In past blogs I’ve
written about the recognizable pattern to behavior change including five stages:

• Pre-contemplation (I’m not even thinking about changing a behavior),
• Contemplation (I probably should change this behavior),
• Preparation (I’m gathering information about making the change),
• Action (I’m taking steps to change), and
• Maintenance (I’ve changed the behavior for the better).

Two of these stages
of change – contemplation and preparation –
largely feed the multi-billion-dollar infomercial industry hawking nutritional
supplements, fitness equipment, and miracle instant-life-enhancers as people dance
between the two stages but find themselves unable to move into sustained
action.

Plans and Positive Health Habits

Why is it so
persistently difficult to move into action and maintenance when trying to
change a behavior or adopt a new
healthy habit – even when we have the desire?

I’ve talked about
changing attitudes and expectations around aging and wellness, and about
creating a vitality
plan and making regular vitality deposits. But I think there is something
else working under the surface to derail positive change.

Goals vs “Shoulds”

Perhaps when we
have a goal in mind – get stronger, lose 15 pounds, get more organized, clear
out clutter – it often becomes a chore on our long list of “should.” My friend
Chris often says, “Stop “shoulding” all over yourself.”It always brings a laugh, but it also merits some thought.

When a goal sits in
the should category, there’s very
little chance that you’ll feel committed to the steps necessary to accomplish
that goal. In fact, it’s more likely that it becomes demoralizing rather than
motivating.

For example, many
women are in a perpetual state of “I should lose 15 pounds.” Have you ever
heard the phrase“You wouldn’t weigh
as much if you got off your own back”? Another one of Chris’s favorite sayings!

I’m not advocating
for giving up on self-improvement, but when self-improvement is so continuously
difficult to accomplish that it mocks you at every turn, then perhaps it’s time
to step back and look at your persistent list of shoulds.

Free-Writing for Insights

Consider writing
each should at the top of a page – a
separate page for each one! Then write down why this item is on your list. Don’t
spend too much time crafting the reasons but instead just free-write words and
phrases that relate to why this item is on your list.

Next, free-write
why you think it’s been so difficult to accomplish this particular goal. When
you make attempts to achieve this goal, how long does the effort usually last? What
has stopped you in the past? What stops you from just erasing it from your
“list” altogether?

Again, don’t try to
make it pretty or lyrical, just write words and phrases that reveal motivations
for this goal and barriers to making it happen.

Now consider how
you would feel and free-write about:

• what would change in your life if you accomplished
  this goal,
• what would change in your life if you didn’t
  accomplish this goal, and
• what would change in your life if you simply erased
  it from your list completely.

This process can
help you identify what things on your persistent self-improvement list are
actually goals that you want to pursue and which ones simply landed there by
default as a should.

A Deliberate Shift

Consider whittling down
your list to things that truly matter. Look at your free-writing for clues and
pay close attention to how you feel about a particular goal and about specific actions
that would take you towards that goal.

Does it feel like a
chore? Do the actions feel forced? Change is often uncomfortable and certainly
more difficult than just staying the same, but is there a way to bring joy to
the process?

Without a sense of
joy and opportunities for fun somewhere along the path, goals can stall
permanently. Perhaps you can engage a friend to work together towards a goal or
turn it into a game with children or grandchildren.

Take time to celebrate
the things you love about yourself right now –
today –so you can start any type of change from
a position of strength. Plan for joy and fun as you take small steps towards
your goals. Life is far too short, and joy far too important, to squander on shoulds.

Visit the Ignite Personal Vitality and the Articles & Resources tabs at www.kayvannorman.com to download free
articles and other resources to support positive lifestyle changes.

What’s on your persistent self-improvement
list? Are there any shoulds on the
list? If so, why are they there, and should they stay or go? I would love to
hear your thoughts, so please join the conversation!

While
many of us crave for the secret sauce that will cause us to lose weight and
have more energy, one item is often overlooked, and it is the simplest of all –
pure water.

You may
hear that pomegranate juice, or grapefruit, or most recently, celery juice is
the key to good health, but pure water may be the most enduring solution of
all.

Of
course, water, like any other substance, cannot be the only solution. However,
it is so vital that without it we die far more quickly than we would without
food.

We Are 70% Water

A human can go without food for about three weeks but
would typically only last three
to four days without water. Why?
Because 70% of our tissues, and therefore our bodies, is comprised of water. We
need it.

Here are some simple
numbers:

• blood: 55% water
• heart: 73% water
• kidney: 79% water
• brain: 73% water
• bones: 31% water
• muscle: 79% water

Water for Health and Beauty

You
might find the experience of Dr.
Batmanghelidj interesting. He was a political prisoner in
India and found many inmates suffered from a variety of untreated illnesses,
including ulcers, headache, malnutrition, etc.

He
theorized that water would play a role in their recovery, and since it was all
he had to work with, he administered balanced amounts of water to them daily. He
documented his findings in a recording called “The Body’s Many Cries for
Water.”

Another
example of water’s importance falls into the beauty spectrum. Renowned makeup
artist Bobby Brown uses water as her go-to solution for models who look
fatigued or have circles under the eyes. She finds an immediate improvement in
their appearance.

How Much Water Is Enough?

Are you
wondering what the best amount of water might be for you? My recommendation, if
you have no issues with your electrolyte balance, would be to take your body
weight, divide it in half, and drink that many ounces of water each day.

Note
that water is contained in leafy green vegetables, fruits, soups, and teas, so
your consumption does not have to be water exclusively.

If you
feel that this amount of water seems high, increase slowly. Many women fear
they will be making multiple bathroom trips if they drink this much, but as you
build up your intake, much of it will be absorbed by your body’s systems. Only
a portion of it will go to your bladder.

Consider the Benefits

We’ve
all heard of the fountain of youth. Well, the fountain of youth is right there
in your water glass. It brightens your face, flushes out toxins, and provides
all your internal systems with much needed hydration.

And
here’s a hidden bonus for good water drinkers: it’s a perfect tool for weight
loss. A glass of water when you think you want a snack will curb the desire; a
glass of water before a meal will lessen your appetite. All this while also
providing your body systems with the hydration they need.

When I
work with clients who enroll in my Six Weeks to Diet Freedom program,
one of the first things I recommend is keeping an inventory of your daily water
intake. Some are shocked by how little they drink and through the six weeks
slowly build up their intake.

It
makes an amazing difference not only in how you feel, but in the ease of
curbing appetite that leads to weight loss. If you work at a computer, keep a
glass of water beside you for a pick-me-up when you feel fatigued.

How much water do you drink on an average day? Have
you noticed a burst of energy after a big glass of water? Share your experience
and join the conversation.

Tinsley Mortimer’s White Floral Blouse at Lunch With Dale

Real Housewives of New York Season 12 Episode 6 Fashion

Between the pretty floral print, button-detail shoulder and tie cuff sleeves, Tinsley Mortimer’s white floral blouse that she wore to lunch with mama Dale (who also seriously brought her fash-un A game with a cute blue leopard dress) totally epitomizes that super feminine, southern style of hers that we know and love. And considering we only found one of it left in stock, well you should probably hurry on down below right this second before one of us Dale scoops it up first.

Fashionably,

Faryn

Click Here to Shop Her Equipment Blouse on eBay in S

Click Here to Shop Her Gucci Bag For Less

Click Here for Info on Her Earrings

Click Here to Shop Dale’s A.L.C. Dress on Sale

Originally posted at: Tinsley Mortimer’s White Floral Blouse