I never expected a simple trip to buy vegetables to change my life, but it did. I met Maria at the Santa Cruz Farmer’s Market where she was offering five-minute massages.

My body hurt that day, as it always did. Figuring I had nothing to lose, I stood in line, then when it was my turn, climbed on to her table.

The instant Maria’s hands touched my body, I relaxed. When my allotted five minutes were up, I didn’t want her to stop, so I asked her to explain what she was doing. That’s when she told me about the Hendrickson method.

I’d been to many chiropractors and massage therapists, but I’d never heard of this method before.

When I looked it up online, the official website described it as “an advanced system of massage and manual therapy that is profoundly relaxing to receive, effortless to perform, and an efficient and effective treatment for acute and chronic pain.”

Rheumatoid Arthritis

Acute and chronic pain. Yup, that’s me. Since age 40, I’ve lived with rheumatoid arthritis, a chronic inflammatory disorder which causes a painful swelling in my joints that leads to bone erosion and deformity.

RA is an autoimmune disorder that occurs when the immune system mistakenly attacks the body’s tissues. My condition was relatively well-managed with a weekly dose of methotrexate, a very old remedy.

I would wake up stiff in the morning, with aching wrists, elbows, and shoulders, but by 10 or 11 a.m. I usually functioned pretty well.

Polymyalgia Rheumatica

Or, I did, until I was also hit by PMR, Polymyalgia Rheumatica. This is another immune disorder that causes muscle pain and stiffness, especially in the shoulders and hips. PMR attacks older people, usually those over 65. It hurts. A lot.

PMR restricted my movements to the point where I was unable to raise my arms to turn off the alarm in the morning, or to brush my hair or teeth. The pain in my hips was so severe I had to stop attending my exercise class. I couldn’t even walk around the block.

Physicians typically prescribe corticosteroids to reduce the inflammation and pain caused by PMR. I had been taking prednisone for two years when I met Maria. Side effects of prednisone include weight gain, thinning skin leading to bruising, low blood pressure, and difficulty sleeping. I’d experienced all of them.

I had been trying for months to taper off the drug, but it wasn’t going well. As soon as I reduced the dose, I experienced withdrawal symptoms – joint and muscle pain, fatigue, headaches, nausea, and vomiting.

In addition to the smorgasbord of withdrawal symptoms, the PMR would flare up, and I’d be in pain from that too. It was so frustrating. Each time I managed to reduce the prednisone by a milligram or two, the pain would slam into me, and I would give up and increase the dosage again.

I had been trying to get from 15 milligrams to 0 for six months, and was about to give up. I felt like a drug addict.

Maria and the Hendrickson Method

This is where I was when I met Maria. After our brief session, when she said she thought she could help with my joint pain and muscle soreness, I felt a flicker of hope.

I decided to give Maria’s Hendrickson method a try. After our first one-hour session, she told me she would help me reduce my prednisone dosage by working on withdrawal symptoms and flare-ups as they came. We began with weekly sessions, then every two weeks, then once a month.

Maria studied both of my conditions, talked with me about diet and exercise, and attended workshops to find new therapies to incorporate into her bodywork practice. We worked as a team.

Before the Covid pandemic, Maria began each session by taking out her notes from previous sessions and asking me how I had been feeling in the previous week or two. She kept track of all the analgesics I was taking, as well as my current prednisone dose. She was compassionate and kind and never rushed me.

Sometimes she asked me to stand or walk and studied my posture and gait. Then she helped me onto the table and laid her hands on my back for a few moments. She began her treatment with a gentle massage stroke called wave mobilization, based on essential Tai Chi principles of energy healing.

As she moved from one quadrant of my body to another, I would feel my muscles relax, my pain lose its grip, and my general well-being return. I would often be surprised that where pain was present before, there was none after Maria had worked her fingers over it.

A year later, I was down to two milligrams of prednisone and my monthly visits to Maria were the highlight of my life.

An Improvement I’d Not Anticipated

Before I met Maria, I hadn’t even heard of the Hendrickson method. But they have transformed my life. Even now, when we are both confined to our homes, my pain levels are lower than they have been in years, and I’ve worked down to one milligram of prednisone.

I look forward to resuming our sessions, but meanwhile, I am still reaping the benefits of a skilled Hendrickson therapist and this unique therapy.

Disclaimer: This article is not intended to provide medical advice. Please consult with your doctor to get specific medical advice for your situation.

Does an injury or chronic pain interfere with your sleep, the enjoyment of your life, or your ability to work? Are you using analgesics or stronger pain medications to cope? Please share your experience with medical and alternative therapies and let’s have a conversation.

Maria and Arthur are coming towards the end of their lives. They are a couple I know, who raised four children, had vibrant and dynamic careers at the prime of their lives, lived in different countries and made a very positive and significant contribution to the world in various ways.

Now, in their mid-80s, their health is failing them in different ways. Maria has been diagnosed with a muscle-wasting disease, and Arthur has had a stroke, and while still at home, is highly dependent on carers for all his basic functions.

Their children are rallying around, visiting more often, aware that they don’t know how much longer their parents will be alive, and wanting to help in any way they can.

Maria and Arthur’s world is closing in on them. Where before they would have been interested even in just walking to the local shops for the daily paper, now their perambulations take place in shuffling around the garden.

For those close to them, this can seem to be terrible, a world that is getting smaller and smaller. But both Maria and Arthur are okay with this.

If you’re in this position with your parents or loved ones, here are 3 tips to help you be with them graciously at this period of their lives.

Maintain a Tender Balance Between Living and Dying

The moment of death is just that – a moment. In fact, if we are with the person as they pass over, we do not necessarily know exactly when that moment is.

If we are with someone as they die, it is only when it dawns on us that the next breath is not coming that they have actually died. Up until that point, the person is alive. Maybe not alive and kicking, but still alive, and thus needs to be treated as such.

For caregivers, friends and family members, the period of a limited life up until death itself can be quite a challenge. Accepting that the loved one’s world has grown smaller can be difficult.

By all means, take your parents out or support them in whatever they want to do, but don’t take it personally if it all feels like too much of an effort for them and they just decline any suggestions.

Unless depression has taken hold, in which case professional advice might be appropriate, take the lead from them and walk the tightrope between being alive and being dead in as sensitive a manner as you can.

Become Comfortable with the Uncertainty

As caregivers, friends or family of those coming to the end of their lives, we never know when a phone call might interrupt what we had planned. We never know when circumstances might dictate the need for research into other ways of providing care.

At any moment, the frail elderly loved one might fall and break a bone, become ill with a cold that can’t be shaken off, or discover a new diagnosis that brings the end nearer.

If we can’t cope well with this uncertainty, then worry and anxiety take hold.

We all know that it’s no good worrying about anyone, but in the wee small hours, when the world is dark and quiet, and everyone else is asleep, it is fertile ground for our thoughts which run away with themselves into a land of future projections, fears and concerns always beginning with ‘What if?’

Instead of this, we need to learn to live with the uncertainty; to stop playing the game the whole human race plays, of pretending we know what is going to happen.

When we acknowledge that, we can then turn to the present moment, bring mindfulness to bear, and once again, accept what is here rather than what isn’t. This is a practice that requires practice, but with that, becomes easier and easier.

Show Patience

Maria finds herself apologizing to her daughter – “I’m so slow these days, everything takes so much longer.” Her daughter is reminded of when her children were young, and she had to allow half an hour of preparation before they went anywhere.

Now, she notes that while it would be much easier and quicker to do things for her mother and father, she needs to bring patience to bear.

She needs to allow them the time to continue doing what they can do rather than – under the guise of being helpful – take away from them the ability to care for themselves.

Hence stacking the dishwasher, making a cup of tea, or watering the plants may take much longer, but it is important that these daily tasks are done while the aging person can still do them. There is a fine line to tread between ‘taking care of’ and ‘taking over.’

Take Care of the Administration Beforehand

Overall, after someone dies it is much easier to deal with the administrative aspects of their life if they have been discussed in advance of that death, sometimes years in advance.

That’s the purpose behind my forthcoming book, Before I Go: The Essential Guide to Creating A Good End of Life Plan.

It is meant to inform, encourage and inspire people to understand the importance of having thought through the myriad of questions that need to be attended to; and then to have discussed and written down what is ideally wanted in their end-of-life plan.

If you’re in this situation with dying loved ones, do you know what they want after they have died? Do you know the details of any kind of celebration they want?

Do you know what is important to them at this time, how they want to be remembered, what are their accounts’ passwords? If you answer no to these questions, do you dare to ask them? I challenge you to do so.

Do you have any suggestions on how to have a positive conversation with a dying loved one? Have you shared your own end-of-life plan with those you love? Please share your wisdom on making this conversation as easy as possible.

Braunwyn Windham-Burke’s Green Bathing Suit on Instagram

Real Housewives of Orange County 2020 Instagram Fashion

Braunwyn Windham-Burke wass a lean green Instagramin’ machine in her bathing suit worn this weekend. She looked her brightest, hottest and best for her first time away from her kids with her husband this weekend. She has kept the summer content coming despite adhering to the rules of the Q like a champ, which is great for all of us and our closets. Especially mine because I am on a bathing suit rampage. The downfall is that it’s not so great for my bank account.

Speaking of closets, I actually decided to color coordinate mine and it definitely hi-lighted a deficit in the green section. I actually really like the color as of late and already have a green slip dress on the way. And even if my wallet maybe isn’t full of green, my closet will be after I inevitably buy this super cute, Brauwnwyn inspired bathing suit.

Sincerely Stylish,

Jess

Click Here To Shop Her ViX Sprite Scales Bella Green Bathing Suit

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Click Here to See her HAH Duster

Photo: @braunwynwindhamburke

Originally posted at: Braunwyn Windham-Burke’s Green Bathing Suit

Melissa Gorga’s Neon Pink Slides on Instastories

Real Housewives of New Jersey Instagram Fashion 2020

According to this pic of Melissa Gorga and some of her girlfriends down at the Jersey Shore on Instastories, “Girls don’t like boys, girls like memes and money.” And in our expert opinion they’re also sure to like her super cute neon pink Balenciaga slides, which is why we’re posting on them now so that you can make the splurge just in time for (hot girl) summer.

Fashionably,

Faryn

Click Here to Shop Her Balenciaga Slides in Multiple Colours

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Photo: @MelissaGorga

Originally posted at: Melissa Gorga’s Neon Pink Slides

Brielle Biermann’s Chanel Blotting Pads on Instastories

Don’t Be Tardy Instagram Beauty 2020

Brielle Biermann’s Chanel (yes you read that right…Chanel) blotting pads that she showed off to us on her Instastories the other day are the perfect example of something completely and utterly unnecessary that we didn’t know we needed until now. I mean sure they may cost around seven times the amount of regular, non-luxury brand blotting pads that you can buy at the drugstore, however in our opinion they’re still totally worth the splurge considering a) they come in a very convenient case with a built-in mirror that can be reused afterwards, b) there’s a total of 150 pads in each pack which is more than the average pack and c) the most important point of all (obviously), the Chanel logo is all over them. Meaning that there’s now a way for us to blot our greasy face oil in public that’s considered completely socially acceptable; well in our (little Chanel blotting pad) books anyway. 

Fashionably,

Faryn

Click Here to Shop Her Chanel Blotting Pads

Photos: @BrielleBiermann

Originally posted at: Brielle Biermann’s Chanel Blotting Pads