Going through a separation and divorce is difficult no matter what stage it happens in your life. It might be even more traumatic if you had a long marriage.
Below are some common mistakes women make concerning divorce.
Not Giving Themselves the Time to Grieve
Divorce is an emotional loss. No matter how bad the relationship was and how glad you are to leave your spouse, realize it is still a loss. Permit yourself to grieve.
Each person has their way and timeline when it comes to dealing with grieve. So be kind to yourself and allow yourself the time to grieve, no matter how long it takes.
Letting Emotions Ride Over Reason
Depending on the reasons for the separation, it may or may not be amicable. Don’t let your emotions of grief, anger, or resentment dictate your actions. These actions may have long-term consequences. Resentment breeds more resentment. You need to be civil if you are hoping for co-operation in a fair distribution of assets.
Making Rash Decisions
You will need to make many decisions once you resolve to separate. If you owned a house together, you would have to decide to either sell the house and split the sale proceeds or buy your spouse’s share of the house if you prefer to keep the property.
You may have to split your pensions, the family cottage, etc. Take your time to make these decisions. They may have long-term consequences.
Get the help of a financial advisor before making any financial decisions.
Turning Their Children Against Their Ex
Your children are not the cause of your relationship breakdown. Even if you despise your spouse, the children are still a part of your ex.
And your ex is a part of your children. It is in their best interest, and yours, not to taint their relationship with their father. Manage your emotions when expressing your feelings about your divorce to your children, regardless of your children’s ages.
Rushing into a New Relationship
Take time to get into a new relationship, or you may end up getting into one on the rebound. It takes time to heal from a broken relationship. You and your future deserve that.
Not Taking the Time to Establish Their Finances
Even before you take steps to separate from your spouse, you should establish your finances. If you were married, chances are you have joint bank accounts and credit facilities.
If you never had a credit facility just in your name, but as a secondary holder, you may not have a credit history. It may make it more difficult to establish credit history just in your name. You must set up individual bank and investment accounts and a credit card just in your name.
Deal with Divorce Wisely
A divorce is a traumatic event. You must seek counseling and emotional support to help you navigate this difficult time. Most importantly, give yourself time to heal. Seek professional advice from a lawyer and a financial advisor to help you make wise decisions through this challenging period.
Are you on the verge of divorce? Or have you already been there done that? What mistakes did you make that could have been avoided? Or have you watched a friend make a mistake during divorce? Please share your tips and experiences below!