For most of our lives, retirement is a distant dream. It is the mirage in the desert that keeps us moving forward, one tired step at a time.

In our younger years, we look at retired folks with a mixture of jealousy and pity. On the one hand, we envy the freedom that we imagine must come from not having to go to work. On the other hand, we fear the wrinkles, stiff joints and sometimes fuzzy memories of our grandparents.

Then, as we reach our 50s and 60s, reality sets in and, unless we are among the “lucky” (well prepared!) few who are sitting on a mountain of gold, we start to fear retirement as much as we look forward to it.

Oh, don’t get me wrong… we still look forward to having more time to ourselves. We still fantasize about traveling, going back to school, pursuing our hobbies and (gasp!) maybe just relaxing in front of the TV on a Tuesday afternoon with a beer in one hand and the Sunday newspaper in the other.

But, here’s the dirty secret that most people never discover until it is too late… retirement, for most people, is nothing like they imagine! And, it is certainly nothing like it is portrayed on TV and in the movies.

It’s not only the decline in our income that catches us by surprise; it is also the lack of social stimulation, difficulty finding meaning and worries about the future that hit us harder than we could imagine.

So, after talking with hundreds of retirees, I started to wonder why more of us don’t take a “practice retirement” in our 50s or 60s. Perhaps, if we faced out future now, we would take steps to change it.

Sound intriguing? Later in this article, I will give two possible ways to take a “Practice Retirement.” But, first, let’s quickly explore what a practice retirement is and how taking one can improve your future.

What is a Practice Retirement?

The concept of a practice retirement is simple. You set aside some time, be it several weeks or months, to live as you would in retirement.

This means that you try, as much as possible, to create the financial, social and practical environment that you will face in your retirement years.

For example, you might begin by calculating how much monthly income you expect to receive from all of your assets, including investments, Social Security and any pensions that you own. Then, you would limit your outgoings to this amount for the course of your practice retirement.

If you are able to take some time away from work for your practice retirement (see option 2 below), you might also try to recreate the social environment that you are likely to face in your later years.

By the end of your practice retirement, you should have a much better picture of your level of preparedness. And, maybe your experience will raise some important topics to discuss with your partner, financial advisor, boss and friends.

So, how can you set up your own practice retirement? There are two ways, each with their opportunities and challenges.

Practice Retirement Option 1: The Marathon

The first option that you have is to keep your life pretty much the way it is now and simply limit your budget to a post-retirement level. In this scenario, you would continue to get up and go to work every day and spend time with your work friends. You would simply adjust your budget.

The advantage of this approach is that it allows you to track your spending and live on your post-retirement budget for a long time. I even know people who have practiced this approach for a year (or more!)

The disadvantage of this approach is that it only gives you insights into one aspect of your retirement – your financial situation. It won’t tell you anything about your social situation, hobbies or mission.

Practice Retirement Option 2: The Sprint

Another option is to take a long vacation (preferably more than a month) and try to replicate, as much as possible, what your post-retirement life will be like.

In my experience, this is a difficult approach to take because most people treat their short practice retirement as a long holiday. For example, they spend way more than they actually would in an average month.

So, the trick here is to limit yourself financially and socially to match the situation that you could expect to face in retirement. Unless you have enough money to travel every month, don’t travel. The goal here is to get an accurate view of your future, not to have one big party.

The advantage of this approach is that, when done correctly, it allows you to get a 360-degree view of your future – financial, social and emotional.

The disadvantage of taking a short “sprint” practice retirement is that it has the tendency to paint an unrealistically rosy picture of your future unless you are unusually disciplined.

At the end of the day, any form of practice retirement that you take can help you to plan your future. Personally, I wish that I had used both of the above approached before I left my corporate job. If I had, I would have avoided many painful situations in the first years on my own.

Have you ever thought about taking a practice retirement? Why or why not?

Hannah Ann Sluss’ Blue Printed Jumpsuit in Peru

The Bachelor Season 24 Episode 7 Fashion

There’s no questioning the fact that Hannah Ann Sluss’ blue printed jumpsuit from this week’s episode of The Bachelor was super cute. So cute that if we were to list all of the qualities that we love about it (i.e. off the shoulder style, cool mixed print and side cut outs to name a few) we have a feeling that it would probably end up giving us a serious case of carpal tunnel syndrome like Hannah Ann probably has now.

Fashionably,

Faryn

Free People Jumpsuit Sold Out

Originally posted at: Hannah Ann Sluss’ Blue Printed Jumpsuit

Kyle Richards’ Feather Top and Crystal Studded Jeans

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Instagram Fashion

Kyle Richards’ came to us from New York via Instastories in her black feather top and crystal studded jeans to give us the Beverly Hills fashion realness we are always waiting for. Although she’s not wearing items from her own line here, she’s currently working the Kyle x Shahida booth at Coeterie where buyers come purchase clothing wholesale for their stores.  It brings me back to me previous life where that was my day job! I only wish I was still wholesaling now in the days of Kyle manning booths and Melissa Gorga wandering the aisles as a buyer.

Unfortunately none of us will be getting our hands on Kyle’s embellished jeans today, unless they’re restocked at some point. But if you scramble you can scoop up her bold, black feathered top, which will totally keep you looking fly just like Kyle.

The Realest Housewife,

Big Blonde Hair

Click Here Top Shop her Veronica Beard Top

Click Here to Shop Additional Stock

Click Here to See her Sold Out Stephanie Gotltieb x Joes Jeans 

Originally posted at: Kyle Richards’ Feather Top and Crystal Studded Jeans

Do you remember when you thought your parents were so out of date, it was almost embarrassing? They didn’t know anything about the music you listened to. And all sorts of words that seemed really sophisticated to you were unknown to them.

Well,
the world turns, as we know, and suddenly you may find that you aren’t in much
a different situation.

There
are numerous ways in which I feel no longer up to date. Here, I want to talk
about words. Before you read further and panic, there is a glossary below.

A Whole New Vocabulary

I
knew that young people like to use words differently. What I did not know was how much
they like to do so. I asked my 13-year-old grandson for a few examples and was
overwhelmed by his response.

These
may be international or limited to England or, indeed, South London teenagers.
I have subsequently been told that some are quite old, yet still unknown to me.

Are
there any peng foods out there? Or are
they all butters?

Do
you have friends who are extra? Are
they sick? Are you ever salty? Or gassed?

There
are many more, but this gives you an idea.

Yes,
it is hard to keep up. Certainly for me. Sometimes I feel I come from another
planet. Perhaps you are doing better.

Acronyms

I
always knew there were acronyms, very popular on social media and to some
extent texts. I have used some in my time, like FYI, which goes
back to working in an office in the 1960s, or ETA, which is very old.

I have
even learned a few new ones in recent years, such as LOL and FOMO.

Again,
I asked a younger friend who uses Facebook a lot for a few examples and was
taken aback by the variety. She told me about ILR and IKR and BAE.

I
asked a different friend for advice last week, nothing to do with this article,
and he signed off HTH. I had to write
to ask what that meant.

Do
any of these mean anything at all to you? If so, you are doing well!

Emojis

I
don’t know whether to call emojis ‘words’ or something else. As a writer, I
don’t like them, as it is with words that we can best specify precisely what we
want to say. I have certainly never used an emoji in my life.

But
I do receive them. Sometimes, I get one attached to a text message, and I have
no idea what emotion it is supposed to convey. How are we supposed to know?

Do You Try to Keep Up?

We
older people have a choice. We can accept our position as oldies and get on
with our lives.

Or
we can try to fit in. Which can lead to problems. David Cameron, when he was
Prime Minister not that long ago, famously used LOL in a text, thinking it
meant Lots of Love. But no, it meant Laugh Out Loud. The world tittered, but he
had my sympathy.

I
know where I belong. I have not heard of the singers who are well known to my
children, not to mention grandchildren. Nor do I have the vocabulary to
distinguish the multiple forms of what we used to call simply ‘pop’ music.

Newspapers
are awash with stories of the antics of celebrities whose names are unknown to
me. Very odd.

Once
you get used to your place in this particular hierarchy, it is fine.

And Remember

Our
grandchildren cannot easily imagine being old themselves. But we know it will
happen, even if we are not around to see it. And we know that they will suddenly find themselves out
of date. Good luck to them.

As I
wrote above, the world keeps turning.

A Basic Glossary

Peng                     good looking or good
tasting food

Butters                 the opposite to peng

Extra                    being over-dramatic about everything

Sick                      something that is ‘awesome’

Salty                    being angry or sore loser

Gassed                very proud of yourself, really happy

FYI                       for your information

ETA                      expected time of arrival

LOL                     laugh out loud

FOMO                 fear of missing out

ILR                      in real life

IKR                      I know, right?

TFW                    that feeling when

BAE                     significant other (may come from Before All Else, but derivation disputed)

HTH                   hope that helps

I
would like to thank my grandson, James, for his help with this article.

How
often do you feel out of date in modern society? Do you know and like any of
these words and acronyms? Are there others you particularly like and use? How do you feel about emojis? Please share with
our community!

February has long been considered the month of
love. Whether or not you’re in a romantic relationship, this month is a good
excuse to celebrate any type of love and adoration, whether it’s for a partner,
friend, child, parent, or pet.

My father was someone who believed in
unconditional love. As a Holocaust survivor, he was simply grateful to be
alive. In this regard, I’ve always viewed love as a more universal emotion,
something inspired by my dad.

He also instilled in me the tradition of
celebrating Valentine’s Day with cards and heart-shaped chocolate boxes, so I
grew up believing that Valentine’s Day wasn’t always about romance.

At the same time, in recent years I’ve been
contemplating the concept of unconditional love and thinking about what it is. Unlike
conditional love, which is earned, unconditional love exists without,
well, conditions.

What Does Unconditional Love Really Mean?

Unconditional
love is caring for someone’s happiness without expecting anything in return. It’s
also a type of love that separates people from their behaviors. This is the
kind of love parents have for their children, or pets have for their masters
and mistresses.

It’s
love that is given freely and without question. It’s simply a feeling that
stems from an open heart, and it is nonjudgmental and accepting.

Sometimes
we might love others unconditionally, but we might not approve of their actions.
For example, an adolescent going through challenging times, or an aging mother
who has become more cantankerous and aggressive as she approaches an advanced
age.

Does Age Soften Our Set Ways?

While
we might become more opinionated and fixed in our opinions as we age, I feel
that in many cases, there’s a softening of our conditional love toward others,
along with a calm understanding and acceptance that we’re all different. Being
kind, compassionate, and grateful also seems to be even more prevalent as we
age.

Transpersonal
psychologist John Welwood wrote a great article on the subject in The
Journal of Transpersonal Psychology (1985). He began by saying, “At the
very heart of our experience of being human, each of us has an intuitive sense
of the value of unconditional love.”

He
remarks that unconditional love seems to be most present during the beginnings
and endings of life because we feel most moved by the presence of others in our
lives.

Unconditional
love in a long-term relationship is not a co-dependency situation; it’s
characterized by allowing both parties to grow and follow their dreams.

A
couple loves one another because they share similar worldviews and values. It
also means that there is a foundation of trust between both individuals.

How Do We Show Unconditional Love?

In order to nurture the concept of
unconditional love, you must have a generosity of spirit, be accepting, and
understand what the other person is experiencing. Here are some ways to garner
unconditional love from another person:

• Be understanding.
• Show feelings of
  joy when in the other person’s presence.
• Remain independent
  and nonattached.
• Foster a
  generosity of spirit toward the other person.
• Hold feelings of
  compassion.

There are definite advantages to nurturing
unconditional love. For example, holocaust survivor Viktor Frankl drew a correlation
between unconditional love and happiness. In other words, the more you practice
unconditional love, the happier you will be. It’s so simple.

Which of your relationships bear the mark of
unconditional love? Why do you think so? Which of your relationships need to be
nurtured more? Please share your thoughts with our community.