Author: Admin01

Imagine yourself at a casual social gathering, where you find the courage to share a life event that deeply affected you. This simple act becomes an icebreaker, and soon, you’re bombarded with comments like, “You should write a book!” or “Your story needs to be heard.”

These reactions, though flattering, hint at a more profound truth that has the power to touch lives.

Challenges to Overcome

But do you? Do you truly grasp the value of your story, its impact on others, and the value it can leave behind? Is it worth remembering, let alone committing to print for the world to see?

Most people who believe they have a story to tell either a) can’t afford to hire a ghostwriter to write it, b) do not make the commitment to work with a ghostwriter who can expertly write it for them in their voice and style, c) do not have the confidence to tell their story, d) cannot imagine anyone would read it, or e) have a sense of self-loathing and feel writing their book is too much like self-promotion.

Legacy Writing

These concerns are not roadblocks, but challenges to overcome. Like any commitment in life, the key is to face them head-on. If you’re truly committed to sharing your story, it’s because you believe in its power to impact others. This belief is your greatest ally in the journey of legacy writing.

Legacy writing is a powerful tool for preserving your personal stories, history, or family history. It’s not just a suggestion; it’s a personal duty and, at times, a pressing call to action, especially considering your age and health. Your children, friends, lovers, and even those once part of your life may discover a side of you they never knew, enriching their understanding of your life journey.

My Experience

For instance, I am assisting a military historian in writing his book. His account of his father’s involvement in WWII and the Korean War and his Air Force experience worldwide will testify to his family’s value of country first and can-do-it-ness, besides a valuable historical record for future generations.

That’s because the book is written like a novel, although based on historical facts. Working with a book coach is like being represented by a talent scout. Your coach sees the essence or gems in the story and knows how to excavate them to the page expertly.

Time Moves in One Direction

On the subject of age, we all feel the clock ticking on our journey here on earth. Unless you’ve had a traumatic experience or phenomenal success in some area of your life, like most of us, you’ve had your ups and downs and taken your path to overcoming obstacles – whether it took a long or short time, whether you were a late bloomer or had an early awareness of your life’s purpose.

The writing of a memoir often begins with the daunting questions of permission, story ownership, and truth-telling, which together can keep the writer from moving into a place where voice and story are free to emerge and the work of crafting their story can truly begin.

The process of learning how to move beyond any constraints to a place of creative clarity in your heart and mind allows the story to breathe.

By examining your life and writing about it, you might just find it adds years to it and is a key motivator reminding you “it ain’t over till the fat lady sings.”

Also read, “OH, I COULD WRITE A BOOK…” WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD!

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What story have you got in you? Have you tried telling it? Are there any fears/constraints that are stopping you at the moment?

Once you have discovered the undertone of your skin, you are ready to go in search of the lipstick and blush color – or colors! – that will brighten your complexion, enhance your whole appearance and possibly become life-long favorites or “signature” looks.

And, as an added bonus – when you find the best colors, you’re unlikely any time in the future to hear the phrase “you look tired” when you’re wearing your new “go-to” lip and cheek colors.

So, here are some thoughts and guidelines which I hope will make the process of “the hunt” a bit easier.

Try Lots of Different Colors!

Be prepared to visit a number of different department store makeup counters or head to a Sephora or Ulta store that carries a wide range of brands. Most of all, be prepared to try on more lipstick and blush colors than you ever realized might work for you.

And, let’s be realistic, you may have to make more than one trip to stores to try out lipstick colors and blushes. It’s rather akin to searching for a new perfume, but in this case, you can only deal with so many different colors at one time. I promise though, finding just the right color will be worth it!

Try colors out when you’re wearing little or no other makeup on your face.

If your natural lip color is quite dark, be aware that you may have to go a bit brighter, or brighter and lighter than you’re used to in order to find a color that really “pops” for you. Or, find a lip gloss that can brighten and lighten the look.

Test the lipstick color on your lips and the blush color beneath your cheekbone, not on your hand, wrist or arm. Since our lips are a different color than any other part of our body, we need to put the lipstick color on our lips to get a true “read” on what it will really look like.

Work with an Associate and a Friend

Be willing to work with a store associate who can suggest a few colors to begin with and can completely sanitize the products before you try them on. If you’re uncomfortable sanitizing products, check on the return policy of the store and take home a few colors that you think will work the best.

In fact, always check on the return policy of the store before purchasing any makeup product. And if you can, take a friend with you who will be absolutely honest with you.

Matte or Shimmer?

Stick with matte blush colors, no shimmer or glitter.

Do the opposite with lipsticks. Avoid mattes and stick with luminous lipstick formulations. Matte formulas can dry out our lips and age us. Or, if you absolutely fall in love with a matte lipstick color, find a gloss that you can put over it to make it come alive.

Try out glosses on top of the lip colors. They can lighten and brighten and add even more luminosity to colors which will make a world of difference.

Step outside your “comfort zone” to test-run some colors that you may not have tried or considered before.

To decide between two colors, put them next to each other – each one covering half of your upper and bottom lips. If you put one on the top lip and one on the bottom lip, chances are you’ll rub your lips together which will defeat the purpose of the comparison.

If you’ve narrowed down the colors and are trying to make a decision, shine your phone flashlight on the color and/or walk to an area of the mall or store to look at the color in natural light.

Take a picture of the colors as they appear on your face with your phone and look at them later. Just as you can be a more objective editor when you leave a piece of writing and come back to it later, you can be more objective when you look at the photos later as well.

You’ve Found It!

When you find and wear your Holy Grail colors, don’t be surprised if you hear comments like: “What have you done differently?” “You look so rested!” “Did you change your hair?” or “Wow, you look great!” And best of all, you can feel the confidence that comes with looking your absolute best.

And by the way, if after all your hard work the color should be discontinued, don’t despair. There are companies which “have your back” and can re-create your color from a sample. Awesome!

One Last Thought

Please know that what I’m sharing are simply guidelines. Feel free to wear and enjoy any and all colors that make your heart sing. We’ve certainly earned the right to have that kind of freedom and joy at this stage of our lives.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What have you found to be your most complimentary makeup colors? Do you have a favorite lipstick or blush that always generates a compliment? Please share your experience testing different makeup colors, and how you felt when you found the one that worked perfectly for you.

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Yesterday was an eye-opener for me. I learned something new, and at 72, that’s something. I was reminded of the many small opportunities for connection that exist in everyday life, and how easy they are to overlook.

When I’m out and about, I try to smile, give people the benefit of the doubt, and not take things personally. That’s easier said than done. Sometimes people are curt. Sometimes they’re impatient. I’ve been shoved aside, ignored, and had people butt into line ahead of me. I don’t like it, but I’ve come to realize that most of the time it has nothing to do with me. Life isn’t easy, and for some people, simply getting through the day is challenging enough.

But it isn’t these situations that interest me. What interests me are the moments that break through the often cold and impersonal nature of daily life. I’m talking about the conversations sparked by something mutual, something both people can relate to. They don’t happen often, and most of the time we don’t even recognize the opportunity when it appears.

Rare Gem Encounters

Recently, I was in a local craft shop buying supplies for my jewellery making. Two salespeople were chatting when I approached. I gave them a moment before asking if one of them could help me. As I waited, I overheard part of their conversation. One mentioned that she was waiting for a call from the veterinarian. My ears immediately perked up. It sounded serious.

The salesperson who helped me was lovely and showed me where to find what I needed. There were several options, so I pulled out a photo of my crochet cat earrings and asked which hooks she thought would work best.

That simple question changed everything.

The conversation shifted from earrings to cats. Then to her cat’s illness. Then to my dearly departed Tuxedo. From there we talked about our crafts, our pets, and the challenges that come with loving animals as they grow older.

What stood out for me wasn’t that I spent so much time talking with a stranger. It was that I was open to a connection that could easily have been missed. The topic of cats was our catalyst, the thing that hooked us both.

Not Every Conversation Leads Anywhere

Most chats remain brief and go nowhere. Our daily interactions are largely transactional. Buy the item. Pay the bill. Move on.

The salesperson could have simply shown me the hooks, rung up the sale, and wished me a good day. I could have paid and left without another thought.

Instead, a brief comment about what I was making led to a conversation about cats, illness, loss, and shared experience. Neither of us set out looking for that conversation. It happened naturally because we were both willing to engage.

The Joy Is Often Unexpected

Every now and then, something shifts. A comment, a question, or a shared interest turns an ordinary exchange into a genuine conversation.

It wasn’t planned or forced. Neither of us was looking for companionship that day. Yet we both seemed to leave feeling a little better than when we arrived.

That’s what makes these moments so interesting. They appear unexpectedly and often in the most ordinary places.

The Value of Small Connections

As we age, many of our interactions become routine. We may see fewer people as we’re no longer working, and our days often become more predictable. It isn’t necessarily loneliness. It’s simply that there are fewer opportunities for spontaneous encounters.

That’s why these small moments matter.

Sometimes a conversation becomes more than a transaction. There is no formula for making it happen. Most never do. But every now and then a chance remark opens the door to something meaningful.

Before I left the craft shop, we exchanged contact information. I know we’ll cross paths again.

That conversation added colour to an otherwise ordinary day. It reminded me that some of the nicest moments in life are completely unplanned. They happen when we’re open to connecting with the people around us.

They can happen anywhere. With a cashier, a neighbour, someone in a waiting room, or the person standing beside us in line.

These small human interactions quietly enrich our lives, making ordinary days just a little more memorable.

Click for free access to my Substack, Retired Way Out There, where I publish a bi-monthly newsletter and provide handouts.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you chat with people you encounter at random locations? Have any of these encounters turned into something deeper – even friendship?

Your life is a STORY of transition. You are always leaving one chapter behind while moving on to the next. Some chapters are audacious and breathtaking. Some chapters are full of unspeakable joy and happiness. Others… well… not so much. There are turbulent chapters that leave you feeling like you’re in the eye of a tornado and there are chapters filled with sorrow and sadness. As mature women, we have transitioned through the ups and downs of life and we’re still standing!

When you really think about it, you start transitioning from the time you’re conceived. You transform from an embryo to a child to an adult. And ultimately, we all transition out of this world.

We All Transition from and to Something Else

Life transitions are periods that involve significant changes to your lifestyle. Over our life we start school, we get married, some of us get divorced, and most of us will change jobs.

Most, if not all, of you reading this have experienced a major life transition sometime in your life.

Many of you have experienced a major life transition that has PERMANENTLY ALTERED your life.

I know I have!

Some transitions we can prepare for. Having a baby. Retirement. Moving.

And then there are those transitions that KNOCK you upside the head. Being suddenly DOWNSIZED or even FIRED from a job. A health crisis that hits you without warning. A spouse who walks in one day and says he doesn’t want to be married anymore. And, in my case, having lived in Southern California most of my life, an earthquake can literally transition the ground underneath your feet.

Transitions Consist of These Three Shifts

Keep in mind that 3 shifts must take place in any transition:

• A Mindset shift
• A Heart shift
• An Action shift 

When I think about transition, I think about life – L.I.F.E. Let’s take a deeper dive at that word LIFE for the next few minutes.

L – LET GO of Your Need to Know the Outcome

Hey, I know it’s scary to let go but practicing present moment awareness stops us from writing a detailed mental screenplay of how things will turn out.

Let go by ditching the what if’s because WHAT IF they don’t help you?

LET GO of the physical baggage in your life: During your transition, clean out closets and cupboards! Get rid of artwork that doesn’t ignite your soul and clothing that doesn’t make you feel like a rock star. In other words, STREAMLINE your life.

I – IMAGINE the Best Version of Yourself on the Other Side of Transition

You get to CHOOSE who YOU want to be on the other side of your transition! Nobody else. You have the FINAL SAY over your goals, dreams, and decisions. IMAGINE yourself COURAGEOUS because courage breeds confidence.

F – FREE Yourself

One way to free yourself is by doing what the Italians call dolce far niente – the sweetness of doing nothing. During your transition, take a few moments every day to do absolutely nothing ­without guilt and without anxiety – just sit still and breathe!

Another way to Free Yourself is by firing non-supportive people in your life – those who don’t celebrate you or your journey. And then after you fire them, FORTIFY the relationships that are VALUABLE to you, STRENGTHEN your relationship with those who DO celebrate you and your journey.

You Free Yourself by forgiving others. This one can be a tough one. I’ve had plenty of practice forgiving, especially family members. My dad grew up with nothing and died at 79 years old with a six-million-dollar estate. My mother died two years later in 2014 but not before she and my sister met secretly behind closed doors with the attorney and stripped me of my portion of my dad’s estate.

When I learned of the betrayal it felt like a sucker punch to my gut and a right hook to my jaw. I didn’t have some big, fat 401(k) waiting for me during retirement. The inheritance WAS my retirement. To say I was outraged at the time would be an understatement. My attitude stunk at first.

But… slowly over time… I CHOSE to transition through the process of forgiveness and finally release an expectation gone terribly wrong.

Because you see, transition isn’t just about moving to a new city or starting a new job. It can mean shifting to a new state of mind. Look, there’s no way around it, forgiveness is hard, but it’s the most significant way to free yourself.

E – EMERGE as the New You!

What do you want your life to FEEL like on the other side of transition? What heart adjustments will you make? What new ACTIONS will you take?

I’ll leave you with this, dear ladies. No matter what, honor your transition journey. Give yourself the kudos you deserve for still standing. And the next time you’re standing at the threshold of transition, remember to live life, L.I.F.E.

Let Go. Imagine. Free Yourself. Emerge.

Questions for Deeper Thought:

What major transition left you feeling so heavy that you thought you’d crumble under the weight? How did you navigate through it? How have you prepared for transitions you knew were coming? Move? Job loss? Children leaving home?