A long time ago, marriages commonly occurred when two people grew up together in a small town and got to know each other over time.

Of course, in many cultures, match-makers had (and still have) the responsibility of seeing that “suitable” marriages were arranged. The families of the bride and groom were the decision-makers.

Then came the 1970s, and publications like the Singles Register appeared in newspaper racks. They enabled people to post, and respond to, ads for potential relationships. Remember the song, “Escape” (The Pina Colada Song)? It captured, in a humorous way, one man’s venture into personal ads, and a surprise outcome.

Of the hundreds of online dating sites available, there are a number of more prominent ones specifically targeting the over-50 demographic. The strategies are the same as for those featuring younger singles. You post your profile and picture and pay your quarterly or yearly fee. There are some completely free sites. You wait for responses, weed out the “crazies”— and wait for happiness.

DatingSitesReviews.com stated, “5% of Americans who are in a marriage or committed relationship say they met their partner online.” So, depending upon your goal, the odds can be pretty daunting.

While you are waiting for “the right person,” you can either feel like your life’s on hold, or be pro-active about your happiness. Here are some ideas for how to rethink online dating.

Dating Over 60? Take Stock of Who You Are

I’ve often told people who are “between relationships” to sit down with a piece of paper, and draft a short, simple biography. What are your short and long-term goals? What are your core values? Are they shaped by your upbringing, culture, any religious or spiritual influences? Are there conscious choices about things like career, living arrangement, or political views for example?

After you’ve made this self-assessment, make a pro-con list of being single versus being in a relationship of any kind. This is a very personal process. It can be based on some of the things you come up with in drafting your biography. There’s no right or wrong answers, except for the ones that are true for you.

Then, make a list of your expectations of a potential date or mate. The list can take the form of “acceptable” traits or habits, followed by “unacceptable” traits and “negotiable” traits.

For example, you may decide that smoking is unacceptable, but that social drinking is acceptable. Or you may prefer being with someone of a certain minimum level of education. Then take a look at this third list, and consider what makes your ranking important to you.

Don’t Limit Your Socializing While Trying Dating Over 60

Sometimes people see the ads for major dating sites and latch onto the “success stories” as certain predictors of what’s in store for them. Because of that, they will forego opportunities to be with real-life friends. They may stop participating in activities that might actually lead to “the one.”

Maintaining real-time, off-line connections with coworkers, neighbors and friends is important. You can pursue hobbies or attend community events. You can try volunteer opportunities or visit houses of worship. These connections remind you that you are a whole person, independent of your relationship status.

The Only Outcome of a Dating Scenario You Can Predict Is Your Response

When you hear of “dating nightmares,” it’s usually the result of going on a date with too many dreamy hopes and not enough clear reality. People are only as truthful as they want to be when posting an online profile.

So, pay attention to the site’s “safe dating” tips. Also listen to your gut reactions or any “red flags” you notice about a potential date. If someone comes on too strong or too fast, be cautious. If, after several promising evenings, your new friend suddenly vanishes (it’s also called “ghosting dating”) – be kind to yourself. Consider this a reflection on that person’s character, not your own worth.

There is no guarantee, unfortunately, that someone posting an intriguing profile feels any kind of responsibility for being truthful or kind.

There is a lot to be said for the convenience of online dating, given the pace of our modern lives. And yet, let’s not totally forget about the possibilities of human social interaction. After years of being in the online dating scene, I have decided to take my life and activities into my own hands. I often allow my accounts to lapse at their expiration date, as stated in my blog post entitled “More Changes.”

Do you have experience with online dating over 60? If so, how has it compared with any efforts to meet and date people through real-life encounters, or introductions through other people? Please join the conversation below.

We’re used to seeing Tiffany Haddish change up her hair, going from a sleek bob to a flirty ponytail. This new look is a bit different but just as gorgeous. Haddish shaved her head on Instagram in an almost-27 minute video. She took scissors and went right for her faux-locs. Her friend and hairstylist Precious is in the background having a bit of anxiety but Haddish has no concerns. “They’re acting like this shit isn’t going to grow back,” she says. She notes that she’s been talking about shaving her head for years but everyone has been “blocking it.” Not anymore.

Hairstylist Lacy Redway commented on her support for Haddish, saying “You finally did it!…Hair doesn’t define us and you know we got the wigs on deck if we choose to.” As an actress, that’s of course something Haddish is thinking about as she tells Precious she’s wearing a wig in an upcoming move. So, don’t worry! Once the locs are out, she says: “I look beautiful. I am beautiful.”

Source: Instagram

Haddish comes back online to make another video to respond to critics whose comments she saw or she knows she’s about to see. “Why, when a woman decides, ‘Hey I’m going to cut this hair off because I want to see my scalp,” she got to have a mental problem. Nothing is wrong with my brain,” she says. “I’ve literally been talking about this for years. I want to see my scalp. I know every part of my body, where every single mole is.”

Source: Instagram

Precious helped Haddish clean up her hair with clippers, cutting it close to the scalp. The actress would look good with literally any hairstyle but there’s something especially gorgeous about a shaved head on her. “Just imagine how much time I’m going to save!” she says.

Source: Instagram

Watch all three videos in their entirety to laugh, feel inspired and wish Haddish was your BFF.

When you think of a perm, it’s possible you’re imaging those ’80s curls that use a formula that smells so strong, it lingers for days. Well, the “boy perms” trend on TikTok is nothing like that, I assure you. Curly perms as becoming seriously popular on guys and they’re taking to TikTok to document the entire process. It’s refreshing to see men give their hair a lot of attention and the results are really good. Seriously.

As Allure reports, the TikTok’s hashtag for #perm is full of men getting a trendy bend in their hair. Some guys are opting for a wave and others are going for ringlets. Guys with naturally straight hair are mostly curling their strands at home with perm kits and the help of friends or their family, though a few are hitting the salon. (But I’m not seeing enough face masks!) There are also more than a few curly-haired guys poking fun at the trend, too. You can’t blame them but I hope they’re taking advantage of this time to shine. It really is true: everyone wants what they don’t have.

If you’re a little nervous watching at first, I don’t blame you. It doesn’t seem like this will go well. But each bowl cut gets magically turned into Timothée Chalamet curls that girls (and people of all genders) are sure to swoon over.

Sit back, relax and watch these guys get their glow up.

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Leah McSweeney’s Tan Puff Sleeve Button Sweater in The Berkshires

Real Housewives of New York Season 12 Episode 13 Fashion

According to the previews for this week’s episode of The Real Housewives of New York Leah McSweeney appears to be picking up where Tinsley Mortimer left off on the puff sleeve sweater front with this super cute, tan gold-buttoned number. Which is unfortunately sold out, however no worries because we’ve included some Style Stealers down below that we have a feeling you’ll still totally go berserkshires for.

Fashionably,

Faryn

Zara Sweater Sold Out

Originally posted at: Leah McSweeney’s Tan Puff Sleeve Button Sweater

Dorit Kemsley’s Black Belted Blazer + Leather Pants at Sutton’s Trunk Show

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Season 10 Episode 9 Fashion

Dorit Kemsley looked like sexy business catwoman in her black belted blazer and leather pants. Business that isn’t really saving the day, but more attempting to save the night from drama. Unfortunately she didn’t succeed because Denise Richards’ and her ‘big dog’ got away yet again. I do have to give her an A for effort and for an amazing outfit because she really was bellissama. 

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

Click Here To Shop Her 1017 ALYX 9SM Black Blazer

Click Here To See Her Sold Out 1017 ALYX 9SM Black Leather Pants

Photo Credit: @suttonstracke

Originally posted at: Dorit Kemsley’s Black Belted Blazer + Leather Pants