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Originally posted at: Georgina Ferzli’s Grey Layered Sweater Dress and Boots

Photo: @loveislandusa

Style Stealers

Top Posts

Amanda Batula’s Season 10 Reunion Look

Ariana Madix’s Turquoise Mesh Dotted Turtleneck and Pants

Ariana Madix’s Black Cutout Gown on The Love Island Season 8 Premiere

Summer House Season 10 Reunion Looks

Best of Summer House Season 10 Fashion and Beauty Finds

Amanda Batula’s Brown Confessional Top

Lindsay Hubbard’s Grey Crewneck Cardigan

Madison LeCroy’s Barrel Leg Jeans

Amanda Batula’s Light Blue Striped T Shirt

Jo-Ellen Tiberi’s Green Fringe Crochet Mini Dress

Lindsay Hubbard’s Army Green Cargo Pants

Liz McGraw’s Pink Floral Corset and Pants

Amanda Batula’s Chunky Stone Necklace

Amanda Batula’s Brown Suede Jacket with Lindsay

Amanda Batula’s Army Green “Raincoat” with Kyle

Amanda Batula’s Brown Suede Pocket Front Jacket and Ripped Jeans

Amanda Batula’s Black and Polka Dot Maxi Dress at the In The City Premiere Party

Georgina Ferzli’s Navy Blue Sheer Dress

Ciara Miller’s Navy Blue Pajama Set

Kelsey Swanson’s White Varsity Sweater

Amanda Batula’s Navy Blue Lounge Cardigan and Pants

Lindsay Hubbard’s Green Striped Maxi Dress

Liz McGraw’s Red Light Face Wand

Amanda Batula’s Red Long Sleeve Ruffle Dress

Originally posted at: Ciara Miller’s Brown Leather Patchwork Dress on Love Island

Years ago, before the internet settled household arguments in seconds, my then-husband and I had an ongoing disagreement about the lyrics to a song.

The song was “Drift Away” by Dobie Gray. I insisted the lyric was, “Give me the beat boys and free my soul.”

He insisted it was, “Give me the Beach Boys and free my soul.”

At the time, there was no easy way to prove who was right. And frankly, they both made sense, even though it was a soulful song and the Beach boys are a pop genre.

We would hear the song on the radio, have the same argument, and move on with our day. Then the internet arrived. Finally, the answer was available in black and white. I looked up the lyrics and triumphantly showed him the screen. There it was. Proof. The lyric was exactly what I said it was.

My husband studied the evidence, looked up at me, and said, “I still think it’s give me the Beach Boys.”

At the time, I laughed. Then I realized we were never going to be on the same page. There’s a reason he’s been my ex-husband for the last 25 years.

It’s About Acceptance

Now I realize that conversation taught me something far more important than the correct lyrics to a 1970s song. It taught me that facts and acceptance are two entirely different things.

Today, I see versions of that same conversation everywhere. People are presented with evidence and refuse to accept it. Companies deny what is written in their own policies. Family members remember the same event in completely different ways. Organizations ignore obvious problems because acknowledging them would be inconvenient.

Reality hasn’t changed. Our relationship with reality has. I’ve come to think of it as reality compromised. Not because facts no longer exist, but because many people seem increasingly comfortable ignoring them when they don’t support the conclusion they want.

The older I get, the more I think this is one of the defining challenges of our time. No matter how much experience I have under my belt, no matter how much I think I understand things there’s always a way people can maneuver about it and see other viewpoints.

Here are three lessons I’ve learned.

Lesson #1: Facts Don’t Always Win

Most of us were taught that if we could present enough evidence, reasonable people would eventually reach the same conclusion.

 Life has taught me otherwise.

People don’t process information as objectively as we’d like to believe. We filter facts through our experiences, fears, loyalties, beliefs, and interests. Sometimes accepting the truth requires admitting we were wrong. Sometimes it requires changing our behavior. Sometimes it costs us something. When that happens, many people choose comfort over reality.

 Understanding this doesn’t make it less frustrating, but it does make it less surprising.

Lesson #2: Choose Your Battles Wisely

This may be the most important lesson of all. When I was younger, I believed every misunderstanding could be resolved if I just explained myself better. If I provided one more document. One more witness. One more piece of evidence. Now I’m not so sure.

As reality becomes increasingly negotiable, there will be no shortage of battles available to us. The question is not whether you can fight them. The question is whether they deserve your time, energy, and peace of mind.

Some issues matter deeply and are worth pursuing. Others are simply arguments waiting to consume your life. Learning the difference is wisdom.

Lesson #3: Stay Anchored in Reality

The fact that someone disagrees with you does not automatically make you wrong. Nor does it automatically make you right. The answer is not to become stubborn. The answer is to stay grounded. Gather facts. Verify information. Remain open to changing your mind when new evidence appears. But don’t let someone else’s refusal to acknowledge reality shake your confidence in what you know to be true.

Reality does not require consensus. It exists whether people agree with it or not. Every time I hear “Drift Away,” I still smile. Not because I won the argument. Although I did. I smile because that silly disagreement taught me something that has become increasingly valuable over the years.

Facts matter. Reality matters. And in a world where more and more people seem willing to negotiate both, staying anchored to reality may be one of the most important life skills we have left.

What’s Next:

Do your own research stay grounded in the facts and ask yourself: “Do I need to die in this mountain or can I let it go?”

What About You?

As you’ve gotten older, have you found it easier or harder to deal with people who simply refuse to acknowledge reality? What helps you stay grounded when someone else’s version of events doesn’t match the facts? Share your experiences in the comments.

As we age, we’re told we lose muscle strength unless we engage in strength training. This article disputes the notion that walking isn’t strength training.

We build strength in different ways. Strength of character, strength of mind, strength of body. We’re told we need to exercise if we want to keep our vitality, our cognition, our balance, our daily functioning. Few people talk about maintaining strength of character. It seems once you’ve built character, it stays with you.

Physical strength, emotional strength, character strength, and strength of mind influence each other. One feeds the other and vice-versa. To build physical strength, you need strength of mind. To build emotional strength, you need character strength. You build character by overcoming obstacles.

Strength and Walking

I am a walker and a hiker. I want to talk of building strength through walking. For humans, walking is a basic mode of locomotion. Think of the joy a child feels when it stands and takes initial steps. Via walking, a child discovers entirely new experiences. Walking opens a different way of seeing and experiencing the world.

Seeing and experiencing through walking lasts a lifetime. If we give up walking for driving a car, or another mechanized mode of transportation, we give up an essential means of maintaining vitality. By minimizing walking, we gradually lose physical strength. By losing physical strength, we lose confidence, become emotionally unstable, which leads to loss of character strength.

Have you ever experienced renewed vigor after a walk that led you to face a difficult problem? Indeed, this demonstrates how body, mind, and psyche interconnect.

Strength Doesn’t Get Built Overnight

Every January people commit to improving their health by going to the gym, starting an exercise program, losing weight. To improve their minds by reading more and developing a regular sleep routine. To relax more, they start a relaxation or meditation practice. If you lack character strength, discipline, and emotional regulation, your intentions will fail by March. It is easier to start where you are and make one minor change at a time.

If you haven’t been walking, fit in a short walk at a convenient time of day. See how you feel and keep at it. Consistency is the key to success. Every little walk builds strength. I had to rebuild my fitness after a full knee replacement. My mind and body crave walking, so it’s easy to get out the door.

To overcome stiffness and pain, and build up my leg strength again, I had to increase the distance incrementally, or I would experience a painful backlash. It took 6 months before I could walk my usual distances. My mood has improved, my thinking has improved, my sleep has improved, and my zest for life is back. I’m planning trips that need resilience. Here’s how strength can be rebuilt during older life stages.

We Are Told That If Strength Isn’t Immediate, It Isn’t Real

When you take that first walk; when you pick up that 2lb weight, when you hold your tongue in an argument, you don’t feel strong. But when your walk happens 4 times a week, or the weight you can pick up becomes an 8lb weight as you do your reps, you start feeling stronger. Walking away from abusive arguments makes you feel strong. Strength doesn’t happen at once; it grows quietly, when you persist, and it becomes real. Building strength in small increments builds or rebuilds character.

Strength Is in the Returning, in Taking Small Steps

Maybe it’s a brief phone call to an estranged friend or a family member that opens the door to building a renewed relationship. By returning over and over to a friend or family member, you build a strong relationship. It takes strength of character to take the first step.

To join a walking or hiking group takes inner strength. To join a book group, or other group, takes courage. Once you do it, you’ll find that the group energy will carry you. You will build not only physical or emotional strength, but you will build friendships that will strengthen your self-esteem. You will build a support system that will strengthen your daily functioning.

To meet people after relocating to an unfamiliar town, I became part of multiple hiking clubs. I started my own walking group as well. Within a year, I had a circle of friends I could relate to, share with, and who helped me solve problems as I navigated contractors, landscapers, and medical providers. Now I can help other newcomers by inviting them to my walk-and-talk group on Thursday mornings and referring them to our local hiking groups.

I fill a role in my community. All this builds strength. I have found other hikers who will challenge themselves, and I can continue my long-distance hiking in good company. My sense of vitality is high for my age.

Vitality Is a Core Strength

Upon waking, do you greet the new day with a smile? Are you able to extend your walk when you’ve taken a wrong turn on the trail? Do you have the energy to help a neighbor or friend? If you can say yes to these questions, you have vitality.

Walking maintains and builds vitality. You don’t gain vitality by doing reps in the gym – although that is a good thing to do to keep your physical strength. Vitality arises from physical, emotional, and mental balance. All the forms of strength work together to create vitality. Vitality is not dramatic; it is devoted to your well-being.

Vitality is the hum that fuels your life. It will surprise you and show up when you need it. I rely on my vigor for tough tasks, for occasional bursts of energy in routine living. I pay attention to having balance in my life so my vitality springs up again and again. Reboot your system and revitalize yourself through walking or hiking. But after a stressful period in your life, or when you’re recovering from an illness, rest will build strength and vitality.

Women past 60 seeking renewed energy plus a fresh path should start right where they are, incorporating small, manageable doses of the strength-building techniques discussed.

Let’s Have a Chat:

How do you build your strength? Which area are you strongest in – or do you maintain a balance?

Photo: @loveislandusa / Styled By: @emilyabbey_
 

Style Stealers

Top Posts

Amanda Batula’s Season 10 Reunion Look

Ariana Madix’s Turquoise Mesh Dotted Turtleneck and Pants

Ariana Madix’s Black Cutout Gown on The Love Island Season 8 Premiere

Summer House Season 10 Reunion Looks

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Amanda Batula’s Brown Confessional Top

Lindsay Hubbard’s Grey Crewneck Cardigan

Madison LeCroy’s Barrel Leg Jeans

Amanda Batula’s Light Blue Striped T Shirt

Jo-Ellen Tiberi’s Green Fringe Crochet Mini Dress

Lindsay Hubbard’s Army Green Cargo Pants

Liz McGraw’s Pink Floral Corset and Pants

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Amanda Batula’s Brown Suede Jacket with Lindsay

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Amanda Batula’s Navy Blue Lounge Cardigan and Pants

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Amanda Batula’s Red Long Sleeve Ruffle Dress

Originally posted at: Ariana Madix’s Orange Braided Crop Top and Skirt Set