It’s not
just our joints that we need to keep flexible as we get older.

The
trouble is, we find a steady way of doing things that works well for us. In
fact, it’s always worked well for us, and there’s very little incentive to
change. That is, until one day we discover that the world has moved on and we’ve
been left behind!

Here’s a
personal example. I needed to use my mobile phone the other day, and when I
took it out, my companion laughed at it. I realised that my perfectly
serviceable Apple iPhone is now about 10 years old.

Phones
don’t even look like that anymore. So, do I buy a new phone just because mine looks
a bit dated? Or do I save my money and risk being laughed at? I bet the last
person to use a quill pen had the same thoughts about upgrading to a fountain one.

Never Say Never!

Fashion
changes, obviously. And we change too, so what might have suited 20-year-old
you or 30-year-old you might not work for 60-year-old you.

I’ve lived
through miniskirts, hot pants, flares, peasant blouses, shoulder pads, afghan
coats, kitten heels, leggings (twice), hoodies, desert boots, and platform
soles. I think I could still rock the flares – but hot pants? Probably not…

Hemlines
change. Trouser legs change. Heels change. Even the way to carry a handbag
changes. That doesn’t mean we have to follow every whim of the fashion industry
– but it doesn’t mean we have to automatically disregard it either.

We have to
stay open minded and evaluate our choices. I’m a firm believer in never saying
never!

Things Move On

The tech world
changes quicker than anything. What do you use your mobile phone for? Of all
the things you can do with a mobile phone, making an actual phone call isn’t even
in the top 10 anymore.

As for
landlines, only old people give their landline number when asked for contact
information. In 2019 in the UK, 21% of households didn’t have a landline phone
at all.

Fewer and
fewer people wear watches, because their phone has the time on it.

Obviously,
we have no choice but to try and keep up!

Old or New?

When
someone suggests something new, something out of the ordinary, something
different, what’s your default setting?

Do you
immediately think, “Oh, no, that’s not for me,” or do you think, “Oo, that
sounds interesting, let’s give it a go”? Do you actively seek out the latest trends,
or do you enjoy the comfort of the familiar?

What’s
your attitude to food –
how willing are you to try new food combinations? Smashed avocado, dukkah
spice, sriracha? Or do you prefer to stick to what you know?

How about
visiting new places? Maybe you’re happier to vacation at the same place every
year. Maybe you feel safer driving on roads that you’re familiar with. Or maybe
you have a bucket list of places to see and you spend your holidays ticking
them off.

As I’m
newly single, I’m working toward discovering the joy of being able to go where
I want, when I want. Here’s what I got up to on my Road Trip
– some familiar places, some new ones.

And the
same goes for TV programmes, films, music, books, the way we do our make-up, and
a gazillion other things.

How Open-Minded Are You?

One of my
colleagues asked me the other day if I would ever get a tattoo. The honest
answer is probably not – but who knows? It’s perfectly possible.

If I did, I
think it would be a beautiful butterfly on my right shoulder blade. I can’t say
for sure that I would never have one done. In fact, the more I think about it,
the more I think – why not?

Why Not?

That’s not
to say we have to blow with the wind. Some things are not for changing, like
our values and good manners. The important thing is to stay open to the possibilities.

Don’t
automatically say no to something you haven’t tried before. Don’t avoid the new
simply because it’s new. Don’t say no –
say “Why not?”

What
new thing did you try recently that you really liked? Are you up for
experimenting with technology, food, and travel? What tattoo would you get if
you ever decided you wanted one? Please share your thoughts with our community.

Tight hips are a common complaint among post-menopausal women. Hydration, sleep, and stretching are often recommended as helpers in the fight against tight hips.

I
also believe that if we are going to alleviate chronically tight hips, we have
to stop sitting so much and start moving more.

It’s All About Movement

When
you experience muscle tightness, the solution is to work on increasing your mobility.
Scientific advancements have revealed that the sensations we feel are not
direct inputs from our muscles.

Rather,
they are inputs from nervous system sensors on temperature, blood flow,
inflammation, etc. The brain interprets this data and creates a feeling of
tightness, pain, numbness, instability, ease, or something else. 

Oftentimes,
the sensation of tightness has a lot to do with your nervous system putting on
the brakes and not allowing you to perform a certain action because it is an
unfamiliar movement and your nervous system senses you do not have the muscle
control or strength for the move. 

A
good example is hamstring tightness. If a person is unable to touch their hands
to the floor (not a goal I suggest to my clients) in a forward fold because a
tight sensation stops them, they assume that they need to “stretch” to change
the situation.

What
if I told you that your nervous system is accustomed to you sitting much of the
day and knows you do not have the hip or hamstring strength for that move? That
your healthy nervous system might put on the brakes and stop you from going too
far?

But
what if you gained strength in all the ranges of motion that your hips and legs
can naturally accommodate? Would that make your body feel more comfortable with
end range movements like a forward fold? 

I
have seen my clients gain a greater range of motion through strength and
mobility work than years of stretching classes have done for them.

If
you want to experiment with this, try all or a portion of these seven moves
daily and see how you feel in a few weeks.

Also, if you would like an online consultation, contact Sarah for a Zoom video call.

Standing Psoas Release

Put
your right foot on a block. Your heel needs to be solidly on the block so that
you can make sure your weight is more in your heels. Make sure you have support
nearby, like a wall, and use it for stability.

Swing
your free leg forward and back without trying to use your hip flexors to move.
Allow a bit of momentum to keep your leg swinging and your hip flexor on the
swinging leg relaxed. Feel as if the weight of your leg is 100 pounds and it is
being pulled toward the floor as it swings.

Switch
legs.

Standing Hip Glide 

Find
a counter or table that reaches hip height. Hinge at your hips and place
your hands on the table. From the hip hinge position move your hips from right
to left with as little waist cinching as possible.

Move
your hips a little bit to the right without a twist and hopefully you will feel
sensations in your left inner thigh. Keep both legs straight as you do this.
Then move to the other side. Go back and forth slowly. If you think you are
going slow, move even a little bit slower.

Standing Hip Circles

Stand
with your left side to the counter. With your left hand touching the counter
for stability, bring your right knee up to hip height as if you were marching. Externally
rotate the leg bone at the hip so that your knee is now pointing out to the
right.

Now
for the difficult part. Without using your low back muscles, internally rotate
that very same leg, which will swing your lower leg out. With your mind’s eye
at your knee, take that knee behind you as it sweeps back to its home base
parallel to the left knee.

Complete
this circle 3 times and then reverse the direction. Watch this video for an in-depth look at hip circles and how much they
have helped my clients with SI joint or low back pain.

Windshield Wipers Redefined

Sit
on a chair with your heels on the floor and placed wider than your hips. Your
knees are probably out to the side in external rotation. Keeping your heels
where they are, rotate the leg bones internally (your knees will move towards
each other). Continue this internal and external rotation in a lazy fun way.

Shake
that out. Starting back in external rotation again put your hands out the
outside of your knees. Press your hands into your knees and your knees into
your hands.

Feel
that resistance and after lightening up on your hands create the internal
rotation again with a focus on the resistance your hands can create going in
both internal and external rotation. Think of this as a deliberate deep
cleaning for your hip joints while also working your inner and outer thighs.

Leg Lifts

Stand
with your left side to the counter. Your right leg is extended straight in front
of you and the right heel is resting on a block. Hinge at your hips until you
feel sensation in the back of your right leg.

Hold
there and draw your right toes toward your face. Remember to breathe as you
feel the sensations. Repeat 3 or 4 times.

Standing
in neutral now with your weight in your left leg, lift your right heel off the
block while keeping your torso still and your hips steady and neutral. Lift 5
to 7 times. Only lift as high as you can go without your hips, spine or
shoulders shifting. It may be that you barely lift off the block and that is
fine.

Repeat
on the other side.

Squat

Position
your legs wider than your hips with your legs hip distance apart. Take a little
squat with your rear traveling behind you. Look down at your knees and notice
where they are.

Come
back up and this time make sure your hips are travelling behind you and your
knees do not migrate towards each other. If your knees come forward a bit it is
not a big deal, but do not let your knees collapse in.

As
you squat, imagine you have racing stripes on your pant legs and push into the
racing stripes to keep from collapsing in.

We
will take 8 slow squats counting to 4 to go down and counting to 4 to come up. Resist
the down using your glute muscles as brakes. Press through your heels and use
your glute muscles as elevators.

Iliacus Release

Prop
your hips up on a block, bolster, or a few firm pillows. Your feet will be
placed on the ground about hip distance apart. Your pubic bone is higher than
your hip bones and they are both higher than your waist.

Begin
to breathe slowly. Imagine that the whole front of your legs and hips are
relaxing and letting go. The muscles are just sliding down off the bolster
toward your navel. Continue to breathe as you see in your mind’s eye that your
hip flexors are relaxing into your body. Stay here as long as you like.

Everyday Movement

There
is a sweet middle road where we can strengthen and lengthen our muscles to
create more ease in our bodies. Short and tight muscles are essentially weak
muscles. Oftentimes, that weakness is related to the fact that you do not give
your muscles experience in a variety and diversity of positions on a daily
basis. 

The
movements above are a nice routine to add variety and diversity while bringing
an element of strength to your muscles. I always tell people that change needs
to be easy to fit into your routines or the chances of success are low. So,
start small.

Maybe
choose only one of the ideas here and try doing it at the same time every day.
Tack it onto something you already do every day, like making your coffee.

If you would like an online assessment or lesson, contact Sarah for a Zoom video call.

What
is your range of motion at the hips? Do you feel tightness that brings unease
in your movements? What do you do to interrupt your sitting time? Which of the
movements shared above looks like something you’d be able to start doing right
away? Please share with our community.

Dolores Catania’s Tie Dye Pajamas at the Jersey Shore

Season 10 Episode 14 Real Housewives of New Jersey Fashion

You know we love ourselves a good PJ set, and with the whimsical colour scheme and sweatshirt/shorts combo Dolores Catania’s tie dye pajamas at the Jersey Shore on last night’s episode of RHONJ are just totally irresistible to us. So irresistible in fact that we may just have to devour them faster than Frank Catania did those cupcakes.

Fashionably,

Faryn

Click Here to Shop Her Wildfox Sweatshirt on Sale in Limited Sizing

Click Here to Shop Additional Stock

Click Here to Shop the Matching Shorts on Sale in Limited Sizing

Originally posted at: Dolores Catania’s Tie Dye Pajamas

Valentine’s Day is one of the few holidays
that reaches all of us, regardless of our age, religion, gender, or
relationship status. It’s splashed everywhere with images of romantic love,
date nights, flowers, chocolates, and starry-eyed couples.

At the same time, young children are inundated
with cute card exchanges, parties, and of course, plenty of candy. More than
any other holiday, it celebrates an important aspect of every human being’s
life: Love.

All You Need Is Love

When I worked in bookstores, those of us
behind the counter always found the holiday amusing, as woman after woman came
in to buy hearts-and-flowers books and gifts, while male customers invariably wiped
out our stock of the Kama Sutra and other sex manuals.

“Love”
means different things to different people. But the pure, sweet, innocent
adoration between two kindergarteners deserves the word no less than the
besotted teenager, the bride on her wedding day, or the husband caring for his
wife’s daily needs, even when she no longer remembers who he is.

If we are in a relationship, Valentine’s Day
is an opportunity – or perhaps, intense pressure – to express our appreciation
toward our significant other. If we are not in a relationship, it may prompt
sadness, regret, and loneliness, or it may spark happy memories and an
appreciation for our newfound self-love.

In our 60s, we may be widowed, divorced,
married, joyously single, or longing for connection. In any case, we cannot
escape the holiday’s prod to focus on love, all its attendant joys and sorrows,
and specifically, its place in our own lives.

Find the Sweet Spot

In Feng Shui, there is one area of your home
associated with Love and Relationships. In your bagua – the nine-square grid of
your floorplan, with the wall where your front door is creating the bottom line
of the grid – the Love and Relationships area is the top
right corner section, or far right, as you face your front door wall from the
outside.

Its power color, unsurprisingly, is pink. Whether
you are in a solid, happy relationship, an unhappy one, or none at all, you can
help this area of your life by giving this part of your home a little special
attention.

Clean, Clear, and Color

First, as always, this area needs to be cleaned
and cleared of clutter. It should reflect you as you are now and should be
filled with things you love. Remember that getting rid of things you don’t
love, use, need, or want in this area will help to clear the obstacles and
impediments to your fully joyous love life.

If the idea of the color pink repels
you, remember that there are many, many variations of this color, from fuchsia
to rose gold, salmon to mauve, creamy champagne to cotton candy.

Reds and whites –
which make pink when combined – can also be used here, in moderation.
Bring in pinks in paint colors, fabrics, furniture, and artwork. Pink flowers,
such as peonies – real, artificial, or in artwork – are also good here.

Coupling Off

Another important addition you can make to
this area is an obvious one for loving relationships: things in pairs. The
traditional Chinese pair is two mandarin ducks, but a Western version might be
a modern rendering of two swans.

Hanging a set of two pictures or one picture
of two birds is a nice, easy way to start. Pairs can be furniture, objects, candles,
or knickknacks, for example. Choose items that symbolize love to you, such as
heart shapes or figurines of loving couples.

I also like to use sets of decorative bookends
for this purpose, as it’s an easy way to get two items that clearly go together
or match perfectly. And you do not have to have any books at all in the area to
use them beautifully.

Words and Images

This is the place for love affirmations,
quotes, or poetry that is meaningful to you, either in wall art, framed on a
tabletop, or written down and kept in a pretty box.

If you are in a relationship, place here
photos of your beloved and/or of the two of you together in happy times. Wedding
photos, souvenirs from happy trips or events, or love letters in a beautiful
box are all good ideas.

Love Is Everywhere

You can also find the Love and Relationships
area of all the other rooms in your home – using the door to the room as you
did your front door, and finding the far right corner of the room from there – and bring in a bit of pink or red, or some
things in pairs, happy personal photos, or love affirmations.

Just a couple of candles, a pink picture
frame, or a red pillow can add a little spark of love energy in any room.

I Believe in Miracles

All of these enhancements can help whether
your love relationship is happy or unhappy, or you are not in a relationship
but want to be in one, or you are happily alone, learning to love yourself.

Maintaining, improving, and attracting a
loving relationship call for the same love energy to be freely flowing and
healthy.

Avoid dark blue and black, wavy shapes, mirrors,
pictures of water, and water features in the Love and Relationships areas, as
these represent the Water Element. Water douses Fire, which is the Love area’s
power Element.

You can use Valentine’s Day to remind you of
the power of love, and the importance of it in all of our lives. Let it inspire
you to get to work on the Love and Relationships part of your home.

Are you content with your relationship status?
What do you think you’re lacking? Would you readily experiment with some Feng
Shui enhancements? Which ones sound most interesting and doable? Please share
in the comments below!

If you think bladder leaks are only a problem for older adults, think again. I, for one, had my first memorable bladder leak in high school. And memorable it was; I was mortified at the thought that someone might have noticed and I slinked off to the bathroom, clenching my legs together as I went. 

But here’s what I’ve learned since: bladder leaks (aka incontinence) are incredibly common for women of all ages. Nearly half of women in midlife experience bladder leaks and it just gets more common with age. So, we really have nothing to be embarrassed about. 

But don’t misunderstand me. Just because it’s time to abolish the stigma and embarrassment around bladder leaks doesn’t mean we have to accept them as inevitable. There are plenty of things you can do to tell your bladder who’s boss. Bladder leaks shouldn’t get in the way of you living your best life.

Do I think that Lily Bird pads can be a part of the solution? Of course! That’s why I’m offering you a 10-pad trial for just $1.99. 

But, there are other things that you can do to feel confident and free, too. Here are a few of my favorites. 

The Best Advice? Pee at Least Twice

No, this doesn’t mean running to the bathroom every chance you get. (That’s actually a bad idea)!

But have you ever experienced a bladder leak when you just went to the bathroom? If so, it could be that your bladder isn’t completely empty — or that some urine is stuck in your urethra. In that case, there’s a technique called double voiding that just might do the trick. 

Here’s how to do it. After you pee, either stay on the toilet or stand up and walk around for a minute – about the same amount of time that it takes to sing Happy Birthday twice. Then, try again. 

If those droplets need a bit of coaxing to come out, you can try massaging your lower stomach or inner thighs while sitting on the toilet, tugging on your public hair, running water, or tapping on your bladder.

It’s Always Good to Have a Plan B

I’m a planner, which means I always like to have a backup plan. And a high-quality absorbent product designed specifically for bladder leaks is exactly that. Because sometimes, even when Kegeling and furiously crossing your legs during a sneeze, it just isn’t enough. And menstrual pads definitely don’t cut it. (You wouldn’t use a fork to eat soup, would you?).

Plus, contrary to popular opinion, bladder leak products don’t have to make you feel like you belong in a nursing home. Yes, there are a lot of terrible products out there that imply we are all decrepit centenarians instead of midlife women living our best lives. 

That’s why I started Lily Bird. Because you aren’t old, broken, or alone and you don’t have to buy products that say that you are. At Lily Bird we like to squash stigmas about the female body, hand out 10-pad trials for only $1.99, and help our customers skip the store by delivering discreetly to their homes.

You’re the Boss: Get Your Bladder on Board with Your Schedule

Are your bladder urges the ruler of your schedule? This is so inconvenient and can seriously cramp your style. If you’re ready to tell your bladder who’s boss, it’s time to try bladder training. 

Bladder training is a technique that works wonders for both putting your bladder on a predictable schedule and also increasing the length of time in between each pit stop. All you need is a little organization and a clock.

Skip the Just-in-Case Peeing

My mom is the best. And she has the best advice — with one tiny exception. As a kid, whining that I didn’t have to go to the bathroom, she would tell me to “just go try.” (I did, though not without an eye roll). 

But it turns out that peeing when you don’t have to can break down the brain-bladder communication. Your bladder starts to think that it’s full when it really isn’t. (And no, there’s no such thing as a “small bladder”). So, stop the just-because-I’m-near-the-bathroom peeing.

Re-think Your Coffee, Wine, and Chocolate Habits

I know. Giving up coffee, wine, or chocolate is a non-starter for most of you. But before all of you click off this page, hear me out. What you eat and drink goes through your bladder and some of those things can be pretty irritating — alcohol, spicy food, and caffeine are big ones — which can make bladder leaks worse. 

The full list of potential bladder irritants is long, but the good news is that not everyone is irritated by everything. So listen to your body and cut out your triggers (or don’t, but know better what to expect). 

Dear Diary….

A bladder diary helps you figure out which foods and drinks bother your bladder. With a bladder diary, you’ll keep track of everything you eat and drink (and when) for several days. You’ll also keep track of any urges, leaks, and trips to the bathroom. 

Once you (and your doctor) look at all the information together you may find that that morning orange juice or your Szechuan chicken lunch habit are the primary culprits to blame. And once you know what irritates you, you don’t have to cut everything out. But you can selectively avoid those foods or drinks if you’re in a situation where you don’t want to be running for the restroom. 

Kegels, Kegels, & More Kegels

Kegels can do more than just make sex better. When done properly, they can strengthen your pelvic floor and improve bladder leaks. 

The key phrase here is: “when done properly.” Because most women don’t do Kegels correctly! Don’t clench your butt cheeks or abs, for starters. 

Imagine trying to hold back a stream of urine or stop from passing gas. Only a few muscles in a very specific area should be getting tighter. Until you’re sure you’ve got the technique right, practice Kegels lying down.

But watch out: if your bladder leaks are caused by a hypertonic pelvic floor where the muscles are too tight, Kegels can actually make bladder leaks worse.

Find Your Perfect Product

There are mountains of terrible bladder leak products out there. Plus, even when choosing among the good ones, there is a ton of personal preference. Everyone’s body is a little different and leaks vary from person to person as well. That’s why, at Lily Bird, we’re such big believers in starting with a 10-pad, 10-day trial for only $1.99. You don’t have to buy a large package only to realize that it isn’t the right thing. 

When you’re testing out bladder leak products, you’ll want to make sure that they fit well and are comfortable — and that they are “just right” in terms of absorbency. Too little absorbency and the leaks may leak. Too much and you’re wearing and paying for more than you need. 

To find your perfect product, we recommend testing out a new product 5 to 10 times in different situations and on different days because every day is a little different.

Ready to tell your bladder who’s boss? Get pads and underwear for leaky laughs and dribble dilemmas delivered straight to your door from Lily Bird. Try 10 products today for $1.99.

Sydney Larson is passionate about solving real problems for real women and about de-stigmatizing women’s midlife health issues. She founded Lily Bird — a subscription service for midlife women for products we don’t want to buy in the store — to do just that! Her favorite part of the job is hearing from happy customers. When she’s not working, Sydney enjoys baking sourdough bread, hiking with her dog, and skiing with her husband.