The early decades of life often provide a built-in, already prescribed identity for many. We are students, then perhaps spouses, professionals, parents, or maybe all of those at once.

Our identity is so intertwined with these roles, and the many related tasks, that we don’t pause to consider whether our identity is what we want it to be. Or whether we’ve lost ourselves in the busyness of driving the mom taxi, climbing the corporate ladder, or being our husband’s wife.

The Days Are Long, But the Years Are Short

Then, one day, the nest empties, and those seemingly endless parenting tasks no longer need to be done. The days of climbing the ladder felt long, but suddenly retirement draws near.

Life throws us curveballs – sometimes illness, other times profound loss. We find ourselves at a crossroad without a map and with our identity in question.

At such a critical juncture, our thoughts matter more than ever. Are the best years in the past? Is the future uncertain and filled with fear? Are you completely lost? Notice what your brain is offering you and remember that we should never believe everything we think.

Thoughts Are Always Optional

Thoughts are powerful because they create feelings, which prompt action, which ultimately produce results – for better or worse. Our human brains often send us fearful thoughts, especially during times of transition. This is simply a sign that our brains are attempting to keep us safe during times of uncertainty.

But the good news is that we can direct our brains to choose any thought that feels true to us. Carefully selected, purposeful thoughts create feelings that serve us.

What if your next chapter is a blank page, and you are holding the pen? What if it is the very first time in decades that you are free of the tyranny of busy? What if your next chapter is an encore performance that no previous version of you could have pulled off?

If those thoughts feel true to you, try them on for size, and see what feelings they generate. Or come up with other thoughts that are true for you that produce useful feelings.

Step one in rebuilding identity is mind management. To unleash the power of your mind, select the thoughts that generate feelings that prompt the actions that produce the results you want in your life.

Define Your Interests

Step two is making a list of things you enjoy; things you’ve been curious about; things you’ve always wanted to learn and never had the time. Add in the things that you’re only recently starting to be curious about.

If you gave yourself permission to be a beginner, what would you do? Include things you would like to try or explore. Add in the things you always thought you would do if you only had the time. As time goes on, you can always add and delete items from your list.

Creating Connection

With life transitions, we tend to lose connections. So, redefining one’s identity is a key opportunity to grow socially. Step three is all about creating connection in the areas that are interesting to you.

Alongside each item on your list, write the name of a friend or acquaintance who has similar passions and interests. It may be a great time to reach out and nurture your existing relationships.

You’ll likely have blanks, and that is perfectly okay. This is where you can expand your social network in new areas that interest you. MeetUp, Eventbrite, uGetTogether, and social media groups are good places to create new connections based on your blank spaces.

Expect that your brain may tell you that it is impossible to grow your connections during a pandemic. In truth, more than ever, social connections are happening virtually, and in some locations, physically distanced in-person gatherings are starting to occur.

Do what feels right to you, but don’t let your brain get away with “It’s impossible.”

A New You

By being “on to” our brains, and choosing only those thoughts that serve us, we can start to believe that this next chapter is indeed bright. From that place, we can define ourselves based on our interests and passions, and then fill our lives with people like us.

By committing to finding our authentic selves, we allow our new identity to reveal itself, and ultimately, we can become all we were meant to be.

Have you encountered a life transition that made you question your identity? How has your identity evolved over time? What have you learned as your identity has developed? Let’s have a conversation.

It used to be that a Target run consisted of grabbing toilet paper, laundry detergent and some snacks. Then, you’d run to Sephora or Ulta to stock up on skin care. Well, not anymore. Now, the best Target skin care includes dermatologist-recommend products, clean beauty, vegan and sustainable goods. There are also products with a serious percent of active ingredients, such as AHAs and BHAs, to banish breakouts and reduce fine lines and wrinkles. Yes, all at Target.

Of course, this isn’t a comprehensive list of products to shop at Target. The beauty aisles (including virtual ones) are stock full. But these are some of the items we full-heartedly stand behind. We’ve tested them, chatted with their biggest fans and checked out the ingredient list. There’s a reason these all have 4.5-5 star reviews on Target’s website. They’re that good.

Update your skin care routine with ceramide-infused cleansers, exfoliating facial peels, vitamin C serum, lightweight lotion and hydrating eye creams. Then, of course, don’t skip the new housewares, designer clothing collabs and yes, all the snacks.

Our mission at STYLECASTER is to bring style to the people, and we only feature products we think you’ll love as much as we do. Please note that if you purchase something by clicking on a link within this story, we may receive a small commission of the sale and the retailer may receive certain auditable data for accounting purposes.

Image: CeraVe.

CeraVe Foaming Facial Cleanser for Normal to Oily Skin

If you listen to any TikTok skinfluencers, you know this simple cleanser is a favorite for the way it both hydrates and controls oil without damaging the skin’s moisture barrier.

Image: Versed.

Versed The Shortcut Overnight Facial Peel

An exfoliating and brightening blend of lactic acid, glycolic acid and vitamin A work overnight to leave skin feeling baby soft (as well as reduce the appearance of fine lines!).

Image: Target.

La Roche-Posay Vitamin C Face Serum

With 10 percent pure vitamin C, this serum both hydrates skin and brightens at the same time.

Image: Target.

E.L.F. Holy Hydration! Face Cream

This lightweight lotion is infused with hyaluronic acid, niacinamide, squalane, peptides and vitamin B5, and is great for all skin types.

Image: Target.

Derma E Hydrating Eye Cream

This dermatologist-favorite brand’s hydrating eye cream contains hyaluronic acid and green tea. It’s also vegan, cruelty-free and free from gluten, sulfates, mineral oils, lanolin, parabens and GMOs.

Image: Target.

SheaMoisture Manuka Honey & Yogurt Glow Getter Honey Mask

This mask hydrates even the dryest skin with Manuka honey and yogurt. Plus, vitamin C improves brightness and texture.

Image: Pixi.

Pixi Skintreats Rose Oil Blend

Replenish lost moisture and boost skin’s radiance with a blend of rose oil, sweet almond oil and jojoba seed oil.

If you’re heading toward retirement, you’re probably fantasizing about: No more freeways! No more deadlines! No more stress! Working after retirement may not even be a thought.

In fact, you may be thinking, “I’m free. I’ll never work again.”

You may be one of the people who just worked for the paycheck. Or, you might have enjoyed your work, but felt it was all encompassing and took over your life. Now you see the end of your daily grind, and you might be thinking, “Now it’s my turn to enjoy myself.”

Yes, it is your turn. And, yes, it is your time. But that doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll never want to work again. Your career and workplace gave you some gifts that you are going to miss and want to replace. Here are a few.

Five Gifts You’ll Want to Replace by Working After Retirement

First, your job gave you an identity. You could describe yourself as a marketer, secretary, banker, director, beautician, nurse or other title. Like most of us, you may have become attached to that title.

Now that you find yourself without it, you aren’t sure of how to describe yourself. This is a good time to reinvest in your personal growth, and figure out who you are from the inside out.

Second, your work gave you a social life. At your workplace you were among others with whom you connected over your job roles, goals, lunches, potlucks and birthday celebrations. Sometimes coworkers even became friends.

Once you leave your job, you will be sitting home alone – unless you find new ways to socialize and develop new relationships.

Third, you knew your schedule. You knew what you were doing 40-60 hours a week for your job. Then you could look forward to weekends, holidays and vacations. All that time was designated.

Now you are going to need to fill that time, or you will feel a void inside of you. That void opens the question, “Now what am I going to do?”

Fourth, at work you had purpose. You had goals to achieve. People were counting on you to deliver results or services or products. Gone!

Yet purpose is so vital to our souls. We need to have something bigger than ourselves to participate in – some way to contribute ourselves to the greater good.

I Found My Purpose

I’ve mentioned before that I love working. I love having a way to use my skills and myself. After my forced retirement I have developed a new business, and I have a life filled with purpose.

I’ve written a book, “Revivement: Having a Life After Making a Living,” in which I help others make the huge transition from traditional work life to renewing and revitalizing themselves in their later years.

I’m speaking and writing on this topic, and using more of me every day. And, I’m having a blast.

The Fifth Gift of Working After Retirement

Fifth, the workplace and your coworkers stretched you as an individual. You may have been challenged by co-worker relationships. You needed to use your initiative, thinking, creative and other skills to do your job.

You had the resources to support you – budgets or mentors or job assignments – to develop something beyond your own personal needs. Now your personal growth takes on a new meaning. What are you going to do to stretch yourself in this new phase of life?

The Personal Gains

You would never have received these gifts sitting at home. Yes, although you may have rightfully complained about your job(s) and the circumstances of your work at times – after all we are human – your job(s) has helped fashion you into who you are today. And, of course, you can continue growing yourself to the next level of who you want to become.

If you do want to work again, remember that you decide what that looks like. You may want to continue the work you presently do, but lessen your hours of involvement. Or, you may want to try something totally new.

There are many options. The word work should not deter you from enjoying a next career if that’s what you want. It’s a matter of choice. Like I said, I am loving my third career. And, I’m 78.

In the meantime, if you have any specific questions about retirement life, please email me. I’ll share my responses in my next Sixty and Me blog.

Do you plan on working after retirement? Why or why not? What is your strategy of regaining your mojo once you’re retired? How do you decide whether work is part of your future? Please share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below!