Author: Admin01

Poem: The Doorway of Quiet

Poem The Doorway of Quiet

When life gets quiet (and quiet it will), 
When noise fades away and the world holds still, 
When chatter goes soft and the rush disappears, 
And you’re left with your thoughts… and your questions… and fears—

Most folks get uneasy. They reach for a sound, 
A screen, or a voice, or some busyness found. 
They fill up the silence, they turn up the noise, 
Distracting themselves with a thousand small toys.

But what if that quiet—that pause in the day— 
Was not something to fear, but a doorway, a way? 
A place you could enter, not run from or fight, 
But sit down beside, and stay for a while?

For quiet’s a space where the truth likes to land, 
Not shouted or forced, but gently and grand. 
It doesn’t arrive with a bang or a shout— 
It slips softly in when the noise has gone out.

You carry your worries, your doubts, and your strain, 
The stories that circle again and again. 
“What should I do?” and “What if I’m wrong?” 
They spin in your mind like a well-practiced song.

But quiet can loosen that tight little knot, 
Not by solving it all—but by giving you thought. 
Not frantic, not fearful, not chasing a fix— 
Just sitting with what is, without any tricks.

You don’t need a method, a rule, or a plan, 
No guru, no system, no “yes, you must can.” 
Just sit for a moment, let thinking grow still, 
And feel what you’re feeling—no push and no will.

At first it feels awkward. Your mind wants to race, 
To jump in with answers, to quicken the pace. 
But stay just a moment, then stay just a bit— 
And something quite subtle begins to unknit.

The noise starts to settle, the urgency slows, 
A space opens up—and something new grows. 
Not answers all perfect, not plans carved in stone, 
But a sense that you’re not in this struggle alone.

For underneath thinking, beneath all the sound, 
Is a quieter knowing that waits to be found. 
It doesn’t push loudly or beg to be heard— 
It speaks in a feeling, more soft than a word.

You’ve known it before, in a moment so slight— 
A sense that things somehow will turn out just right. 
Not because reasons are lined up in rows, 
But because something deeper already knows.

So next time life quiets, don’t rush to escape, 
Don’t fill every silence with noise you create. 
Sit down with the stillness, let everything be— 
And see what arises… quite naturally.

Let’s Reflect:

Do you enjoy quiet times or do you rush to fill up the silence with various sounds? What do the quiet times bring along?

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Ariana Madix’s Crystal Studded Mini Dress on Love Island USA

Ariana Madix’s Crystal Studded Mini Dress on Love Island USA / Love Island Fashion Season 8 Premiere

Sheeeee’s baaaack ….. Tonight marks the Love Island Season 8 premiere and Ariana Madix (and her stylist Emily Men) did not come to play. First up we’ve got a lavender hued crystal studded mini dress with a gathered bodice that’s totally giving villa. Or in the rest of our cases Vegas or girls night out. And this piece is still in stock so you’d better couple up with it ASAP before others catch wind of Ariana wearing it and try to take it for themselves.

 The Realest Housewife,

Big Blonde Hair


Ariana Madix's Silver Crystal Studded Dress on Love Island USA Season 8 Episode 1

Click Here for Additional Stock / Click Here for More

Click Here to Shop It in Brown

Photo: @loveislandusa
 


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Originally posted at: Ariana Madix’s Crystal Studded Mini Dress on Love Island USA

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I Choose Me! Becoming Your Own Best Advocate in the Years After 60

Becoming Your Own Best Advocate in the Years After 60

Being the product
of an abusive father, I grew up a people pleaser. By constantly trying to
please him, I learned to survive. In doing so, for years I kept lying to my
inner self.

We all know we
should never lie to ourselves, but not only do we frequently do so, we also
look for as much evidence to confirm the lies we tell.

Self-Deception

Self-deception
has a lot to do with not having the courage to live our own life. We often live
the life others expect of us, especially when it comes to work.

For instance,
I always felt a bond of purposefulness when working toward common goals and
solving problems with others in my work life. I was certain this was making me
totally fulfilled.

But imagine how deceived I felt when, toward the end of my career, I realized what I was doing was living the life that others expected of me. I had become a product of others’ wants and needs and, although that was fulfilling in a strange and comfortable way, retirement exposed the real me.

Somehow, in the journey from my childhood to retirement I had lost my real identity as a person. Many psychology books say that when you retire you finally have time to stop and look in the mirror, and sometimes the person looking back is no longer the person you knew.

AARP Magazine interviewed Maria Shriver
about finding joy. One of the questions they asked her was which of her many
roles is her favorite.

Maria paused
and then said, “I’m trying to get away from roles. I used to identify myself
strictly in terms of my role, but when your roles fall away, part of you falls
with them.”

That is often
our struggle as our “roles” fall away. How do we develop patterns for new ones?

Owning Your Own Power

Dr. Joseph
Parent asks: “Why is there a need to prove our worth over and over again? Especially
when asking ourselves ‘What is wrong with me?’ makes us feel instantly
defeated.”

Fear of change
is sneaky and keeps us negatively motivated. Owning our own power is where we
should be at this time in our lives; defining it in a different way, or really
in whatever way gives us the most pleasure.

Choosing you has
to do with finding joy in whatever makes you happy. Sometimes it is hard to
accept that handling the change means facing the unknown, the insecurity,
concern, and even excitement of finally being on your own.

We all are
told over and over again to put together a roadmap for our lives. But perhaps,
when we retire, the roadmap we had until that point is no longer relevant to
our new direction, especially when someone else designed the roadmap.

When you have
spent the majority of your life obeying every road sign, is it not time to
challenge the one that says “no trespassing”? Being brave enough to choose the road
less traveled with all its twists and turns, on your own terms, offers detours
that redirect you to unimagined and exciting places.

Choosing You!

I have decided
that I’ve come to a point where I can no longer tolerate in my life people that
drain me. After I retired, it dawned on me that out of the many people I had
surrounded myself with, there were several that I did not like, were very
needy, or had nothing in common with me.

They were in
my life because I had tolerated them, not because I was choosing them. So, why
was I connected to those that did not enrich or make my new life better or more
fulfilling in any way?

By choosing me
I learned that I am a more resourceful person than I thought, in many different
ways. There are things I will do and things I won’t do, and I am now very
specific with myself about boundaries.

My List of 9

  • I am no longer trapped in “yesterday’s solutions.” It is a new world. Look for new solutions that are relevant today.
  • I have become more affirmative about standing my ground. The people pleaser has left the building!
  • I am learning to be happy with myself and love who I am and what I do. Judgement from others about my life and how I live it is no longer allowed.
  • I know I am a serial worrier and I cannot control what is happening all the time. But I have learned that dialing up Domino’s for a pizza and a pint of my favorite caramel pecan ice cream is not a
    way to cope with stress and anxiety.
  • I have learned that dreams have no expiration date!
  • I have learned that not every day will be perfect. “Some days you’re the pigeon and somedays you’re the statue; just live with it!”
  • I have learned that overreacting is pretty much a character flaw. Nothing is ever as good as it seems or as bad as it seems on any given day.
  • I have stopped judging myself so harshly when I find myself off course.
  • I have learned that laughter really does change everything.

W. Somerset
Maugham wrote, “We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we
love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person.”
This is the key, making sure that the changes you make take you to the next
step of happiness you so richly deserve.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

How have you become your best advocate? Are
you on the way to choosing you? Are there things you no longer allow yourself
do because they strip your identity off? Let’s have a conversation in the
comments below.

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Are There Securely Attached People on Dating Apps? (And How Do You Find Them?)

Are There Securely Attached People on Dating Apps (And How Do You Find Them)

If you’ve spent more than 10 minutes on online dating apps, you’ve probably asked yourself: “Are there any emotionally healthy people on here at all?”

Fair question.

Dating apps can feel like a social experiment. One person wants a soulmate. Another wants a confidence boost. Someone else is still emotionally attached to an ex but “seeing what’s out there.” And if you’re a woman over 60 looking for a real, healthy relationship, the whole scene can start to feel discouraging fast.

Yes, there are securely attached people on dating sites. But secure people often behave differently than what many of us have been trained to chase. That’s the part that matters.

About Attachment Styles

Understanding attachment patterns can explain a lot about your dating life. Our early experiences with caregivers shape how we approach emotional intimacy and romantic relationships later on. The three main styles are secure, anxious, and avoidant.

This framework is useful. But I don’t want you diagnosing every person after one awkward first date. Online, everybody’s suddenly an expert. He took four hours to text back? “Avoidant.” She wants reassurance? “Anxious.” He likes hiking? “Narcissist.”

Not so fast. People are far more complicated than internet labels. Still, insecure attachment does show up in online dating in recognizable ways, and apps tend to amplify it.

Not Everyone on Dating Apps Is There for the Same Reason

Some people are genuinely looking for a healthy long-term relationship. Others are there for validation, distraction, or to avoid loneliness. Some don’t even know why they’re there.

That’s how two people can message each other every day with completely different intentions. One is thinking, “Could this become something real?” The other is thinking, “This is a nice distraction between episodes.” Learning to vet for real emotional availability early on can save you months of wasted time and heartbreak.

What Anxious and Avoidant Attachment Look Like on Apps

Anxious attachment often shows up as overthinking every text, needing constant reassurance, and getting emotionally attached before you’ve even met. Because online profiles offer so little real information, anxious daters fill in the blanks with fantasy. A few good messages and suddenly: “Maybe he’s the one.”

A secure relationship is built through consistency and real shared experience over time. Texting chemistry is not the same thing.

Avoidant attachment looks like inconsistent communication, pulling away once emotional closeness develops, and keeping conversations on the surface. Apps work well for avoidant people: endless options, limited vulnerability, just enough connection to avoid real loneliness.

Avoidant tendencies don’t make someone a bad person. But if someone consistently can’t create emotional safety, they may not be capable of the relationship you want right now.

What Securely Attached People Actually Look Like on Apps

Here’s where many women get tripped up. Secure people can seem less exciting at first.

I know. Nobody wants to hear that.

A securely attached person communicates clearly, follows through consistently, asks thoughtful questions, respects your boundaries, and moves at a pace that doesn’t feel chaotic. If you’re used to dramatic relationship dynamics, that can feel unfamiliar. Sometimes even boring.

What you’re feeling is your nervous system missing the familiar activation. Secure people create calm, not confusion. That’s not a red flag. That’s the goal.

If you want a structured way to evaluate real compatibility early, my free webinar walks you through exactly that: 3 Secrets to Finding and Maintaining Healthy Love.

Stop Looking for Perfectly Healed People

A lot of women dating online are searching for some mythical creature: The Fully Healed Human with Zero Trauma and Excellent Communication Skills Who Has Never Been Weird.

Good luck with that.

Most adults over 60 have past relationships, heartbreak, grief, and old wounds. Perfection is off the table. What you’re actually looking for is self-awareness, emotional maturity, and a genuine willingness to grow. You don’t need a perfect partner. You need someone capable of real intimacy.

If you find yourself consistently drawn to people who can’t show up emotionally, that pattern is worth examining. As a dating coach who has helped women over 60 for 20 years, this is the work I see change everything. The profile and the app matter far less than the person showing up to use them. The patterns that keep showing up in dating over 60 almost always trace back to something deeper than bad luck.

The First Step Toward Better Dating

Start by getting clear on your own attachment needs and patterns. Ask yourself:

  • Do I mistake intensity for connection?
  • Do I panic when someone pulls away?
  • Do I ignore red flags because I want love badly?
  • Am I dating from fear or from a real sense of what’s possible?

The healthier you become, the healthier the people you’ll naturally choose. That shift is everything.

Dating apps are not ruining love. They’re exposing people’s existing relationship habits more quickly. When you approach dating with clarity and self-awareness, apps become tools instead of an emotional rollercoaster.

Dating over 60 shouldn’t be a crap shoot. For a lot of the women I work with, it’s the first time they are equipped to approach a relationship with real self-knowledge. That changes everything about who you choose and how you show up.

You deserve a relationship that feels secure, consistent, and genuinely good. And that starts with you.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What’s the weirdest online dating experience that you had? What do you expect from dating apps? Have you worked on your self so you can make better choices?

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Liz McGraw’s Printed Maxi Dress

Liz McGraw’s Printed Maxi Dress / Real Housewives of Rhode Island Season 1 Episode 10 Fashion

Liz McGraw is one of my faves fashion wise because she has a wide array of looks. Like this printed maxi dress she wore on #RHORI last night that was giving and easy breezy relaxed vibe. Though after what happened I doubt that’s how she was feeling. But either way a look like this is seriously perfect for summer and needs to be shopped.

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess


Liz McGraw's Printed Maxi Dress

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Originally posted at: Liz McGraw’s Printed Maxi Dress

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