As you try to maintain the collective sanity during this maybe-last-first phase of the coronavirus, you can be sure the pandemic is wearing on everyone.

Though at first the pandemic looked impossible to endure, you have endured. You’ve self-quarantined, isolated, hibernated, bloviated, and generally imploded a few times. It’s only natural. No need to pile blame on yourself or others.

Coronavirus is yet another outside pathogen that invaded the human species. We’ve had the bubonic plague three times, SARS, MERS, Legionnaire Disease, H1N1 (swine flu), yellow fever, HIV/AIDS, the flu pandemic of 1918 (Spanish Flu), Asian Flu, and quite a few Cholera pandemics.

Several of the black plagues (Bubonic) wiped out over half of the earth’s population. Most were truly catastrophic.

In modern times, especially with expert medical progress, it is preferable to create a mindset of self-reflection while you move through the unfamiliar path of self-quarantine. There will come a time when the veil of seclusion is partially lifted, and there will be light at the end of the tunnel.

As you have probably guessed, however, it will be impossible to go back to what was normal before coronavirus became a new word added to your vocabulary.

Other Mindsets

Besides self-reflection, what other mindsets can we add to our awareness arsenal? What other ways can we utilize emotionally and mentally to mitigate our shock and awe at what has transpired during the last seven or eight weeks? What other tools are available for self-preservation?

Sometimes a writer discovers a phrase or an article that inspires a provocative topic for discussion, either for writing or for conversation. I recently read a quote by Karen Blixen, also known as Isak Dinesen, the Danish writer most notable for her novel Our of Africa.

She described three important essentials for living a life of consequence: courage, love, and humor.

Courage

Courage is a word with many implications. The standard definition is to have strength in the face of pain or grief. Another way of parsing courage is the ability to face fear, either your own personal fear, or the fear of the unknown. Courage requires a strong mind, emotional stability, moral turpitude, and spiritual enlightenment.

It is your awareness that allows you to stand in awe and terror of the coronavirus pandemic with all its facets and implications.

It is not easy to bear witness to the dying, to the heroes on the ground who put themselves in harm’s way; to see the essential and non-essential people provide care, comfort, and consolation to those who are sick and alone. From awareness to spirit, from spirit to a strong mind, from a strong mind to a test of your character.

You bear witness every day to the events that change lives and to the tragedies that take place in front of your eyes. Even though you are not physically present, your presence in a collective sense adds value to the courageous fight to lessen the circumstances of the pandemic.

Love

When someone speaks of love, the go-to reference is usually romantic love. However, love encompasses a range of strong and positive emotional and mental states, from the most sublime virtue or good habit, to the deepest interpersonal affection, and to the simplest pleasure.

Within the context of the pandemic you are living with, love is a spiritual mindset, the universal concept of personal ties or devotion to mankind in all its iterations. This kind of love arises from benevolence, inspiring kindness for everything that is human.

I hurt when you hurt. I feel pain when you feel pain. This is what binds mankind together. It is caused by a cosmic affection for what makes us human, warts and all.

We know that humans are not perfect, so we forgive the other for causing pain and suffering. And we praise and are devoted to the idea that, although humans are imperfect, when they are called upon to go beyond their capabilities, they become heroes. Their deeds become mythological.

Admiration is also a form of love. It is a universal emotion, arising out of an unconscious spiritual connection. You witness the devotion of those who are fighting the virus, and it makes you proud and gives you an emotional connection to those who fight to keep you safe.

Humor

Humor is the capacity to perceive or express that something is funny or amusing. Humor is also a mood or a state of mind that creates a lightness of being by juxtaposing the dark side of a situation to a lighter side of the circumstance.

Humans cannot live without humor; cannot live without laughter, or a smile, or a twinkle in the eyes. Humor gives you emotional balance, good health, and fortifies you against the unfathomable and unknowable.

Faced with the ongoing pandemic, a virus that attacks without discrimination makes you defenseless against so much sorrow – except for your ability to recognize humor, remember a smile, a funny antic, an amusing story.

Understanding that humor is the essential ingredient for acknowledging the existence of both sorrow and joy is the key to a happy life.

Your sanity and safety rests with conscious attention to maintaining your courage in the face of adversity, your love for mankind and its goodness, and the inclusion of humor to balance your mind, body, and spirit.

Your capacity for developing different mindset – courage, love, and humor – will gracefully guide you through the next phases of the pandemic.

What was your mindset at the beginning of the pandemic? Is your mindset the same today? What changed? If nothing, what can you do to exercise courage, love, and humor in spite of the current situation? Let’s have a discussion!

Dayna Kathan’s Metallic Mini Dress

Season 8 Episode 20 Vanderpump Rules Fashion

Dayna Kathan’s metallic mini dress caught my eye in her IG photo and as I looked at it I realized that I had actually seen it befor, but could not think of where. Then BBH’s Lauren reminded me that Denise Richards’ also wears it during her confessionals on this season of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, which is funny because I know I have looked for it before when I originally saw it on her, but had no such luck. However must have been my lucky day (mainly because Lauren gave me a hint) and the dress was found. It’s always nice when you get lucky every so often, isn’t it? Especially if you’re Dayna and it comes without having two men boys constantly arguing over you.

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

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Photo Credit: @dadadayns

Originally posted at: Dayna Kathan’s Metallic Mini Dress

Katie Maloney’s Red Cutout Jumpsuit

Vanderpump Rules Season 8 Finale Fashion

Katie Maloney was a lady in red at the TomTom first anniversary part on last night’s Vanderpump Rules season 8 finale. Her red lips complimented her red jumpsuit, and I loved the crystal strap detail on the piece which totally leveled it up. I won’t lie, the boob situation on this particular piece may be hard for many. But if you can survive a night at TomTom with this crew like Katie did, you’re ready to face just about any challenge life brings you, even if it’s with your wardrobe.

The Realest Housewife,

Big Blonde Hair

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Originally posted at: Katie Maloney’s Red Cutout Jumpsuit

I would guess that most people who know me see me as a cheerful older woman, with a good life and little to complain about. All this is true. Yet, at the same time, I can feel myself turning into a Grumpy Old Woman.

There are several things that I find increasingly annoying. Unfortunately, I can’t write about all of them, so here are just a few.

Mobiles

There you are, quietly walking down the street, when someone walks into you because their head is in their phone.

Or you see them coming and you stop, completely still. They look up and say “Oh, sorry,” as if they couldn’t see that walking along blindly is bound to cause someone trouble at some point.

Backpacks

And, while on the subject of public places, I get very irritated by thoughtless people with backpacks. They are especially annoying in tight spaces, such as a bus or train, when they turn around and the pack crashes into you.

I have long thought that backpackers should be required to pass a driving test on managing body space. It might help them learn that their dimensions are extended hugely by their packs.

Going to a Movie

It used to be a joy to go to a movie – you would have the odd advertisement or trailer, and then sit back and enjoy the film. Not any more.

There is the couple across the aisle who insist on unwrapping their sweets (candies) one by one throughout the course of the film. Do they not realise that doing this slowly is no quieter, but just prolongs the agony? Perhaps that has always been a problem, but I am becoming less tolerant.

But what is new at these scene are the people who must check their phone. Even if they don’t talk, the light is incredibly distracting. I do think people should be able to forget their phone for the brief duration of a film.

And everyone seems to need to eat. Some cinemas even offer full course meals to their patrons, which might be nice for the hungry person but pays no thought to the person sitting next to them.

Selfies

The very word ‘selfie’ denotes the modern generation. In our day, we never had to show that we were there, wherever ‘there’ was.

The worst is in picture galleries, where the rooms are full of people with their phones and, where allowed, phone sticks. They don’t seem remotely interested in the paintings themselves, but only in showing the world that they have seen them.

Perhaps there should be fake galleries, intended just for them, so the rest of us could enjoy paintings in peace.

Airports

Everyone seems to love to travel and to talk about the marvellous places they have visited. But they never tell you about the airport. Is it just me or are airports getting worse?

I can manage the discomfort of airplanes themselves, although there is little to recommend the time you spend strapped into a small seat.

But what gets me down is the stress of getting to the airport in time, with the underlying threat that if you aren’t there two hours in advance, they won’t let you on the plane.

The worst is the airport itself. You’re stuck there for ages, surrounded by multitudes of people. Hardly anywhere to sit down, but shops and more shops everywhere. I don’t like shopping at the best of times, and I certainly do not want to do so in an airport when I have enough to carry as it is.

And then there is the ladies room. Toilets still function as normal, but modern sinks are becoming a kind of intelligence test.

How do you obtain simple running water? Some new-fangled taps have parts to push up or down or sideways – but which? Or they have electronic gizmos that don’t seem to recognise my hands. Do the architects of such contraptions think we automatically know how they work?

Grumpy and Grouchy

Yes, I am becoming a grumpy old woman. I don’t know whether I am more annoyed by other people or by the increasing presence of modern technology. All I know is that sometimes all my good cheer gets taken away.

Are you becoming a grumpy older woman? Do you recognise the things that annoy me? What additional things annoy you? Let’s discuss them in the comments below.