice will make perfect. Try it on your next quick weekend trip. That will give you a chance to see how it feels to only pack what you’ll need for 2-3 days, how much you like being able to lift that light carry-on bag and how happy you are not worrying about whether your suitcase will show up at the other end of your flight.

Just remember to pack one more thing: a credit card. That way, if you find you truly can’t live without something for a few days, you can head to the store to buy it.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Are you an overpacker or an underpacker? What’s your favorite packing hack? Share with us in the comment section below.

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Not as Happy in Retirement as You’d Hoped? You Might Be Missing This

Not as Happy in Retirement as You’d Hoped You Might Be Missing This

Are you not as happy in retirement as you had hoped? Please know there are many women out there who feel exactly the same way. Part of the problem might be that you haven’t yet found your rhythm. This article will help you figure out what that looks like for you.

It took me a while to figure out my own rhythm. My husband and I are very different in the mornings: he’s a hare (think Energizer Bunny), I’m a tortoise (think Goldilocks: everything has to feel just right before I move). For a while I tried to sync up with him. It did not go well. When I finally stopped fighting my own rhythms and started honoring them instead, something shifted – not just in my mornings, but in how my whole week felt.

Over a year into my retirement, I’m still figuring out my own rhythm. A typical week for me has some combination of coaching women navigating retirement, exercising, and spending time doing art. As a sidenote, art barely gets attention in the field of healthy aging, but I heard something on NPR recently suggesting that time spent creating or looking at art is as protective as physical activity when it comes to longevity. I’m choosing to believe that. It’s either true or I’ve spent a lot of money on a hobby I was going to pursue anyway.

When the Structure Disappears

For decades, work built the scaffolding for your days. When it disappeared, most of us realized we had no idea how to build it ourselves.

When that structure goes, women tend to land in one of two places. Some fill the calendar immediately – classes, committees, coffee dates, anything to recreate the feeling of a purposeful week. Others want nothing on the calendar at first, which is a completely reasonable response after years of obligation.

Both make sense. The trouble comes when you lean on either strategy because it feels safe rather than because it energizes you — and you end the day feeling a little hollow without knowing why.

There’s research worth knowing about: retirees consistently spend the most time on what makes them least happy – watching television, staying home alone – and the least time on what actually energizes them. Awareness of this is the first step to changing it.

When we’re running on autopilot, we tend to do what feels familiar and comfortable. But comfortable isn’t always the same as fulfilling. The difference usually comes down to whether we’re actually listening to what we want — and whether we’re willing to give ourselves permission to pursue it.

Daily Anchors: Not All Habits Are Created Equal

One of the most effective things you can do is build a small practice into your morning – something that helps you check in with yourself before the day takes over. I call these anchors: deliberately chosen, mindful practices that give the day a grounded starting point. Without them, most of us slip into default mode, doing familiar things on autopilot that don’t actually set us up for a fulfilling day.

After I pour my coffee, I sit in my recliner and write in my journal. The journal is right on the table – it’s there before I even sit down. The coffee triggers it. No decision required. Writing helps me figure out how I want to feel that day and how I want to structure my time accordingly.

For you, maybe it’s sitting outside for 10 minutes before checking your phone, taking a short walk, meditating, or talking with your partner over breakfast – a small act that signals the day is yours before it belongs to anyone else.

Here’s the thing: some of what we do on autopilot is worth keeping – a morning walk, a journaling habit, coffee with a friend. Those are anchors. But some automatic behaviors are just comfortable defaults that crowd out the things that would actually fill us up. The Two-Minute Anchor Audit helps you tell the difference.

Try the Two-Minute Anchor Audit:

  1. Write down everything you do on autopilot in a typical day.
  2. Next to each one, ask: is this a genuine anchor that sets me up well – or a comfortable default I’ve never really chosen?
  3. You don’t need to change anything yet. Just notice.

A good anchor is consistent, attached to something that already happens, and chosen because it supports the kind of day you actually want. Start with one. The day begins to hold its own shape.

I work with one woman whose mornings always start with a flurry of texts to friends – checking in, making sure everyone is okay before she’s had a single moment for herself. It feels caring. It also keeps her locked in the caregiver role she’s trying to shift away from.

What are your automatic behaviors actually doing for you? Grounding you – or keeping you stuck in a pattern you’re ready to move away from?

Weekly Rhythms: One Size Does Not Fit All

Anchors give your days a foundation. Rhythms give your week a shape. And this is where things get genuinely personal – because there is no one correct retirement rhythm.

As you read the four patterns below, notice which one feels most like you – or excites you the most. Choose based on what genuinely energizes you, not just what you’ve always done.

The Spacious Rhythm

You love solitude and find a packed schedule suffocating. A few anchors, a lot of open time. The goal isn’t to fill the space – it’s to inhabit it without guilt.

One subscriber of my weekly newsletter, The Bold Retirement Dispatch, put it this way: “I truly enjoy reading, meditating, and cuddling with my cat. But when I’m asked what I do in retirement, I often hear: But what else do you do?” If you recognize that question – and the frustration behind it – you’re probably a Spacious type.

The Social Rhythm

Connection is your organizing principle. Too much alone time genuinely depletes you. Lunches, walks with friends, classes, volunteering, community – these are what make the week feel full in the right way.

The Project Rhythm

You thrive with forward motion. One meaningful undertaking gives you the focus retirement no longer supplies automatically. The test isn’t whether it keeps you busy. It’s whether you end the day feeling like you did something that genuinely mattered to you – something that left you with a real sense of satisfaction, not just completion.

The Eclectic Rhythm

You love variety. No single thing dominates. Movement, creativity, connection, solo time for quiet activities, meaningful work woven together across the week. That last one is mine – still a work in progress. Some weeks feel great. Some weeks I’m not getting enough art time. That’s what my morning journal is for – it helps me hit the reset button and realign my priorities before the week gets away from me.

When you find your rhythm, the week stops feeling like something to get through and starts feeling like something you’ve actually designed. What matters most is that the rhythm is actually yours. Not your neighbor’s. Not what looks productive from the outside. Yours – arrived at by listening to what genuinely fills you up and giving yourself permission to build around that.

What This Chapter Could Actually Feel Like

What keeps coming back to me, in my own retirement and with the women I work with, is that the shift usually starts small. One anchor that’s genuinely yours. One week where the rhythm feels a little more like you. A Tuesday that ends with you thinking: That’s a good day – and you know exactly why.

One good Tuesday is how it starts.

If you read through those four rhythm types and felt a flicker of recognition – that’s me, that’s the one I want to invite in – I hope you’ll pay attention to that.

I created the free Retirement Vision Starter Kit for women who are ready to look honestly at what’s working and what isn’t. It helps you see where your retirement currently stands across five dimensions of wellbeing – and which ones need more attention. It takes about 20 minutes and it’s free. Most women tell me it’s the first time retirement has started to feel a little clearer.

The Starter Kit helps you identify what’s been missing, which parts of your life need more energy, connection, meaning, or growth – and where to start.

Download the free Retirement Vision Starter Kit

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What’s one anchor or rhythm that’s been working for you in retirement – or one you’re still trying to figure out? I’d love to hear in the comments.

Skin Care

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How to Make Your Own Essential Oil Blend for Mature Skin (Recipe)

A Basic Essential Oil Blend for Everyday Mature Skin Care

With all the wonderful natural facial serums on the market today, it can be a little overwhelming choosing the correct formula with safe, non-toxic ingredients, all at a reasonable price. The good news is that it’s easy and fun to make a quality product on your own using the miracle of nature – essential oils. 

When I started working with skincare formulas in 2003, one of the first products I was excited about making was an essential oil-based facial serum. My skin needs were changing, and a moisturizing oil made perfect sense for dry, maturing skin.

I decided to work with four wonderful healthy aging essential oils I had discovered: Lavender, Frankincense, Rose Geranium, and Carrot Seed.

The natural and highly effective nature of essential oils makes them perfect for skincare. When blended for their various properties and used with a carrier oil that matches your skin type, you can create a serum tailor-made for your skin.

What Are Essential Oils?

Essential oils are the essence of plants. Hidden away in many parts of the plant, like the flowers, seeds, and roots, they are very potent chemical compounds. They can give the plant its scent, protect it from harsh conditions, and help with pollination.

The benefits of essential oils on humans are diverse and amazing. Lavender flower oil, for example, contains compounds that help soothe skin irritation and redness, while the scent reduces feelings of anxiety and stress.

The beautiful Rose essential oil is hydrating to the skin and sometimes used to treat scarring, while the scent is known to help lift depression. 

There are many essential oils to choose from for specific skincare needs. I have used a myriad of different combinations but keep coming back to the tried and true blend from my very first serum.

The four essential oils used are the workhorses of skincare for mature skin, as well as being wonderfully uplifting for mind, body, and spirit. 

The Base Oil Blend Formula

Here’s what you’ll need:

Bottle

1 oz. amber dropper bottle. You can find those in pharmacies or online.

Base (Carrier) Oil

As a base, you can use one of the oils below or a combination of several that meet your skin’s needs:

  • Jojoba oil is my base oil of choice. It’s incredible for most skin types: it’s extremely gentle and non-irritating for sensitive skin, moisturizing for dry skin, balancing for oily skin, ideal for combination skin, and offers a barrier of protection from environmental stressors. It also helps skin glow as it delivers deep hydration.
  • Rosehip oil smooths the skin’s texture and calms redness and irritation.
  • Argan oil contains high levels of vitamin E and absorbs thoroughly into the skin leaving little oily residue.
  • Avocado oil is effective at treating age spots and sun damage, as well as helping to soothe inflammatory conditions such as blemishes and eczema.
  • Olive oil is a heavier oil and the perfect choice if your skin needs a mega-dose of hydration. Just be aware that olive oil takes longer to absorb and leaves the skin with an oily feeling. This may be desirable for extremely dry, red, itchy skin.

Essential Oils

  • Lavender essential oil is very versatile and healing. It helps reduce inflammation, kill bacteria, and clear pores. Its scent is also calming and soothing.
  • Frankincense essential oil helps to tone and strengthen mature skin in addition to fighting bacteria and balancing oil production.
  • Rose Geranium essential oil helps tighten the skin by reducing the appearance of fine lines, helps reduce inflammation and fight redness, and offers anti-bacterial benefits to help fight the occasional breakout. The scent is also known to be soothing and balancing.
  • Carrot seed oil is a fantastic essential oil for combination skin. It helps even the skin tone while reducing inflammation and increasing water retention.

The Recipe

Let’s start with a simple recipe:

  • 1 oz. Jojoba oil (or carrier oil of your choice)
  • 10 drops Lavender
  • 10 drops Frankincense
  • 10 drops Rose Geranium
  • 10 drops Carrot seed oil 

Place the essential oil drops in the amber dropper bottle then fill with Jojoba/carrier oil. It’s that simple!

Applying Your Homemade Serum

Use this serum morning and evening as part of your regular skincare routine. Serums work best when applied after cleansing your face. You can cleanse with Coconut Oil or a mixture of oils for enhanced hydration (we will cover this in the next article) or use your regular facial cleanser.

Essential oils will not interfere in any way with your normal skincare products.

Keep in mind that the serum is concentrated. Use only a pea-sized amount, work it into your fingertips, and apply evenly over the face without tugging or pulling.

If your skin feels tacky, reduce the amount on the next application. Your skin should feel soft, not oily. Follow with your regular moisturizer if you like. 

Making your own facial serum is fun and rewarding! I look forward to hearing your thoughts and ideas on essential oils and making personalized serums and skincare.

What facial serum do you use? Have you made one yourself? What is your favorite essential oil for skin care? Please share your thoughts with our community!

Not as Happy in Retirement as You’d Hoped? You Might Be Missing This

Not as Happy in Retirement as You’d Hoped You Might Be Missing This

Are you not as happy in retirement as you had hoped? Please know there are many women out there who feel exactly the same way. Part of the problem might be that you haven’t yet found your rhythm. This article will help you figure out what that looks like for you.

It took me a while to figure out my own rhythm. My husband and I are very different in the mornings: he’s a hare (think Energizer Bunny), I’m a tortoise (think Goldilocks: everything has to feel just right before I move). For a while I tried to sync up with him. It did not go well. When I finally stopped fighting my own rhythms and started honoring them instead, something shifted – not just in my mornings, but in how my whole week felt.

Over a year into my retirement, I’m still figuring out my own rhythm. A typical week for me has some combination of coaching women navigating retirement, exercising, and spending time doing art. As a sidenote, art barely gets attention in the field of healthy aging, but I heard something on NPR recently suggesting that time spent creating or looking at art is as protective as physical activity when it comes to longevity. I’m choosing to believe that. It’s either true or I’ve spent a lot of money on a hobby I was going to pursue anyway.

When the Structure Disappears

For decades, work built the scaffolding for your days. When it disappeared, most of us realized we had no idea how to build it ourselves.

When that structure goes, women tend to land in one of two places. Some fill the calendar immediately – classes, committees, coffee dates, anything to recreate the feeling of a purposeful week. Others want nothing on the calendar at first, which is a completely reasonable response after years of obligation.

Both make sense. The trouble comes when you lean on either strategy because it feels safe rather than because it energizes you — and you end the day feeling a little hollow without knowing why.

There’s research worth knowing about: retirees consistently spend the most time on what makes them least happy – watching television, staying home alone – and the least time on what actually energizes them. Awareness of this is the first step to changing it.

When we’re running on autopilot, we tend to do what feels familiar and comfortable. But comfortable isn’t always the same as fulfilling. The difference usually comes down to whether we’re actually listening to what we want — and whether we’re willing to give ourselves permission to pursue it.

Daily Anchors: Not All Habits Are Created Equal

One of the most effective things you can do is build a small practice into your morning – something that helps you check in with yourself before the day takes over. I call these anchors: deliberately chosen, mindful practices that give the day a grounded starting point. Without them, most of us slip into default mode, doing familiar things on autopilot that don’t actually set us up for a fulfilling day.

After I pour my coffee, I sit in my recliner and write in my journal. The journal is right on the table – it’s there before I even sit down. The coffee triggers it. No decision required. Writing helps me figure out how I want to feel that day and how I want to structure my time accordingly.

For you, maybe it’s sitting outside for 10 minutes before checking your phone, taking a short walk, meditating, or talking with your partner over breakfast – a small act that signals the day is yours before it belongs to anyone else.

Here’s the thing: some of what we do on autopilot is worth keeping – a morning walk, a journaling habit, coffee with a friend. Those are anchors. But some automatic behaviors are just comfortable defaults that crowd out the things that would actually fill us up. The Two-Minute Anchor Audit helps you tell the difference.

Try the Two-Minute Anchor Audit:

  1. Write down everything you do on autopilot in a typical day.
  2. Next to each one, ask: is this a genuine anchor that sets me up well – or a comfortable default I’ve never really chosen?
  3. You don’t need to change anything yet. Just notice.

A good anchor is consistent, attached to something that already happens, and chosen because it supports the kind of day you actually want. Start with one. The day begins to hold its own shape.

I work with one woman whose mornings always start with a flurry of texts to friends – checking in, making sure everyone is okay before she’s had a single moment for herself. It feels caring. It also keeps her locked in the caregiver role she’s trying to shift away from.

What are your automatic behaviors actually doing for you? Grounding you – or keeping you stuck in a pattern you’re ready to move away from?

Weekly Rhythms: One Size Does Not Fit All

Anchors give your days a foundation. Rhythms give your week a shape. And this is where things get genuinely personal – because there is no one correct retirement rhythm.

As you read the four patterns below, notice which one feels most like you – or excites you the most. Choose based on what genuinely energizes you, not just what you’ve always done.

The Spacious Rhythm

You love solitude and find a packed schedule suffocating. A few anchors, a lot of open time. The goal isn’t to fill the space – it’s to inhabit it without guilt.

One subscriber of my weekly newsletter, The Bold Retirement Dispatch, put it this way: “I truly enjoy reading, meditating, and cuddling with my cat. But when I’m asked what I do in retirement, I often hear: But what else do you do?” If you recognize that question – and the frustration behind it – you’re probably a Spacious type.

The Social Rhythm

Connection is your organizing principle. Too much alone time genuinely depletes you. Lunches, walks with friends, classes, volunteering, community – these are what make the week feel full in the right way.

The Project Rhythm

You thrive with forward motion. One meaningful undertaking gives you the focus retirement no longer supplies automatically. The test isn’t whether it keeps you busy. It’s whether you end the day feeling like you did something that genuinely mattered to you – something that left you with a real sense of satisfaction, not just completion.

The Eclectic Rhythm

You love variety. No single thing dominates. Movement, creativity, connection, solo time for quiet activities, meaningful work woven together across the week. That last one is mine – still a work in progress. Some weeks feel great. Some weeks I’m not getting enough art time. That’s what my morning journal is for – it helps me hit the reset button and realign my priorities before the week gets away from me.

When you find your rhythm, the week stops feeling like something to get through and starts feeling like something you’ve actually designed. What matters most is that the rhythm is actually yours. Not your neighbor’s. Not what looks productive from the outside. Yours – arrived at by listening to what genuinely fills you up and giving yourself permission to build around that.

What This Chapter Could Actually Feel Like

What keeps coming back to me, in my own retirement and with the women I work with, is that the shift usually starts small. One anchor that’s genuinely yours. One week where the rhythm feels a little more like you. A Tuesday that ends with you thinking: That’s a good day – and you know exactly why.

One good Tuesday is how it starts.

If you read through those four rhythm types and felt a flicker of recognition – that’s me, that’s the one I want to invite in – I hope you’ll pay attention to that.

I created the free Retirement Vision Starter Kit for women who are ready to look honestly at what’s working and what isn’t. It helps you see where your retirement currently stands across five dimensions of wellbeing – and which ones need more attention. It takes about 20 minutes and it’s free. Most women tell me it’s the first time retirement has started to feel a little clearer.

The Starter Kit helps you identify what’s been missing, which parts of your life need more energy, connection, meaning, or growth – and where to start.

Download the free Retirement Vision Starter Kit

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What’s one anchor or rhythm that’s been working for you in retirement – or one you’re still trying to figure out? I’d love to hear in the comments.

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How to Dodge the Most Common Tourist Pitfalls in Italy

How to Dodge the Most Common Tourist Pitfalls in Italy

Who hasn’t fallen prey to at least several of the most common tourist pitfalls at some point during their travels? Being ripped off on a taxi ride, being overcharged at a restaurant, or simply being unaware of the need to book ahead – we’ve all been there. After all, there’s only so much research you can do before a holiday.

Added to that, there are the slip-ups we make that would be fine in one country, but not perhaps in another. Knowing, for example, to watch out for the cycle lanes in the Netherlands or that restaurants in Spain are likely to remain largely empty until 9 or 10pm all comes in handy! In Italy, where I spend much of my year, just a little advance knowledge and a few tweaks to your day will make a big difference to skirting the most common obstacles to a stress-free vacation.

Restaurants and Bars Do’s and Don’ts

Whichever country you are visiting, my advice is to check the rules regarding restaurant service and cover charges and to establish in advance whether tipping is the norm. In Italy, a per person ‘coperto’, or cover charge, is quite normal. Tipping, whilst not compulsory, is appreciated but rather than being a fixed percentage, as in the USA, is more a case of rounding up the bill.

Enjoy a coffee at the local cafe.

When it comes to choosing a restaurant, stumbling across a modest family-run trattoria serving simple, authentic dishes can be every bit as special as fine dining. On our gastronomic hiking tours, everything from small characteristic osterias to award-winning restaurants feature on the itinerary: the common denominator is that menus celebrate the best local ingredients and showcase exceptional regional dishes.

For the best quality, the golden rule is to eat where locals go, avoiding restaurants with a view or in prime tourist locations, or places with menus translated into multiple languages and displaying pictures of dishes. And in many places, consider skipping the dessert in favour of stopping by a gelateria on your way back.

As for wine, if you’re looking for the best value, order house wine by the quarter, half or full litre. The quality will still be decent, and the wine will certainly be local.

Think you know all about Italian coffee? Coffee-making in Italy has inspired the world, but Italy clings firmly to its rituals. Firstly, cappuccinos are strictly for the morning only, while espressos are drunk throughout the day. You can still order a cappuccino after lunch, but it is considered a major faux pas: Italians believe that the heavy milk content slows down the digestive system.

Better to order an espresso or a macchiato (an espresso with a dash of steamed milk). Be aware also, that in a café, a coffee will cost more if you have it seated at a table, rather than propped up by the bar as most Italians do.

Be prepared to pay more for table service.

Aperitivo Time!

Don’t make the mistake of thinking that going out for an aperitivo – traditionally Aperol Spritz, Negroni and Campari Soda – is all about drinking. In fact, the aperitivo is viewed by Italians more as a social occasion, a time to catch up on the day’s news and transition from day to evening.

What tourists need to know, however, is that the drinks are accompanied by an appetising array of free nibbles, which may include anything from olives, nuts and crisps to mini sandwiches, cubes of cheese, bite-sized focaccia and crostini and in some places, are almost substantial enough to eliminate the need for dinner! Traditionally, spreads are more extensive in larger northern cities such as Milan. In Venice, the snacks are referred to as ‘cicchetti’.

Use Local Water Fountains

Italy deserves a huge gold star when it comes to drinking water. Unlike many European cities, there are thousands of free public drinking fountains in Italy, especially in cities such as Rome, Florence and Milan. You’ll even find some public fountains dispensing free sparkling water. Great for slating thirst on hot summer days and welcome news in terms of reducing single-use plastic waste.

Managing Your Day-to-Day Tourist Experience

Visiting Italy’s art-packed cities without seeing some of their most prized treasures can feel almost wasteful. But it’s all a question of balance. So, prioritise the attractions you most want to see, booking in advance to avoid long queues. Intersperse trips to the most famous attractions with visits to a few hidden gems and enrich your overall experience by planning early morning or late afternoon visits, particularly to the big-hitting sights.

Explore quieter Italian towns such as Bergamo.

Packing too many heavyweight visits into one day can be exhausting and costly: instead, get off the beaten track and dip into a local church to explore free art, dodge the crowds, and get a sense of local atmosphere. It’s also worth noting that some sites, such as Rome’s Trevi Fountain, now incur a fee.

Deciding whether to take a private guided tour round a town or gallery can be tricky as so much depends on the quality of the guide, so do check their credentials carefully. We work with a number of excellent City Tour Guides in Italy who we wouldn’t hesitate to recommend. Beyond that, avoid overpriced tourist experiences – in Venice, hopping on the local water bus (vaporetto) gives you the canal views without the hefty gondola price.

Shop opening times can also cause some confusion. In smaller towns and villages, particularly in the south, shops still close between around 1.00pm and 4.00pm for an afternoon break. In the larger cities such as Milan, Rome or Florence, you’ll find they tend to stay open throughout the day, particularly during the summer months.

Transport and Getting Around

Driving and knowing the ins and outs of public transport systems can be a minefield in a foreign country. If you plan to use taxis in Italy, be sure to use official ones. However, it’s worth checking public transport options from your destination airport before you fly to Italy: at some airports, trains, metro lines and airport buses can be as quick and cheaper than a taxi.

Another tip is to get to grips with train travel before you arrive. Overall, it is reasonably priced and efficient in Italy but do find out about the different services – for example, high speed (Frecciarossa, Italo and Frecciargento) and regional trains – in advance to avoid unnecessary premium prices. Many require seat reservations, and paper tickets (rather than digital) for regional trains require validation at the machine in the station concourse and on platforms.

Naturally, if you’re holidaying in any of the big cities, public transport and walking is the best way of getting around but to explore the glorious Italian countryside and smaller towns, you’ll need a car. If you are driving, watch out for ZTL zones (Zona a Traffico Limitato) when you head into town.

Using Online Reviews

Whether you’re using online reviews to book a hotel, restaurant or attraction, remember that other people’s reviews are naturally influenced by expectations and personal preferences. A restaurant may work well for a convenient lunchtime snack and consequently have multiple five-star reviews but may be disappointing for an evening meal.

The simplest meals can be the best!

Similarly, a two-star independently run hotel may attract poor reviews from guests expecting modern convenience but may be perfect if you prefer a more authentic experience. So, think carefully about exactly what you want out of your accommodation or meal and read reviews carefully.

Communicating

Last but definitely not least, you can avert multiple tourist pitfalls by learning a few fundamental words and phrases. Understanding some rudimentary rules of etiquette and being able to communicate with locals, even at a most basic level, will change how you interact with others: a simple ‘buongiorno’ as you enter a shop, bar or hotel will always set you in good stead!

Learn some basic phrases to communicate with locals.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have any of these things affected your holidays in Italy or elsewhere? Can you share any other tourist pitfalls?

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Rachel Zoe’s Black Cutout One Shoulder Dress

Rachel Zoe’s Black Cutout One Shoulder Dress / Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Instagram Fashion July 2026

Whatever Rachel Zoe wears I’m automatically searching the internet for it and/or also something similar. And thankfully we found both for this black cutout one shoulder dress that she shared on IG stories recently. Because a dress like this is always a must-have Cult classic. 

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess


Rachel Zoe's Black Cutout One Shoulder Dress

Photo + Info: @rachelzoe


Style Stealers

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Originally posted at: Rachel Zoe’s Black Cutout One Shoulder Dress

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Melissa Gorga’s Crystal Embellished Mini Dress

Melissa Gorga’s Crystal Embellished Mini Dress / Real Housewives of New Jersey Instagram Fashion July 2026

This is going to be an easy post for me to write because all I have to say is that we’ve seen this crystal embellished mini dress three different times now on some of our Bravo babes. First on Alicia Carmody, then on Ariana Madix, and now we’re seeing it on Melissa Gorga. So you know the drill….. 

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess


Also Seen on Ariana Madix

Ariana Madix's Silver Crystal Studded Dress on Love Island USA Season 8 Episode 1

and Alicia Carmody

Alicia Carmody's Crystal Embellished Dress on WWHL
Melissa Gorga's Crystal Embellished Mini Dress

Click Here to Shop Additional Stock

Melissa Photo: @melissagorga / Ariana Photo: @loveislandusa / Alicia Photo: @bravowwhl


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The Four Agreements in Dating: A Mindset Makeover

The Four Agreements in Dating A Mindset Makeover

During more than a decade of online dating, I got some valuable help through regular visits with a therapist. During those visits she recommended some books to help me cope with the stresses of online dating, of which there were many! One of those books was The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. It focuses on four simple yet powerful agreements to live by.

The agreements are with yourself. These agreements helped me tremendously as I applied them to my online dating.

The First Agreement

Online dating, especially in the beginning, can leave you with a dizzying array of thoughts swirling in your head. All the choices can be confusing and exhausting. The first agreement provided me with a pathway to sorting through all those thoughts. Focusing on clear and honest communication helped me direct my energy in a useful and productive way.

The First Agreement says, “Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.”

I found this agreement helpful in both written communication and in face-to-face interactions. I was honest with others about myself, especially about some financial struggles that I was facing. The reaction I got told me a lot about the other person, whether they responded with kindness and compassion or judgment and criticism about my problems.

Also, I never bad-mouthed my ex-husband, and when I heard others speaking horribly about their exes or family members, that was my cue to say good-bye. I encountered many men whom I would call “Bitter Bob.” These were men who were generally angry about their ex and how their divorce went down. They were all too eager to criticize their ex. Bye-bye Bitter Bob!

I also met many “Mean Ones,” “Bullies,” and “Harassers” while riding the online dating rollercoaster. None of them came even close to being impeccable with their word. They were all too eager to spout hateful rhetoric. As soon as I heard their negative talk, I would say, ‘So long!’ As my mother would often say, “Good-bye to bad rubbish!”

As I stayed true to my word and to the agreement, it became easier and easier to spot the bad ones and walk away. As time went on, I became less tolerant with those who spoke negatively about others by complaining or criticizing. Of course, if I caught someone in a lie or suspected they were lying, that would also be my signal to say good-bye.

I slowly broke the habit of constantly giving people the benefit of the doubt. I’d move on quickly. I tried hard to love myself and not judge myself for my mistakes or inadequacies. I strove to find peace and happiness in my life by being honest and impeccable in my words and actions. I wanted to find another with the same mindset.

The Second Agreement

The Second Agreement says don’t take anything personally. This was so important for me to keep in mind when I’d meet the rude, lewd, and otherwise distasteful ones, such as those that ghosted me, or the haters who raged on the phone, or the various freaks and weirdos.

The Second Agreement says, “Don’t take anything personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of endless suffering.”

In the beginning of my online dating journey, it was difficult to not take the words and actions of others personally. I was astonished how many people I encountered were unhappy or hateful, and seemed to take it out on me. Were there really that many lousy men in the online dating world? Turns out, yes, there were! So, it became important for me to protect myself from the rude, disrespectful, and abusive ones by developing a thick skin.

I refused to let anyone’s bad behavior get to me. Once I accepted that what others said and did reflected their own reality, not mine, then online dating became a whole lot easier. When someone began spewing anger my way, I’d think to myself, ‘This is their problem, not mine. How could they possibly be angry with me? They don’t know me. I just met them!’

That mindset helped me tremendously in the online dating world. I was able to avoid being baited and engaging in arguments, such as disagreements over politics. I refused to try to soothe someone spinning out of control. I admit I did get frustrated at times, such as when I would have a run of bad dating luck, but I would not let individual encounters get to me. Once I learned to not take anything personally and move on quickly, online dating became more emotionally manageable. I felt more in control and happier.

The Third Agreement

The Third Agreement advises you to not make assumptions. This agreement was so helpful to me, especially when I made my decision to start doing background checks on people.  

The Third Agreement says, “Don’t make assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.”

When I began online dating, I assumed everyone else online was looking for the same thing as I was, a meaningful relationship. I got a rude awakening early on when I realized someone was trying to scam me. As time went on, I was able to spot more scammers and imposters, but I didn’t want to be skeptical about everyone and always assuming the worst, so I took to heart a quote from Ronald Reagan when he talked about adversaries; “Trust but verify.”

If something didn’t feel right, I wouldn’t hesitate to do a Google search or background check on someone, vetting tactics that are becoming more common. While getting to know someone, I’d ask a lot of questions. That part wasn’t hard because I worked in TV news and documentary production. Interviewing people was part of my job. It also helped that I’m a naturally curious person. I tried not to pry too much, but I did ask questions.

Communicating clearly can be tricky, especially when exchanging emails and messages. That’s why I always recommend that if you’re interested in someone, speak to them as soon as possible and keep the communication flowing. While speaking to others on the phone, I would often learn that what the guy on the other end really wanted wasn’t a meaningful relationship, but instead a casual fling. No thanks!

Don’t assume to know what someone else is thinking or what their viewpoints are, nor should you assume they know what you’re thinking or what your views are. Speak up. Don’t hold back your feelings and emotions. And of course, follow up by meeting as soon as possible. Do not drag out the process!

The Fourth Agreement

The Fourth Agreement urges you to do what my mother always said to me: “Always do your best.” That’s how I was raised, to always put my best foot forward when presenting myself to anyone, and to strive to do my very best in everything I undertake.

The Fourth Agreement says, “Always do your best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment. It will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.”

In dating, doing my best meant being considerate of others, treating others with respect, having honest intentions, taking care of myself, and dressing nice. Those who showed up late, or didn’t call when they said they would, or arrived on a date looking disheveled or unkempt did not score points with me. As time went on, sometimes I would give someone a second chance to improve their behavior, but three strikes, you’re out.

By reading The Four Agreements and having regular meetings with my therapist, I gained more confidence in my ability to navigate the dating landscape. It was reassuring to learn that no, I wasn’t going crazy, and that yes, everything would be all right!

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Which one of the Four Agreements resonates the most with you and why? Have you applied the Agreements to your dating life?

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Florida – Navigating Paradise

Florida – Navigating Paradise in retirement

For many years, people have dreamed of retiring to Florida and enjoying their “golden years” in the sunshine. With miles of sandy beaches, warm weather, and beautiful waterways, it’s easy to see the appeal. Florida also has no state income tax, which can help Social Security and retirement income go further.

When most people think of Florida, they picture Miami, Fort Lauderdale, or Palm Beach. And there is no doubt that life in South Florida can be vibrant and enjoyable. However, it is also the most expensive part of the state, particularly for retirees.

If you are considering a move, it may be worth exploring areas further inland or to the north. Cities such as Jacksonville, Gainesville, Pensacola, and Largo have seen population growth in recent years and can offer a more affordable lifestyle for retirees.

Things You Should Consider

1. Weather

After years of cold winters, Florida’s year-round sunshine sounds like a dream. However, how hot is too hot? As we age, it can become more difficult to adjust to high temperatures and humidity. This process, known as heat acclimatization, results in our body becoming less efficient at cooling itself. We may not sweat as quickly as we once did, and blood vessels may not expand as well to release heat. Also, seniors are also more vulnerable to dehydration, often not feeling thirsty until they are already low on fluids.

Certain medications for blood pressure, heart conditions, allergies, depression and fluid retention can also affect hydration and temperature regulation. Chronic conditions such as asthma, diabetes, arthritis, and heart disease may also make hot weather more challenging.

While many retirees enjoy an active outdoor lifestyle in Florida, the timing is crucial. Early mornings and evenings are the best times to be outside in the Florida heat and humidity. Midday heat in summer months can be intense, and temperatures can feel extreme due to humidity.

Many older residents find themselves adapting their routines to avoid these conditions just as people in colder climates avoid snow and ice. Floridians often avoid the hottest part of the day which can easily reach over one hundred degrees.

2. Allergies and Respiratory Health

Florida can be challenging for people with even mild asthma or allergies. The warm, humid climate allows plants to grow year-round, meaning pollen seasons are longer and often more intense than in other states.

Common allergens include oak trees, pine trees, ragweed, grass and weeds. These can contribute to symptoms such as runny nose, itchy eyes and difficulty breathing making you feel below par most of the time.

Humidity also creates conditions that encourage mold growth, which can be particularly problematic for people with asthma or respiratory sensitivities.

If you are renting or buying a home, it is important to check carefully for signs of mold as remediation can be expensive and exposure can significantly affect your health and wellbeing.

Using HEPA air purifiers indoors, keeping air conditioning filters clean, and monitoring daily pollen forecasts can make a meaningful difference. Staying hydrated and keeping windows closed during high pollen days is also helpful.

Coastal areas such as Sarasota, Naples, Clearwater, and St. Petersburg often benefit from sea breezes that can help reduce pollen concentration compared with inland areas.

3. Condo Costs, Insurance and HOAs

The tragic Surfside condominium collapse in 2021 had far-reaching consequences for Florida’s housing market.

In response, the state introduced stricter inspection and maintenance requirements for condominiums, particularly those that are three stories or higher and older buildings reaching certain age thresholds.

These changes have revealed long-standing maintenance issues in many older buildings that were not properly funded through reserves.

As a result, many homeowners have experienced:

  • Significant increases in monthly condominium fees
  • Large special assessments for repairs
  • Greater financial pressure on buildings with deferred maintenance

For retirees on fixed incomes, these sudden increases have sometimes been difficult and resulted in foreclosures as condos with special assessment fees and increased HOA fees have made buying these homes undesirable.

Buyers are now more cautious preferring newer buildings over older condominiums and even preferring single family homes inland than on the coastal areas. The market is currently being flooded with older condos for sale at what seems like a good price. Tread cautiously and hire a professional to ensure there are no hidden surprises and that the title search has been conducted properly.

Another major factor in buying a home is insurance. Florida has seen rising insurance costs with fewer providers willing to insure older or what they call high-risk properties at all. This has added further pressure on homeowners’ associations, which pass costs on to residents stretching an already tight budget.

Final Thoughts

Florida remains one of the most popular retirement destinations in the United States for good reason. It is a beautiful place to live when you consider the sunshine, lifestyle, and tax advantages.

Anyone considering making a move should spend a year here before committing. A successful retirement in Florida often comes down to choosing the right location, the right type of housing, and understanding the true long-term costs beyond the purchase price.

Another thing to consider is whether spending only part of the year in Florida may work better for you.

Join the Conversation:

Have you considered retiring in Florida? What are the pros that are pulling you to the Sunshine State? Have you found any cons?

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