“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” — Maya Angelou

Do you ever
wonder how you’ve made it this far with everything life’s thrown at you and continues
to toss your way?

You might credit
your staying power to luck or to chance. You might thank divine intervention.
Maybe all of the above. 

Regardless of why, you’re still
standing. Take a moment to celebrate that. Because by the time we’re 60, we
bear the scars of countless situations that have tested our resolve. Through them
all, we remain resilient.

Bouncing back
might be innate, something we carry in our DNA that’s linked to our survival
instinct. I’ve known many young people with unshakeable steadfastness that they
surely must have brought with them into this world. Bouncing back is also
a decision, something we set our minds to despite the odds.

Resilience is a
muscle we develop over the course of our lives and strengthen every time a
soul-searing circumstance gives us an opportunity to use it. I was
certainly made stronger by three simple lessons that continue to inform me
today.

Just Let It Go

Remember the meme
that circulated a while back of a butterfly tied to a boulder, trying to drag
it around? The caption said Note to self:
let stuff go. (That’s the G-rated version, but you get the idea.)

This lesson took
me years to embrace. I used to have a hot button for needing to be right,
especially when I was convinced the other person was wrong.

I’d rewind events
or conversations in my mind on a loop, playing alternate endings and
changing the dialogue to what it “should” have been. Surprise… that
didn’t change anything except how soundly I slept at night. Such a waste of
energy and time.

Letting go still
takes practice. Fortunately, each new day brings another chance to accept
rather than resist those things we can’t influence or control. The baggage
of what used to be or what should have been were just stories I told myself. Releasing
their heaviness lightens your life.

You Can’t Lose
What You Never Had

Even though it
often feels otherwise, you really can’t lose what you never had. In my youth,
this lesson played out in all the jobs, relationships, or opportunities that I
almost had or that almost happened. The ones that got away. How I’d mourn
those losses! 

Except that was a
myth. Those people or situations weren’t mine to lose because, for various
reasons, they weren’t really mine to start with. I wasn’t grieving things that
slipped out of my grasp but rather those things I’d never been promised in the
first place. I made myself miserable over “almosts.”

That bitter pill
has become easier to swallow with the passing years. Mourning what
might have been and resisting the need to let go are cousins, and they’re no
match for my resilience these days.

Trust Yourself

Bouncing back
from anything is easier when we believe that all will be well or that all
is happening for the right reasons. It’s impossible to develop elasticity if we
can’t develop trust.

Sometimes we
trust a higher power. Knowing the universe has your back is
a comfort in troubling circumstances.

Sometimes we
trust in another person. Asking for help or sharing our burden with someone
else plays a big part in strengthening our resilience. It’s only in recent
years that I’ve become comfortable doing that.

Self-trust is
essential, too. Often, as a young person, I fell in line behind someone else’s
plans for me rather than listen to my own inner guidance system. So, sometimes I
needlessly learned my lessons the hard way.

Self-trust is
partly a feeling of no longer caring what others think, a feeling that takes
root in this stage of life. Self-trust is also a certainty and an awareness
that develop over time.

By the time we’re
50 or 60, we know ourselves better than anyone else knows us. We’re self-aware
and understand what we truly need. And we trust ourselves to make our own
best decisions.

We’ve also learned
that no decision ruins us. Given enough time, support, and trust we usually
rebound from our mistakes with new wisdom. That’s resilience.

Helen Keller’s
words are inspiring: “Although the
world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.”

Whatever lessons
or practices have helped us come this far, we’re still here. And we’re stronger
for all we’ve been through, flexing our resilience muscles along the way.

What life lessons taught you about your
resilience and your ability to bounce back? Let’s have a conversation!

“I want to wear red, but it scares me to stand out!”

I’ve been designing clothing for women
– specifically in plus sizes – for decades. And this common refrain about
wearing red is something I’ve heard time and time again.

As you get older and your personal
style begins to change, you may find that you’re less ambitious when it comes
to fashion. You want to look your best – beautiful, elegant, sexy – but perhaps
in a more subdued way.

That isn’t the case for everyone. If
you’re a bold and gorgeous woman over 50 who wants to show off vivacious colors
in your wardrobe, more power to you!

So instead of shying away from adding
red to your outfits, learn to make this beautiful color work for you. It can
enhance your personal style – whether that’s strong and bold or delicate and
subtle.

Go Bold with a Crimson Red Tunic

A strong red color – like crimson –
pairs great with basic black. Keep everything else about your outfit simple and
let one piece in a powerful red tone do all the talking.

A great way to do that is with a crimson red tunic. A subtle print over the deep red will add a softer touch to the outfit without cutting down on the bold color.

Pair your standout red piece with
subtle jewelry for an outfit that looks great anywhere. Dress up your tunic
with fine metal jewelry. Or keep it fun and casual with chunky accessories that
either match the red of your tunic or complement the black in your outfit.

Going bold with red is not always easy
for plus size women who have been made to feel like they should disappear
behind their outfits. No way! If you adore this color, show it off! You’ll love
the confidence boost you get from looking your best in beautiful, bold red.

Step Up a Simple Outfit with Red Accessories

Not ready to make a bold red color the
centerpiece of your outfit? No problem. You can keep your outfit simple – in
neutral colors – but step up the interest with red accessories.

If you’re keeping it casual, chunky
red jewelry is the way to go. You can choose a simple beaded design with
matching earrings, necklace, and bracelets.

To add some more visual appeal, look
for creative geometric designs. Or mix and match the shapes and sizes of your
necklaces and bracelets. A little variety – plus a beautiful shade of red –
will take your outfit from simple to stunning.

Keep It Subtle with a Softer Red

Crimson red is not your only option.
There are lots of beautiful shades of red that are subtler, but no less
flattering or appealing. If going bold is not your preference, choose a more
delicate red to enhance your wardrobe.

One nice way to achieve this look is with a dressy burgundy cardigan. It can be worn over a black top and bottom to create an interesting color combination that doesn’t leap out like more attention-getting hues.

Look for an item that mixes a variety
of shades of red and perhaps a simple pattern to keep the color understated but
still impressive.

Burgundy is an excellent choice for formal wear. But there are many other subtle, soft reds that work in both dressy and casual outfits. Try a pastel red with white neutrals for a fresh vibe. Or tea rose red that’s light while still offering a beautiful red tone.

Adding more red to your outfits is a
great way to mix up your style and introduce a gorgeous color palette. But
don’t feel pressured to go too bold or too subtle. Use these tips to create a
look that’s perfect for you – with a combination of colors that complements
your personal look.

Which shade of red is your favorite?
How do you wear it? Has anyone tried to hint at you not to include it in your
wardrobe? Does red make you feel bold and beautiful? Please share your thoughts
below.

With the outbreak of Coronavirus, you might be
worried about your travel plans. This article’s intention is to offer some
insight to assist you with the decisions you may need to make and the choices
that you have available as well as travel insurance considerations.

Are You Insured to Cancel Your Trip?

You’re unlikely to be insured for cancelation
due to something as trivial as worry unless you have purchased a policy that
allows you to cancel for any reason (CFAR).

If your policy includes CFAR, know that you
will still only be able to claim a percentage of your costs – the coverage will
be stated within your policy documentation.

Most policies exclude coverage or cancelation
for epidemics or pandemics, but they may cover non-medical evacuation should
governmental organizations call for it. To find out exactly what you are and
are not covered for, you need to read the fine print in your policy.

Your operator, airline, or hotel, rather than
your insurance company, may offer some alternatives to destinations or may
allow you to re-schedule, but there may be a cost for you to do this. At the
moment, in the case of those China-centric bookings, you may find a more
flexible attitude.

Travel operators don’t want to lose money, so
they are more likely to alter the itinerary under current health guidelines and
ensure that adequate health precautions and controls are being undertaken.

If the itinerary is changed to avoid effected
areas and complies with guidelines, then, in their eyes, there is no reason to
cancel.

Neither operators nor insurance companies will
offer you financial recompense because you no longer want to travel. This policy
sounds harsh if you are fearful, but if operators started to offer refunds
because travelers changed their minds, they wouldn’t be in business for long.

Should You Travel?

If you’re left with the choice of traveling or
losing your money, you might feel uncomfortable, but I would advise you to take
some time and find out the real risks.

A new virus is a great story and one that the
media love. Sensational quarantine stories and charting the spread of the virus
all make great headlines, but it’s only the facts that are going to allow you
to make an informed decision.

The WHO (World Health Organization), the CDC
(Centre for Disease Control), and your government’s travel bulletin are the
sources you should seek to get clear, factual, up-to-date advice.

Apart from travel to China, no travel
restrictions have been advised, and it’s important to remember that this virus
is less deadly than the flu. It’s newsworthy because it’s new.

Therefore, common sense and normal hygiene
protocols apply: wash your hands, avoid touching your face, and cough or sneeze
into your elbow to avoid contaminating your hands.

Travel Planning

If you are at the stage of planning your next
trip, then it’s evident that travel to China is not advisable. If you’re considering
a tour or cruise that includes China, you’ll notice that operators have already
made changes; find out what these are before discounting it as an option.

As for travel to other parts of Asia, gateways
are being strictly monitored and current travel advice is not precluding
travel. Precautions are in place to restrict the spread of the virus, but
ultimately, the choice is yours. If you choose to book, carefully consider your
insurance options.

If you’re feeling fearful at this stage, then
it might be best that you choose another destination. With the spread of any
new virus, it will hit a peak before it plateaus and infection rates drop.

We are not at that stage yet, so unless you can
afford to lose money in the event you no longer want to travel, then another
vacation option might be less worrisome for you.

Why Bother with Travel Insurance?

Holiday insurance is as vital to your holiday as
reading the small print is to getting the coverage you want and need.

While you are unlikely to be covered for
wanting to cancel your trip because you are worried, you are very likely to be
covered for trip interruption, if quarantine causes a missed connection, or if
the situation requires evacuation.

And holiday insurance goes beyond what your
domestic health policy, Medicare, or credit card will allow, plus it covers
more than health.

In a similar vein, operators often offer their
insurance policies, and while they may cover you for postponement costs, they
won’t cover you comprehensively for health and other issues.

It’s important not to rely on feeling healthy
either. Yes, you might be vital, but sprightly individuals can still have
accidents, be victims of theft, lose their luggage, or be unfortunate enough to
be caught up in other unforeseen events.

Only specific holiday insurance covers the full
gambit. Simply put, it’s important to understand the limitations of the policy
that you are buying and to ensure that you buy a product that covers the
elements that you require.

Yes, it’s a cost, but it’s part of the cost of
going on holiday – like the transfer to your hotel –
and not a cost that’s supplemental to your holiday – like using a limo instead
of a bus!

I invite you to book a 30-Minute Complimentary Exotic
Travel Planning Session. If you are not ready to start planning, you
can still get your free Guide to Money Saving
Travel Tips.

What policy do you buy when you’re planning a
vacation? Have you had to deal with an epidemic while abroad? Would you cancel
a trip because of a disease outbreak? Please share your thoughts with the
community.

Should I let my hair go gray? We all face that tough decision sooner or later. We can let nature take control all along, or when gray first appears, we can punt and color our hair “for the time being.”

By age 60, it’s no longer the time being. I find that women our
age talk a lot about whether it’s time to stop coloring and find out what we
really look like.

We might find out that our hair is a soft and beautiful white. Or
it could be a shiny silver. Maybe it’s not even completely gray yet. But it’s
likely to just be either dull or white.

A Brighter Gray

Since I write for the hair industry, I asked for guidance from a
couple of hairdressers who love their clientele in this age range.

Frank Shortino, a Wella artist and owner of Shortino Salon and Spa
in York, Pennsylvania, says his “gray reduction” is a popular color service for
women who want to cover up the years without exactly covering the gray. This is
much less time-consuming and costly than keeping up with full gray coverage.

“I just put a little gold into the hair,” Frank tells me. He says
the warm tones light up not only the hair but also the face. “It’s like putting
a pinch of salt into your food,” he explains. “This is just a pinch of color in
the hair.”

Recapture Your Rich Color

Despite any vision of plucking out gray one strand at a time,
going gray typically begins as a gradual loss of vibrance. If you’re a
brunette, for example, one day you might look in the mirror and realize that
the brown is more taupe.

Youth’s vivid color fades, which you notice if you have long hair
because you can contrast the top with the ends that grew out of your head perhaps
years earlier. With short hair, you may not pick up on this evolution.

Often, highlights are the first solution for women who just want
their hair to look the same as it used to look. Highlights add brightness and
disguise what’s going on up there.

But highlights do not restore brilliance. As the fading deepens,
the next step tends to be single-process color. You choose a shade that’s as
close as you can get to the color your hair was before it began losing its
luster. Photos from your earlier adulthood can help with this.

Once you get used to a maintenance schedule for single-process
color, your stylist may circle back to highlights – not instead of the color but on top of it to give your hair
dimension and get closer to natural-looking hair color, which is never exactly
the same color.

In the photos of Frank Shortino’s client shown below, the
difference from “before” to “after” is the vibrance. The shade is similar but
bolder and more youthful, aided by golden highlights. The cut further helps by
bringing out the wave, which builds additional dimension and movement.

Similar to Frank’s client is the chestnut look below designed by
Maria Mello, owner of Hair Ninja Salon in Brandenton, Florida. Caramel strokes
like these are a popular addition to many shades, acting as lowlights for
blondes and highlights for brunettes and reds.

For Maria’s client with longer blonde hair, a soft rose color
defines the accents. Highlights in rose, violet or blue are opening up more
choices for women of all ages.

Ready for Fashion Color Extravaganza?

Some of Maria’s clients really want to stand out, so she fills
that request by going full-speed with fashion color. Maria says she’s become
known in her area for these dramatic cherry, purple, magenta, and rainbow
looks.

“I always joke that it’s a great transformation and cheaper than a
sports car or plastic surgery,” Maria says. “I admire these women so much. One
told me that she’s done everything to please other people her whole life, and
now it was time to do something that makes her happy.”

Hair makeovers have Maria smiling, too.

“I love my job and especially this clientele, because I get to see
a woman’s face light up when we’re finished,” Maria says. “She finally sees
what I saw when she walked in the door – that she’s
beautiful.”

What color
did your hair turn with age? What are you doing about it? What hair color do
you enjoy most? Please share with our community!

Photo
credits: Images courtesy of Shortino Salon and Spa and Hair Ninja Salon.