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Originally posted at: Danielle Olivera’s Brown Oversized Bodysuit

This past week, I facilitated another Sacred Women’s Circle for women over sixty. This is the fifth month in a row that I’ve been doing this most rewarding work. As I always view the month of May as the month of mothers, I thought that discussing mothers, mentors and matriarchs would be appropriate. My sense was that this combination would be all-inclusive for a rich conversation, and indeed it was!

I began the session by having everyone introduce themselves and sharing that I wanted to honor and acknowledge all the wisdom in the space. I went on to say that the purpose or intention of the gathering was to honor all of our lived experiences and share our wisdom as women, mothers, mentors and matriarchs. Also discussed would be the transitions and challenges of these powerful roles.

An Invocation

I like beginning my sessions with a short invocation. This was mine: “I have created this sacred circle as a place of remembrance and renewal. Every voice matters here. Every laugh line, heartbreak, triumph, and transformation belongs. Together, we will honor the wisdom of elderhood, the power of feminine community, and the enduring sacred work of mothering one another home. May this circle be a sanctuary of truth, belonging, courage, and grace.”

I invited the participants to share in an honest storytelling style – about inheritance, influence, and the evolving power of women as we age. My thought was to not only examine the sentimental aspect of motherhood, but also to encourage a courageous conversation about the women who shaped us, who we are today, and the women we are still becoming.

What Is Mothering?

Mothering is more than raising children. It is the sacred act of tending life itself – offering compassion, protection, encouragement, truth, nourishment, and presence. Many of us have mothered families, communities, friendships, dreams, and even ourselves through times of loss and renewal. The spirit of mothering lives in every woman who has held space for another soul to grow.

The intention of my discussion questions was to inspire reflection and sharing. I began by asking the participants to look back on their childhoods and think about what women inspired and mothered them. Everyone spoke very openly and transparently. The majority of the participants claimed that their mother was the one who inspired them and loved them in a way that they wanted to emulate. They claimed that as mothers, and some as grandmothers, they learned how to love and give from their own mothers.

The Mother Wound

For others, there were no words, and I assumed that there might have been a mother wound. I shared a little about myself and my mother, who really did not have the tools to love and care in a maternally nurturing way. She had her own detached way of showing love, such as buying me my first journal and taking me on weekly library trips, inspiring the future writer in me. My father was the more nurturing of my parents, who in fact taught me how to love, to the extent that love has become my higher power.

For some, the idea of mothering is associated with grief as a result of issues such as infertility, miscarriage, estrangement, not becoming a mother, regret, ambivalence, caregiving burdens, aging parents, or being in the sandwich generation. Some of those stories remain untold.

Aging Changes & Becoming a Matriarch

We discussed what parts of ourselves have remained unchanged over the years, even as our roles, bodies and attitudes have inevitably changed. The truth is, our core personality doesn’t change but rather, it essentially evolves.

We talked a fair amount about becoming a matriarch and the question: what is old? We never really came to any conclusions but decided that it’s worthy of further discussions.

In general, matriarchy, in its deepest sense, is not about power over others, but rather, it could be thought of as wisdom in service. Matriarchy honors the elder woman as a source of guidance, intuition, resilience, and continuity. In a culture that often overlooks aging women, it’s important that we try to reclaim the sacred authority of combined experience of the big picture – realizing that our years have not diminished us – they have ripened us.

A Poetry Prompt

A request from earlier sacred circles was the desire to write more poetry, so I gave a poetry prompt which was to write a poem about what medicine important women in their lives imparted to them. They enjoyed this prompt and spent a fair bit of time writing. I then offered the opportunity to read their poems out loud.

Sacred Women’s Circles are rewarding to facilitate and participate in. During my own aging process, I’m really enjoying being a part of a community of kindred spirits. I’m also proud to say that my website has had a facelift, and I’d love for you to visit and share any comments.

Let’s Discuss:

Do you participate in a Women’s Circle? What topics do you discuss. What does mothering mean to you and how has it affected your life?

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Originally posted at: The Valley Season 3 Episode 8 Fashion

Oh life is a puzzle with pieces askew,
With socks that go missing (just one of the two).
With glasses misplaced on top of your head,
And thoughts that arrive… then promptly have fled.

We laugh at ourselves (or at least we should try),
At keys in the fridge or the why of the why.
At walking in rooms with no clue why we came—
A personal riddle with no one to blame.

There’s coffee gone cold while you search for your cup,
Then reheat it twice just to warm yourself up.
There are names on the tip of your tongue that won’t land,
And lists that get lost in the palm of your hand.

You double-check doors that you know you just locked,
Then stand there and wonder what made you feel shocked.
You pat down your pockets, retrace every step—
A detective of details you somehow miskept.

We used to be certain, so steady, so sure,
With memories crisp and intentions secure.
But now there’s a looseness, a slip and a slide,
A humbling softness we can’t always hide.

And yet—here’s the secret (it’s quietly true):
This lightness of being is gifting you, too.
For somewhere between all the slips and the spins,
A gentler perspective begins to come in.

You’re less about perfect, more willing to bend,
More open to laughter that doesn’t depend
On things going smoothly or all going right—
You’re finding your humor in life’s little flights.

You notice the moments that once passed you by,
A shared knowing glance or a well-timed reply.
A chuckle that bubbles from deep in your chest,
Reminding you gently you don’t have to “best.”

So what if you wander? So what if you pause?
So what if you’ve long since forgotten the cause?
The joy isn’t hiding in flawless recall—
It’s found in the grace with which you meet it all.

So chuckle a little when things go astray,
Let humor come softly and brighten your day.
For life isn’t testing how much you can hold—
It’s showing you stories more playful than old.

And maybe the point, as the years drift along,
Is learning to laugh when the notes feel off-song.
For joy doesn’t live in a life running straight—
It dances in detours… and shows up late.

And there, in the missteps, the slips, and the spins,
Is where a more lighthearted living begins.
Not perfect, not polished, not tidy or neat—
But joyfully human… and wonderfully sweet.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

How has life turned silly for you after 60? Do you lock your door twice and forget about it? What else happens to you that you find silly and funny?

I am a collector of stuff. I always find ways to reuse, upcycle and redecorate objects. I believe in sustainability and the second and third lives of „things“. I find shopping my home extremely rewarding: looking in drawers and cupboards for sleeping treasures waiting to be brought to life. In using what is already around me, I get to detect new potential in forgotten objects. I also believe in reinventing myself continously. Little steps go a long way. My home is an enabler of change. My space mirrors the changes that I am up to.

Here are 6 easy hacks to redecorate your home at any given time – all doable in 1 minute and without spending a dime. Just use what you find at home. As summer is approaching, most ideas are inspired by seaside souvenirs.

#1: Reusing Wreaths

Reuse a plain Christmas (or Easter) wreath to create a beachy summertime deco. Wrap the shell necklaces from Hawaii (which you never wore) around that wreath. Add shells or a starfish – here’s your fresh look for an inside wall or your entrance door.

#2: Upcycle a Plain Big Basket

Decorate a plain big basket with seaside memoirs. Use a simple string to attach the objects (so you can re-use them later on) – and here’s your unique signature basket for the entrance console or on top of an armoire.

#3: Touch Up Little Baskets

Pimp up little baskets that may hold beauty or other utensils – once more, starfish and shells do the job.

#4: Repurpose Artwork

Re-think art: artwork from the fleamarket doesn’t need to stay as is. You can change it. Scratch off paint, glue pearls, stones, photographs, postcards, dry pasta, artificial flowers or you-name-it on them. Bam, here’s your very own unique artwork. (May take more than 1 minute, but oh, the fun you will have!)

#5: New Life for Household Items

Re-purpose household stuff: my aunt once gifted me a Samowar that I never used but liked the shape of. Now, it holds my kitchenware and I get to appreciate and use it everyday. The little teapot that came with it serves as a flower vase.

#6: Re-think How You Use/Store Brooches

Re-think the way you store your brooches (if you have any). Once again, get inspired by a beach that generously displays its shells: Put your brooches on a pillow, and you’ll always see the full collection to choose from.

You can do it, too! All it takes is a little curiosity, and some „appetite“ to start the project. Rainy days help, too.

For more ideas and inspiration, see my book: 17 Steps To Being Home.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What is your design approach to the seasons? Do you buy deco new every year or rather repurpose objects? What is a hack that you have come up with? Share your creativity and inspiration with this community. Every idea is a stepping stone to the next fun project.