While there’s undoubtedly been a major cultural shift in the collective perception of mental health and treatment for psychiatric disorders, finding a therapist that you click with—whether you’re looking for cognitive behavioral therapy or emotion-focused therapy still isn’t exactly a seamless or judgment-proof process. As the growing effort to remove the stigma that’s shadowed the discourse surrounding mental and psychological health for ages continues to widen, teletherapy (therapy sessions conducted via phone calls, video conferences, and chat) has become increasingly available and desirable, thanks in part to more convenience and flexibility with appointments, along with the current social distancing measures in place due to the pandemic.

Aside from that, many patients simply feel more comfortable and relaxed during sessions when they’re in the comfort of their own home rather than a potentially intimidating clinical setting. As a side note, even if you don’t have a mental health diagnosis under your belt, we have our ups and downs, and frankly, it’s just nice to have an outsider’s prescriptive—yes, your friends and family are not only trained professionals, but they can also be (lovingly) biased.

Even when you’ve finally taken the plunge and decided to give therapy a shot, finding the right therapist or mental health care provider can be a struggle—whether you’re looking for in-person or virtual care. Often times, it’s a grueling process of trial and error, and the first one or two candidates don’t quite feel like the best fit. This process can be pretty discouraging, and can often leave those in need exhausted (because no one wants to re-hash their life story again and again to new people before meeting “the one”) resulting in giving up in therapy altogether. In fact, it’s kind of like using dating apps—you give your new date the same “best version of yourself” shpeal as if you’re on a job interview, only to discover the chemistry is off, or you get ghosted and have to move onto the next match.

Fortunately, just like dating apps (and first-time dates held over a Zoom call), most online therapy platforms make choosing the right therapist for you, your lifestyle and concerns pretty easy by asking you a series of questions and taking intel on your personal preferences (i.e. which gender you prefer and what type of symptoms or experiences you’re looking to work on). Sure, it’s not a foolproof process, but you are able to choose between a few recommended professionals that meet your criteria. In my experience, there is absolutely nothing more isolating than suffering from a mental health episode and feeling as though you’re alone in the harrowing journey to simply feel like yourself again — let alone feel happy.

While medication is often a necessary part of treatment, talk therapy has really helped me identify common thought patterns (for me, they’re anxiety-fueled cognitive distortions) which has helped me become more self-aware and able to distinguish when it’s my anxiety (I like to think of “her” a separate entity rather than an imbalance of mood-modulating neurotransmitters in my brain) talking versus my logical mind. Of course, one common critique of telemental health is that the therapeutic benefits will be lesser than face-to-face sessions. While this will vary for each person, some studies have indicated that virtual therapy can be just as effective as in-person care.

Finally, although it sucks to say it, therapy can be downright expensive—especially if you don’t have insurance or government health care assistance. Ahead, we’ve outlined some online therapy resources for a variety of different budgets to help you get the care you need (and 100 percent deserve) without having to step foot in a daunting medical office.

Our mission at STYLECASTER is to bring style to the people, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale and the retailer may receive certain auditable data for accounting purposes.

Courtesy of Talkspace.

Talkspace

Talkspace gives you access to thousands of licensed and background-checked professionals without having to leave the comfort of your own home. Depending on which medium you choose to use for your sessions (video, cat. call, etc) will dictate the pricing, but it starts at just $69 per month (prices vary depending on the service you select) if you want to give it a risk-free shot. The one advantage I found with TalkSpace is that I could vent via chat whether it was early morning or late night when a situation arose, rather than having to wait around to see my therapist at our set appointments on Friday. The ability to just type out the situation that had occurred and how I felt about it immediately (although you can’t expect an immediate response at midnight) was also helpful in and of itself.

Amwell.

Amwell

Regardless of whether you’re dealing with symptoms related to hormones (i.e. postpartum depression) or a lifelong battle with Bipolar disorder, Amwell is here to help. They have a huge network of licensed and experienced professionals trained to deal with not only hormonal-based “phases,” but also OCD, life transitions, PTSD, chronic insomnia, and even couple’s therapy.

Pride.

Pride Counseling

Specializing in specific LGBTQ+ concerns, Pride Counseling gives you access to trained doctors, therapists, and psychiatrists to talk to remotely. Whether you’re struggling with the idea of coming out to your family or simply having relationship issues, Pride Counselling offers a forum of non-judgemental professionals to help you get through, and learn better coping mechanisms and communication skills along the way.

With your children gone, who are you now? So many women believe their identity is firmly wrapped around being a mother. I, too, am a woman of a certain age – proud to say I am fabulously 56! I’ve been married for almost 32 years, and my adult children have flown the coop… so now what?

With the children grown up and living on their own, who are you now? Who are you as a partner and lover?

In these times of great change in our family structure, we may feel lonely, alone, unoccupied, unloved, or losing value as a person. But WAIT! The children have moved out of the house, not your heart and mind.

It is a slippery slope when you lose all self-worth and purpose because your role in life becomes different. So, what can you do?

Write a List of “What Nows?”

• “What Now” would you like to address in the next 3 months?
• What do you need to do these 3-month “What Nows”?
• “What Now” would you like to do in the next 6 months?
• What do you need to accomplish these 6-month “What Nows”?

Armed with this list, you can start to shape your future into something concrete. Go for it! And remember, it is a list, not a law – you can always alter it!

Reclaim Your Space

Many of us still keep our children’s bedrooms as such for years after they have moved away. But why? Why do we keep shrines to adult children who live elsewhere? Have you thought about putting that space to better use for you and your partner, if they haven’t also flown the coop, now that it is unoccupied?

It is perfectly okay to use a smaller room/space to create a bedroom for visiting children. That will make them feel welcome without bringing concern that you are living in the past. Give yourself permission to take ownership of your entire home.

Have a “I Want to Know You, Now” Conversation with Your Partner and Then Get to Know Them, Again!

Ask questions and listen. These can include things like:

• How do you feel about the kid(s) being out of the house?
• Are we still working as a couple?
• How can we strengthen our connection?
• What would be a perfect day for us?
• What do you need in this partnership to feel safe and secure?

Take Care of Your Physical and Mental Well-Being

Consider the following questions:

• Have you had all the appropriate physical checkups?
• Do you take care of yourself as well as you took care of your children?
• Are you doing things that bring you joy?
• Have you nurtured your friendships? Sometimes they are the longest lasting relationships that we have but are often neglected.
• Are you giving your all to your career or has it lost its excitement?
• Would you benefit from a mental check-up from a professional?

Put in the Work Rebuilding a Nest

I think that is enough to start with, right? When my last child left the nest, I went through this process myself. I never realized, nor understood, how deeply entangled my personal identity was with my children. While I enjoyed them living at home, I thought it was sacrilege to enjoy them living elsewhere.

However, what I realized after doing some work on my other relationships was that I could have a totally different bond with my children that was based on mature interests and activities. Our relationship has matured and deepened in the last few years because I now interact with them as my adult children, not my children, an important distinction.

Everyone Goes Through This

Friends have also weighed in on having an empty nest. Lisa signed on for travel with her husband – as much as they could manage and afford after their two adult children moved out.

“We did many vacations with kids when they were at home living with us, usually domestic travel, but even that is hard when you have a teen boy and teen girl and need to book a motel/hotel. (…) It became much simpler and cheaper when it was just the two of us. We paid for their college and then we traveled as much as we wanted, without them, and opened a new phase of our lives. Our travels allowed us to grow together in a new way without the kids. We then could come home and talk travels with the kids and others.”

Another couple took advantage of the “freedom” by digging into their work lives. Lis, a college educator, shared, “I accepted the position of chair of the department. I didn’t feel the need to be home after school. I was able to go to meetings and not stress about what time I got home. We also didn’t worry about being home and making sure there was dinner on the table, which meant that we were free to meet in town for dinner.”

The other benefit of putting in the work to investigate how to refill the nest, was rebuilding our intimate relationship. This connection has been especially fulfilling. With a renewed interest to enjoy each other, my husband and I have found new, thrilling things about the mature us.

If all else fails, get a pet to fulfill your nurturing spirit! Let’s talk about it and good luck empty nesting!

When did your last child leave the house? For how long did you keep your children’s rooms intact? When did you decide it was time to move on and rebuild the nest? How did you go about that? What are the results? Please share your wisdom with the community!

Now that you have decided to start your little business selling your products, it is time to address how you are going to set up your marketing plan. Up till now, you have been doing your hobby for fun and perhaps selling a few items/services here and there.

You are getting lots of good feedback from those enjoying your hobby product – kudos! But what now?

Hopefully, you have read the previous article in this mini-series, which included a grocery list of steps you should take before investing in raw materials. Your work is 1/4 done as 3/4 of what you will be doing is marketing your wares. Where to start and what to do may be giving you the jitters.

Research, research and research. I spend at least an hour a day researching. I check other sales sites, prices, marketing ideas and what is trendy. Check out groups, blogs and other websites. This is free to do and the information you will glean will help you develop a successful business.

Offline Marketing

Here is a list of things for you to do depending on what best suits your product.

Selling to Local Stores

If you decide to sell to local stores, remember that they have to at least double the price which may cut deeply into your profit.

Start Networking

Join suitable groups or chamber of commerce where you can tout your product.

Help from Friends

Have a small party of friends to showcase your products and listen to advice.

Visual Media

Create flyers to distribute in your apartment complex or neighborhood.

Try Swap Meets and Craft Shows

Most towns hold craft shows or swap meets. If your town is an exception, you can always travel to a larger city to test the water. Some of these craft shows can be expensive, though, so keep that in mind.

Remember, you usually have to bring your own setup including tables and drop cloths. Make your display appealing and charming. Have one product that is very inexpensive to draw people. Always have a giveaway drawing to gather names to follow up.

Local Businesses

Drop off brochures to local businesses who could benefit from your product.

This is just a sample of things you can do. But the ideas are limitless. Use your creativity and talent to find the best niche for your product.

Online Marketing

Those of you with the ability to navigate around the Internet are way ahead of the game. I am going to share what I have learned which is just a beginning.

Shopping Sites

Etsy, Zazzle and Shopify are just a few of the sites where you can offer your creative products. There are no free sites, but many cost very little and take a small profit from the sale. I use Etsy which is very well run and easy to navigate.

I actually set up my own store with no help. You pay per image you add, and they take a small percentage out when selling an item. But the good news is that they do all the work for the sale. You just have to produce the product and ship.

There are also groups you can join which are very helpful in marketing and sales.

Website

Set up a website or blog where you can show and sell your product.

Social Network Sites

Facebook, Twitter, Google + are just a few and being active on these sites helps you to interact with others and share what you do.

Special Interest Groups

You will find many groups you can join with people who have a similar business to yours. These groups can be great for interaction and support and sometimes a sale here and there.

Pinterest

Pinterest is not a social network but actually a search engine. Once known for its recipes and ideas for home/space decorations, it now supports many businesses.

Landing Pages and Sales Funnels

Two terms I’d like to share, but am not experienced with, are landing pages and sales funnels. These are popular words online, so I thought I’d mention them for you to explore.

Feeling overwhelmed yet? I, personally, feel overwhelmed each day. If you have allocated a budget for marketing, I would recommend spending some of this money online.

I hired someone to set up my Pinterest account, and it is starting to see a lot of activity. You can also purchase boosts and ads on Facebook and Twitter to get the word out.

Please note: I shared a few ideas here because marketing is the determining factor of the success of your business. Set up a budget for marketing no matter how small. And yes, it is a lot of work, and you have to be ready for that.

Have you considered turning a hobby into a business? What steps have you taken to market your product or service? Do you have advice you’d like to share? Please join the conversation below.

Here’s the thing about fitness information: It changes constantly. New research, trends, and fads steer us in directions we believe will be The Answer to whatever fitness problem ails us.

Belly fat? Use the Belly Blaster 2000!

Jiggly thighs? Do leg lifts for four hours a day!

Underarm wiggle? Try Wiggle Away!

One day we’re squeezing the life out of our ThighMaster, the next day we’re kickin’ it to Tae Bo. Now we wear tech that inspires us to walk around the bed 100 times before going to sleep just to rack up those 10,000 steps.

It’s easier to buy bigger clothes and forget the whole thing versus trying to decipher all the claims we stumble upon daily. How do you know what and who to believe? Where to turn?

It would be nice to have one neat little answer presented to us in a pretty box with a nice bow on top (one of those fancy, drapery-type cloth ones, not the cheap drugstore versions).

If only.

So let’s wade through the noise, shall we?

Here are a few solid, research-proven facts from the book Strength Training Past 50 by Wayne Westcott and Thomas R. Baechle:

Muscle Loss

We naturally lose 5 to 10 lbs. of muscle per decade after 50. 80% of women and men over 50 have too little muscle and too much fat. (Yikes!)

Muscle Helps Metabolism

Muscle keeps our metabolism stoked because it burns many more calories at rest. Without strength training you can expect a 3% drop in metabolism per decade, which adds up to an average of 15 lb. weight gain per decade or more. Sound familiar?

It’s Reversible!

Here’s the good news: You can reverse this loss of muscle with even a small amount of strength training. If you are currently weight training, pat yourself on the back (not too hard though, or you risk tearing a rotator cuff).

If not, fear not! You can start today on the road to a better metabolism, stronger muscles and overall better life. For reals.

With this in mind, here are my top rules to get started and achieve the best results from any strength training program, based on the mistakes I see most often.

Use the Right Amount of Resistance

If you’re striving for muscle ‘tone,’ you need to build muscle. Don’t worry though, you’re not going to look like a WWE wrestler. No wrestler ever got massive biceps from curling 5-lb. dumbbells, I assure you.

Here’s the thing: You can’t tone fat, which leaves you with… muscle!

So, you need to work the muscle to a point where it has a reason to change. You do this by challenging it beyond it’s normal everyday exertion.

For example, as you read these words, pick up a pen, pencil, whatever you have around you, and start doing biceps curls with it. Keep going for the next five minutes.

Sounds ridiculous, right?

That’s essentially the same thing you’re doing when you use too light weight. You can go on forever and will never see results. You’ll eventually tire out from muscle fatigue – it may even ‘burn’ from lactic acid buildup, but that muscle will not be stimulated enough to wake up and shape up.

The bottom line is, you have to pick a weight that enables you to do 12 to 15 repetitions, where the last three of them are tough. If you can jump right into another set, it’s not heavy enough.

Note: When you first start doing resistance training you’ll notice your strength increases quickly in the beginning, but that will eventually level off.

Work Every Muscle, Not Just Your Favorites

As much as we’d all love to have flat abs, doing crunches without watching your diet and without exercising every other muscle won’t do it. You need a total body workout, not just abs and triceps, for example.

Be sure to include exercises for legs, glutes, core, chest, back, biceps, triceps and shoulders. Ignoring any muscle group sets you up for imbalances and possible injury.

Use a Full Range of Motion

Learn the proper way to do an exercise and be sure to use a full range of motion. That ensures you’re working the length of the entire muscle. It’s different if you need to modify a move due to an injury, arthritis or a doctor’s recommendation, of course.

Use Your Core in Every Exercise

All movements start from the core. Your core includes everything that connects your upper body to your lower body. Needless to say, it’s pretty important. Whether you’re doing an arm exercise, leg or shoulder move, first engage your core.

This does not mean ‘sucking in’ your stomach. Instead, imagine someone about bracing your ab muscles as if you’re about to try and bounce a coin off of them.

Another way to focus on the core is by trying to draw your bellybutton in towards your spine, but without holding your breath in the process.

Keeping these muscles engaged not only works your core throughout your workout, but it also protects your spine. It’s really a win-win.

Big to Small Rule

Start with big muscle groups and work your way down to smaller ones. This isn’t a hard and fast rule if you’re just starting out, but it gets more important as you get stronger.

Smaller muscles support the bigger ones. For instance, if you tire out your triceps, you may need to lower the resistance when doing your chest exercises since your triceps stabilize and support the main chest muscles.

Ditto for biceps and back muscles; they work together.

Aim for two to three workouts a week, on non-consecutive days, one set of each exercise to start and work up to two to three sets when time allows.

Do you do strength training? What do you use – tubing, dumbbells, kettlebells, machines or your own body weight? Please share your routine below!

I see a lot of ads offering things like a ‘14-day weight loss challenge’ or ‘21-day health restart’ this time of year. Do you?

Many people will sign up for them. I have done them myself in years past. I have also created and offered them in my health coaching business before. I even considered offering one this year because they are so appealing. But then I remembered – they don’t work.

A “restart” or “jumpstart” sounds so beneficial and inspiring. It seems like the answer to our problems. We think, “I can do anything for 14 days,” or, “This will get me started.”

While those thoughts may be true, the reality is that these short-term programs rarely lead to long-term change. These programs share the same problem as setting goals – the “finish line,” the built-in stopping point to the new actions.

What Can We Do for Weight Loss or Other Health Improvements?

I think one of the most valuable things you can do is to learn how to create a successful plan for yourself. Having no plan at all doesn’t usually work, you probably don’t need an explanation or convincing of that. You may be living without any kind of plan right now. How is that going?

Flexibility Is Key

Creating too strict a plan usually ends up not working any better than no plan at all. ‘Challenge’ types of programs are often way more restrictive than how someone would be willing to live their daily life. There has to be a certain amount of flexibility in any plan before it can become a lifestyle.

Only you know how flexible or strict your plan should be to make sure you will adhere to it. I love to see my clients be successful with a very flexible plan that is in some way improving their health. You can always tighten up or add to your plan at a gradual pace to ensure that you will always be willing to do it.

Your Rally Cry!

When we start these ‘restarts’ or ‘challenges’ we are excited and want to shout, “Let’s go, let’s do this hard thing!” as we embark. This excited, fired up motivation, burns hot but soon flames out. It is hard to sustain that kind of enthusiasm for very long.

I think our rally cry should be more like, “Okay, I can do this. It is totally doable.” It may not seem as thrilling, but it is much more useful for your long-term motivation.

Sustainability

Over the years, I have had so many clients ask me, “Should I do the ____ (popular at the moment) diet plan?” Some of the plans are healthy and beneficial but my answer was always, and still is, “Don’t do anything that you are not willing to do for the rest of your life.”

What is the point: lose some weight, stop doing the plan, and gain it back again? This is such a waste of your time and energy, and not great for your body OR mind.

“Keep It Between the Navigational Beacons, Between the Buoys”

I think I am quoting a Jimmy Buffet song here, but I like it. Besides making sure that your plan has enough flexibility to be sustainable, it also needs some guidelines, some buoys to keep you on course. These guidelines can include things like food or drink limits.

An example could be maximum number of alcoholic drinks or desserts in a week. The beacons could be minimum baselines for your activity. Like establishing a minimum number of times or minutes per week of exercise. You could set a minimum number of times you cook at home per week, or maximum number of meals you get out.

Remember to make your guidelines doable. This is not a challenge or a diet or a program. This is how you plan to live your life.

Don’t Forget Compassion and Patience for Yourself

Remember that even though you have set up a flexible, doable plan, you probably won’t be perfect, especially at first. Don’t immediately ditch the plan or change it. Give it a little time before you decide if it is doable for you or not.

You may have done a short-term program that led to permanent changes in the past. If so, yay! The majority of people that I have worked with find that sooner or later they have to establish a sustainable lifestyle plan that works for them. Creating the right plan for you can take a little trial and error, but it is worth it because it creates permanent change.

If you want some help developing your flexible, sustainable plan for health, you can get my planning worksheet here.

Have you done any short-term weight loss challenges? How was your experience? What did you gain or learn from doing them? Will you do a challenge again? Please share with our community!