Author: Admin01

Standing at the terminal on a recent trip to Japan, I faced a small but nagging question: Should I pay an extra $70 each way to select my seat? It was the longest flight I’d ever taken, and I wanted to arrive as comfortable and pain-free as possible.

Depending on when you booked your flight, it is possible to see whether the flight is full by checking the airline’s seat map. If the plane looks half-empty, I will often take my chances. But if only a handful of seats remain, that’s usually a sign the flight will be full, and it may be worth paying to secure the seat you want if there’s still one available.

When you are a 60+ aged traveler, sometimes comfort trumps cost, but when you are traveling on a budget, how much is too much? After all, what you are really paying for is the ability to avoid the dreaded middle seat or being stuck so far back in the plane that it takes forever to disembark.

Sometimes that extra cost is worth it. Sometimes, it isn’t.

Here are five things to consider before pulling out your credit card.

#1. How Long Is the Flight?

For flights of one to three hours, most people can tolerate a little discomfort. Unless you are particularly tall or have mobility issues, it’s usually manageable.

But after about 90 minutes, many travelers start to feel the discomfort with aching joints, stiffness and a need to go to the restroom.

On longer flights, being able to get up easily or stretch your legs can make a real difference. The right seat may even determine whether you get any sleep at all.

#2. What Kind of Flyer Are You?

Some people simply tolerate the middle seat better than others.

If you’re average size, rarely sleep on planes, and tend to settle in without getting up much, the middle seat might not be a big issue for you.

But if you’re someone who needs space, moves frequently or values personal comfort, the extra fee for seat selection may be well worth it.

#3. Do You Need to Get Off the Plane Quickly?

If you have a tight connecting flight, seat choice can matter a lot.

Passengers seated toward the back of the plane can wait a long time before they are able to disembark. Meanwhile, those precious minutes tick away as you watch everyone ahead of you slowly gather their bags. This becomes more important if you have to go through immigration. Suddenly, a planeload of people is in front of you.

In that case, paying for an aisle seat closer to the front may save you a stressful (and painful) sprint through the airport. However, if you are like me and prefer to wait until everyone else has disembarked, where you sit is less important.

#4. Do You Love Window Views?

For some travelers, the window seat is part of the magic of flying. Looking out at the clouds or the landscape below can make the experience more enjoyable. For nervous flyers, it can also feel reassuring to see what is happening outside the aircraft and make you feel more grounded.

In that case, it may be worth the extra cost.

#5. Do You Need to Stretch or Get Up Frequently?

If you find yourself getting up regularly to stretch your legs or visit the restroom, an aisle seat can make the flight much easier.

There’s nothing worse than having to climb over two sleeping, disgruntled passengers every half hour or so. Aisle seats give you the freedom to stand, stretch and move without disturbing anyone. This may be important if you have problems with blood flow in your legs and need to walk up and down often to avoid cramping.

My Own Seat Gamble

The second leg of my flight to Japan was 14 hours. Since I was traveling on a tight budget, I decided to take my chances and skip the $70 seat fee.

On the way there, I got lucky and ended up with a window seat on a completely full flight. Even though I was unable to sleep, the fact that I could lean against the window and grab some much-needed extra room was handy. Also, only having one neighbor to contend with lessened the fight for the armrest and the invasion on personal space. As it turned out, the flight was long but comfortable, and I was glad that I had been able to save the money.

On the return trip, I was assigned a middle seat but asked to be moved. My new seat had extra legroom and was an aisle seat next to a young mother and her two small children. Fortunately, the kids were wonderful. It was a night flight, and they barely made a sound, so the trip home turned out just fine once again, saving the additional fee.

A Compromise Option

There’s always a middle ground. You could pay for seat selection one way either to start your trip with a little extra comfort or to make the journey home more pleasant.

And remember: there’s one in three chance you’ll get lucky and land a window or aisle seat without having to pay. Hopefully, towards the front of the plane.

You can also try asking politely at the gate if any seats have opened up. Sometimes passengers don’t show up, and gate agents can reassign seats.

As in most things in life, asking nicely goes a long way.

Read more about my trip Solo Trip to Japan at 66? These 5 Apps Made It Stress-Free.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What about you? Do you usually choose your seat or take your chances and hope for the best?

I don’t know about you, but as I get older, my tolerance for small talk decreases. In my active career days, I used to be in a profession in which schmoozing was important. I often took CEOs of public companies out to dinner to discuss their business goals. I advised many management teams and formed meaningful relationships with the investment community. Trust me when I tell you, a lot of small talk was involved.

Lower Tolerance for Idle Chit Chat

Now, however, I find that my tolerance for idle chit chat is not very high. I don’t know if I am all talked out, or if I just rather be spending my time having more significant conversations with people who are more important to me.

I noticed this pattern developing back at the start of the school year. There is an annual coffee for parents at my son’s school. I didn’t go. The thought of hanging around for 1.5 hours discussing how our summers were and which classes our kids were taking this year just didn’t appeal to me.

More recently, there was a gathering of my condo community in order for all the neighbors to get to know each other better. I didn’t go to this either. Anyone I want to know, I already do and am in contact with. Bah humbug!

More and more often, I find myself at gatherings and I can’t wait for the cocktail hour to end. I have this general feeling of wasting time, eager to move on to the main event.

Socioemotional Selective Theory

Thinking that the issue must be with me – after all, I used to be so good at small talk and enjoyed learning about other people’s interests – I did some research and, no, I’m not alone. Evidently, Socioemotional Selectivity Theory is at play.

Sounds scary, doesn’t it? It’s not. Basically, priorities change throughout our lifetime and as we age, we have a tendency to want more meaningful relationships and have less tolerance for shallow interactions. I am not so unique and am experiencing what many others do at my age: taking an inventory of one’s life and focusing on what really matters. This is just another result of aging that I didn’t see coming. Turns out, I’m not a total narcissist; I just value my time.

Not everyone experiences this, and I actually have one friend whose social life has expanded as she got older. Other friends have reinforced the notion that one’s friend circle gets smaller as you age.

The Value of Time Becomes More Prevalent as We Age

I don’t want to be rude, but my time is valuable. That wonderment I experienced as a young adult has definitely lessened, and I am finally realizing that I don’t need to be the life of the party, nor have many invitations. Being active in activities that I enjoy, having a tight group of friends, and being healthy are all I need to be happy and productive.

So, the next time you are bored in a conversation, by all means excuse yourself. Small talk is just that – small, polite conversation about unimportant or uncontroversial matters (that is the actual definition from a dictionary). If the topic interests you, that’s great, if not – don’t feel bad walking away in order to participate in something that you find more compelling. In the spirit of Joan Rivers, if someone asks, “Can we (small) talk,” don’t feel bad if you simply don’t want to. At our age, we have earned that privilege.

Also read I’m Having an Issue with Growing Old.

Let’s Discuss:

Do you find yourself becoming more of a wall flower as you get older or are you still the life of the party? Have you noticed a shift in your behavior in social settings?

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Originally posted at: Bailey Taylor’s Red Cable Knit Cardigan

Over the past few years, I have heard a quiet observation repeated by many women over 60.

Nothing dramatic has happened. Life is still good. Yet something subtle begins to shift. Activities and commitments that once felt natural start to invite reflection.

A question appears that many women recognize immediately when they hear it.

Which parts of life still belong in this next chapter?

For decades, women often carried several roles at the same time. Careers, families, friendships, and community responsibilities created structure and purpose. Those roles mattered. Many still do.

With time, however, some women notice that certain commitments continue mostly because they always have. The realization is rarely sudden. It arrives gradually, often during ordinary moments of daily life.

A lunch with friends feels slightly different. A weekly obligation no longer carries the same energy. Something that once felt automatic begins to invite reconsideration.

Why Priorities Begin to Change After 60

Many women say priorities begin to shift after 60 because perspective changes.

Earlier decades often revolved around schedules and responsibilities. Work, family needs, and community roles created a rhythm that kept life moving quickly. There was little time to step back and ask whether each commitment felt meaningful.

Later in life, that rhythm often softens. Space appears where constant motion once existed.

With that space comes awareness. Attention begins to move toward experiences that feel authentic and personally rewarding.

Small questions begin to surface.

• Does this still bring energy into my life?
• Am I here because I want to be?
• If I were choosing today for the first time, would I choose this again?

These reflections are not signs of dissatisfaction. They are signs of clarity.

Recognizing the Difference Between Habit and Choice

Several women describe a moment when they realize how much of life runs on habit.

Habits carry us through busy decades. They help families function and communities stay connected. They create reliability and structure.

Over time, though, habits can continue even when their purpose has quietly changed.

Choice feels different.

When something still matters deeply, participation tends to feel energizing. Conversations remain engaging. Time spent there feels worthwhile.

When a commitment continues mainly out of habit, the experience can feel more automatic than meaningful.

Simply noticing that difference often becomes the first step toward shaping life more intentionally.

Letting Some Doors Close

Many women mention that this stage of life involves quietly allowing certain doors to close.

For those who spent decades supporting others, this realization can feel complicated at first. Reliability and commitment were never weaknesses. They were strengths that built families, friendships, and communities.

Yet life naturally moves through seasons.

Roles that once required constant attention may gradually soften. Some obligations fade as circumstances change. Others simply no longer feel necessary.

Allowing a door to close does not erase the value it once held. It simply reflects that life continues to evolve.

Many women say they discover that letting go of one commitment often creates room for something more aligned with who they have become.

Choosing What Still Matters

As certain obligations fade, something interesting often happens.

The doors that remain open become easier to recognize.

Friendships that continue to feel nourishing naturally remain part of daily life. Activities that spark curiosity keep drawing attention. Conversations that invite reflection feel worth continuing.

Instead of maintaining everything at once, energy begins to flow toward the people and experiences that feel most meaningful.

Life becomes less crowded, yet often more satisfying.

Many women describe this period not as a loss of roles, but as a refinement of them. What remains tends to be chosen rather than inherited from earlier stages of life.

A Life That Reflects Who You Are Now

Women often describe this stage not as a narrowing of life, but as a clarification.

The years ahead may include travel, creative pursuits, mentoring, deeper friendships, or simply more time to enjoy the rhythm of everyday life. What matters most is that the choices guiding those experiences begin to reflect who someone has become.

Some doors remain open because they continue to enrich life. Others close quietly as new possibilities appear. Both are part of shaping a life that feels honest, intentional, and deeply personal.

Many women say the shift begins with a simple moment of reflection.

Some women discover that this moment of reflection leads to something even larger. A closer look at how people begin reinventing life after 60 and reshaping their daily lives can be explored in more depth here.

They pause and ask themselves a quiet question.

Which doors in my life still feel right to keep open?

Sometimes the answer brings surprising clarity.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Which doors have you closed after 60? Which doors are you keeping open? What pushed your decision in each direction?