Most people count down the days until retirement, imagining a time when they can finally leave the stress, commute and long hours behind. They imagine a time with no commitments or schedules to keep and nothing taking all their time. At first, this life may feel like freedom, but for many people who have spent decades working, the drastic change can be hard to get used to.
In the final years before retirement, many begin to disengage emotionally. They are not exactly quitting, but they start to yearn for peace and tranquility. The pace of working becomes exhausting, and they often want to ride out the next few years with as little drama and stress as possible.
Just as some couples focus more on the wedding than on being married, many seniors approaching retirement spend more time thinking about not working than what it’s like to actually be retired.
What Do You Want to Do in Retirement?
When asked what they plan to do in retirement, the same pastimes rear their heads: gardening, reading, hiking, or spending more time with family. Activities they never had enough time to fully enjoy when working. Part of what makes these activities so enjoyable is that they exist as a break from our busy lives.
If you are fortunate enough to be able to travel, your trips will last two to three weeks, and you will take a couple of trips a year. Even with planning and recovery, vacations still only take up only a fraction of the year.
Many people are surprised to discover that retirement does not immediately switch off the stress patterns built over decades of deadlines, responsibilities and constant demands. The nervous system becomes accustomed to pressure and routine, so the sudden absence of structure can feel disorienting at first.
Work gives people a reason to get up, a place to be, others who depend on them, and clear evidence that they matter. Even stressful jobs can provide momentum and identity.
The Years of Transition Are Often the Hardest
The first few years of retirement can be a period of great transition. New retirees report feelings of loneliness and isolation, especially those who live alone. Married retirees also report having a hard time adjusting to spending significantly more time together.
Men often find it more difficult than women early on in their retirement possibly due to the fact that women often maintain social connections whereas men often let work friendships fade once they retire. Men also have a greater part of their identities tied to work where women’s identities are often tied to their families.
Are You Prepared to Retire?
Preparing for retirement takes some personal insight, planning and imagination. How would you answer the following questions:
- Where will you spend your time?
- Who will you spend it with?
- What will your days look like?
- What kinds of challenges do you want?
- How will you fill your days?
- How do you see yourself in the future?
One of the best ways to prepare for retirement is to slow down a few years prior to retiring. If possible, reduce your work hours to create more time for fun. You may discover that although you love golf, you enjoy it more in moderation. Easing into retirement is definitely the way to go rather than just coming to a dead stop.
If you are not sure whether you can retire on time but hate your job, consider changing fields and working part time before taking full retirement. There are a lot of career fields that lend themselves to senior workers with more autonomy and a greater sense of accomplishment.
You can also find joy in the following:
Cultivate New Friendships
Join a chess club, cooking or pottery class. Add one or two activities to your calendar each month to see what works for you. Stay curious and be willing to try new things.
Make Sunday a True Day of Rest
Even if it means doing more on Saturday, give yourself one day with no agenda so you can get used to a slower pace and having a whole day to fill with no appointments.
Create a Side Gig
Is there something you always wanted to do, but could not pursue it because you needed to support your family? Retirement may be your chance to become an entrepreneur without the same pressures. Explore a business idea that you love and can work part time.
Volunteer
Volunteering is a great way to feel useful and maintain a sense of purpose in retirement. It can also help you build new friendships and get you out of the house.
Hobbies
This may be a good time to invest in hobbies, especially ones that get you out of your comfort zone. Start off by visiting farmers’ markets, parks, Flea markets or just walking in your neighborhood.
The important thing to remember is that retirement does not have to mean the end of your working life unless you want it to. For many people, it is a transition into a different time of engagement. One that incorporates the kind of life you want to live and the kind of person you want to be. This may be the first time in your life that you actually have to do the things you have always seen yourself doing.
For additional insights, read The Retirement Schedule That Actually Works.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
How do you see yourself in retirement? If you are already retired, how did you adjust to the new pace? Did you ease into it, and how did you know you were ready to explore something new?
