We all have guilty pleasures. But do you want to know which one is
my favorite?

I love watching House
Hunters on HGTV! There’s nothing better to do on a lazy Sunday morning.

So, coffee in hand (or let’s be honest… a homemade mimosa), I curl
up on my couch watching TV, shouting at it, telling the clueless couple to go
with House #2 because they can just repaint the damn walls instead of making
the horrible decision of going with House #1.

But lately, I’ve noticed something happen to me after watching.

Instead of feeling relaxed from enjoying a silly show, and being
grateful for not having to work, I started to feel a little resentful. I
started to think, “Wait, why can’t I have the opportunity to buy a big fancy
house? Why am I here instead, in this small apartment?”

And that resentment got me thinking about something that many of
us do as we recover from divorce. It’s a nasty habit that keeps us from being happy and able to love this new chapter in
our life. So, this week, let’s take a look at that slip-up and learn how to
overcome it.

The Big Obstacle: We Focus on What We Lack

When we’re learning how to get our lives back, resentment an easy
trap to fall into. Once we start feeling bad about where we are, instead of
being happy with it, we forget all the awesome stuff. And the roadblock only
gets worse, because then we start telling ourselves things like these:

“I’m too old to be single. I should have a partner right now.”

“I should still be happily married right now.”

“I should be as successful as the family and friends I have on
social media.”

This way of thinking is dangerous as we move on because it relies
on some external force to dictate how our lives should be. Only we have the
power and control to do that.

We Compare Ourselves to Others

Ever heard of the Facebook and Instagram effect? 

You know what I’m talking about. The one where the old high-school
classmate has uploaded a picture of her million-dollar beach house and puts
#blessed in the caption.

Or the one where a distant relative has posted a picture of their
feet in the sand by the beach with a tropical drink in hand and writes “so
lucky in my life” or some crap like that.

We have all been guilty of thinking we need other things in our life in
order to live the way we want.

We forget just how much good we have in our own lives.

I like to think of this as the Psychology of Abundance. When we
are going through divorce, or recovering from it and trying to figure out the
rest of our lives, we forget that we actually have the world at our fingertips,
and that we have a huge load of new things going for us.

Sure, your life and stability have changed.

Sure, your financial situation may seem shaky and you may be
worried about supporting yourself.

Sure, your identity may be in existential crisis and you may be
lost, not knowing who you are now or what you want as you start the next
chapter of your life.

Nobody’s denying the shake-up. But guess what riches that shake-up
represents? 

The fact that you are still alive.

That you are here.

That you are given a second chance at life.

Do you have any idea how rich those gifts are?

I remember the time when I was going through my own divorce. I was
floored and stressed and reeling from all the things I thought I’d lost—a
comfortable financial situation, a partner in life, a future I thought I knew.

One day, as I was mourning my losses instead of focusing on the
abundance of things I actually had (my health, a decent job, my dogs, good
friends, and a supportive family), I got a kick in the butt.

I was flipping through an old literature book from my college
days, and a quotation popped out. It was written a world away and a lifetime
ago, but it was like it was written just for me.

“If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself,
tell yourself that you are not poet enough to call forth its riches; for to the
creator there is no poverty and no poor indifferent place.”

—Ranier Maria Wilke

That last part woke me up – for the creator there is no poor indifferent place.

Once we start celebrating what we have and not bemoaning what we
do not, we become free. Our stress levels decrease. Our anxiety goes away.
Feelings of jealousy and bitterness start to disappear. And we become grateful,
recognizing each new day as the gift that it is.

So, want to begin thriving with what you already have and not what
you wish you possessed?

Step #1: Consider Your Lack

The next time you feel bad because you think you’re lacking
something, stop and explicitly state what you feel it is. Example:

Ugh… I don’t have enough money for a down payment on a nice condo!

Step #2: Consider the Implications of Obtaining the Item in Question

After pinpointing your perceived lack of something, reverse that
way of thinking. Explicitly state why your lack of what you have is actually a
good thing at this time.

Wait… that nice condo is going to have some super-high HOA fees!
Geez… that actually means I will have to pay even more money a month than what
I pay now – money I
currently put in savings. Maybe a fancy condo isn’t such a good thing for me at
this time. 

Step #3: Consider What You Do Have

Acknowledge something you actually have for which you are
grateful.

Well, I don’t have a fancy condo, but I do have a delightfully
cozy and affordable apartment that is super-easy to clean and helps me stay
within my budget – two things
that many people do not have. Dang. I guess I am pretty thankful for that.

Make a habit of acknowledging those things you have. Do it often.
Heck, write it in your gratitude journal if you have one.

The more you divert your way of thinking from the things you lack to
the things that you have, you will find that the previous feelings of jealousy, resentment, and bitterness toward
others for what they have start to decrease, and may even just disappear.

When done regularly, you then start to notice all the great things
going on in your life. And once you notice them, little by little you will find
yourself grateful for them until you realize just how rich you really are and
how abundant your life really is.

Because you have enough. And you’re doing great with what you
have.

But you can still watch House Hunters if you want.

How
often do you find yourself wanting something that you don’t really need? What
do you do in such situations? Does resentment creep up and try to grab a hold
of you? How do you deal with it? Please share in the comments below.

Caroline Stanbury’s Black Knot Cutout Dress on Instastories

Caroline Stanbury Instagram Fashion 2020

Caroline Stanbury’s black knot cutout dress that she showed off recently on Instastories (which is apparently reversible) is in our opinion the perfect LBD for making a stylish re-entrance into society if things in your area are starting to open up. However if you’re not ready to fully leave quarantine life behind, no worries because it thankfully also comes in a tie dye version that’s perfect for venturing out (or staying home and taking mirror selfies) in this summer.

Fashionably,

Faryn

Click Here to Shop Her LNA Dress

Click Here For Additional Stock on Sale

Click Here to Shop it in Pink Tie Dye on Sale

Photo & Info: @CarolineStanbury

Originally posted at: Caroline Stanbury’s Black Knot Cutout Dress

Although government guidelines are starting to ease, social distancing is still very much in place and many of us are still spending much more time at home than we usually would.

Most of us have dreamt about one day having space and time to be able to learn a new skill. Maybe you’ve always wanted to develop your gardening skills or learn to draw.

Well, now could be the perfect time to dig out your paints, get creative in the kitchen, or learn your Rhododendrons from your Chrysanthemums!

Learning a new skill is a great way to keep your mind busy, work on your personal or professional development, and have some fun.

With that said, here are five skills that you can develop at home during the lockdown and beyond.

Learn to Bake

Baking can be a great way to explore your creativity and relieve stress – not forgetting that you’ll get a tasty treat at the end of it! Since the lockdown began, experienced bakers have been taking to social media to share their baking tips and recipes and help people across the nation find joy in the kitchen.

Classes run by Bread Ahead Bakery in Borough Market, London, usually sell out fast. But you can now join in with free live baking classes over on their Instagram page. They’ll show you how to create mouthwatering bakes such as brownies, bagels, and shortbread.

If a live class isn’t for you, then you could consider taking an online course. For example, if you’re keen to develop your bread making skills – so you can make more complex loaves like sourdough – try Udemy’s selection of artisan bread making courses that will show you how to do this.

Learn How to Cut Your Own Hair

With hairdressers still closed under government guidelines, by now you might be in need of a good trim. While it’s not usually recommended that you try to cut your own hair (or the hair of someone in your household!), if you’re feeling brave and can’t wait until hair salons reopen, then you could develop some of your own hairdressing skills at home.

The most important thing to remember when you’re learning to cut hair is to take your time. It’s not something to be rushed or done in bad lighting when you’re tired at the end of the day.

YouTube has a number of easy to follow tutorials that can help you learn to trim your tresses at home. At Rest Less we selected some of the best ones and added advice from hair stylist and tutor Glenda Cresswell. Be sure to take in as much information as you can before you give it a go yourself!

Learn to Paint or Draw

Both drawing and painting take a great deal of time and concentration – especially when you’re learning the basics.

A few months ago, you may have been too busy rushing around to even consider sitting down with a paintbrush and blank canvas. But lockdown has given many of us more time to engage with mindful activities.

If you’re interested in learning how to paint, then consider heading over to WowArt’s YouTube channel where you can take part in fun daily painting challenges.

These are quick and cheerful, will help you to build your confidence with painting, and give you a chance to practice and develop your skills.

To work on your drawing skills, you could enroll in Drawspace’s ‘Get started with drawing’ course. It’s completely free and will show you how to prepare for your drawing journey, develop your technique and build a portfolio of drawings that you can feel proud of.

Learn Some Gardening Skills

When we’re stuck at home, nature can help to keep us sane. Research has shown that being close to nature can help us feel happier and more connected to life. For this reason, there’s never been a better time to hone your green skills – whether you have a garden or not.

If you don’t have a garden, or your outdoor space is very small (e.g., you have a balcony, patio, etc.), then you’ll still have plenty of opportunity to grow your skill set!

Vertical Veg’s website offers tips and tricks on how to grow plants in containers in small spaces.

If you’re looking to develop your outdoor garden skills, then you could consider taking an online gardening diploma, which is CPD certified.

Alternatively, the Royal Horticultural Society website is packed with free information and advice on how to grow and maintain houseplants and gardens year-round.

Learn a New Language

Learning a language can increase your cultural awareness, advance your career, and make travelling much more interesting and enjoyable. The learning process itself can also be a lot of fun and is great for boosting your memory and keeping your brain sharp.

One of the many reasons that people are put off of learning a new language is because there’s so much to learn, that sometimes the task can seem overwhelming. If this sounds familiar, then it’s worth downloading the Duolingo app.

Duolingo is a fun and free interactive way to learn language skills in small manageable chunks. An independent study carried out by the University of South Carolina and the City University of New York showed that 34 hours of Duolingo (on average) is equivalent to a full semester of language education!

Or, if you’d prefer to learn in a more structured and in-depth way, then you could consider taking an online language course. You can work at your own pace, in your own time and will usually receive a certificate upon successful completion.

Are you learning any new skills during lockdown? If so, how are you learning them? Please share the ones that brought you most fun and were worth the time.