The
word “retirement” is taking on a completely different meaning in the 21^st
Century from what it meant in our parents’ day. Back then, retirement referred
to the day you stopped work, and life thereafter looked pretty much like going
on holiday till you grew old and frail.

As
we enter what is called the Third Chapter (for me it is certainly NOT the final
chapter; I am saving that till I am old and frail), we Boomers are
finding that we still have plenty of energy, and imposing a cessation of work
feels like trying to stop our lives mid-stream.

A Road Map Concept

I
recently discovered Steven Covey’s book, 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,
and it was the first chapter that resonated with me.

He
talks about paradigms as road maps. For example, the road map we were given by
our parents for retirement is one where you stop working, take on a life of
leisure, and finally grow old and frail, and then die.

As
50% of Boomers are expected to live to 100, which is 30–40 years after the
conventional age of retirement, this road map isn’t going to cut it for us,
because we are going to get very bored and run out of money. Therefore, we need
to change the map – or as Covey says, “shift the paradigm.”

Our
new map for retirement should include work in some form, though not necessarily
in the traditional sense. As I see it, we are going to continue “working,” but
in a different manner.

We
may work for income or we may work for recognition or simply a philanthropic
sense of contribution, but we will spend part of our weeks in structured
activity.

Shifting Our Work Mindset

This
will require 3 shifts in our way of thinking about work:

How We Define Work

As
we were working our way up the corporate ladder, we tended to look for the best
job with the best income and then tailor our lifestyle to our earning capacity.
In retirement, it tends to work the other way around.

We
calculate the income required to sustain our lifestyle, and then we mould the
job to suit these criteria. We also need to include a category where we do NOT
work for monetary reward. Many retirees find volunteerism liberating and
invigorating, if they can afford it.

How We Calculate the
Income Needed

In
my retirement coaching practice, I help
people understand that they are no longer working to save money for retirement.

Most
people have a retirement income of some form – either a pension, a state grant,
or interest from investments – so you need to calculate the shortfall between
what retirement income you can expect, and your monthly budget. This is what
you will need to earn.

For
example, John can expect $1,500 per month in retirement income. He is currently
spending $2,000 per month to maintain the lifestyle to which he is accustomed. He
would also like to add in an annual holiday costing $1,000.

John’s
shortfall of $500 per month totals to $6,000 per year. Adding in the holiday,
the sum grows to a total of $7,000 per year, or $585 (rounded) per month.

How We Choose to Work

If,
for example, John wants to work as a life coach in retirement, charging $50 per
session, he needs to find a minimum of six clients who he sees fortnightly, in
order to cover his expenses.

He
can choose to meet with three clients per week all on the same day or he can
choose to scatter the appointments. To simplify the example, I have not
factored in the extra expenses he would incur to run the business.

The Part Time Switch

When
I first retired, the big “a-ha” came when I realised I no longer needed to work
full time for a salary. Covey talks about the “a-ha” moment as being that
moment when the paradigm shift occurs.

As
a retiree, you can tailor your work to bring the income needed to supplement your
retirement income, so that you can sustain your standard of living.

What do you seek in retirement? Leasure time or something else? Has
your mindset shifted yet? How did that change occur? What did you learn in the
process? Let’s have a conversation!

The beginning of the year is a ripe
time to take stock of behaviors we want to change in our life. These days, many
people are using their phones to a level that arguably rises to unhealthy.

Smartphones provide so many benefits
until they take over your life and daily activities. Addictive behavior can
impact our health, wellbeing, interactions with family and friends, and basically
be a wormhole.

These six tips can help you reduce
the use and attention you devote to your smartphone.

Put a Stop to Relentless Notifications

Constant dings from your phone are
distracting and help feed the addiction. Manage your notifications under settings,
so you aren’t getting alerts every time someone is posting on Facebook or the
weather changes.

Group chats in text or message apps
can get unruly quickly. I recommend muting the group chat notifications. Catch
up with the gossip or discussions on your timeline, not theirs.

Phone-Free Meals

Put your phone away when you are
eating. Whether you are by yourself or with family and friends, use your
mealtime as a time to disconnect.

No Phones at Bedtime

Many of us check our phones right
before bed and then keep it next to us when we sleep. Study after study
demonstrates that the use of screens at night before sleep time can inhibit
sleep.

Even if you have it on Do Not Disturb,
bedside placement makes it too easy to reach for it before you nod off to sleep
or as soon as you wake up. Get a real alarm clock. Make it a habit of keeping
your phone in another room overnight.

Use the Screen Time Settings on Your iPhone

Apple has put a lot of measures in
place to help you help yourself when it comes to monitoring your screen time.

Within Screen Time, you can schedule
downtime each day or limit the use of certain apps to a specified length of
time every day or varied by day.

Screen Time tracks your daily usage, so
you can see how you are spending your time. This can be eye-opening. It’s an
excellent place to start if you are wondering where you can cut down the use of
your phone.

Put Your Phone Away When You Are Driving… Or Walking

Distracted driving has become a real
issue with the saturation of smartphones in our society. Glancing down for a
couple of seconds can have horrible repercussions.

AND, can we talk about people that
walk down the street staring at their phones? We have all seen crazy videos of
people walking into things because they were oblivious to what was going on
around them. Don’t be that person.

Remove Apps You Aren’t Using

Most of us have suffered from app overload.
Our phone is cluttered with apps we don’t need or use. Take time to do an audit
of the apps using pen and paper. Look at usage statistics. If you can’t
remember the last time you used the app, you don’t need it.

I’m not suggesting you go “cold
turkey” on your phone. Making small adjustments in sensible areas can help
you become a little less dependent on your phone. Who knows, you might even
enjoy having actual eye-contact when dining with someone.

What do you do to help limit your
phone use? Where is your phone at night? Are you having any hand or wrist pain
associated with overuse of your devices? What has worked and what hasn’t?
Please share with our community!

Jennifer Aydin’s Pink Metallic Dress at Her Brother’s Fundraiser

Season 10 Episode 14 Real Housewives of New Jersey Fashion

Jennifer Aydin’s dress at her brother’s fundraiser on last night’s episode of RHONJ is by a brand whose dresses are pretty much a staple in the housewives community, and this metallic pink version may just be one of our faves yet. So while Margaret may have accused Jennifer of not working, we beg to differ because she was totally werking it in this dress which tbh we would rather be doing right now than actually working.

Fashionably,

Faryn

Click Here to See Her Sold Out Zhivago Dress

Originally posted at: Jennifer Aydin’s Pink Metallic Dress

It’s not
just our joints that we need to keep flexible as we get older.

The
trouble is, we find a steady way of doing things that works well for us. In
fact, it’s always worked well for us, and there’s very little incentive to
change. That is, until one day we discover that the world has moved on and we’ve
been left behind!

Here’s a
personal example. I needed to use my mobile phone the other day, and when I
took it out, my companion laughed at it. I realised that my perfectly
serviceable Apple iPhone is now about 10 years old.

Phones
don’t even look like that anymore. So, do I buy a new phone just because mine looks
a bit dated? Or do I save my money and risk being laughed at? I bet the last
person to use a quill pen had the same thoughts about upgrading to a fountain one.

Never Say Never!

Fashion
changes, obviously. And we change too, so what might have suited 20-year-old
you or 30-year-old you might not work for 60-year-old you.

I’ve lived
through miniskirts, hot pants, flares, peasant blouses, shoulder pads, afghan
coats, kitten heels, leggings (twice), hoodies, desert boots, and platform
soles. I think I could still rock the flares – but hot pants? Probably not…

Hemlines
change. Trouser legs change. Heels change. Even the way to carry a handbag
changes. That doesn’t mean we have to follow every whim of the fashion industry
– but it doesn’t mean we have to automatically disregard it either.

We have to
stay open minded and evaluate our choices. I’m a firm believer in never saying
never!

Things Move On

The tech world
changes quicker than anything. What do you use your mobile phone for? Of all
the things you can do with a mobile phone, making an actual phone call isn’t even
in the top 10 anymore.

As for
landlines, only old people give their landline number when asked for contact
information. In 2019 in the UK, 21% of households didn’t have a landline phone
at all.

Fewer and
fewer people wear watches, because their phone has the time on it.

Obviously,
we have no choice but to try and keep up!

Old or New?

When
someone suggests something new, something out of the ordinary, something
different, what’s your default setting?

Do you
immediately think, “Oh, no, that’s not for me,” or do you think, “Oo, that
sounds interesting, let’s give it a go”? Do you actively seek out the latest trends,
or do you enjoy the comfort of the familiar?

What’s
your attitude to food –
how willing are you to try new food combinations? Smashed avocado, dukkah
spice, sriracha? Or do you prefer to stick to what you know?

How about
visiting new places? Maybe you’re happier to vacation at the same place every
year. Maybe you feel safer driving on roads that you’re familiar with. Or maybe
you have a bucket list of places to see and you spend your holidays ticking
them off.

As I’m
newly single, I’m working toward discovering the joy of being able to go where
I want, when I want. Here’s what I got up to on my Road Trip
– some familiar places, some new ones.

And the
same goes for TV programmes, films, music, books, the way we do our make-up, and
a gazillion other things.

How Open-Minded Are You?

One of my
colleagues asked me the other day if I would ever get a tattoo. The honest
answer is probably not – but who knows? It’s perfectly possible.

If I did, I
think it would be a beautiful butterfly on my right shoulder blade. I can’t say
for sure that I would never have one done. In fact, the more I think about it,
the more I think – why not?

Why Not?

That’s not
to say we have to blow with the wind. Some things are not for changing, like
our values and good manners. The important thing is to stay open to the possibilities.

Don’t
automatically say no to something you haven’t tried before. Don’t avoid the new
simply because it’s new. Don’t say no –
say “Why not?”

What
new thing did you try recently that you really liked? Are you up for
experimenting with technology, food, and travel? What tattoo would you get if
you ever decided you wanted one? Please share your thoughts with our community.

Tight hips are a common complaint among post-menopausal women. Hydration, sleep, and stretching are often recommended as helpers in the fight against tight hips.

I
also believe that if we are going to alleviate chronically tight hips, we have
to stop sitting so much and start moving more.

It’s All About Movement

When
you experience muscle tightness, the solution is to work on increasing your mobility.
Scientific advancements have revealed that the sensations we feel are not
direct inputs from our muscles.

Rather,
they are inputs from nervous system sensors on temperature, blood flow,
inflammation, etc. The brain interprets this data and creates a feeling of
tightness, pain, numbness, instability, ease, or something else. 

Oftentimes,
the sensation of tightness has a lot to do with your nervous system putting on
the brakes and not allowing you to perform a certain action because it is an
unfamiliar movement and your nervous system senses you do not have the muscle
control or strength for the move. 

A
good example is hamstring tightness. If a person is unable to touch their hands
to the floor (not a goal I suggest to my clients) in a forward fold because a
tight sensation stops them, they assume that they need to “stretch” to change
the situation.

What
if I told you that your nervous system is accustomed to you sitting much of the
day and knows you do not have the hip or hamstring strength for that move? That
your healthy nervous system might put on the brakes and stop you from going too
far?

But
what if you gained strength in all the ranges of motion that your hips and legs
can naturally accommodate? Would that make your body feel more comfortable with
end range movements like a forward fold? 

I
have seen my clients gain a greater range of motion through strength and
mobility work than years of stretching classes have done for them.

If
you want to experiment with this, try all or a portion of these seven moves
daily and see how you feel in a few weeks.

Also, if you would like an online consultation, contact Sarah for a Zoom video call.

Standing Psoas Release

Put
your right foot on a block. Your heel needs to be solidly on the block so that
you can make sure your weight is more in your heels. Make sure you have support
nearby, like a wall, and use it for stability.

Swing
your free leg forward and back without trying to use your hip flexors to move.
Allow a bit of momentum to keep your leg swinging and your hip flexor on the
swinging leg relaxed. Feel as if the weight of your leg is 100 pounds and it is
being pulled toward the floor as it swings.

Switch
legs.

Standing Hip Glide 

Find
a counter or table that reaches hip height. Hinge at your hips and place
your hands on the table. From the hip hinge position move your hips from right
to left with as little waist cinching as possible.

Move
your hips a little bit to the right without a twist and hopefully you will feel
sensations in your left inner thigh. Keep both legs straight as you do this.
Then move to the other side. Go back and forth slowly. If you think you are
going slow, move even a little bit slower.

Standing Hip Circles

Stand
with your left side to the counter. With your left hand touching the counter
for stability, bring your right knee up to hip height as if you were marching. Externally
rotate the leg bone at the hip so that your knee is now pointing out to the
right.

Now
for the difficult part. Without using your low back muscles, internally rotate
that very same leg, which will swing your lower leg out. With your mind’s eye
at your knee, take that knee behind you as it sweeps back to its home base
parallel to the left knee.

Complete
this circle 3 times and then reverse the direction. Watch this video for an in-depth look at hip circles and how much they
have helped my clients with SI joint or low back pain.

Windshield Wipers Redefined

Sit
on a chair with your heels on the floor and placed wider than your hips. Your
knees are probably out to the side in external rotation. Keeping your heels
where they are, rotate the leg bones internally (your knees will move towards
each other). Continue this internal and external rotation in a lazy fun way.

Shake
that out. Starting back in external rotation again put your hands out the
outside of your knees. Press your hands into your knees and your knees into
your hands.

Feel
that resistance and after lightening up on your hands create the internal
rotation again with a focus on the resistance your hands can create going in
both internal and external rotation. Think of this as a deliberate deep
cleaning for your hip joints while also working your inner and outer thighs.

Leg Lifts

Stand
with your left side to the counter. Your right leg is extended straight in front
of you and the right heel is resting on a block. Hinge at your hips until you
feel sensation in the back of your right leg.

Hold
there and draw your right toes toward your face. Remember to breathe as you
feel the sensations. Repeat 3 or 4 times.

Standing
in neutral now with your weight in your left leg, lift your right heel off the
block while keeping your torso still and your hips steady and neutral. Lift 5
to 7 times. Only lift as high as you can go without your hips, spine or
shoulders shifting. It may be that you barely lift off the block and that is
fine.

Repeat
on the other side.

Squat

Position
your legs wider than your hips with your legs hip distance apart. Take a little
squat with your rear traveling behind you. Look down at your knees and notice
where they are.

Come
back up and this time make sure your hips are travelling behind you and your
knees do not migrate towards each other. If your knees come forward a bit it is
not a big deal, but do not let your knees collapse in.

As
you squat, imagine you have racing stripes on your pant legs and push into the
racing stripes to keep from collapsing in.

We
will take 8 slow squats counting to 4 to go down and counting to 4 to come up. Resist
the down using your glute muscles as brakes. Press through your heels and use
your glute muscles as elevators.

Iliacus Release

Prop
your hips up on a block, bolster, or a few firm pillows. Your feet will be
placed on the ground about hip distance apart. Your pubic bone is higher than
your hip bones and they are both higher than your waist.

Begin
to breathe slowly. Imagine that the whole front of your legs and hips are
relaxing and letting go. The muscles are just sliding down off the bolster
toward your navel. Continue to breathe as you see in your mind’s eye that your
hip flexors are relaxing into your body. Stay here as long as you like.

Everyday Movement

There
is a sweet middle road where we can strengthen and lengthen our muscles to
create more ease in our bodies. Short and tight muscles are essentially weak
muscles. Oftentimes, that weakness is related to the fact that you do not give
your muscles experience in a variety and diversity of positions on a daily
basis. 

The
movements above are a nice routine to add variety and diversity while bringing
an element of strength to your muscles. I always tell people that change needs
to be easy to fit into your routines or the chances of success are low. So,
start small.

Maybe
choose only one of the ideas here and try doing it at the same time every day.
Tack it onto something you already do every day, like making your coffee.

If you would like an online assessment or lesson, contact Sarah for a Zoom video call.

What
is your range of motion at the hips? Do you feel tightness that brings unease
in your movements? What do you do to interrupt your sitting time? Which of the
movements shared above looks like something you’d be able to start doing right
away? Please share with our community.